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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 137)

Sanrio 2015 mid-election polls show Hello Kitty losing to visual kei band by wide margin

Master Blaster
May 30, 2015
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From 10 May to 15 June voting is being held of the 30th annual Sanrio Character Ranking. This is where the company pits their vast library of cute characters such as Hello Kitty against each other in a popularity contest.

You can expect to see the top-ranking characters get the most exposure through merchandising and spokesperson deals for the rest of the year. And now with two weeks past and the preliminary results announced, many are surprised to see the fictional visual kei (think glam rock) group Shingan Crimsonz at the top of the list of 100 characters well ahead of cuteness stalwarts such as Hello Kitty and Little Twin Stars.

This has caused tremors in the cute character community with many suspecting that Japan’s homo-erotic fan fiction loving girls known as fujoshi may have formed a powerful voting bloc.

Japan’s “Underground Temple” now up for virtual touring in Google Street View

Master Blaster
May 27, 2015

Running underneath Kasukabe City, Saitama Prefecture, lies the Metropolitan Area Outer Underground Discharge Channel – a sprawling network of waterways as long as its name. Its 6.3 kilometers (3.9 miles) of tunnels are intended to divert flood water from area rivers.

Also, since the massive project was completed in 2009 its enormous columns and walls are in relatively pristine condition giving the place an almost magical atmosphere. As a result it’s earned the nickname of the “Underground Temple” and has been frequently used in movies and music videos.

Tours run regularly for free which you can join, or just take a peek right now from the comfort of your browser with Google Street View.

Washington Post writer catches heat for “dirty Korean beer” joke

Master Blaster
May 26, 2015

There’s a reason I don’t write for the Washington Post. Actually, there are about a thousand reasons, almost all of which pertain to my own ineptness. Another one these reasons is that I occasionally write some embarrassing joke that gets completely misunderstood and blows up in my face.

So, I can relate on some level to the Washington Post’s writer and Tokyo bureau chief Anna Fifield. Her tweet, which jokingly translated a customer request sign as “Don’t bring your dirty Korean beer in here,” has led to some considerably harsh feedback from Japanese Twitter users.

There’s something hiding beneath this mountain of ramen toppings, but it’s not ramen

Master Blaster
May 25, 2015

Ramen is pretty well-known around the world as a hearty soup of plentiful ingredients. Sure there are variations from country to country, but at the end of the day, it’s all just noodles and broth with the necessary toppings to add character.

At least that’s how it used to be, before one ramen restaurant felt bold enough to reinvent the wheel and take the “men” (as noodles are called in Japanese) out of ramen. But what did they put in place of the lovely noodles that traditionally define ramen?

McDonald’s Japan to return “free smiles” to menu

Master Blaster
May 23, 2015

In my more formative years I worked the counter at McDonald’s. It was an okay job for someone with no prior work experience and helped to support my SNES habit. However, the one thing I hated was when a customer approached the counter and would ask for a “free smile” because it was written on the menu.

It had gotten to the point that I could tell the look on a customer’s face before they even opened their mouth to ask for my worthless grin. And so, I’d give them that “oh you” smile as if I hadn’t heard the joke a thousand times before and a little bit of myself would die inside.

Now a whole new generation of Japanese youngsters will get to have that same experience as McDonald’s Japan announced the return of zero-yen smiles to their menus at all stores all day long.

You probably shouldn’t look at this optical illusion, it could have long-term effects

Master Blaster
May 21, 2015

Every once in a while we like to post an optical illusion that’s trending in Japan at the moment, and this time around we bring you the McCollough effect. However, this is one optical illusion you probably shouldn’t go through with.

Don’t get us wrong, we’re going to post the illusion for the sake of reporting on it, but you might want to consider some of our other wonderful articles instead. I read a lovely piece about sacred horses the other day.

The reason we are dissuading you from checking out this optical illusion is that its effect might not go away for quite some time. Studies have reported some after-effects last over three months. So last chance to turn back and check out our list of beautiful Japanese train stations instead.

No? Okay suit yourself and don’t say we didn’t warn you…because we’re still going to continue to warn you.

