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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 137)

“The Man Who Was Slashed 50,000 Times” gets his first starring role in upcoming film

Since the 1950s, Seizo Fukumoto has been a fixture of seemingly any Japanese production involving samurai. However, you probably wouldn’t recognize his face as he tends to be given the role of “guy who gets killed.” Although he has occasionally taken work outside of period pieces, his constant roles as “soon-to-be-dead guy #2” has earned him the industry title: The Man Who Was Slashed 50,000 Times.

Having enjoyed a long and bloody career in cinema slightly off center-stage, Fukumoto has finally been given his chance at a starring role in Uzumasa Limelight, a new film hitting Japanese theatres this summer.

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Zhongshan man makes the catch of his life: a one-year-old child

For those of you who thought phys-ed class never taught skills valuable in the real world, we bring you the story and footage of one Mr. Li of Zhongshan City, Guangdong.

Upon seeing an infant at a second-story window, the man dashed below and readied himself to make the most important catch of his life.

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Woman falls down open manhole into excrement-filled drain, lives to tweet about it

It’s a scenario that has played out in so many cartoons: You’re walking along the street, minding your own business when suddenly – ZOINK! – you’ve fallen into an uncovered manhole.

When it happens in the real life, though, like it did to this poor woman who documented the experience via Twitter, it’s a far more grisly scene.

As you might expect from a story involving personal injury and a trip to the sewers, this post contains images that some readers may prefer not to look at while enjoying their lunch.  

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Two boys beaten and robbed of puffy pants, Osaka slammed for being trapped in the past

On 20 May, Osaka Prefectural Police announced the arrest of four boys ages 14 and 15 on charges of assault and robbery. The victims were two other male students caught in the act of “bontan hunting” which is ganging up on and attacking someone to steal their particular style of puffy pants.

In addition to this heinous crime, as news hit the internet the rest of Japan came down hard on Osaka for having teens who wear fashion and engage in activities that have been out of style for decades.

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Driver’s licenses? More and more Japanese youths don’t need no stinkin’ licenses

The times they are a changing again. Back in the day, young men would dream of getting a stylish ride in the hopes of raising their status and ultimately win the affections of the women around them.

However, now it seems that youngsters in Japan are no longer interested in paying large sums of money to strap themselves into large decorated pieces of metal and move around at high speeds with hundreds of other random strangers also piloting lethal projectiles.

Where did we go wrong?

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Just when you thought it was safe to get your triglyceride levels checked, the Mega Mac returns

It’s been seven hours and 473 days since they took your love away, Mega Mac. And now the McDonald’s Japan hit taste of the month in the form of an oversized Big Mac has returned. Starting 19 May McDonald’s outlets across the land will again begin serving up the Mega Mac to gluttonous fans (including half of our writing staff) left wanting more back in January ’13.

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Nine celebrities who speak Japanese… or some variation of it

It’s no surprise that in the field of entertainment many talented individuals have found work in Japan and many more have expressed an interest in Japanese culture. But beyond those who stop by Japan and utter a simple “oishi” in a beer commercial or create a music video wearing a cupcake skirt, are a select few who have learnt or are well on their way to learning the Japanese language. Here are a few of them representing the fields of film, sports, and music.

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Husband gives wife a piece of his lung in a revolutionary transplant with the help of a 3-D printer

After having difficulty breathing, a Kansai area resident went to the hospital where she learned that she had an irreversible case of pulmonary fibrosis (firming of lung tissue). The doctors told her that if she didn’t receive a transplant for her left lung she would die. Luckily, her own husband was found to be a suitable donor. However, although his blood and tissue matched, there was a problem with the size of his lung. So a team of doctors at Kyoto University came up with a creative solution so unheard of, you’re more likely to find it in the pages of Black Jack rather than a medical journal.

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Adult and occult books given government support as part of Tohoku restoration project

Back in 2012 the Japanese government earmarked one billion yen (US$9.8 million) for the Kindigi project which grants subsidies to publishers so that they can digitize their works to sell online. The ebooks are intended to allow people in regions affected by the Tohoku Earthquake to get easier access to information. As an added bonus it was hoped this would give Japan’s ebook market a shot in the arm all over the country as well.

However, one year after the digitization of 64,833 works was completed with tax money having paid for half the cost, a group of people involved in the publishing industry have been distributing flyers and organizing meetings over the handling of Kindigi. They found that among the thousands of ebooks were several that they deemed controversial including 100 “erotic” works such as Aan… Ecchina Kaikan Ai (Ughnn… Dirty Pleasure Love).

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North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to star in upcoming run ‘n’ gun video game based on his life

We are all of course familiar with the story of how North Korea’s supreme leader, Kim Jong-un, single-handedly defeated the entire US military with the aid of his magical flaming unicorn and 12-foot vertical leaping skills. I don’t know about you all, but every time I hear about it, I can’t help wishing I could be as bad-ass as he is and experience the same such heroics.

Now the wishing is over, however, thanks to Glorious Leader!, an upcoming game for PC and smartphone by indie developer Moneyhorse. In it, players pilot the plump despot through seven levels of hard running, hard jumping, hard shooting, and hard unicorn riding action.

