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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 130)

Enjoy some Shan cuisine with a side order of caterpillars at Tokyo’s Nong Inlay restaurant

Recent studies have been suggesting that the human race would be far better off adopting an insect diet in order to preserve the environment. However, anytime we see a culture who partakes in edible insects they always look incredibly unappetizing.

Why is insect the one food that people refuse to cut up when eating? When I order a salad the restaurant doesn’t toss a head of lettuce on my table, and yet order a plate of crickets and it’d be a miracle if they even pull the antennae off before serving.

Still, if mass insect consumption is on the horizon and chefs refuse to make them not look like insects while eating, we’re going to have to get used to it. That’s exactly why a couple of our writers, Felix Sayaka and Ikuko Kawamura went down to Nong Inlay in Shinjuku to try out some caterpillars along with some other dishes out of the Shan State of Myanmar.

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Mr. Sato goes discount women’s clothes shopping and discovers a shocking secret

One day, while Mr. Sato was off-duty, he was doing some shopping around Nakano Broadway in Tokyo. This shopping plaza is sometimes called a “mecca of subculture” for its various stores peddling old books and figures. Of course, Nakano Broadway has many other shops including grocery and household item stores.

In particular, the first floor is filled with women’s clothing shops selling items at rock-bottom prices. On a complete whim Mr. Sato steered into one shop boasting every item for only 575 yen (US$5.60). As if guided by a mysterious force, Mr. Sato entered this store. Little did he know that he was being guided… by the god of rock.

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Enjoy the serenity of Fumikiri Temple, but don’t get hit by a train while doing so

There are thousands of Buddhist temples dotting the landscape in Japan, and as a result some of them end up in unique locations. One such temple is Henjoin in Yokohama City, Kanagawa Prefecture.

You’re welcome to visit any time but just be careful not to get hit by the Airport Express out of Sengakuji Station that passes right through its entrance. This and many other trains zoom across the temple precincts on a regular basis as they travel along the Keikyo Main Line.

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It’s that time of year again; when people in Japan make eggplant tanks

For many parts of Japan, this week is the Obon season. This is the time when several generations of family members all come together in one house for a visit. Luckily for the hosts, the vast majority of these relatives are ghosts so don’t take up a lot of space.

But even though they’re ghosts it’d be rude not to lay out some food for them, and so it’s not uncommon to place some snacks or beverages on graves or family altars in the home. Among these you might find shoryo uma, little animals made of cucumber and eggplant meant symbolize animals which carry the spirits to and from the otherworld.

Traditionally these tiny animals are made by jabbing four sticks into the vegetable for legs. The result is quaint but kind of looks like something I’d slap together for my third grade art project so I could get back to playing Dragon Warrior – hardly something fit for the people who paved the way for your existence to ride in on! As such some people in Japan have begun pimping their shoryo uma to make sure their ancestors’ rides are safe, comfy, and in some cases kind of epic.

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Scandal in North Korea after Kim Jong-un makes mildly self-deprecating remark

Every nation’s leader has to face one sooner or later and North Korea’s is no different. The DPRK was rocked recently by a scandal involving their Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un when a report came out that he once admitted he was “kind of boring” while visiting orphans at a hospital.

Although various rumors about Kim have circulated in other countries before, this would be the first time we know of that North Korea’s tightly controlled media will have reported a negative comment about him. Some fear this is only the beginning; further compliment-fishing remarks may come next such as,“Is that another grey hair?” or “You’re so lucky! Anytime I eat chocolate it goes right to my butt.” In great enough numbers these little utterances may seriously endanger his carefully engineered image of infallibility.

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This Japanese pork is now being sold with its very own sexy manga series: The Four Men of Pigs

Usually when I think of pork, I think of a delicious salty-yet-sweet meat that will one day lead to my first and third heart attacks. I never really took the time to think about the elegant back story that goes on around the slaughterhouses… Excuse me, how gauche; abattoirs of Japan.

Luckily, Japan’s Silky Pork is bringing all the drama and intrigue of the pork product industry to the forefront in a sexy new online manga series. Titled Four Men of Pigs: The Silky Porco Story, it’s kind of like popular soap Dynasty, only with pork, the legendary Pig of Happiness, and a discernible lack of any female characters.

