funny (Page 149)

How to make McDonald’s four-patty burger diet-friendly: Hold the everything

A lot of people in Japan start to feel down in the dumps in May, as the excitement of the new jobs and school years they started in April gives way to a daily drudgery with the next public holiday months away. For us, though, May has suddenly become the happiest month of the year so far, with the return of McDonald’s Japan’s massive four-patty Mega Mac on May 19.

Here at RocketNews24, we try to stay one step ahead of the latest burger trends, however. Sure, everyone’s excited about having extra meat now, but what if the next big thing is less meat? Could we order our Mega Mac with no meat, or anything else, for that matter?

As it turned out, not only was McDonald’s willing to indulging us in our minimalistic burger experiment, they even got in on the process by offering us some advice.

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Extreme Japanese bargain hunting – We buy a car for 10 bucks

Japan has an image as an expensive country, but with a little searching, you can find some pretty good deals. For example, the other day I went out and got a haircut, bought a shirt, and had a pretty good sushi lunch, and none of those three expenditures cost me more than a thousand yen (US $9.80).

Still, my bargain hunting skills can’t compete with those of our Japanese-language correspondent Go, who with 980 yen just bought himself a car.

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We get our hands on some “Booby Ice Cream” from Kochi Prefecture

Aside from tasting great, ice cream conjures up all sorts of happy mental images. While it’s pleasing your taste buds, the frozen treat can bring back reminiscences of childhood family outings or innocent high school dates in the park.

Or, in the case of one brand of ice cream from Shikoku, sucking on some boobs.

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Academically speaking, most Japanese students don’t have that much trouble with the transition from high school to college. University entrance exams are notoriously difficult, and compared to the diligent studying they had to do to get into college in the first place, most find their educational workload, especially as freshemen, to be pretty easy to handle.

Making friends, though, can be tough. Rural Japan isn’t peppered with college towns in the same way some other countries are, and many students have no choice but to move far away from home to one of the nation’s big cities to pursue higher education. And while many students abroad can look forward to meeting new people in their dorm, very few Japanese universities provide any kind of student housing. Even in the rare case that they do, having a roommate is unheard of.

So it’s no surprise that many students are keen to pick up pointers on how to make interpersonal connections in their new surroundings. Unfortunately, not all advice is good advice, as one Japanese freshman recently found out.

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Time to procrastinate! A cat fights its way through a door and other videos

Oh cats, how we love you. We would try to count the ways, but we know you have better stuff to do than listen to us…like taking a nap in the sun, taking a nap on the couch, or taking a nap in a nabe. So, we’ll just say that of all the reasons we have to adore your fuzzy faces, perhaps the top one is your intractable nosiness. While we’re not entirely convinced that curiosity killed the cat–it might have Schrödinger for all we know–we are certain that watching our feline cuties get up to no good is one of the best ways to kill a few minutes while putting off work. So if you have a big project looming or some housework you’d rather be ignoring, check out these six adorable cat videos!

After all, you really don’t need to do that work today, do you?

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Attack on Titan may be best known for its iconic giant monsters and cool weaponry, but among the many secrets to the hit anime and manga’s success is its extremely compelling setting. With its cast of human characters forced to live within the confines of their walled city, fans have only been provided with fleeting glimpses of the outside world. Does the story take place on Earth? Is it set in the distant past, or maybe the far-flung future?

As part of walking that fine line, when signs, books, and other writings pop up in Attack on Titan, they’re not rendered in anything that looks like a real-world language. Although actually, some eagle-eyed fans found a way to decipher a portion of the series’ text, and what they found was rather like the Titans themselves: one part shocking, one part baffling, and just a little bit comical.

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Godzilla’s favorite food is in, and it’s not Japanese!

Opening in the US on May 16 and July 25 in Japan, Godzilla is making waves as one of this summer’s big blockbusters. But even before Godzilla’s gargantuan presence will grace the silver screen, he’s already making his rounds on the little screen. This latest commercial sees Italian car maker FIAT teaming up with Godzilla to answer the age-old question: “What’s your favorite food?”

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Make your boyfriend hate you with these Line stickers designed for pushy, clingy girlfriends

The social messaging service Line is a huge hit in Japan. It’s easy to use, free, and even lets you decorate your messages with stickers to add a personal touch.

All of this makes Line great for keeping in touch with your friends or dating partner. As a matter of fact, it might have just become a little too good at keeping you connected to your significant other, with a new set of stickers specially designed for clingy girlfriends.

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In any endeavor, you can’t overstate the importance of making preparations in the proper order. For example, it’s best to plan out what you’ll say for your sales pitch prior to sitting down face-to-face with your customer. Likewise, even if you’ve made dinner reservations and meet your date at the exact time the two of you agreed upon, your courtesy and punctuality won’t be particularly appreciated if you neglected to put on a pair of pants before arriving at the restaurant.

Also, should you want to knock over a convenience store, you should actually secure a weapon before you threaten the clerk and ask for the money. Otherwise, your victim might not even realize she’s being robbed, which is what happened to one would-be criminal mastermind in Osaka.

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【TBT】Learning language through nonsense – Japanese author of “Unusable English” speaks

Fantastic octopus wiring!

My brother has been observing the slugs since he got divorced.

Let’s start from where we left off yesterday. Get down on all fours.

