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funny (Page 160)

Suspected of violating laws related to acts of violence, the first trial for company employee Yoshihito Harada, 25, was held at the Nagoya district courthouse on 16 April. Harada stands accused of puncturing the tires of parked cars that were driven by women in an effort to strike up conversations with the drivers. When asked if there was any truth to the indictment, Harada admitted, “It’s true, I did it.”

According to the opening statement by prosecutors, between April 2011 and December 2012, Harada used a screw driver or other sharp object to puncture the tires of five different cars. The cars had all been parked outside supermarkets in the cities of Miyoshi, Nisshin and Toyota, Aichi Prefecture. In all cases the stated reason was so that Harada could establish contact with the women.

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iOS Facebook Chat Update Includes Awesomely Disgusting Projectile Vomit Emoticon

Facebook, possibly in an attempt to outpace Asia’s reigning chat program king LINE, updated their iOS Facebook Chat program on April 17, adding “stickers” that can be used in chat conversations much like LINE’s “stamps” (also called “stickers” in English language versions).

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Anyone familiar with the hit Japanese comic and animation Doraemon will likely know the character Nobita. Cursed with terrible luck, the schoolboy receives help from an earless robotic cat sent back in time by his own great-grandson in the future. Nobita is a lovable character, but “cool” is rarely a word that people use to describe him.

Throwing caution to the wind, however, one young man was spotted riding Tokyo’s trains yesterday dressed exactly like the hapless character. Cosplay or just quirky fashion sense, we don’t know, but the Internet had plenty to say about the rare sight.

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Bizarre Comedian Egashira 2:50 Publishes Bizarre Yoga Book

Egashira 2:50, or Ega-chan for short, is a Japanese comedian with a very unique style. He’s a scrawny, partly balding middle-aged man, who usually appears bug-eyed and disheveled in a diaper or skin-tight pants to perform very physical, usually very dirty gags. His motto is “It’s better to appear once and become a legend than to be a regular all season long,” and his appearances are certainly memorable.

Now, for our viewing and reading pleasure, he’s taking his bizarre style to the publishing world, with a instructional yoga book released this week titled Ega Yoga.

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Fox Sports ‘Foul Ball Armor’ Papercraft Helmet Takes Five Hours to Build, Might be Effective at Your Little Brother’s Wiffleball Game

Fox Sports Japan is offering a freely downloadable “Foul Ball Armor” papercraft helmet for people with a lot of free time and an iron will (papercuts are serious business and you should expect a lot of them building this thing).

You’ll also obviously need access to a printer, or if you have no sense of shame, a nearby Kinko’s.

Fox Sports introduced the Foul Ball Armor in a new television ad campaign to coincide with the March 29 start of the 2013 baseball season.

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Maturing into adulthood while sharing a roof with our parents can be tough. We start to become sexually aware, have boyfriends or girlfriends, and secretly store racy photos, magazines or DVDs where we think/hope/pray that no one will ever find them. And then there’s the Internet…

When our parents openly discuss things that we’d much rather they didn’t even know existed, however, words cannot even begin to describe the feelings of shame and embarrassment.

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We Take Mr. Sato for a Shampoo and Trim at the Pet Salon 【Thrifty Style】

Having already spent the vast majority of RocketNews24‘s budget on trips to Turkey and Portugal or stuffing our faces with vats of curry, we felt it was time to cut back on the spending a little. We know that our star reporter Mr. Sato loves to look good and is constantly changing his hairstyle to keep up with trends, though, so we were concerned that tightening the purse strings would crush his spirit entirely. It was quite the conundrum.

Then it struck us: what if it were possible to take our style-conscious investigator somewhere a little cheaper to get him tidied up every so often? What if one of Tokyo’s own dog grooming salons would consent to giving him a quick shampoo and trim? One slightly confused but ultimately successful phone call later we had Mr. Sato on a leash and were heading out the door.

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We Visit the 2013 Kanamara Festival and Bring You a Slideshow as Long as… You Know

On the first Sunday of April in Kawasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture, the Kanayama Shrine holds a festival known casually as the “Penis Festival” on account of its huge array of multi-colored members.

Known as one of Japan’s oddest festivals, the Kanamara Festival draws huge throbbing crowds from around the world. We sent a reporter to this year’s festival for a glans-on experience. The following is her report, along with more photos and videos than you could shake a wang at.

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Forget Google: Head-Scratching Questions from Japanese Job Interviews

April marks the beginning of a new fiscal year in Japan, bringing with it the season for job hunting. Of course, that means interviews. NicoNico News wondered what interview questions might be lying in wait for the unsuspecting, so they sent out a questionnaire to 1000 businesspeople to hear what questions had stumped them in the past. Here are some of the best, from the truly bizarre to the especially thought-provoking. Read More

There’s a myth that many young men in Japan are familiar with: the physical exertion involved in one ejaculation is the same as running 100 metres as fast as you can. Now, although many such claims often carry about as much scientific weight as the idea that dropping a cold key down someone’s back can cure the hiccups, as any men will tell you, there’s a reason why we often feel the need to collapse and fall asleep after a particularly vigorous session.

Nonsense or not, this particular myth is one that has existed for generations in Japan and refuses to die off, being passed from one huddle of teenage boys or young office workers to the next. For this reason, online magazine R25 turned to a medical professional to get the cold, hard facts.

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Japanese Netizens Mistake Mobile Giant SoftBank’s Proud Announcement for April Fools’ Joke

You know your company has a bad reputation when the general public interprets an official announcement as something so improbable that it could only be an April Fools’ gag.

