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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 126)

11-year-old now youngest artist to join Dokuritsu Exhibition, teaches us to look on the dark side

One of the words for art in Japanese is bijutsu which contains the kanji character for “beauty” (美). That’s not to say that art is limited to images of beauty alone, however. Sometimes images considered superficially unpleasant can be seen as beautiful works as well. They have the power to push back the darkness of taboos and help us to overcome our own inhibiting fears and prejudices.

Those are pretty heavy concepts for sixth-grader Chifu Onishi, but she seems to have already excelled at them through her celebrated artwork such as Tsuki Ni Asobu (Play on the Moon) which was chosen as a part of the 82nd annual Dokuritsu Exhibition, an annual event that has featured some of Japan’s greatest artists in the past. This acknowledgement also earns the 11-year-old the recognition of being the youngest artist to ever take part.

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Police called in for civet disturbance in Tokyo

Walking down the street in Tokyo, you never know what you might bump into, especially if you happened to have been around Aoyama Itchome Station in Minato Ward on 14 November. During the afternoon, a masked palm civet was seen darting around the streets by several witnesses.

The masked palm civet was connected to the SARS outbreak about a decade ago and unleashes an anal spray when threatened. But that didn’t stop passers-by from trying to get the best photos for their Twitter feeds… Not at all.

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Parody news announces “smart rice cooker” by KDDI, KDDI goes ahead and begins designing it

On 13 November, a tweet went out from Kyoko Shimbun which read “AAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Generally, such single-letter interjections don’t yield much of a response, but in this case they got over 400 retweets.

That’s because on this day, Kyoko Shimbun which translates to “Fabricated News” learnt that their fictional Infojar, a next-gen rice cooker with several smartphone capabilities, was in the research and development phase by the very company they were spoofing at the time, KDDI.

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Japan Post to give stamps cute animal makeovers including chipmunks, foxes, and an old man

Earlier this year as the Japanese government enacted a sales tax hike, the cost of mailing a letter also increased. As a result a new 2 yen stamp had to be issued to fill the price hike, and in an effort to quell public anger, Japan Post put a picture of a cute fluffy bunny on it. Surely that’d do the trick, right?

Of course it did! In Japan, cuteness is a rock-solid commodity and the bunny stamp was a huge success. It was so popular that people came out to buy some even though they had no mail to send. And so, Japan Post set a mandate to make all of their stamps pretty before fiscal 2015.

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The originator of the strawberry daifuku, Tamaya continues to be a step ahead of competition

Daifuku is a widely popular type of Japanese confection consisting mainly of an outer layer of mochi (gelatinous rice paste) with an anko (sweet bean paste) filling. The result is a mildly sweet treat with a comfortably smooth texture.

There are many variations of daifuku including ichigo daifuku containing a whole strawberry inside of the mochi and anko, which have become hugely popular all around Japan. However, do you know where this trend started?

Our hungry reporter Mr. Sato does, and he went down to the first store ever to sell ichigo daifuku, Tamaya, to try their wares himself. He found that not only are they the original, but they may just make best ichigo daifuku in all of Japan.

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Michael Jackson reincarnate found in rural China, moonwalks right into our hearts 【Video】

An internet star was born yet again recently, this time surfacing in the deep south of China. As the legend goes, a traveler one day stumbled upon a farmer dancing most unusually amongst the lush greenery of the countryside and whipped out his camera to capture the scene.

After hitting the internet in China, the mysterious dancer was quickly crowned “The King of Farmers”. His incredibly tight moves, which mimic the King of Pop’s repertoire almost perfectly, drew acclaim from around the country, and his fame has only continued to grow since with a YouTube video earning him respect from all corners of the world.

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Japanese viewers help the CSI: NY team unravel a murder… With basic vocabulary… YEEEAAAAAHHHH!

We now join CSI: New York Season 8, Episode 17: Unwrapped already in progress…

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes is busy trying to piece together fragments of a porcelain figure recovered by detectives Messer and Flack. With any luck this figure may be a clue to the mysterious murder of Kelvin Moore, a successful accountant who was trying to give back to his community.

