Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

StudyNow App

Posted by Master Blaster (Page 167)

 

Is everyone ready for the end of the world in a few weeks? In preparation for Armageddon I’ve decided not to pay any of my bills.  And that new toothbrush will have to wait until after 21 December, when the Mayan Long Count calendar expires.

I thought I had everything covered until reading reports from Chinese media about Lu Zhenghai from Xinjiang.  The engineer is currently finishing off his own “Noah’s Ark” with an estimated price tag of two million yuan (US$320k).

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Why Don’t People Like the New Iron Chef? Was it the Fish Semen?

Back in the 90s, I was a huge fan of the Iron Chef when it got imported to North American television.  Although I was normally uninterested in cooking programs, something about the drama and pageantry that went on in Kitchen Stadium struck a chord.

The show was even imported to western countries who tuned it to suit their own tastes, and a lot of others around the world got into those weekly culinary competitions.

So when Fuji TV announced the return of Iron Chef to primetime television, a lot of buzz was generated. However, their two-hour debut claimed just a 10% share of the ratings, half of what the original program regularly held. It got worse from there as later episodes slunk to around 7%.

So what happened to our beloved Iron Chef? Everyone’s got an opinion and so do we.

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[Election 2012] Google Sets Up Face Time between Japanese Politicians and Voters

With Japan’s general election looming on 16 December, the tension in Japan is so thick you could cut it with a noodle. Yes, the country has been mired in a political malaise of apathy since the days of Koizumi.

The Prime Minister’s seat has been a musical chair for the past 6 years with no dynamic leadership on the horizon to guide the country into the future. Government in Japan is largely a good old boys club where people rise to positions of power simply by being the grandson of some great leader way back when.

Google has set up a campaign to help politicians get more in touch with their electorate and hopefully hash out a plan for Japan’s future that people can get behind – not to mention help promote the social network Google+.  Google Japan will be putting regular people face to face with representative of the major political parties for a little Q & A session on 14 December.

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Outbreak of Rare Phantom Squid in Pacific Coast of Japan May Herald Imminent Earthquake

Deep below the ocean lives the squid Chiroteuthis, known in Japan by the name Yurei Ika (Phantom Squid).  The Japanese name comes from its ghost-like fluttering and floating movement.

It’s a squid seldom seen by people who don’t have access to a submarine and can visit their habitat 200 to 600 meters beneath the ocean.  So when they started turning up in unprecedented numbers around the southeastern coast of Japan, experts became understandably alarmed.

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Japanese City Changes Name to “Xmas City” this December

On 30 November, the mayor of Yamaguchi, Sumita Watanabe, declared to Nishinippon Newspaper that his city of Yamaguchi will be renamed “Xmas City” for the entire month of December. The move is a part of a tourism campaign which involves a month-long event of festive activities.

More than simply a PR campaign, Yamaguchi actually has a valid claim as being the launching pad for Christianity in Japan and thus the “hometown” of Christmas in Japan. Yamaguchi was where Saint Francis Xavier, the patron saint of Japan, and his followers celebrated their first Christmas.

Gather around kids, it’s time to hear the story of how Christmas first came to Japan.

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Look Out Starbuck’s Gundam Café Has You in Its Sights, Opens 3rd Store in Tokyo Station

When the first Gundam Café opened in Akihabara, people thought it was a cute little niche place for the resident otaku, but there’s no way a giant robot themed coffee shop would ever take off.

However, their blend of mechanically efficient service and sterile décor had led to a second Gundam Café to the south in Odaiba.  Still, people wrote it off as a fluke.

Now, less than a year later on 20 December, the a 3rd Gundam Café is set to make a precision strike right in the heart of Tokyo: Tokyo Station.  The coffee service industry may never be the same.

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Siri Puts the “Ass” Back into Personal Assistant with Her Japanese Record Debut

Japanese independent musicians IOSYS (ee-oh-she-su) have a treat in store for us this Christmas.  They created a concept album titled Teach me Shiri Sensei! starring everyone’s favorite virtual assistant who only knows what you’re saying half of the time, Siri.

You might be wondering from the image above why anthropomorphic moé Siri (yes, that’s her) has a severe case of plumber’s crack. It’s not just pervy for the sake of being pervy. In Japanese, there isn’t really a “see/si” sound. Instead, it’s a “she” sound.

First, this can make it very funny when a Japanese person asks “May I take a seat?” Second, this changes the pronunciation of Siri to “Shiri”, which is the Japanese word for “buttocks.”  This word play is a major theme in the album.

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How to Make the Geekiest Drink Ever: #c0ffee. No, not coffee, #c0ffee!

Have you ever heard that stoner question: “What does like, yellow taste like man?”

Recently a group of guys in Tokyo developed a recipe for a color called #c0ffee.  Those who don’t use computers heavily may assume it’s a brownish color but…

It’s actually a light turquoise, like this.

#c0ffee” is a hexadecimal color code, which is basically a combination of letters from a to f and numbers that web pages interpret as a specific color. Hexadecimal color codes are denoted by a hash tag so the little magic elves running the internet know that it’s not a string of nonsense. For example: #FFFFFF indicates black, #FF0000 indicated red, and #c0ffee indicates that light turquoise color above.

So how did they create a beverage the same color as #c0ffee? Is there even any real coffee involved?

Not in the least! The recipe for #c0ffee consists of sardines, cabbage and milk.  What’s surprising is that after crating the recipe and putting on Cook Pad, Japan’s most popular recipe-sharing website, a couple of people actually tried it and said it was “delicious.”

Finding it hard to believe a bluish-green drink made from fish could be delicious, I set out to whip up a batch and try it myself!

