Steven Simonitch

Writer / Translator

Though a native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Steven currently resides in Nagano, Japan, where he is known by the old lady at the supermarket as "the white guy who always buys 2 packs of natto." Having finished a 2 year stint teaching English with the JET program, Steven now spends his days writing silly things about Japan while vainly insisting to his parents that he's a "journalist" working for an established "newspaper."

Aside from writing banal stories about hot Asian women and cheeseburgers, Steven is also working with dojin circle Creative Freaks to localize their fitness app/ Japanese dating sim series, Burn your fat with me!! (known as Nensho! in Japan).

All Stories by Steven

And Now For Chinese Bikini Models in the Snow

You can tell the models in the pictures in the gallery below are professionals. Not because they’re posing outside in -20°C (-4°F) weather while wearing bikinis, but because they manage to smile while doing it.

Read More

McDonald’s Turned into Maid Cafe in Taiwan

While McDonald’s Japan has been known to run some customer-pleasing promotions in the past, no amount of free hamburgers can top the stunt performed by the young female crew of one Taiwanese McDonald’s, who dressed up in pink maid outfits on New Year’s Eve.

Read More

Japanese Running of the Nerds, or: Comic Market 83, Day 1

Never underestimate the physical prowess of a nerd on the hunt.

Twice a year the first train of the day bound for Kokusai-tenjijo Station is packed to capacity with Japanese otaku (nerds) eager to be the first ones in line for the opening day of Comic Market, or “Comiket”, Japan’s largest comic convention held at the Tokyo Big Sight exhibition center every summer and winter.

You would think that just managing to get on the first train would be enough, but the moment the doors open the peaceful morning silence is broken as everyone makes a mad dash to get out of the station and up to the front of the line.  It happens every time, and this year’s winter Comiket, being held December 29-31, is no exception.

While most attendees can think of little other than beating the crowd, a few derive greater enjoyment from watching the mad scramble rather than participating in it. And now, thanks to YouTube, you can to!

Read More

We Trick Five Beautiful Girls Into Drinking Feces Wine, “It has a refined and elegant flavor”

Ttongsul, or “feces wine”, is a traditional Korean beverage made from soaking human feces and medicinal herbs in soju alcohol for three to four months until it ferments.

Regular readers of our site may know that we managed to acquire two bottles of ttongsul earlier this year. This may have been a bit too much. While ttongsul doesn’t necessarily taste bad, it’s still poo and you don’t really feel inclined to knock it back like your nightly glass of scotch.

So here we are with several liters of feces wine that no one in the office wants to drink, the problem being that everyone knows what the stuff is made from. What does RocketNews24 do? Find five cute Japanese girls who have never heard of ttongsul, have them drink it for us, and then tell them there’s human feces in it after, or course!

Read More

Can ‘Make Me Asian’ App Make Japanese People Look Asian Too? We Investigate

Recently a lot of Asian Americans are getting their pantsu in a bunch about an Android app called “Make Me Asian” that allows users to slant their eyes, yellow their skin and add other stereotypical Asian features to their photos.

Critics say the app uses dated and racist stereotypes that marginalize and humiliate Asian Americans. There is even an online petition asking Google to remove the app, which has nearly 3,000 signatures as of December 28.

Alright, so the Asian American community is clearly offended, but what do Asian Asians think of this app?

Well, they think it’s pretty fun, actually.

Read More

Human-Powered Roller Coaster and Other Thrilling Attractions Await at Japan Bicycle Theme Park

The Gunma Cycle Sports Center in Japan may be the most eco-friendly amusement park in the world. As you may be able to guess from the name, every attraction in the park, from the roller coaster to the “steam” locomotive, is human-powered.  

Read More

Santa Biker Gang Spotted in Tokyo

Our reporter was walking through downtown Tokyo on Christmas Eve (alone, of course) when suddenly from behind a large posse of Santas on motorcycles came riding up from behind, filling the streets with the sound of roaring engines and holiday cheer.

Read More

Armed Forces of Ukraine Holds Beauty Pageant for Soldiers

Ukraine is known for being home to some of the most beautiful women in the world, and also these two.

