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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 127)

Now, that’s spatial visualization! Indian barber cuts own hair with greatest of ease

I used to cut my own hair before becoming a big-shot RocketNews24 writer who can now go to the local value cuts for a 1,000 yen (US$9) cut every few months. I’m glad those days are behind me, though, because it was a royal pain.

Generally, I’m not a total klutz when it comes to working a pair of scissors. However, every time I got in front of the mirror and raised the blades to my hair, my coordination would suddenly devolve to that of a one-year-old who forgot which way up was.

I’m sure more experience working in a mirror would fix that, and with enough time I might even get as good as this guy from Kerala who is able to give himself a complete lightning-fast haircut. It’s all here in the video Kerala Got Talent; Indian Barbar Cutting His Own Hair recently posted on YouTube.

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Korean activists upset over plans to sew the anuses of river rats shut, make them eat each other

Recently if you were to type the Korean name for a copyu (aka “river rat” or “nutria”) into a search engine it would also likely suggest the Korean word for anus. That’s because of a controversial measure proposed to control the population of these pests which net users are calling “wacky” at best and “needlessly brutal” in the worst terms.

According to a report from South Korea’s Dong-A Ilbo, the new measure begins with sewing the anus of a copyu shut so that it can’t defecate and it really only gets worse from there.

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Biker assaulted by iron bar-wielding Nara innkeeper, not the other way around

The are many pleasant sights and sounds to be found around Japan. One of the most famous is the exaggerated revving of groups of motorbike engines at all hours of the day and night. They’re often referred to as bosozoku which although often translated as “biker gangs” can be misleading as that would imply the use of at least somewhat cool bikes. Bosozoku kids, contrastingly, often ride scooters customized for peak annoyance of all those around, and some of them don’t actually ride their bikes at all.

Despite efforts by law enforcement, this trend continues all over Japan. So it comes as no surprise when people take the law into their own hands. In the case of one Nara resident, “the law” came in the form of an iron bar which he used to break the knee of an allegedly noisy biker.

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Child’s Mobile Cute Gundam entertains parent and moves Japan

When you think of plastic models based on the giant weaponized robots of the Gundam universe, “cute” isn’t a word that often comes to mind. But it’s hard to not give a big, gushy “aww” at one homemade Gundam model gifted to Twitter user Chal by their daughter.

The story as outlined by Chal on their Twitter account and retweeted thousands of times begins with a mysterious paper package with something written on it in crude Japanese. Mini… Gasodam? Mini Garidamu? No. This was a “Mini Gundam” and Chal, an experienced model hobbyist, was up for the challenge.

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What? Pokémon Breeder Girl is evolving! Congratulations! She has evolved into a…

Since the release of Pokémon X and Y a year ago, players in Japan were enamored by the comely pokémon breeder Tsuzumi. Her sparkling brown eyes, bright smile, and huge bucket of what appears to be crap had melted the hearts of many an aspiring pokémon master.

However, in an appearance in the anime version of Pokémon: XY Tsuzumi seems to have undergone an evolution of sorts. If the Twitter users who pointed this out are correct I’d have to tip my hat to the producers for adding a gritty touch of reality to an otherwise out-there plot.

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Stay right on top of Typhoon 19 with beautiful and highly useful online weather services

As of this writing Typhoon 19 is just about right on top of Okinawa. Classified as a “Super Typhoon” by NASA it is far greater in size and power than last week’s storm. The typhoon also goes by the name Vongfong, which we assume is Chinese for “killjoy” because of its incredibly bad timing.

If Typhoon 19 veers East and moves across most of Japan, it will do so right over the long weekend. With all the destruction and at very least wet nuisances brought by typhoons, the one sliver of light had always been that they often brought days off work and school with them too. Not this weekend, however, and many wait to see whether the weather will dash their holiday plans or not.

Luckily there is a plethora of online weather services for us to watch Typhoon 19 in near-real-time that are all both very informative and gorgeous enough to make you want to refer to them even after the storm has passed.

