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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 169)

Go Fly a Kite?! Not Any More! With Homekite You Can Stay Right Where You Are

Picture the typical family, if you will. One Sunday afternoon, Junior runs into the den and asks Pa to go kite-flying together.  “Not today, Junior”, said Pa, “It’s just not windy enough.”

Junior walks back to his room and plays Grand Theft Auto, sullenly killing policemen with a sniper rifle.  Even though he got 15 headshots in a row, his heart just wasn’t in it.  Once again Mother Nature had ruined his true passion – kites.

This tragic scene plays out in homes across the kite-loving world.  So the brain trust at Takara Tomy came up with Homekite, the first (I’m guessing) kite to be used in the home.

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With the New Dual iPad App “Rich Book” You Can Up Your Chances of Being Mugged to 94%

E-book readers are fast becoming the most popular way to get your reading done.  They take up less space and can sometimes be lighter and cleaner than their paper counterparts.

Still, if you’re an old fart like me, you still can’t get used to holding a table and stroking your finger to make a virtual “page” flip over.  It just doesn’t feel right.

But with “RichBook”, the new app from feedtailor Inc., you can sync a single e-book between two iPads, thus creating a real e-book book! Despite its name, the app is available for free to download.

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Cola War Breaks Out in Thailand

On 31 October, the long-standing 59-year partnership between Pepsi Co and Thailand’s leading bottling company Serm Suk came to a close.  As a result, Serm Suk launched a surprise cola blitz on the competition with a 300 million baht (US$9.8M) campaign for their own “est Cola”.

Since 2 November est Cola has set up strongholds in most major supermarkets and convenience stores across the nation. Also, in the short span of a month they were able to breach into what is considered by cola military analysts as the key position for victory – fast food soda fountain machines.

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As the Wii U (finally) made its Japanese debut on 8 December amid great fanfare, cosplay, and pizza, reviews sprang up across the internet like so many fireworks going off when Mario enters the little castle at the right time.

As we at RocketNews24 got our hands on a US machine ahead of the Japanese launch we were impressed with its smooth and fast handling, even while riding a bullet train.

So it’s a little surprising to us and many other Nintendo fans when one woman’s review turned to rant at the device’s excruciatingly slow time to switch between some simple screens.

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Day of Wishes from the Dragon God Available on Yahoo! Auction, Seller’s Sister’s Panties Also Up for Grabs

It pays to keep a keen eye on Japan’s Yahoo! Auctions every once I a while. You’ll never know when you can get a personal live performance form your favorite band, or the opportunity to hire them to clean your home.

So imagine our surprise when the chance to have the Dragon God, Shenlong, from the Dragon Ball series for one day went under the hammer! And in this deal you aren’t limited to one wish like in the manga, you can make as many as you want.

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Amazing High Quality Color Footage of a Very Different Tokyo Circa 1935

Even without ever having gone to Tokyo one can probably imagine the sprawling metropolis of 13 million people.  It’s an ocean of buildings spackled with LED lights and paper signs threaded by vines of elevated walkways sitting atop a massive labyrinth of a subway system.

Of course it wasn’t always like this. Thanks to an incredibly well made and well preserved piece of film we can get a glimpse of a rare Tokyo. It was taken right between the city’s two 20th century destructions during the 1923 Great Kanto Earthquake and the 1944 firebombing campaign.

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Send Your Loved Ones Christmas Greetings, But Send it Secretly with Coke!

Imagine you want to ask that girl or guy of your dreams out this holiday season, but maybe you’re too shy to do it out right. You could send a text or e-mail, but that’s kind of lame and bland.

Go figure: the megacorporation Coca Cola is here to provide you with a sweet, intimate, and memorable way to tell people how you feel.

It works kind of like a sugary time bomb of love. All you need is a plastic bottle of coke and a marker.

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Giant Robot Battle Fists Now On Sale in Japan! But With Great Robot Fists Comes Great Responsibility

Finally you can put awesome power of giant battle robots in the palm of your hand— or around the palm of your hand—with GIANT ROBOT BATTLE FISTS. Now available in Japan! Sounds like the perfect Christmas gift to me!

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Is everyone ready for the end of the world in a few weeks? In preparation for Armageddon I’ve decided not to pay any of my bills.  And that new toothbrush will have to wait until after 21 December, when the Mayan Long Count calendar expires.

I thought I had everything covered until reading reports from Chinese media about Lu Zhenghai from Xinjiang.  The engineer is currently finishing off his own “Noah’s Ark” with an estimated price tag of two million yuan (US$320k).

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Why Don’t People Like the New Iron Chef? Was it the Fish Semen?

Back in the 90s, I was a huge fan of the Iron Chef when it got imported to North American television.  Although I was normally uninterested in cooking programs, something about the drama and pageantry that went on in Kitchen Stadium struck a chord.

The show was even imported to western countries who tuned it to suit their own tastes, and a lot of others around the world got into those weekly culinary competitions.

So when Fuji TV announced the return of Iron Chef to primetime television, a lot of buzz was generated. However, their two-hour debut claimed just a 10% share of the ratings, half of what the original program regularly held. It got worse from there as later episodes slunk to around 7%.

So what happened to our beloved Iron Chef? Everyone’s got an opinion and so do we.

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[Election 2012] Google Sets Up Face Time between Japanese Politicians and Voters

With Japan’s general election looming on 16 December, the tension in Japan is so thick you could cut it with a noodle. Yes, the country has been mired in a political malaise of apathy since the days of Koizumi.