When the figure is complete they find it’s in the shape of a cat. Not only that, it has a strange symbol on the bottom that no one on their team nor all of their technology can appear to decipher.

It’s at this point that viewers in Japan start screaming at their TVs, “It’s NEKO ya dummies!”

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This rice omelet, grilled eel, oden, and fried pork are actually cakes! We try them all

We previously ran an article about Maplies, a bakery in Shinjuku that excels in the art of making cake look exactly like Chinese food, namely gyoza, ramen (salt or soy sauce), and tenshindon.

About a year has past since then and our reporter Mr. Sato had a sudden hankering for some cake that looked like egg, crab meat, and rice. He headed down to Maplies only to be shocked at what he found. The bakery had added a whole new assortment of cakes that look exactly like other foods!

Needless to say he bought one of each and brought them back to the office for a taste of pure confusion.

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We try some Turkish ice cream from Family Mart before it’s completely sold out

Turkish restaurants can be found here and there around Japan and if you’re lucky you might come across one that sells dondurma. This Turkish take on ice cream is usually offered out of the store front and not only provides a delicious treat but an entertaining spectacle as well.

Vendors can be seen stretching their ice cream to lengths of around a meter before serving and will often perform a little psych-out by pulling it back out of your hands with their big stick before finally handing it over.

Aside from the fun, dondurma is deadly delicious as well. Of course there’s the taste which puts it in league with other ice creams, but it has a unique texture that elevates it among the best. So, when Japanese convenience store chain Family Mart released a limited edition Turkish Style Ice Cream on 4 November we wanted in on the action. Apparently so did everyone else though, as supplies were nearly out only a few days after release.

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Examining 10 of Japan’s unwritten social rules, from cheese to paid holidays

By nature, humans can’t help constructing rules to live by even in the most innocuous situations like choosing the passenger seat of a car (rock-paper-scissors: best of three). Without any official governing body over how many times you should let a phone ring before hanging up (seven), we are left to establish unwritten social rules naturally agreed upon and often followed to the letter.

A survey by MyNavi recently asked Japanese people which of these tacit rules should be called into question. As we will soon see, although these laws are mysterious in their origin, many of them tend to be quite practical and worth sticking to.

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Japanese Amazon reviewer tells us why Alien vs Avatar is awesome and Dark Knight sucks

Aside from the fact that they still exist in large numbers, one of the interesting things about video stores in Japan is the range of titles they offer in the new release section. Perusing them, you might find future Oscar candidate or big budget Marvel production sharing the exact same shelf space as the latest made-for-cable offering that would make Sharknado look like Fellini.

However, sometimes films get a little too close to their apparent sources of inspiration which can lead to confusion among Japanese people. One such movie the misleadingly titled Alien vs Avatar. It’s a film title that has led netizens to question “Hey, aren’t they both aliens?” While universally panned by all who have seen it, one online reviewer in Japan thought it was particularly great… copyright issues aside.

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Classy pipes, intestines, and a taste of the past all can be yours from Asakusa vending machines

If you ever visit Tokyo, the district of Asakusa is a worthwhile spot to wander around in. It has a healthy mix of tradition, entertainment, food, and shopping that should please anyone looking  for a small but all-encompassing Japanese experience.

But there’s one other unique feature that Asakusa has and it’s one that’s surprising even the most entrenched Tokyo residents. Apparently, Asakusa is home to an enormous selection of wildly unusual vending machines. And coming from a land positively peppered with automatic vendors, that’s saying a lot.

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Akita judge rules man’s drunk driving somewhat justifiable, gives him his job back

Some people see things in black and white while others tend to judge each incident as a unique situation with its own parameters of right and wrong.

Take drunk driving for example. There are many who would say that under any circumstance getting behind the wheel of an automobile with significant levels of alcohol in the system deserves punishment. And then there are some that say there may be exceptions to the rule.

Luckily for some government workers who got picked up by police for drunk driving, more than a few district court judges appear to belong to the latter camp.

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Woman’s $71,000 breast enlargement treatment leaves her with “fluffy” chest hair and anger

For a woman, breasts can be a double-edged sword. On one side they stand as a symbol of femininity, but on the other they can be the source of anxiety and self-consciousness.

