Condoms
From shouting “Condom!” to more romantically delicate methods.
Always be prepared, or so the boy scouts’ saying goes. And with this bizarre spring-loaded, condom-dispensing belt, you will be!
How else are you supposed to sell prophylactics?
Warning! Hot dino-on-dino action coming up, so check whether your workplace Internet policy allows such things before reading on.
Growing up in dreary North West England and attending Catholic school, my experience of “sex education” amounted to little more than a couple of awkward encounters around the back of a local bowling alley and a guest speaker coming into school one afternoon to show us a selection of gruesome slides labelled with the names of various sexually transmitted diseases. Thankfully, with the help of (painfully slow dial-up) internet access and my surprisingly liberal parents, I managed to piece together enough info to work out what went where and how, and made it to adulthood relatively unscathed, only occasionally feeling pangs of guilt whenever I had impure thoughts about the cute presenter of youth-oriented news programme Newsround.
If only I’d grown up in Japan and had YouTube to hand; with videos like this one from Japanese NPO group Pilcon – which instructs us how to put on a condom in a manner we can only describe as “sex ed meets airline safety demonstration with extra smiles” – I could have learned so much more easily!
But what on earth is that sock thing she has in her hand?
For modern society to function, there is a line that must be protected. When it does its job, it’s often taken for granted, but should that line break down, fear and panic will shortly follow. The line must hold at all costs.
However, the line cannot be too thick, lest it rob humanity of the joy it needs to continue as a species. For the line to do all that it must, it must be precariously thin, yet unbreakably strong.
What’s that, you ask? Is this thin line the police, who separate the law-abiding and criminal elements of society? No. We’re talking about Japan’s thinnest condom here.
Known the world over for impecable manners and social etiquette, yet at the same time home to a thriving sex industry, Japan is a country of stark contrasts. What goes on behind closed doors is seldom discussed in public and yet with risqué manga and adults-only bars and stores in plain view in most city areas, there are likely few urbanites who aren’t plainly aware that behind its deep bows, well-regimented table manners and ceremony surrounding even the seemingly trivial act of exchanging business cards, Japan has a naughty side.
In a recent survey carried out by Japanese condom manufacturer Sagami Condoms, however, 4,100 people from all over the country disclosed the intricate details of their sex lives, discussing everything from when they first started doing it to how often they have sex today and whether they’re completely satisfied in bed.
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