funny (Page 152)

Soccer manga “Captain Tsubasa” introduces yet another delightfully ludicrous soccer move

The majority of popular manga and anime are filled to the brim with characters that have ridiculous special moves. But while fans with a reasonable grasp on reality know they can’t possibly recreate Goku’s Kamehameha beam or Attack on Titan’s gravity-defying leaps, part of the appeal of action sports manga and anime is in trying to recreate the awesome-looking (though usually wildly rule-breaking) special moves featured within. Think every North American kid that tried to recreate The Mighty Ducks’ infamous “Knuckle Puck,” but far more ludicrous.

But we’re a little concerned that we might soon be seeing a nationwide epidemic of Japanese kids turning up to hospital with all kinds of mangled limbs in the near future, because already pretty ridiculous soccer manga Captain Tsubasa just introduced this wildly dangerous and maybe physically impossible new special move:

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Remember your manners or these hip-hop cleaning ladies will bust your ass

Few would ever imagine that a pair of cleaning ladies from Japan should be something to be afraid of, but like a childhood friend’s terrifying mother busting a game of spin-the-bottle, a recent series of videos featuring two such individuals has put the fear of God into us today as well as reminding us that we’re never too big for a smack.

Going by the name Caddie Golu Golu, these middle-aged cleaning ladies are part of a campaign by entertainment company Sega Sammy ahead of its golf tournament, the Sega Sammy Cup 2014, which will be held next month. Wearing pink-and-white cleaner’s outfits and giant sun visors, these rapping ladies get up in the faces of rude and inconsiderate golfers, and have also featured in a series of videos meant for the general public, attacking people on the streets of Tokyo who smoke where they shouldn’t, fail to pick up their dog’s poop, or who walk while looking at their smartphones.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Schoolgirls’ “Frozen” lip-sync is hilarious, terrifying

Most countries in the West are finally coming to the end of their own “Let it Go” boom, with the song from Disney’s hit animation now only being played, sung, and hummed about as often as other songs at the top of the charts as opposed to on loop every single minute of the day. But due to the animated film’s late release in Japan, the craze is still going strong over here, and Frozen is still pretty much everywhere.

Thankfully, some Japanese fans are giving our ears a break by opting to sing some other songs from the film, and couples lip-syncing to “Love is an Open Door” have become an increasingly common sight on YouTube. The pair pictured above, though, took a slightly different approach and opted not for sickly-sweet smiles and acting like prim and proper princesses, but for manic hair-whipping, giant flared nostrils, rolled eyeballs and enormous mouths.

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North Korea “invents” performance-enhancing drink from mushrooms, Nintendo lawyers remain silent

In North Korea‘s latest desperate attempt for attention from the rest of the civilized world, the dictatorship – perhaps tired of tossing missiles around for now – bragged through state media that its scientists have discovered a way to extract enzymes from a certain mushroom grown in the region to create a miracle super drink that makes athletes better, faster and stronger.

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Chaozu-kun joins the ranks of unsettling Japanese mascots

Move over Marimokkori, there’s a new creepy mascot in town! The Japan Gyoza Association (because apparently that’s a thing) has just introduced a new character that’s making people vaguely queasy: Chaozu-kun. While he may not be rocking Marimokkori’s round green chubby, he does make us uneasily aware of his sexuality.

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One of the very first Japanese words I learned was afuredasu, or “overflow.” This wasn’t because it showed up in a textbook or a teacher taught it to me, but because afuredasu seems to show up in roughly a third of every Japanese pop song ever produced.

It’s not the only phrase that’s a regular in J-pop lyrics though, as shown by this flow-chart that can turn anyone into a Japanese lyricist.

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Isn’t it a little weird that whenever Princess Peach gets kidnapped, and ostensibly needs to be rescued as soon as possible, Mario literally runs off to save her? Why is it that when time is of the essence, Nintendo’s greatest hero insists on doing the job on foot? After all, it’s not like he can’t drive, since there are now eight titles in the Mario Kart racing series.

