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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 169)

BMX rider Takahiro Ikeda proves he’s more than just a pretty face, goes for “megaspin” world record

Takahiro Ikeda is a 23-year-old pro BMX rider who defeated many opponents and overcame numerous challenges to win a world championship in 2010. If that weren’t enough his good looks have also earned him several TV appearances.

However, last July he had to face off not with other skilled opponents, nor with the lights and cameras of the media, but with himself as he attempted to set a Guinness World Record in the “megaspin” – a move in which the rider spins around on their back wheel without touching the ground with their body or other wheel.

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We check out an enchanting gold mining town in the mountains of Taiwan, and hope you do too

Jiufen is a well-known tourist attraction in Taiwan. Many Japanese tourists especially have flocked to this location after rumors circulated that it was the inspiration behind the hit animated film Spirited Away. Even though those rumors now appear to have been mistaken the place still draws visitors with its colorful lights and rolling hills.

While it’s largely agreed that Jiufen is beautiful, our reporter Kuzo had his sights on another destination. A place largely obscured by the bright lights of Jiufen but equally beautiful. He was on his way to the old gold mining town of Jinguashi.

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Unlimited eggs for a $1! But there’s a catch…

Recently popping up on Twitter, a supermarket ad declaring a unique event has received a lot of attention here in Japan. However, as the person who originally tweeted it comments, this advert may also be a “premonition of disaster.”

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Supermarket rampage leaves 103 groceries in critical condition

A tragic scene unfolded in a supermarket in Kurashiki, Okayama last Thursday as 32-year-old Shinji Kuroki went on a mass poking and squishing rage inside. Details of the total damage are sketchy but we received reports that packs of meat had holes poked in them with a finger and loaves of bread have been seen lying on the ground, smashed in cold blood.

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Don’t piss away your money! Use Pee Trajectory Corrector!

As we reported in August, the city of Shenzhen, China enacted a pee-control policy in its public toilets. Anyone caught peeing outside of the appropriate receptacle can face fines up to 100 yuan (US$16).

But when life hands you urination regulations, the true entrepreneur makes sweet golden urination regulation-aiding merchandise! That’s just what two opportunists did with their Pee Trajectory Corrector. Look for them conveniently on sale outside of a public washroom in Shenzhen.

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Man walks 1,400km home after getting mugged on the other end of Japan

The mother of a 25-year-old man was stunned to see him arrive home after he was declared missing for several days. When she last saw him he left his hometown of Sendai to attend a national trading card game competition in Kitakyushu city on 23 August.

However, when he never made his return flight on 25 August, she got worried. It turned out that her son was robbed of his wallet and mobile phone and spent the following 11 days traveling back to Sendai on foot. Upon his return the son said, “I never wanted to make a fuss. I’m sorry to everyone I inconvenienced.”

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Man in Taiwan arrested for… polishing other people’s cars

Recently in Taiwan, authorities finally apprehended a man who had been terrorizing a Taipei community for an untold stretch of time. This possible terrorist had been brazenly walking from car to a car with a cloth and wiping them down until they sparkled. The fiend!

Thankfully, a brave citizen saw their own car being shined by the man and reported him to the proper authorities. Unfortunately, the people of Taipei only had a brief respite from the horrors he unleashed as police released him shortly afterwards.

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Japan Airlines offers free guitar boxes to ease travelling musicians’ worries

Taking a flight with a musical instrument can be nerve-racking. There are a number of ways for your precious gear to be damaged, be it by air pressure and temperature changes, or the risk of it being manhandled or even lost by unbaggage handlers.

Flying with a guitar can be especially daring as they can sometimes be too big for carry-on baggage and often require DIY protection methods like loosening the strings and wrapping a T-shirt around the head. Thankfully, Japan Airlines (JAL) has heard these worries and responded by lending out a protective case for your beloved acoustic or electric.

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A century of culture: Isao Tomita and Hatsune Miku pay musical tribute to author Kenji Miyazawa

This year marks the 80th anniversary of Kenji Miyazawa’s Death, and as a tribute to the celebrated writer a revival of the Ihatov Symphony was performed in his hometown of Hanamaki City, Iwate Prefecture on 29 August. The symphony was composed by Isao Tomita, a true originator of electronic music in Japan and features Hatsune Miku the iconic vocaloid who embodies the trail blazed by Tomita decades ago.

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Love that new car smell? This Japanese company is hoping to rid the world of it

For many of us the smell of a new car is as sweet as a rose named victory, but for an increasing number of people it smells like a toxic dump. Those people may be on to something too, as there is also an increasing interest in the possible risks of that once beloved aroma.

