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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 170)

Colossal hovercraft crashes pleasant day at the beach in Russia

Who doesn’t love a nice Sunday at the beach? It’s that one day of the week when we can all kick back and soak up some rays while listening to the relaxing sound of waves lapping against the shore.

At least some of us can while many other people still have to work on Sundays, including those in the Russian Navy who were doing a training exercise. However, it would appear this time they decided to make a detour and sneak their enormous hovercraft onto a locally popular beach on the Baltic Sea for some fun in the sun of their own.

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Exploding toilet in China leads to explosion of puns on the net

On the evening of 4 August, the Liu family returned home at around 9:00pm to the smell of something burning. Thinking the house might be on fire they began to inspect from room to room but found nothing aside from some water dripping from the ceiling.

“I wonder if someone put it out” someone said as they made their way to the second floor still seeing no sign of a fire aside from the stench. Then upon opening the door to the bathroom, they saw the devastation.

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It’s a burger! It’s a pizza! It’s Megaburgerpizza!

Ever have trouble deciding whether you want to have a burger or pizza? Kyoto pizza parlor Pizza Little Party is hoping you choose to have both with their Megaburgerpizza. They’re also apparently tired of being called “little” as this beast weighs in at approximately 1.2kg (2.65lbs).

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Four teenagers mug man to buy special attack uniforms for meeting AKB48

On 22 August, four youths between the ages of 15 and 17 were apprehended for robbing and injuring a man in the streets of Tokyo. While in custody one of the teenagers confessed they had taken the man’s money because they “wanted to get some special attack uniforms [tokkoufuku] and go to an AKB48 handshake meet.”

Well, that certainly clears up everything!

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Ichiro’s 4,000th hit ball and Munenori Kawasaki remind us what baseball’s all about

Like many a baseball player in Japan, Munenori Kawasaki looks up to Japanese baseball legend Ichiro Suzuki. But Kawsasaki has been especially well known for his unflinching support of the future Hall of Famer. Even during his younger days of playing the sport in Kagoshima his style was compared to that of Ichiro.

Years later, on 21 August it would seem the stars aligned just right for Kawasaki as he found himself on the field just as Ichiro made his 4,000th professional hit in a game against the Toronto Blue Jays. But Kawasaki’s pure enthusiasm that night might have even eclipsed his hero’s milestone.

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Nara resident trying to build house stumbles upon forgotten ruins on five separate occasions

In 2010, Nara City in Nara Prefecture celebrated the 1,300th anniversary since becoming the imperial capital of Japan. During its relatively brief time as capital, the city flourished in culture so that even today the area is filled with ruins and relics of it rich distant past.

To have such a city overflowing with cultural heritage representing a romantic period in the history of Japan is both awesome and, well, a royal pain in the butt for anyone who wants to develop land there.

Just ask one poor guy, who tried to build a home to start his life in only to be shot down five times in a row after ruins were found on his land. Distraught and with nowhere else to turn he posted his woes on internet advice site MyNavi News Q & A for help. Here is his translated post.

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Police pick up man “addicted” to throwing cups of urine at women

We all have our vices. Some like a drink or a smoke while others fancy a wager on the ponies every now and again. No matter who you are there’s something you rely on to help get you through the day.

As bad as those previously mentioned habits might be, at least they don’t involve assault charges. The same can’t be said for one middle-aged man arrested for allegedly indulging in his irresistible pastime of throwing cups of urine at women from his car. If they don’t have a rehab for that one yet, they really should get on it.

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China gives big boost to Pacific Rim in box office, amuses many with weird subtitles such as “Pegasus Meteor Fist”

While the Guillermo del Toro ode to tokusatsu (Godzilla, Ultraman, etc.) films had a reasonable opening in its home country, the box office take was rather low to cover its $190 million dollar budget. However, thanks to an astounding foreign release Pacific Rim can be considered a big success – the highest grossing foreign film of the year so far to be exact.

A large part of that success can be attributed to the might of the massive Chinese film going population. As of 18 August, the Chinese revenue was reported to be 618 million yuan (US$100M) surpassing even what Pacific Rim pulled in its home country. But there’s another reason why people are paying attention to the film’s Chinese release.

