Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 140)

JR East putting on love-handles for Valentine’s Day

Master Blaster
Feb 10, 2014
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Imagine getting on a train after slogging through the slush-filled streets of Tokyo under a grey cloud-filled sky. With the usual packed row of seats, you’re forced to stand while you manipulate your Twitter feed with only one hand.

Then you begin to notice and odd sensation in the hand you’re using to keep your footing as the train jerks and rattles along. The strap you had unwittingly chosen feels a little different to normal. Looking up, you discover that it is in fact in the shape of a heart, and next to it is another heart-shaped hand strap being held into by another. Then your two eyes meet and you’re both struck by what Michael Corleone referred to as a “lightning bolt.”

This is exactly the kind of scene Japan Rail East hoped will play out in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day when they installed a single pair of heart-shaped hand straps on trains running along the Keiyo Line.

Master Blaster
Feb 10, 2014

On 8 February, the skies over Tokyo and much of the Kanto region darkened. Ominous clouds suddenly began to steadily sprinkle the urban center with fluffy flakes of snow. However, in an area not used to such weather conditions, chaos ensued. Residents urged loved ones to stay indoors if possible while others flocked to supermarkets to load up on supplies. Our own Kuzo – who’s no stranger to reporting from dangerous environments such as North Korea and the spa-resort town of Évian-les-Bains, France – took to the streets of Tokyo to see how everyone was coping with the nearly three inches of snow that had strickened them.

All the awesome cuteness of a cat’s paw harnessed in one pastry, on sale now in Osaka

Master Blaster
Feb 10, 2014

From now until 31 March you can get your hands on a Kuro Neko No Te (Black Cat Paw) pastry at a bakery in the Hotel New Hankyu Osaka. This is the second installation of the Neko No Te (Cat Paw) series of delectable pastries that started last year to celebrate the hotel’s 50th anniversary.

New arcade game lets you get face-to-face with AKB48 members… and shoot them in the face

Master Blaster
Feb 9, 2014

Starting this April in arcades everywhere, darlings of the idol scene, AKB48 will be making their debut in an arcade game. Unfortunately for fans they are also zombified and require you to take aim and unload on them with your handgun.

It’s called Sailor Zombie AKB48 Edition, and as the name suggests it features members of the pop squad dressed up in adorable sailor outfits. Also as the name implies, the cuties are reanimated corpses who desire to eat your brains.

KFC Fish back for a second helping, will it stick around this time?

Master Blaster
Feb 8, 2014

Last autumn Japan was treated to a new way to enjoy KFC: Kentucky Fried Fish. At that time our reporter Kuzo was lucky enough to sample a few sticks before the entire nation converged on the fast food chain and devoured the crispy battered fish sticks faster than KFC could supply them.

As a result the KFF campaign came to an abrupt halt in under two weeks time due to lack of ingredients. However, from 6 February, KFC Japan says they have reworked their logistics and are reviving Kentucky Fried Fish! This time we sent in Megu to check it out.

White Cola is back! And it brought penguins for the Sochi Olympics

Master Blaster
Feb 7, 2014

For decades Japan has had fleeting affairs with concoctions known as “White Cola” which is meant to be a twist on the age old formula that brings us the brown colas we all know and love. Now, it’s back again to celebrate the Sochi Olympics. From 4 February you can purchase a bottle of Pokka Sapporo White Cola for 147 yen (US$1.45).

We try Häagen-Dazs Rose and Sakura: It’s like there’s a toilet in my mouth and everyone’s invited

Master Blaster
Feb 7, 2014

On 3 February, Häagen-Dazs Japan released two new flavors to celebrate their 30th anniversary: Rose and Sakura (cherry blossom). Although they were unusual flavors in the realm of ice cream, in the more than capable hands of Häagen-Dazs they’re sure to be great… right?

Master Blaster
Feb 6, 2014

As we learned a few days ago, 3 February is the traditional holiday of Setsubun in Japan. Although its customs vary from region to region, most people who celebrate the occasion enjoy the practice of throwing beans to expel evil from their homes. The Shibamata Taishakuten temple in Katsuhika, Tokyo must have had some industrial strength evil in their area this year because they brought in OCP’s future of oni-fighting, Robocop, to toss some beans.

Students go nearly a year without textbooks after teacher forgets to hand them out

Master Blaster
Feb 5, 2014

It would seem a small case of absentmindedness has been breaking out in educational institutes around Japan recently. One such case in Japan’s Kumamoto Prefecture saw a handful of students go nearly an entire year without ever receiving some of their “required reading material.”

However, in this and another similar case, it’s hard to say who’s at fault, the teachers who failed to give the proper references out, or the students who neglected to say anything about it.

Master Blaster
Feb 3, 2014

The above image depicting a man looking at erotic manga on a train has been circulated wide across the internet. We even made use of it in an article about unusual train behavior. Hardcore readers, however, may recognize this man as Yoppy, a writer from the awesome Japanese humor website Omocoro.