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Looking for Work Fellas? How about a Job Where You’re Always Surrounded by Women? Nursing!

As the global recession trudges along, unemployment rates remain high leaving many young men laid off or graduating without job prospects. Luckily a new avenue of employment for men has opened up in Japan.

Up until not long ago, nursing in Japan was exclusively done by women. Even as more and more women took on careers as doctors, the idea of a man being a nurse was about as absurd as a cow being one. However, nowadays more and more Japanese men are beginning to follow in the footsteps of Florence Nightingale.

So what are the pros and cons of becoming a male nurse?

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South Korea has been enacting more stringent punishments for violent sexual crimes which appear to be on the rise in the country.  As the government is recommending castration as a possible solution one citizen is doing his part to prevent these awful crimes.

His name is Hong Gwang Ui, a 43 year-old father of a four year old son, and using his knowledge as an engineer for the military he crafted a simple device which sets off an alarm if within 30 meters of a convicted sex offender.

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Briefs in Brief: Top Underwear Developments in Japan

Things are getting busy for the unsung hero of clothing, underwear.  In recent years developments in the underwear technology sector have been coming in fast and furious.

The following is a report of some progressive underpants that promise to cut smells, back pain and will rub your belly while you sleep.

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The Slow Rise to Success of the Stapleless Stapler, Japan’s Latest Office Trend Poised to Take the World

Get ready to say goodbye to staples.  Not the office supply chain, those little metal pins we’ve relied on for so long to fasten papers together.  Japan is currently undergoing the no-staple revolution thanks to some innovative new products that have surprisingly been around for a long time – stapleless staplers!

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Better Soccer through Feng Shui, Change of Place Hoped to Beef Up China’s National Team

The Chinese Football Association (CFA) has had their hands full for a long time with their lackluster international national team. To add insult to injury, fans of Chinese soccer have grown even more disillusioned due to allegations of corruption in recent years.

Chinese media reports that the longstanding woes of the national team were due to some bad qi floating around the CFA headquarters. Apparently, having a building facing North by Northwest makes your executives degenerate gamblers.

However, by applying the principals of feng shui to their new offices perhaps the association can flow into a reversal of fortune.

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Mercedes-Benz Creates Anime Series or Commercial… or Both

Mercedes-Benz seems to be pulling out all the stops to advertise their 2013 model of A-Class car, the A 180.  In fact they have created a six-minute animated feature starring the A 180, in a rollicking race for the ultimate prize titled Next A Class.

Luckily, I grew up in the era of advertisements thinly veiled as cartoons. All the Noids or Cavity Creeps in the world couldn’t sway my purchasing preferences.  Years of Chester Cheetah and Fido Dido have hardened my mind to the subliminal messages animations can carry.

So although this anime short was well made and entertaining, it in no way swayed my opinion of this sleek new A 180 that perfectly combines the high performance of a sports car with the economic sensibility of a compact.

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New Dragon Ball Z Movie Title Chosen, Limited Edition Tickets to Go on Sale

Our collective rears were tickled with the teaser trailer for a new Dragon Ball Z movie penned by its original creator, Akira Toriyama this past summer, and now a new glimpse of the new movie has arrived – the official title. Along with the announcement comes a once in a life time offer!

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Tokyo University Makes Calculator Using Robot, What It Lacks in Usefulness It Makes Up for in Cuteness

Japan is well known for both its love and skill of robots.  Free of the terminator-induced prejudices of western cultures, they have blazed the way for robotic tour guides, waitresses, fish, singers, hairdressers, waste baskets, cyclists, rock-paper-scissors players, cockroaches, butts

With so many robots, it’s hard to come up with an original one.  But they are still out there. Tokyo University’s Center for the Study of Robotics came up with Denta-kun, the calculator using robot.  Just to make it clear, the robot does not calculate. It just uses a calculator.

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The Results are in! Did The Pocky Day Challenge Defeat iPhone5 for Guinness World Record?

Last week, on 11 November, Ezaki Glico celebrated Pocky & Pretz Day (11/11) with the Try World Record campaign in which the snack maker hoped to gather the most tweets containing the name “Pocky” in one day thus entering the Guinness World Records.

The goal was set at 1.11 million tweets, for obvious visual reasons, and to defeat the previous “The Brand Name Most Tweeted in 24 Hours” record holder, iPhone5, which got 1.08 million tweets on its release day. And the winner is…

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Japan’s Newest National Stadium Design is Decided, but is it the Best Choice?

Since its construction finished in 1958, Japan’s National Stadium in Shinjuku, Tokyo has served its nation proud. It was the field of play for the 1964 Summer Olympics and survived the 2011 Tohoku earthquake unscathed.

However, with the 2019 Rugby World Cup scheduled, it was time for a makeover to the tune of (pinky finger to lips) a billion dollars!

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Sugoi Battery = Great Battery

Everyone heard about the thousands of people who were affected by a great disaster in the USA recently.  Of course, I’m talking about ultra-conservatives and the re-election of Barack Obama.

For all the people moving into Unabomber-style shacks and waiting for the inevitable collapse of American society, we have great news!  Sugoi Battery is exactly what you need to survive a disaster in the wilderness comfortably!

The name is derived from the Japanese word sugoi, which means great, awesome, kick-ass, and all that.  So you can imagine it’s quite the power supply.

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A lucky Twitter user came across a pamphlet the other day outlining some great deals on smartphone services.  These people will go through the painstaking task of installing your smartphone apps for you at the low low price of 1,000 yen (US$12) an app!

In fact, they offer a wide range of useful services, such as installing Facebook, Twitter, or Skype— also for 1,000 yen each!  And I always thought those were apps too.  Boy, is my face red. I’m going to leave it to the professionals from now on.

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