Sure you could smoke cigars while your soaking wet dog rolls around in the back seat to get rid of that smell, but that’s time-consuming and only masks the potentially hazardous chemicals causing the scent. That’s why Japanese chemical company, Tosoh, are well on their way to producing an environmentally-friendly way to rid your car of its new smell.

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Fan-made intro to 8-bit Pacific Rim game leaves us itching to press start

The movie Pacific Rim has been getting a lot of love around the actual Asian Pacific Rim recently, with China especially talking about it, though perhaps not for the best reasons. Japan too, being a lover of giant monster movies, has taken to Guillermo del Toro’s work, with praise from game makers Fumito Ueda (Ico, Shadow of the Colossus) and Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear, Zone of Enders) and manga artists Go Nagai (Marzinger Z) and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto (Neon Genesis Evangelion).

Also, in honor of the film a video was posted to YouTube titled “Pacific Rim Main Theme 8bit Arrange” which along with NES-tech rendition of the movie’s main theme gives us a nostalgic intro scene to what could have been a great video game adaptation of Pacific Rim. There are even some cute sprite versions of the Jaegers!

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Astronomer’s Kansai earthquake warning called off: “No possibility of earthquake before the end of September”

Well, it looks as if the people of Kansai may have been jerked around yet again. One month after the Japan Meteorological Agency sent out a blanket alarm of an imminent earthquake in Nara, astronomer Yoshio Kushida made the grim prediction of a large-scale quake as early as 6 September.

Now, in the wake of intense media attention, Kushida’s PHP Institute has made a follow-up report stating that until the end of September “there is no possibility of an earthquake.”

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ATM mysteriously withdraws itself and explodes in China

China is increasingly becoming a real-life Maximum Overdrive with machines and items such as mobile phones, toilets, bus windows, buses, cans of cola, and cigarettes have all lashed out at their fleshy masters.

And now, at around 2:00 a.m. in Fujian Province, the automated teller machine of a credit union exploded blowing out nearby windows but injuring none. It would appear the joke was on this machine as it didn’t know most people sleep at that time of day.

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Astronomer warns of major earthquake in Kansai as early as next week

After last month’s false alarm of a large earthquake over our mobile phones, Nara and surrounding area residents’ blood pressures are finally getting back to normal. Well, don’t put away those paper bags yet. Now there’s another reason to worry. Research out of Yatsugadake Nanroku Observatory is suggests that we can expect a major earthquake of at least magnitude 7 to hit somewhere in the Kansai area from next week.

Earthquake-prone Japan is no stranger to proclamations of doom so it’s hard to get too worked up. However, the head of the observatory, Yoshio Kushida has made this prediction with a truly unique method that if correct could revolutionize earthquake prediction. Rather than looking down at the ground, Kushida suspects we can detect earthquakes better by watching the skies.

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Allegedly abusive passenger judo-thrown by female station worker

It’s an old stereotype that all East Asians know martial arts and one that’s far from the truth. However, you never know when someone you least expect is going to pop out some taekwondo, karate, judo, or, in the words of James Brown, ka-razy.

Hiroshi Ebina learned that the hard way when a 21-year-old female station attendant he got mixed up with took him down in one move having good old-fashioned judo under her presumably black belt.

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Eight-year-old girl astounds world with guitar technique

Guthrie Govan stands among the best guitar players in the world. He is able to play in a variety of styles gracefully like few others can. His song “Fives” in particular showcases how well he can use the entire fret board effortlessly to make a deeply complex, sophisticated yet catchy guitar jam.

With that, here’s eight-year-old Risa-X to perform this extremely intricate piece written by the 1993 Guitarist of the Year on her guitar!

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Japanese netizens share favorite quotes on marriage, not a single positive one in the bunch

“Marriage, in contrast to the flu, starts with a fever and ends with the chills.”
(Georg Christoph Lichtenberg)

This quote by the German scientist/writer was the opening salvo to an online sharing session of people’s favorite marriage-related quotes. However, this was far from a lovefest. In fact, every single quote was anti-marriage or at the very least cautionary with regards to tying the knot.

If you’re wondering why more and more young Japanese people are turned off by the institution of marriage, these favored quotes may shed some light, or perhaps darkness, on the situation.

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Man arrested for trying to take a video up girls’ skirts, recorded self as well

Kanagawa Prefectural Police had an easy day of work this Thursday when they arrested 31-year-old Hirotaka Kikuchi on charges of voyeurism (deemed ‘harassment’ by Kanagawa Prefecture). Although it took some time, the suspect was quite easy to find after he accidentally videoed himself while setting up his so-called hidden cameras.

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Bird poop disables 25,000 traffic signals in Nagano

On 28 August police and motorists in Shiojiri and Matsumoto cities in Nagano Prefecture had to deal with nearly a half an hour of dead traffic lights. The cause of this menace was none other than mankind’s greatest airborne threat – bird droppings.

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