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Gangnam Style tops Billboard chart again in 2014, continues to toy with PSY’s emotions

It was back in the summer of 2012 when “Gangnam Style” was released. Thanks in part to YouTube, the single transformed South Korean rapper PSY into a worldwide pop phenomenon. But nothing lasts forever, and although it had a remarkably good run on the charts, general interest in the mega-hit gradually waned.

Since then, PSY has been hard at work coming up with other singles such as “Gentleman” and “Hangover”, but neither have captivated the public’s interest to the same degree. It’s a hard degree to surpass, however, as in just the past week, “Gangnam Style” reached number one again on the Billboard charts. This surely comes as bittersweet news to PSY who by now has got to be completely burnt out on performing that song over and over… and over again.

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Two men die in apparently separate suicides after jumping in front of the same train

Komabatodamae Station was the scene of a bizarre suicide yesterday as two men who seemingly had nothing to do with each other took their own lives by leaping in front of the same train.

At around noon on 11 August, an express train struck and killed the men after they jumped into its path about 20 meters apart.

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Check your doors: Japan’s most popular door locks disabled by pink ribbons

If you live in Japan chances are you have one of these things pictured above attached to your front door. These U-shaped door latches provide an extra lock to your door but also allow you to prop it open to let a cool breeze through your home on a sweltering summer day.

Many Japanese people while sleeping or napping rely on these simple devices to safely crack their doors for comfort, but probably shouldn’t. As we will soon show you, these latches are actually about as secure as a stick of warm butter. In fact, in a demonstration video uploaded to YouTube, you’ll see that even the most amateur of criminals can bypass them in seconds.

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Twitter user shows us how to make your own pet Japanese giant hornet

It’s summer again in Japan which means it’s time for nature’s little nightmares to come pay us a visit. I’m talking of course about the Japanese giant hornet (ōsuzumebachi) a four-by-six-centimeter (1.5 x 2.4 inch) poisonous flying insect which kills a handful of people every year and has a generally bad demeanor.

This is great news for those who enjoy making alcohol out of them, and bad news for those who have encountered them before and probably still require counseling. However, this year, one Twitter using bug enthusiast is showing us to stop worrying and love the deadly bugs by making one their own pet on a string.

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Yo-Kai Watches selling out everywhere, resourceful kids and parents make their own instead

Japan doesn’t have the hectic Christmas shopping season of adults head-locking and price-gouging each other for the season’s hot toy. Still, every once in a while an item gets so huge that a sudden rush can break out at any time of the year.

This time it’s Yo-Kai Watches from the manga/game/anime series Yo-Kai Watch that are flying off the shelves. These watches don’t tell time unless it just happens to be 2:53 when you look at them, but that isn’t stopping people from lining up by the hundreds and shops from charging exorbitant prices for one. However, when the going gets tough, the tough get creative and fashion their own Yo-Kai Watches out of whatever is available.

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Hello Kitty producers appear to be losing touch with reality

For around four decades Sanrio has been pumping out character merchandise at an increasing rate. Headlined by Japanese kawaii icon Hello Kitty, they boast hundreds of characters, some of which thrive and others that just kind of hang around.

Indeed, the company has never faltered in their mission to continuously create cuteness for our amusement and expendable cash. However, to do so must require long hours at the drawing table penciling in adorable black pupils in just the right proportion to fit the squishiest round face you ever gosh darned seen.

In doing so they seemed to have forgotten what an actual human head looks like adrift in their ocean of chubby puppies and fruit-eared kitties. That has to be the only reason to explain this cardboard cutout posted on Twitter recently in which no person’s face could possibly fit properly.

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Finally guys can get the support they need at night with the Floral Goodnight Bra

Men’s undergarments that were traditionally used by women such as bras shouldn’t be shocking news if you’re a regular reader of this site. However, there appear to be many still surprised by them according to the recent popularity of the Frills & Ribbons Men’s T-Back Shorts on Twitter in Japan.

While we were looking into this particular pair of trending lacy lavender thongs with ribbons for guys, we found something even better. It’s called the Floral Goodnight Bra (Kahei Oyasumi Bra) and gives men the much-needed support as they sleep resulting round-the-clock chest protection.