It seems the gene pool is so refined in Ukraine that even their soldiers and gorgeous, and the military must know it because every year they hold the “Miss Trooper” contest, a beauty pageant to determine the most stunning soldier female soldier in the Ukraine army.

Read More

McDonald’s Guarantees Your Order in 60 Seconds or You Get a Free Burger, Employs Actual Hourglass

From January 4 to January 31, McDonald’s Japan will run a marketing campaign they’re calling “Enjoy! 60 Second Service”, where customers who are made to wait any more than a minute for their order during the hours of 11:00 AM to 2:00 PM will receive a coupon for a free McDonald’s burger of their choice. 

Even if staff are able to prepare the order within a minute, all customers who visit during the 4-hour time frame will receive a coupon for a free small-size ‘Premium Roast Coffee’.

To prove that the campaign isn’t all talk and no substance, staff at each of the 3,300 participating McDonald’s restaurants will be required to flip over an hourglass measuring one minute each time an order is placed.

Read More

This 7-Year-Old Japanese Girl Can Dance Better Than You

Well it looks like the end of the world theory based on the prophecy of civilization that couldn’t predict its own demise turned out to be bunk. What better way to celebrate than with adorable videos of a 7-year-old Japanese girl dancing in public?

Read More

Japanese YouTubers Giving Away Cute Sandwich Cutters Worldwide in Creative Collaboration

One of the the things people find most charming about food in Japan is how creative the presentation can be. From adorable panda rice balls to over the top bento lunchboxes, the Japanese have perfected the art of making food something that you can enjoy with both your eyes and your mouth.

If you’ve ever wanted to try your hand at food presentation à la Japan, six Japanese YouTube channels are holding a giveaway for a set of cute sandwich cutters, as well as introducing six creative ways to use them.

Read More

In Russia, Pressing “A” Button Makes Cat Jump 【Video】

We don’t know how they did it, but it seems the Russians have developed a technology that allows them to control cats with a Nintendo Entertainment System gamepad.

There’s really no other rational explanation for what’s going on in the video below.

Read More

Japan Sets Guinness Record for Longest “Human Chair”

On October 28, more than 1,300 people gathered at a park in Onojo City, Fukuoka Prefecture, for one noble purpose: to sit on each other’s lap.

Read More

Man Burns Hole in Stomach After Consuming Chinese Death Soup

Some foods are so spicy that consuming them can leave the more intolerant of us with an upset stomach. It was once believed that eating lots of spicy food could even cause gastric ulcers—a break in the tissue lining of the stomach—but this has since been proven false, the credit stolen by a bacterium known as Helicobacter pylori. If you find yourself retching with pain after lunch at an Indian food buffet, you’ve likely aggravated an existing condition and should probably have it checked out.

So as colorful as the expression is, eating spicy food can’t actually “burn a hole in your stomach”. At least, it shouldn’t be able to, which is why doctors at a hospital in Wuhan, China, were scratching their heads when a 26-year-old man with no history of gastrointestinal disorders was brought in after eating soup so spicy that it opened a hole in the wall of his stomach.

Read More

Japanese Winter Luxury at its Finest: The Kotatsu Train

Nothing says winter in Japan like the kotatsu, a low wooden table frame covered by a heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits. Built in underneath is a heat source, either electric or charcoal.

Similar to the image of a Western family sitting in front of the fireplace on Christmas Eve, the scene of a family huddled around the kotatsu, usually placed in front of the living room TV, eating mandarin oranges and watching New Year’s programming is what comes to most people’s minds when mentioning the winter holidays in Japan.

With this in mind, Sanriku Railway Co., which operates two lines along the beautiful Sanriku coast of Iwate Prefecture, Japan, is offering passengers the ultimate Japanese winter relaxation experience with their “Kotatsu Train” (Kotatsu Ressha), a special two-car train equipped with 12 kotatsu so you can enjoy the scenery pass by from the comfort of your own (simulated) living room.

Read More

  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
  5. 5
  6. 6
  7. 7
  8. ...
  9. 12