No, these aren’t the ramblings of a man with concussion; these are genuine excerpts from Twitter feed and study guide “Non-essential English Vocabulary: Words that will never come up in tests”, a language resource for Japanese students of English that presents entirely useless but infinitely memorable phrases.

With more than 40,000 Twitter followers so far, Twitter feed curator and author Nakayama-san (otherise known as @NISE_TOEIC)’s cheeky tweets are clearly resonating with English learners here in Japan, but why, when the rest of the nation is busy with earnest study, would someone take the time to create a Twitter account dedicated entirely to unusable English? Japanese website Excite Bit sat down with the Nakayama-san to pick up a few study tips and learn little more about the thinking behind the bizarre project.

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Return of the 3-D figure! It’s cheaper and easier than ever before!

Back in 2012, we brought you news about Omote 3D Shashin Kan creating extremely detailed figures of yourself! We brought you the story from the store opening, to our intrepid Mr. Sato’s visit, and the final unveiling of the mini-Sato! For those who were interested in getting their own figure, but didn’t live in Japan, or couldn’t book a reservation in time, or thought it was too expensive, we’ve got some great news for you! And believe us when we say, it might be your wildest dreams come true!

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Japanese netizens share tips on how to be the ultimate bathroom creep

While men and women may not ever agree to how to use the toilet or what the length of an appropriate bathroom visit is, we can probably all agree that nothing is worse than someone is standing right outside the bathroom door waiting for your visit to the porcelain throne to end. Yet, somehow a group of Japanese netizens have found several ways to make that terribly awkward moment even worse.

These netizens recently held an impromptu “contest” to find out the creepiest thing a man could say to a woman after she came out of the bathroom. Click below to find out who managed to come up with the worst phrase and why the only “winner” of this contest was bad taste.

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Aliens attend baseball game, thrown out, never heard from again

“Could there be life somewhere else in the universe?” The recent discovery of the Earth-sized planet (Kepler 186f) is about the same distance to its sun as the Earth is to ours. Is it possible that life does exist outside our planet?

A recent picture from Twitter only helps to increase our hopes while also dragging them away as the aliens are seemingly escorted from “America’s favorite pastime”.

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“It came out of nowhere!” Traffic cam catches poorest excuse ever【Video】

Who is the scariest driver out there? The people who drive 50 over the speed limit? The one who swerves through all the lanes? The slow guy who can’t go any more than 20 under the limit causing you to swear up a storm? Or how about those people who drive the giant trucks, who can’t see anything around them? Yeah, those are pretty scary, and a new video from China shows what happens when those big trucks don’t pay attention!

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Son’s “I love you” phone call to mother has the entire class in stitches

Mother’s Day is just around the corner for people who live in countries such as Japan, America, Singapore, Taiwan, Australia and China, among others. A Taiwanese high school teacher recently made the students call up their mothers, encouraging them to verbally express their love and appreciation.

What should have been a touching and precious moment, however, turned out to be a hilarious situation when one mum hurled some vulgarities back at her son instead!

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Helicopter dog would prefer his boy wore water wings

Pets are pretty great: they are cute, funny and occasionally do crazy things. It doesn’t hurt that they just love us so much (probably more than we deserve, most of the time). You’ve probably heard of helicopter parents, but what about helicopter pets? If you don’t believe me, check out this video. This dog is so sweetly over-protective that it’s bound to inject some happy into your day.

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Japanese YouTuber shows you how not to brush your teeth

YouTube isn’t all cat videos and aspiring singers, you know; it’s actually filled with genuinely creative and talented folks. As proof, we present to you a Japanese guy’s channel dedicated to brushing his teeth with guns.

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Movie magic? Or movie tragic?【Video】

In today’s fast-moving world of entertainment television and movies, many productions have been made possible with the advent of computer-generated images (CGI). A lot of movies and TV shows wouldn’t be conceivable without a little help from the green screen. That’s why it’s so rare today to see some production crews go back and do it “old-school”.

A small production in Taiwan has shared the secrets behind their “movie magic” in a short video, and it’s something that you really have to see, if only because it’s sure to put a big smile on your face.

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Japanese fans: New American Godzilla is “too fat”

Fans of monster movies or big Hollywood blockbusters are no doubt aware that a reboot of the famous Godzilla franchise is due to hit theaters next month. As you might imagine for a movie featuring one of their most beloved pop culture icons, the Japanese are deeply interested in how America is going to bring their national kaiju to the screen.

When clear pictures of the creature hit the net this week, the response was probably not what studio execs were hoping for. Some Japanese fans are apparently calling this incarnation of Godzilla “fat”. Ouch.

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Zooey Deschanel’s trendy new bag makes her look like she mugged a Japanese grade schooler

As dyed-in-the-wool Japanophiles, we’re always happy when something from Japan catches on overseas. Not too long ago, if you lived outside of Japan and liked your fish raw, or your music Japanese, you were part of a pretty small group. Now, though, it seems like every coastal city in the U.S. needs at least one good sushi restaurant in order to claim a respectable dining scene, and J-pop acts go abroad to play in front of adoring, passionate fans.

So when the writers at our Japanese-language sister site told us a new fashion trend with Japanese roots was winning over American fashionistas, including actress and musician Zooey Deschanel, we thought maybe we were about to get the inside line on the summer’s hottest look.

Then, we found out what she was wearing, and we got a chuckle instead.

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