Teacher facing charges after swallowing class pet alive

Master Blaster
May 21, 2015

Regardless of the country you do it in, teaching can be a tough profession. Tasked with handling and helping to raise humanity’s most valuable resource, our educators must also put up with tight restrictions and even tighter budgets.

It’s a heavy burden and as a result not surprising when a teacher cracks under the stress every once in a while. I’m not saying that is what happened on the morning of 11 May in a classroom in South Korea, but it certainly seems like a plausible explanation of the case of the teacher who swallowed a live hamster in front of their class.

Lotteria continues to try making burgers out of noodles, this time they brought rice to the party

Master Blaster
May 18, 2015

Despite a rather weak track-record for its hamburgers with patties of noodles, fast-food chain Lotteria is back at it with the Moko Tanmen Burger. This time around they’ve also come up with the Moko Don Burger which uses a wad of rice as the patty. Good thing Dr. Atkins isn’t around to see this.

They say the definition of “insanity” is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results. We’re not sure what to call RocketNews24 reporter Mr. Sato then, because he is returning to Lotteria for a fourth time to try these noodley sandwiches in hopes of some redemption.

Panasonic develops data communication using an ordinary light and smartphone

Master Blaster
May 18, 2015

There are many ways that data is transferred these days, be it fiber optic cables, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, 4G-LTE, and a whole slew of other brand names and acronyms the meanings of which I don’t care to learn.

Now Panasonic has come up with a way to send and receive data that’s easy for everyone to understand: light. Actually it uses light emitting diodes (LED) to be exact, but that’s about as technical as this explanation needs to get, I promise.

Century-old brewery crafts soy sauce specifically for use on pudding

Master Blaster
May 15, 2015

Village Vanguard is a popular chain of novelty stores across Japan. There you can find all sorts of things from bird poop stickers to Resident Evil curry to wasabi toothpaste. As such, it’s easy to get desensitized to their range of items and lose the ability to be surprised with what they come out with next.

Or so we thought, until word came of a new product that will be sold there around the end of May. Purin Senyo Shoyu is a specially crafted soy sauce meant to be drizzled over a jiggly glob of pudding. You might wonder what pudding and soy sauce taste like together. The answer is surprisingly simple: it tastes like sea urchin.

Virtual reality gear Tesla Suit hopes to make gaming a lot more touchy-feely

Master Blaster
May 13, 2015

Video game technology continues to find ways to make things more interactive with the recent releases of VR headsets such as the Oculus Rift and Sony’s Project Morpheus. Still, even with those immersive improvements players aren’t getting a full sense of their virtual environments.

For example, playing a first-person shooter without the actual fear of feeling a bullet slam into your chest can never quite compare to a realistic experience. And even the richest game-world textures can’t match the real thing if you can’t touch them with your own two hands.

UK development team Tesla Studios (no connection to the cars) is aiming to fill those gaps between reality and virtual reality with the Tesla Suit; a full-body haptic feedback device allowing you to touch game environments and characters and let them touch you all over your body.

China’s toilet tech showing considerable signs of improvement

Master Blaster
May 12, 2015

Step by step China has been steadily gaining on Japan in various facets of life. The country has surpassed Japan to become the second biggest economy in the world and they are currently making strides in bullet train development and infrastructure.

But now a video from a Thai traveler gives us a glimpse at yet another way China is looking to overtake Japan, and it is one that may cut closest to the bone. We’re talking of course about fancy toilet technology.

Perovskite promises power-producing paint for pennies per pint

Master Blaster
May 8, 2015

Back in 2009, a research team from the University of Tokyo led by Professor Tsutomu Miyasaka found that a substance called perovskite had the potential to generate solar power. However, at the time it only had a very weak power conversion efficiency (PCE) of about four percent and would break down in just a few minutes.

Because of these sizable flaws, not could practical use could be made of perovskite and the discovery lay dormant for a few years. Then, after a Korean team managed to double the PCE in 2011, research into the material was reignited. Now as scientists around the world continue to work on it, the PCE has become well above 20 percent and comparable with the standard silicon-based solar panels that we see today.