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Edward Snowden’s work in Japan motivated his leak of classified material according to new book

The Japanese translation of a recent book by Glenn Greenwald covering his involvement in the events surrounding Edward Snowden’s release of thousands of classified US government documents is set to hit stores on 14 May. As a result, an excerpt from the book was released to the Japanese media, whetting readers’ appetites by mentioning the role Japan played in his decision to turn himself into what some consider an enemy of his state.

On the surface, Japan’s role was fairly incidental. However, the slightly new info helped to reignite an older dispute over the nation’s lack of any sort of substantial anti-espionage laws.

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Taiwanese student’s Godzilla made of fallen leaves earns acclaim around the world

Even 60 years after its first appearance on the silver screen, Godzilla is still drumming up a lot of attention as the media build-up for its May (unless you live in China or Japan) release continues. Caught up in the frenzy is Li Yi-Kai and his remarkably detailed renderings of Godzilla and King Ghidorah. I say “remarkably” because all of his works are done in the medium of dead foliage that he picks up off the ground.

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Mr. Sato celebrates Gokusen Day with one of 59 Premium Gokusen Bananas

Happy belated Gokusen Day!

What, you forgot that the first ever Gokusen Day was held last Friday (5/9 [“go-ku”]) after being created by fruit brand Dole? It’s okay, I’m sure after reading our previous announcement that little tidbit of trivia fell into the recesses of your memory banks along with the dates of International Lefthanders Day (8/13) and World Wetlands Day (2/2).

That’s sad news, however, because you missed the chance to pick up one of the limited edition 59 Gokusen Premium Bananas sold for one day only. Of course, if it’s limited our own Mr. Sato will be there to get one. He even goes out in search of certain strains of influenza that are available for a limited time only.

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This couple is waaaaayyyy too happy about their mediocre lot in life

In any other country this advert where two people proudly announce: “Our total annual income is 3.55 million. We bought our mansion!” would be one of those pie-in-the-sky pipe dreams that many young professionals could only dream of.

However, in Japan this ad has left people feeling despondent about the future of the country and thinking to themselves, “I wouldn’t be smiling so much, if I were them.”

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Mayoterrace to open this month, may well be the tangiest place on Earth

For most of my life, I’ve never been much of a mayonnaise fan. It went well on burgers and stuff, but really if the world’s supply had suddenly vanished I don’t think my life would have skipped a beat. That is until coming to Japan and discovering the beauty that is Kewpie brand mayonnaise.

Kewpie Mayo’s taste can best be described as waking up on a lazy Sunday morning to the gentle breath of a kitten by your face as you lay next to your model lover. We’re talking print model not runway – runway is more like Kenko brand mayonnaise.

And so, Kewpie Mayo has become an indispensable condiment to my daily dining routine as it has to millions of others in Japan. However, where can us devoted lovers of the sweet sauce go for information on the history and development of mayonnaise? Mayoterrace, that’s where!

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Good news, Nara residents! You’re in the middle of a huge upside-down pentagram!

The pentagram is a simple shape with deep meanings. No matter what faith or race we come from that little star seems to conjure up thoughts and feelings more than mere circles or dodecahedrons could ever do to the masses.

So when someone tweeted an image from Google Maps with a pentagram laying upside-down over much of the Kansai Region of Japan, it generated quite a bit of buzz along with 13,000 retweets. It was created by joining several religiously significant locations in the area and has Japan’s ancient capital of Nara smack dab in the center.

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Kagawa’s “Udon Generator” begins pumping out the most delicious kilowatts you’ve ever tasted

Actually never mind that, tasting any wattage isn’t really recommended, despite my own preference for licking 9V batteries. Nevertheless, a power source fueled largely by Japan’s girthy noodles called udon is now currently in operation in Takamatsu City, Kagawa Prefecture.

Although generating power from bio-organic sources is nothing new, it seems this plant-based plant has found a way to be sustainable using a peculiar quirk of Kagawa’s udon rich culture.

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A Warm Notice from your friends at Star Hotel

When traveling abroad it’s always advised that you look into the country’s rules and regulations before departing. You never know what activity, considered perfectly acceptable in your homeland, might turn out to be taboo or even a crime in another.

So it’s nice when your hotel sends you a “Warm Notice” like the Star Hotel in China had, which outlines what you may and may not do in your room. The note is dated from 2013 but it was recently posted on Imgur where it gained a lot of attention for it’s simple but important message…

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“If I don’t download free music, I’ll get bullied!” – IT worker’s experience with net-using kids

The internet has completely changed the way we work and live, but for those of us having children it can be hard to understand how different life has become for them as information technology natives.

Having some shoes that could be pumped full of air was the deciding factor of our social status in school at one time, but what are kids thinking about today? Kakurega Komyo is an IT worker in Japan who caught a glimpse of this life while setting up the internet in someone’s house.

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Saitama man robs 7-Eleven with knives, steals 3 onigiri

A 7-Eleven convenience store in Kasukabe City, Saitama Prefecture was the scene of a daring late-night armed robbery earlier this week as an unidentified young man held clerks at knife-point and made off with a total of three onigiri rice balls, whose combined value came to approximately 300 yen (US$2.94).

He’d have gotten away with too, if it hadn’t been for the bread delivery guy…

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