The Prime Minister’s seat has been a musical chair for the past 6 years with no dynamic leadership on the horizon to guide the country into the future. Government in Japan is largely a good old boys club where people rise to positions of power simply by being the grandson of some great leader way back when.

Google has set up a campaign to help politicians get more in touch with their electorate and hopefully hash out a plan for Japan’s future that people can get behind – not to mention help promote the social network Google+.  Google Japan will be putting regular people face to face with representative of the major political parties for a little Q & A session on 14 December.

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Outbreak of Rare Phantom Squid in Pacific Coast of Japan May Herald Imminent Earthquake

Deep below the ocean lives the squid Chiroteuthis, known in Japan by the name Yurei Ika (Phantom Squid).  The Japanese name comes from its ghost-like fluttering and floating movement.

It’s a squid seldom seen by people who don’t have access to a submarine and can visit their habitat 200 to 600 meters beneath the ocean.  So when they started turning up in unprecedented numbers around the southeastern coast of Japan, experts became understandably alarmed.

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Japanese City Changes Name to “Xmas City” this December

On 30 November, the mayor of Yamaguchi, Sumita Watanabe, declared to Nishinippon Newspaper that his city of Yamaguchi will be renamed “Xmas City” for the entire month of December. The move is a part of a tourism campaign which involves a month-long event of festive activities.

More than simply a PR campaign, Yamaguchi actually has a valid claim as being the launching pad for Christianity in Japan and thus the “hometown” of Christmas in Japan. Yamaguchi was where Saint Francis Xavier, the patron saint of Japan, and his followers celebrated their first Christmas.

Gather around kids, it’s time to hear the story of how Christmas first came to Japan.

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Look Out Starbuck’s Gundam Café Has You in Its Sights, Opens 3rd Store in Tokyo Station

When the first Gundam Café opened in Akihabara, people thought it was a cute little niche place for the resident otaku, but there’s no way a giant robot themed coffee shop would ever take off.

However, their blend of mechanically efficient service and sterile décor had led to a second Gundam Café to the south in Odaiba.  Still, people wrote it off as a fluke.

Now, less than a year later on 20 December, the a 3rd Gundam Café is set to make a precision strike right in the heart of Tokyo: Tokyo Station.  The coffee service industry may never be the same.

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Siri Puts the “Ass” Back into Personal Assistant with Her Japanese Record Debut

Japanese independent musicians IOSYS (ee-oh-she-su) have a treat in store for us this Christmas.  They created a concept album titled Teach me Shiri Sensei! starring everyone’s favorite virtual assistant who only knows what you’re saying half of the time, Siri.

You might be wondering from the image above why anthropomorphic moé Siri (yes, that’s her) has a severe case of plumber’s crack. It’s not just pervy for the sake of being pervy. In Japanese, there isn’t really a “see/si” sound. Instead, it’s a “she” sound.

First, this can make it very funny when a Japanese person asks “May I take a seat?” Second, this changes the pronunciation of Siri to “Shiri”, which is the Japanese word for “buttocks.”  This word play is a major theme in the album.

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How to Make the Geekiest Drink Ever: #c0ffee. No, not coffee, #c0ffee!

Have you ever heard that stoner question: “What does like, yellow taste like man?”

Recently a group of guys in Tokyo developed a recipe for a color called #c0ffee.  Those who don’t use computers heavily may assume it’s a brownish color but…

It’s actually a light turquoise, like this.

“#c0ffee” is a hexadecimal color code, which is basically a combination of letters from a to f and numbers that web pages interpret as a specific color. Hexadecimal color codes are denoted by a hash tag so the little magic elves running the internet know that it’s not a string of nonsense. For example: #FFFFFF indicates black, #FF0000 indicated red, and #c0ffee indicates that light turquoise color above.

So how did they create a beverage the same color as #c0ffee? Is there even any real coffee involved?

Not in the least! The recipe for #c0ffee consists of sardines, cabbage and milk.  What’s surprising is that after crating the recipe and putting on Cook Pad, Japan’s most popular recipe-sharing website, a couple of people actually tried it and said it was “delicious.”

Finding it hard to believe a bluish-green drink made from fish could be delicious, I set out to whip up a batch and try it myself!

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Looking for Work Fellas? How about a Job Where You’re Always Surrounded by Women? Nursing!

As the global recession trudges along, unemployment rates remain high leaving many young men laid off or graduating without job prospects. Luckily a new avenue of employment for men has opened up in Japan.

Up until not long ago, nursing in Japan was exclusively done by women. Even as more and more women took on careers as doctors, the idea of a man being a nurse was about as absurd as a cow being one. However, nowadays more and more Japanese men are beginning to follow in the footsteps of Florence Nightingale.

So what are the pros and cons of becoming a male nurse?

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South Korea has been enacting more stringent punishments for violent sexual crimes which appear to be on the rise in the country.  As the government is recommending castration as a possible solution one citizen is doing his part to prevent these awful crimes.

His name is Hong Gwang Ui, a 43 year-old father of a four year old son, and using his knowledge as an engineer for the military he crafted a simple device which sets off an alarm if within 30 meters of a convicted sex offender.

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Briefs in Brief: Top Underwear Developments in Japan

Things are getting busy for the unsung hero of clothing, underwear.  In recent years developments in the underwear technology sector have been coming in fast and furious.

The following is a report of some progressive underpants that promise to cut smells, back pain and will rub your belly while you sleep.

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