With perovskite being drastically cheaper to produce, more flexible to use, and now as efficient as regular solar panels, could we be on the verge of a solar energy revolution?

Crayfish claw mistakenly eaten whole becomes huge pain in the ass

Master Blaster
May 7, 2015

On 17 April, a man whom the Chinese media is referring to as Zhang headed for the toilet to perform a crucial part of his morning routine. There would be no chance to catch up on the sports section of his paper this day, however.

During his bowel movement the man in his 40s experienced a severe pain in his anus. It wasn’t until the pain grew so intense that he could barely walk that Zhang decided to seek medical help.

And so begins a lesson on chewing your food properly.

Japan gets heartfelt message of thanks from the main bad guy in Commando

Master Blaster
May 5, 2015

Thirty years ago a landmark event in cinema took place when the movie Commando first hit the silver screen. It taught an entire generation to believe that a guy could have “Matrix” as a last name and that you should always kill the guys you like last…unless they get in your way.

The film also showcased the acting chops of several greats such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alyssa Milano, Dan Hedaya, and Rae Dawn Chong. But often overlooked is Australian actor Vernon Wells who played the role of Bennett, the Edmund to John Matrix’s Edgar.

Japan Post, IBM, and Apple to develop senior-friendly tablets

Master Blaster
May 5, 2015

On 30 April, a joint announcement was made by Apple, IBM and the nation’s private postal service Japan Post regarding a new project that aims to change the lives of Japan’s aging population.

The three companies are combining their expertise to develop a line of iPads with specialized apps for senior citizens. Designed by IBM in conjunction with elderly care services in the works by Japan Post, it is hoped that the tablet computers will help to reduce the burden on younger generations as they care for an increasing number of aged family members.

Squid ink toaster oven pizza released by Nippon Ham

Master Blaster
May 1, 2015

I’m sure we can all remember those happy childhood days when Mom would go into the kitchen to wrestle a squid. The sound of tentacles swishing through the air and muffled curse words could mean only one thing: Squid Ink Pizza for dinner!

But now, having grown up into the cold world of adulthood, that simple joy of Mom’s homemade squid ink pizza has fallen by the wayside. Luckily, Nippon Ham has stepped in to help take us back to those days with their new Squid Ink Pizza.

Could a toaster oven pizza from the supermarket capture such a familiar taste of home? We bought one to find out!

Conbini-talk with Mr. Sato: How to make a convenience store snack 100 times more delicious

Master Blaster
Apr 30, 2015

Japan’s convenience store- (conbini) littered landscape is a breeding ground for competition, and with that comes increasingly more delicious food and drink in an increasingly wider variety.

This shouldn’t be news to anyone who lives in Japan, but our self-confessed conbini connoisseur Mr. Sato says he has developed a way to make one of their snacks 100 more delicious than its regularly sold.

Japanese dentistry association says don’t hesitate to brush right after you eat

Master Blaster
Apr 30, 2015

That might not sound like a shocking headline for those of us whom have been taught to brush right after every meal from an early age. But recent reports from the past decade have been suggesting something different.

Articles from the Mayo Clinic, Colgate, and New York Times among others have been advocating waiting 30 to 60 minutes after eating to brush. Apparently the delayed brushing movement has gotten so strong that parents Japan are beginning to complain to schools making children brush their teeth right after lunch time.

So the Japan Society of Pediatric Dentistry (JSPD) issued a statement telling everyone to not believe the hype and that it’s actually in your best interest to brush right away.

Dragon Quest Super Light Cafe draws near! Command?

Master Blaster
Apr 26, 2015

Beating on smiling blue slimes for single points of experience and coins of gold is taxing work. So for those famished dragon questers and/or warriors in the Tokyo area Square Enix and TBI are set to open the Dragon Question Super Light Cafe (DQSL Cafe).

The cafe is expected to be modeled after the Dragon Quest world and feature dishes based on its characters. This may be the only time that you can nibble on a metal slime (risotto) and sip on a killing machine at the same time. But there are more secrets to be had here as well! Command?