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Yamaha releases engine-to-Japanese translation app, we peer into the minds of celebrity cars

Translation apps are very popular for people visiting foreign lands. With only internet access and a tap of the finger you can convey “I swallowed a june bug” in any number of languages like Spanish (Me tragué un error junio) and Hatian Creole (Mwen vale yon ensèk mwa Jen). I’m pretty sure those are both wrong, but still better than I could do by myself with no knowledge of either language.

Now Yamaha has brought the translation app beyond the boundaries of humanity and into the realm of the machine with their engine revving translation app, RevTranslator. As the name suggests, this app will listen to an engine and deliver its message in Japanese.

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Kyoto man arrested after calling victim to apologize for assault

On 4 June at around 11pm bridal store employee, Eisuke Himoto, allegedly approached a 30-year-old woman on her way home from her part-time job. According to police, he called out to her asking, “Why don’t we get a drink?” to which the woman tried to run away.

Most men at this point would consider attempted escape as a sign that a woman is not into them. Himoto, on the other hand, allegedly felt this had become the perfect opportunity to begin hugging and kissing the woman from behind.

Luckily, Himoto’s same utter lack of judgment would eventually lead to his speedy arrest shortly after.

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Women’s sumo: slightly less traditional, but maybe even more fun than the original

Although Japan has several martial arts that could claim to be national sports, few are quite as distinctive as sumo. With its massive yet lightning-fast athletes who must live a strict and traditional lifestyle, sumo continues to be an attractive sport to watch.

However, how many people out there knew that there is also a women’s sumo federation? Almost certainly not as many as there ought to be, because women’s sumo is entertaining on a few different levels, as we’re about to see in this video from the 1st International Women’s Sumo Tournament.

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Wakayama man arrested for attaching underwear to cars of women he doesn’t know

It tends to be the smaller crimes that are the most baffling to understand. Fraud, murder, or theft all tend to come about from a certain human ambition for money or power. However, when a bunch of daikons go missing, how could you possibly deduce it was a middle school girl who enjoys the sounds of the radishes getting run over by cars?

In the same vein we have one arrest in Wakayama Prefecture in which a man stands accused of violating the obscene behavior clause of the prefecture’s nuisance prevention order. So, slap on your detective caps and have fun trying to come up with a motive for the case of “The Guy Who Stuck Women’s Underwear to Unknown Women’s Cars.”

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Jerome Le Banner walks old lady across the street even though it would’ve been easier to toss her

Jerome Le Banner is one of K-1’s most prominent fighters. The 190cm (6’3″) and 120kg (265lbs) mountain of muscle is intimidating looking to say the least. With nicknames such as Hyper Battle Cyborg, you might expect him to pump ice water through his veins as he knocks out opponents in pursuit of numerous kickboxing titles.

However, while training in Japan the fighter recently won the hearts of Japanese people everywhere when he showed great compassion by tenderly holding the hand of an elderly woman as he helped her cross the road.

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Chinese man pulls off best Cthulhu impersonation ever with live snakes in his sinuses

Liu Yuanfei is a Chinese man in his 50s. If he was your neighbor, you might be surprised enough at how young he looks for his age. However, he has an even more shocking talent that in spite of his youthful looks makes you wonder how he managed to live even this long.

Liu Yuanfei also goes by the name “Shewang” or Snake King due to his unnerving ability to “become one” with snakes by allowing them to slither through his various orifices. Be warned: the following video is not recommended for those squeamish about snakes, and especially for those uncomfortable with the idea of snakes crawling up your nose and out of your mouth…

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Darth Vader to Japanese dictionary released, selling like Tusken bread

In Japan, learning English is a valuable tool in the business world. Being able to negotiate deals and win customers overseas would make you an attractive asset to any corporation. To truly get ahead, however, you’re going to want to speak like a titan of industry, and there’s perhaps no better titan to emulate than Darth Vader.

No one has ever moved up the corporate ladder faster, and talk about falling upwards! Darth Vader fell limbless into a pit of lava and landed right in a cushy gig as Lord of the Galactic Empire. Clearly this is a guy who gets what he wants.

Now Japanese and English learners can acquire his galaxy controlling gift of gab with the new Star Wars dictionary and phrase book. Let’s take a look at some sample pages.

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