Really, it’s about time Mario got himself some motorized transportation, and a star of his caliber needs a suitably prestigious ride. Something like a new Mercedes-Benz GLA, perhaps.

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Nomisugi! Japan’s sleeping drunks get turned into living drink-awareness ads

It’s finally Friday here in Tokyo, and hundreds of thousands of people are gearing up for a night on the town. The weather is fine, the pubs plentiful, and with work done for another week it’s time to cut back and relax with a few beers.

Unfortunately, a lot of people in Japan tend to overdo it when it comes to drink. Combined with an alcohol intolerance that is surprisingly common amongst Asian people, this results in a shockingly high number of alcohol-related mishaps, with businessmen, beautifully dressed girls and college kids alike passing out on the street, in stairwells, on trains and station platforms pretty much every weekend.

The Yaocho Bar Group has been out looking for these sleeping drunks, however, and when they find one they swoop in like a band of rogue graffiti artists, using duct tape and pre-printed messages and slogans to construct a billboard around them, clearly labelling the drinker with the word nomisugi, or “drank too much’.

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One day back in college, I was shopping for some clothes in Yamaguchi. I found a shirt that fit just right, but when I took it off and looked at the tag, I was surprised to see the size listed as “LA.” Curious, I asked the salesperson what it meant, and was told it was an abbreviation for “large athletic,” meaning it was cut for a person with large shoulders and a slim waist.

I’m not sure how much of that was really reflected in the design, but the unexpected written compliment put me in such a good mood I bought the shirt right away, and still have it to this day.

Of course, this sort of psychology can cut both ways, and I’m not sure how one Japanese clothing manufacturer expects to drum up sales by calling out its larger customers in the least delicate way.

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Zen cat proves the ultimate high comes from music【Video】

Between spending all day basking in the sun and playing in boxes, there’s no doubt that the life of a cat is pretty great. And a Japanese musician has reinforced this with a recent video he uploaded of his cat achieving what looks like feline nirvana. The owner, a Tokyo-based music teacher, seems to put his cat in a trance by playing the instrument on top of the cat. Click below to view the video of the cat who could serve as an anti-drug PSA, teaching the world that the best way to get high is through music.

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“Umm… a little help?” Japanese Twitter user’s cat misjudges the size of potential new hangout

Cats are odd creatures. On the one hand, they exert their power over their owners humans on a near daily basis, ignoring us when we call them despite their ears clearly twitching in our direction, pestering us with such skill that it’s almost like they get a kick out of it, and making us fall for that “come, tickle my belly, human… Now, feel my CLAWS!!!” ruse every single time. And yet they occasionally do things that are so incredibly stupid that we wonder how they survived this long as a species.

Case in point, this Twitter user’s cat, who, being fond of tight spaces, climbed into a shrink-wrapped case of mineral water bottles and proceeded to get itself well and truly stuck, looking mightily uncomfortable with its little face pressed up against the plastic and wearing an expression of “this is really not going as I had planned…”

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Japan’s Kinki University decides to change its naughty-sounding name

Sometimes, a name that’s perfectly normal in one language can sound funny, or maybe even offensive in another. One day in college, for example, my friend Gary and I volunteered to show some visiting Japanese students around campus. We met them in the student union, and as soon as Gary introduced himself, one of them couldn’t suppress a tiny chuckle.

You see the name Gary sounds an awful lot like geri, which means “diarrhea” in Japanese. So when my classmate said “Watashi wa Gary desu,” they didn’t hear “I’m Gary;” they heard “I’ve got the runs.”

Of course, the same thing can happen in reverse, too. Just ask the students and faculty of one of Japan’s proudest institutions of higher learning, Kinki University.

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Scooter girl becomes internet sensation with her ballsy driving, epic stink-eye 【Video】

One of the golden rules of the road revolves around the right-of-way. Dig up memories from high school driver’s ed, and you’ll recall that the manual says something like, “the right-of-way is something you give, not take.” In Japan, a term often used to instill defensive-driving skills is yuzuri-ai no seishin, which can be translated as “the spirit of compromise/yielding”.

But we all know people who think that’s crap.