Each woman has her own way of living with her breasts, be it accepting them for how they are or searching for ways to improve them. To each her own we say, but if you do choose some kind of augmentation procedure, please take the proper precautions and research it thoroughly.

But don’t take our word for it. We just happen to have a cautionary tale to illustrate this point. So sit back and enjoy: The tale of the woman who went in for larger breasts but instead got a bunch of pillowy black chest hair.

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Chinese couple’s suicide attempt leads to serious injury, criminal charges, and $24,000 in damages

It’s hard to imagine the thought process of people contemplating suicide, which makes it equally hard to convince someone not to once they become determined to do so.

Obviously there are many reasons why committing suicide would be the wrong choice in any situation, but here’s a coldly practical one: The odds are against you succeeding. According to the Center for Disease Control, for every one successful suicide attempt, there are twenty-five that fail. While that might seem like an encouraging statistic, there are still the after-effects to those who live on. For example, an incident that unfolded in China involving a couple looking to end it all serves as a reminder that things can get much, much worse.

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Butter Crisis ’14: Supermarkets nationwide apologize for empty shelves, cakes threatened

For months now a crisis has been brewing in the dairy industries of Japan. However, like the gooey sweetness of a melting pat of butter penetrating the crevices of a piece of toast, the effects have only recently begun to seep into the general population. We’re still only in the early stages though and things are bound to get worse before they get better.

Some readers who live in Japan may have noticed that the cost of butter has been significantly higher in recent months. In other cases shelves have gone empty and purchases are limited to one per person.

Now the writing is smeared on the wall: Japan is running out of butter… and fast.

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Mononome gives candy jars personalities, breathes life into any inanimate object

Some of you may remember Neurowear as the company who made Necomimi, the robotic cat ears that you can control with brainwaves, and their follow up projects Shippo (mind controlled robot tail) and Mico (mind controlled music player).

This time, however, Neurowear won’t be reading our brain waves but will instead try to give some to your fridge or sofa. The latest project called Mononome works with your smartphone to deepen your relationship with a household item of your choice by adding a touch of humanity to it.

Mononome is currently on display for Tokyo Designers Week from 25 October to 3 November. We caught up with Neurowear’s Kana Nakano during the exhibition to learn more about it.

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Fruity wieners spotted in Japan’s Tochigi Prefecture! Available in “lemon” and “strawberry milk” flavors

The heartland of Japan is certainly becoming the envy of the nation with their recent offerings of unusual foods. First the crunchy sweet mushrooms of Chubu region turned heads on Twitter. Now out of Tochigi Prefecture, emerges fruit-flavored hotdogs!

What chemical witchcraft went into making these sticks of pork(?) colored and flavored like lemon and strawberry milk is a mystery, but they do look intriguing, and dare I say delicious?

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Panasonic may change the world with upcoming product…SAND!

When you think of the multinational electronics producer Panasonic, “sand” probably doesn’t immediately come to mind. However, if a new product they are looking to release meets its full potential, this new kind of sand may completely change the face of the Earth as we know it.

The picture above is not Panasonic sand, but you wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at it anyways. Actually even if you examine their grains of soil under a microscope you wouldn’t see a difference. So let’s start by looking at what makes this dirt so special and how it could help everyone in one way or another.

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Take a tour of video game history and violin majesty with Teppei Okada

The Super Mario Bros. theme song has got to be among the most covered melodies online. From guitars to ancient Chinese shengs, it’s hard for anyone to not want to knock out those opening notes: d-do do d-do DO do.

So with all the videos of people playing the song online, it’s hard to stand out. Hard unless you’re Teppei Okada (a.k.a. Teppei Sensei) of Fukuoka Prefecture. This guy not only does a subtly beautiful rendition of the classic platformer’s background music, but he recreates the sound effects of the game such as collecting coins and breaking blocks.

And Mario is only the tip of the video game iceberg for Teppei Sensei. His skills reach out to a variety of titles on generations of Nintendo consoles and beyond.

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