With his new-found fame, Yoppy embarked on a quest to present his website beyond the shores of Japan. But was the world ready for the Japanese-oriented naked-man-heavy content of Omocoro? Find out in this naked-man-heavy article!

Tokyo Disneyland celebrates “Thanks Day” where the employees become valued guests

Master Blaster
Feb 1, 2014

On 27 January, Tokyo Disneyland held a little-known annual event to express gratitude for their legions of employees. Called “Thanks Day” it’s the one times of the year where those who work hard offering us visitors their cordial hospitality get to cut loose and have free rein over the park. Meanwhile, their managers give themselves a temporary demotion for the night to serve colas and operate Big Thunder Mountain.

Samurai Vodka’s bottle design is a cut above the rest

Master Blaster
Jan 31, 2014

Back in 2009 an interesting design for a bottle of Samurai Vodka was posted on Behance, a website where graphic artists and designers can showcase their works. More recently, it was picked up by a Reddit user, thus sending the clever design by Arthur Schreiber viral around the world. And quite frankly it deserves to be seen in all four corners.

Master Blaster
Jan 31, 2014

Smart products seem to be emerging left and right these days with smart wigs getting a patent by Sony and smart sushi restaurants already on the streets. With all this smartness to be had, why not give your nails the same intelligence. They deserve it. All you have to do is pick up some Smart Nails recently released by H2L.

Tottori University researchers discover a simple way to possibly cure all forms of cancer

Master Blaster
Jan 30, 2014

Alright, it doesn’t look so simple from the above image, but on 25 January, Tottori University announced that researchers have found a method to successfully transform a cancerous tumor into non-threatening tissue. Although the research that went into it is incredibly complicated, the result is a single molecule that may be able to universally reverse cancerous cells in a relatively brief amount of time.

The announcement doesn’t hold back its enthusiasm either, proclaiming that from this discovery “the dream of the eradication of cancer is at hand.”

Master Blaster
Jan 30, 2014

It can be said that the power of China lies in its massive population. This country holds around 1.3 billion people and nearly 20 percent of the world’s people. As such you might expect living there to be a tight squeeze.

However, according to 2010 census figures of the populations of each Chinese Province, Autonomous Region, and Direct Controlled Municipality, the nation with the most people still has quite a bit of space in parts.

Master Blaster
Jan 29, 2014

In an unprecedented piece of school lunch policy for Japan, four schools in Mimasaka, Okayama are serving soups containing wild boar and deer as a part of their lunch program. It would seem the scheme is intended to both teach children about local food sources and decrease a “nuisance” to the local environment.

Japanese Twitter user stumbles across legendary deep-sea fish, cooks and eats it four different ways

Master Blaster
Jan 27, 2014

Every once in a while the Japanese media picks up on the story of an extremely long deep sea fish that washes up on its shores. Called an “oarfish,” it is long believed to be a harbinger of earthquakes.

But for one Twitter user it was a harbinger of an impressive four course meal. While out before sunrise, he stumbled along one of these allegedly supernatural fish washed up on shore. After contacting several marine institutes and finding none to claim the large fish, he tossed superstitions aside and acted on the belief that when life hands you an oarfish, you make oarfish fillets.

Master Blaster
Jan 27, 2014

A few days ago we brought word of a revolutionary hay fever remedy from the folks at Thanko. Harnessing the mighty power of nylon and universal serial bus ports, the USB Pollen Blocker may be our savior for this impending allergy season in Japan.

To be sure, we picked one up in Akihabara and gave it to our resident ace-reporting guinea-pig Mr. Sato for a road test. Did it cure him of his seasonal sniffles or did it simply make him look like an demented bee-keeper on the streets of Tokyo? The following is his report.

Master Blaster
Jan 26, 2014

Recently the walls of the RocketNews24 office have been echoing with giddy squeals of “Eeeeeee… Takamina!” at a rate of about once per hour. In between, we have been treated to a middle-aged man’s song-stylings of AKB48’s single Koisuru Fortune Cookie.

It all started last year when our reporter Mr. Sato had entered a dance contest to meet graduating AKB48 member Tomomi Itano, but despite his best efforts he lost out. Now, he has his sights on Minami Takahashi (“Takamina”) and the chance to see her and other members in an exclusive show only available to the winners of a contest held by Japan’s Wonda Coffee.

Multiple witness reports of mysterious lights over Okinawa 【Video】

Master Blaster
Jan 26, 2014

At approximately 9:00pm on 23 January, reports started coming into the Okinawa Times about a strange array of lights over their capital city Naha. Japan’s Self Defense Force and astronomical experts are without answer, yet witness accounts and videos claim a dozen or so bright orange lights appearing to hang and shift around in the sky could be see in the area.