So today, we’re introducing you to a video of a vehicular standoff in Taiwan that is fast racking up hits online. There are no guns or flaming crashes here; rather, the scene is a quiet, humorous one, the like of which probably plays out across the globe on a daily basis.

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It’s becoming more and more common for idol singer units in Japan to pump up their sales numbers by offering some kind of special prize to fans who purchase multiple copies of the same CD. Each disc might come with a raffle ticket for a chance to shake hands with the group, and at least one band will let you straight up go on a date with the member of your choice if you buy enough copies.

By far the most coveted prizes are those handed out by Japan’s biggest musical act, AKB48. The loyalty of the supergroup’s fans is legendary, but even with their reputation proceeding them, we’re shocked at just how much cash the unit squeezed out of one ardent supporter.

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20 signs you might be in India, according to the Internet

An Indian friend once told me that India is a country where “third world” and “first world” meet. You’ve got places that can generally be described by Westerners as “everyday,” and places that are a little more, er… interesting.

In many rural and poor areas – just like in parts of the U.S. – India sees a lot more jury rigging, improvisation, and otherwise unorthodox sights that are reminiscent of one of those “In Russia, hamburger eat you,” memes.

So, in no particular order, here are twenty photos we picked up on the Interwebs that supposedly describe India in a nutshell. Certainly, there’s a lot of cherry picking going on here, so take these pics with a grain of salt. Not all of India is like this. But, to be fair, “20 photos of regular Indian people enjoying brunch” would probably make for a much less interesting compilation.

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Everyday Japanese names that make English speakers chuckle

Funny things, names. In Japan, I am lucky enough to share mine with a delicious kind of stick-chocolate treat, which not only means that I can introduce myself as such: “Fran – you know, like Pocky, but not as cheap”, but also means that I often get given chocolates with my name on the packet, which I can confirm is something of a win-win situation.

My family name, however, is a terrifying mix of Rs, Ls, Ys and Ws that tends to provoke confusion and mild panic here in Japan. I have a good stock line for accurately communicating its spelling and pronunciation in the UK (“Wrigley, like the chewing gum”), and another one for Americans and/or baseball fans (“like Wrigley Field”). I’ve never come up with a good line to use on Japanese people, though, except to awkwardly mutter “um… yeah, sorry, it’s kind of a difficult name. Don’t worry, people in England can’t pronounce it either.”

But what if your name means something embarrassing or just downright odd in another language? Today, we bring you five kinds of Japanese names that make English speakers do a double-take, or a little snort into their coffee.

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How to make McDonald’s four-patty burger diet-friendly: Hold the everything

A lot of people in Japan start to feel down in the dumps in May, as the excitement of the new jobs and school years they started in April gives way to a daily drudgery with the next public holiday months away. For us, though, May has suddenly become the happiest month of the year so far, with the return of McDonald’s Japan’s massive four-patty Mega Mac on May 19.

Here at RocketNews24, we try to stay one step ahead of the latest burger trends, however. Sure, everyone’s excited about having extra meat now, but what if the next big thing is less meat? Could we order our Mega Mac with no meat, or anything else, for that matter?

As it turned out, not only was McDonald’s willing to indulging us in our minimalistic burger experiment, they even got in on the process by offering us some advice.

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Extreme Japanese bargain hunting – We buy a car for 10 bucks

Japan has an image as an expensive country, but with a little searching, you can find some pretty good deals. For example, the other day I went out and got a haircut, bought a shirt, and had a pretty good sushi lunch, and none of those three expenditures cost me more than a thousand yen (US $9.80).

Still, my bargain hunting skills can’t compete with those of our Japanese-language correspondent Go, who with 980 yen just bought himself a car.

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We get our hands on some “Booby Ice Cream” from Kochi Prefecture

Aside from tasting great, ice cream conjures up all sorts of happy mental images. While it’s pleasing your taste buds, the frozen treat can bring back reminiscences of childhood family outings or innocent high school dates in the park.

Or, in the case of one brand of ice cream from Shikoku, sucking on some boobs.

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