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Hard Ku**mon is here to put lazy mascots out of work with his creepy latex hugs

Over the years the mascot industry in Japan has swelled considerably. An uncountable number of people in big-headed costumes currently represent the nation’s prefectures, cities, government offices and private companies. Then on top of all that we have independent mascots running around too like Funasshi and Teruhiko.

However, the editors at RocketNews24 feel they have come up with something that will bring the entire mascot world down to its knees. His name is Hard Ku**mon and he is prepared to do something that no other mascot has done before: actual labor.

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Protest song featuring Hatsune Miku gets love from Hong Kong

Nearly two weeks into the Occupy Central protests and things have hit a bit of a malaise. The Hong Kong government has cancelled previously promised talks and protester numbers have been on the decline. Organizers are hoping for a surge in support soon to maintain the demonstration.

Meanwhile, a song produced by Toshiharu Mineoka has helped to energize people featuring the vocaloid stylings of Hatsune Miku. Titled “Umbrella Revolution,” it has been generally well-received in Hong Kong and Taiwan since its posting on 1 October. The video’s YouTube page has been inundated with messages of thanks from people in Hong Kong such as “I cried when I first heard the song (and I don’t even know Japanese).”

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One fry to rule them all, and it can be yours for $93 via Yahoo! Japan Auctions

For a while it seemed that things had quieted down over at Japan’s largest online auction site, Yahoo! Japan Auctions. Back in the day one used to be able to buy anything from idols to 1,000 NES systems (at once) to the planet Earth.

However, recently there has just been a bunch of stuff like clothes and furniture to be had, and what fun is that? Thankfully, someone has brought the crazy back by auctioning off a truly rare item.

It’s a McDonald’s french fry in the shape of the number one and bidding starts at 10,000 yen (US$93).

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How to properly wrap a ninja hood – Now available in English!

Every once in a while we at RocketNews24 like to bring you some instructional pieces on how to perform traditional Japanese practices such as drinking green tea, eating sushi, butchering a wild boar and seppuku. However, even with handy instructions some of these practices require rigid discipline and considerable practice. Interestingly enough, we get the fewest complaints of failure from the seppuku piece, but the ones we do get seemed to be the most angry.

This time however, we have a traditional Japanese guide that not only is easy to perform but is perfect for Halloween, which is fast approaching. So get ready to learn how to properly wrap a ninja hood around your head!

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Give your pancakes a major flavor boost with one secret ingredient: fermented soybeans

The humble pancake is a beloved food for both its deliciousness and how easy it is to make. It’s also a highly versatile food, suitable for either a sweet snack with powdered sugar, strawberries and syrup, or a savory dish served with chicken and lettuce.

Now, there appears to be a rumor among pancake aficionados in Japan that with one simple addition to the pancake mix it is possible to boost the flavor level to that of a luxury hotel or restaurant. That ingredient is none other than the typical Japanese seasoning made from fermented soybeans: miso.

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New UFO caught on tape at Hong Kong protest may spell the end of UFO videos as we know them

As protesters in Hong Kong continue fighting to have a thin veil of “democracy” offered by the mainland Chinese government replaced by a slightly better veil enjoyed by other countries around the world, another story has emerged.

It appears that a UFO has been caught on tape hovering above the massive demonstration. Sure, we’ve seen videos of mysterious moving lights in the sky before, but this one may really change the way we look at UFO videos from here on out.

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Survey ranks Japan’s most and least welcoming restaurants of 2014

The reputation of Japanese customer service speaks for itself, but among the various businesses in the country certain establishments stand out even more for making patrons feel at home. Recently, President Magazine conducted a survey of over 1,000 men and women to find out which eating and drinking establishments made this grade.

Restaurants are often ranked in terms of delicious food, variety, and value, but this time we’re going to see which eateries people feel most comfortable going into and which ones have all the charm and ambiance of a prison chow hall.

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Funasshi’s unofficial mascot Satosshi grabs a pear burger and risks getting beaten up

Those familiar with Japanese pop culture have probably come across the jiggly pear mascot Funasshi, and those living in Japan probably can’t escape his image on TV, T-shirts, and tea. The unofficial mascot of Funabashi City had a grassroots rise to fame which was very unique in the world of mascots and stands as an inspiration to many.