Japanese mobile provider SoftBank — perhaps most famous for its commercials featuring a talking shiba inu and his human family — announced via its website earlier today that it now officially has the best network coverage in Japan, enabling its users to connect with greater ease than any other mobile phone provider. Alas, the statement was immediately laughed off as a joke by many Japanese Internet users, with cries of “Oh, SoftBank, you guys have a great sense of humour!”

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Presenting: RocketNews24’s First Ever Commercial

That’s right, kids, we’ve hit the big leagues. And it’s all thanks to you. Sure, we began in a tiny one-room office in Shinjuku, bickering with each other about elbow space, missing pencils and who had been using the communal coffee without putting a five yen coin in the jar beside it, but thanks to our wonderful readers and the attention of the Internet masses in general, we’re now a fully fledged news beast stationed in a swanky high-rise where we rub shoulders with some of Japan’s greatest innovators and creative geniuses.

To mark the occasion, we’ve just put the finishing touches to our new commercial, featuring none other than reporter extraordinaire Mr. Sato, and a tremendously catchy jingle. The full video — plus a special bonus version — after the jump!

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There’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Hentai Kamen.

Just two weeks prior to the release of his own movie, the “perverted mask” renegade that is Hentai Kamen has been sighted in a special ad intended to crack down on inconsiderate cinema patrons who use their mobile phones, put their feet up on the seats in front of them or sneakily record the movie with video cameras.

Of course, this being Hentai Kamen, justice comes in usual forms as we see three unsavoury moviegoers get their just deserts, pervert style.

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Whether you realize it or not, you’ve probably had a happoshu (発泡酒）or “low-malt beer-like beverage” if you’ve ever had a night out in Japan.

The taste of a typical happoshu can vary from “pretty close to the real thing” to “yes, this is definitely weasel urine.” Going into a convenience store and blindly grabbing a beer can is thus a bit of a gamble in Japan, so, ever the masculine, barrel-chested and dashingly handsome role model father to our readers, we’ve done the work for you and chosen the five happoshu brands that are worth your time:

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Overhead Tablet Stand Makes it Easy to Use Your iPad While Lounging in Bed

Last month we introduced a clever invention that held a heavy laptop over the user’s head, allowing anyone to use their computer while lounging in bed. This month we found a different version of the same concept: an overhead tablet stand. As long as they are sturdy enough to support the weight of their intended device, the laptop and tablet stands seem like useful products. But if the stands did fail and if you had to choose, we’re guessing you’d rather get a tablet to the face than a laptop.  Read More

It’s a shame that our man Mr. Sato didn’t talk a little more about his own country during his recent visit to Turkey. In a video currently attracting a lot of attention here in Japan, a Turkish television crew hit the streets of Istanbul to ask its residents whether they knew the geographical location of Japan. As it happens, despite the amount of media attention that Japan has received in the past couple of years, the average man on the street in Turkey is still a little off the mark when it comes to the home of sushi and Super Mario…

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You’ve all heard the joke about the sinking ship, right? This joke explicitly reveals the deep inner motivations of the men of many different nations. It’s famous for hitting the nail on the head when it comes to cultural stereotypes. Really, this joke knows you better than you know yourself. Popular in Japan, it also goes down a treat at drinking parties worldwide.

So, what is this joke that so accurately pinpoints cultural stereotypes? Here it is…

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The Onion Tower is Here! Mr. Sato Takes on 100 Slices of Grilled Onion in one Monster Burger

We’ve never been ones to shy away from fast food challenges, and today is no exception. Today may well be Friday to the rest of you, but for the RocketNews24 team, and especially our champion eating machine Mr. Sato, today was and will forever remain the day that we took on the challenge of the 100 slice onion tower.

From the people who brought you the 1,000 cheese slice whopper and the 1,050 rasher bacon burger, we proudly present: The Onion Tower Challenge.

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Domino’s Pizza Japan Teams Up with Hatsune Miku, Releases Fantastic Cringeworthy Video

Domino’s Pizza stepped things up a gear yesterday when it announced that it is partnering with digital pop idol Hatsune Miku for its latest promotional campaign. As well as allowing them to order pizzas without actually having to speak to anyone, the new Domino’s Pizza feat. Hatsune Miku app for iPhone lets customers enjoy private performances from the singing humanoid by pointing the iPhone’s camera at special app-friendly pizza boxes.

Perhaps even better than the campaign itself, though, is the cheesy video that Domino’s launched yesterday to introduce the app, which features company president Scott Oellkers doing his best to look excited about having his photo taken with the teal-haired star. Corporate enthusiasm aplenty after the break.

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Tokyo Store Launches Concierge Service to Help Clueless Men Shopping for their Girlfriends

With White Day little over a week away, thousands of men in Japan are currently feeling the heat. Having received gifts from their loved ones on Valentine’s Day, it’s now time to return the favour by buying their sweetheart something that simultaneously says “thank you” while acting as a token of their affections.

But when most men think of the words “great gift”, they often envisage things like video games or iPad-controlled helicopters, and the chances of such items going down well with their wives or girlfriends are slim to none.

Thankfully, help is at hand! Available at Tokyo’s Tokyu Hands department store, the White Day Concierge service is designed to help male shoppers on the hunt for a romantic gift find something that their other half may actually like, rather than just a female Tenga toy with a ribbon tied around it and the promise of a shoulder rub.

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