Our very own Mr. Sato stands as one of those inspired by the giant dancing fruit, and decided to emulate Funasshi’s success by becoming a self-starting mascot himself. Of course, what better thing to represent than Funasshi himself! So by donning yellow make-up and leotards, he transforms into Satosshi, the unofficial mascot of Funabashi’s unofficial mascot Funasshi.

First stop on his road to riches is Funabashi City where the legendary “Funasshi Burger” topped with a slice of pear is said reside. There couldn’t be a better place to get some exposure.

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Maruyama Zoo tries to mate two spotted hyenas for four years, recently learns both are males

Maruyama Zoo in Sapporo, Hokkaido was the scene of awkwardness on 26 September when it was learned that two spotted hyenas slated for making babies were actually both males. At first this might seem like a major oversight of really basic biology, but in the unique case of the spotted hyena it’s actually fairly understandable.

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We try Riedel’s glass which unleashes the true flavor potential of Coca Cola

Coca Cola is such a popular brand that it seems unnecessary to even have to explain the taste. Love it or hate it, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who’s never tried it. But how many of us have experienced the true essence of Coca Cola’s flavor and aroma?

Apparently, Coca Cola is like our brains in that we only make use of a faction of its true worth. By drinking it out of ordinary plastic cups, bottles made of ice, or gutters, precious flavor is squandered leaving you with a substandard product.

Enter premium wine glass maker Riedel and their glass designed to heighten the Coca Cola experience to new levels. We sent our resident Cokehead Mr. Sato down to the Japanese release of the Coca Cola + Riedel glass for a taste test.

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Geographical Survey Institute posts 184 images of Mount Ontake eruption online

Near the top of Japan’s Mount Ontake, whose recent eruption is thought to have claimed 36 lives, rescue teams have been facing setbacks due to the dangerous terrain including flying rocks and poisonous fumes. Around the same time, the Japanese Geographical Survey Institute (GSI) has posted nearly 200 photos of the initial eruption online from 360 degrees around it.

By overlaying the photos on a precise topographical map they hope the data can be valuable to teams by helping them understand the behavior of the plume and conditions all over the area. These photos are available for anyone to see by going to the GSI website, but perhaps its some of the videos posted from the scene online that give a better sense of the disaster.

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Akira’s Katsuhiro Otomo to design giant mural featuring cyborg fish for Tohoku’s Sendai Airport

With works like Domu and Akira to his name, screenwriter and manga-ka Katsuhiro Otomo is universally well-known and respected. He is, however, not exactly the most prolific artist in the world, often leaving fans waiting for years on end for his next project or collaboration.

So although we’re thrilled to announce his next work will in fact be completed by March of next year, you should know that it’s going to take a little traveling to get a good look at it. You see, the currently untitled Otomo public art piece will hang in all of its 24-square-meter (258 sq ft) glory in the lobby of the terminal building of Tohoku’s Sendai Airport.

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Online “Population Decrease Map” of Japan paints a bleak, womanless future for the country

There has been a lot of discussion over the shifting demographics in Japan with the average age steadily rising and birthrate slipping year by year. These changes leave people wondering what will happen in the decades to come.

The Nihon Keizai Shimbun website posted an interactive map of Japan which provides among other information the changes in the female population in Japan 26 years into the future. If you can’t tell by the scorched Earth color-coding used above, it doesn’t bode well for the country. In fact, it’s causing some analysts to predict the “annihilation” of 896 municipalities (a little over half of them) by 2040 due to depopulation.

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Kirin promotes new alcohol by filming rural people with pigeon-shaped drones… because they can

Japanese brewery Kirin unveiled a new campaign for their Off White brand of imitation beer products known as happoshu. To help promote their cheaper beer substitute, Kirin will be dispatching six drones painted like pigeons to fly around and record the people of Taketa City in Oita Prefecture.

We can’t promise you we’ll succeed but we’re sure as heck going to try and find a link between drones, a rural community, and an alcoholic beverage produced to take advantage of a tax loophole.

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