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Chinese city poised to fine guys who miss the bowl

Recently Shenzhen, Guangdong announced a new bylaw against “non-civilized” behavior in public toilets of the city. This means that guys for whom the act of urination turns into a Sunday afternoon with a wacky water weasel may face fines if caught.

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What do you do when your mother-in-law secretly kisses your husband while you sleep?

It would appear that China is experiencing an unforeseen side-effect of a one child-policy: overbearing parents. Thankfully, this isn’t quite at the embarrassing level of Japan’s monster parents making demands of all unfortunate souls who come in contact with their children.

No, in China it seems it’s just the wives who are bearing the brunt of their in-laws suffocating ways. It’s believed that the number of divorces filed due to irreconcilable differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are on the rise, but this book, which is packed with real-life wife-versus-mother-in-law accounts, might help.

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We try to hammer a nail into a board using a popular Japanese summer treat

A few days ago we reported on a series of whimsical Twitter warnings issued by Imuraya, makers of the Adzuki Bar. The tweets all advise consumers of the famous frozen sweet bean snacks that “Adzuki Bars are seriously hard, so watch your teeth!”

But how hard are they really? Hard enough to, say, drive a nail through a piece of wood? Our reporter Usagi-chan decided to find out.

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New Pokemon anime taking it back to ’96, Coming this October!

Were you one of the millions playing the battery life out of Pokémon Red, Green, or Blue back in the late ’90s? If so, your days fishing for magicarp have probably taken a backseat to a 9-5 job and changing diapers. Perhaps you feel a little disconnected after the several iterations that followed the original games over nearly two decades and feel that the poké balls have been passed to younger generations?

If any of this applies to you, the people behind Pokémon want to say they understand and have prepared a special treat in store. Coming 2 October to TV Tokyo a new anime series will begin titled Pokémon the Origin and follows the storyline of the original set of games.

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New online game has players fulfilling the needs of endless waves of schoolgirls, it’s freaking hard and could you help you study Japanese

Growing up as a young girl isn’t easy, the problems both big and small, mental and physical seem endless. This coming-of-age dilemma is the basis of a new online game put out by girls’ manga magazine, Ribbon. Although, instead of a schoolgirl you take the role of a school nurse’s assistant charged with helping an onslaught of children unhappy with their smells and suffering nosebleeds in School Nurse’s Office.

Don’t let the cutesy artwork of the game fool you, this is deceptively challenging! At least zombies only want one thing.

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Yasukuni Shrine for Dummies, feat. Ian Ziering, Hitler’s corpse, and Anpanman

Ah Shinto, you’re the stoner roommate of world religions. People pride you on your laid-back “everything is god” and “it’s okay to have other religions” policies. Often times they wish they could be just like you. However, when you forget to pay the internet bill for the fourth time that way of thinking gets old real quick.

In Shinto’s case, that ISP’s final warning came in the form of Yasukuni Shrine, a shrine which serves to hold the souls of those who died in the Japanese armed forces. When it came time to include some convicted war criminals among those souls, Shinto coughed and said, “Sure man, they probably did something good along the way.”

And so, Yasukuni Shrine has become a political lightning rod inspiring right-wing nationalists in Japan and spurning the nation’s neighbors. Thankfully, this Obon season, when Japanese people habitually visit shrines to honor those who have gone before us, bread-headed children’s superhero, Anpanman, flew into Yasukuni and lent some sanity to an otherwise volatile situation.

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Arsenal’s Lukas Poldoski earns scores of Japanese fans after revealing new shin pads

In Japan, the manga series Captain Tsubasa was a veritable bible for young aspiring soccer players now active today. Practically every J. League player on the pitch today was reading the series or watching the anime during the ’80s.

This wasn’t just limited to Japan though; the popularity of the soccer-themed comic had spread around the world touching the hearts of young athletes everywhere. Professional soccer player Lionel Messi professed his love for the story, as did Andres Iniesta, Francesco Totti… The list goes on and on.

Among these many pros, German forward Lukas Podolski recently found himself in the loving cyber-embrace of Japan after posting a picture of his new shin guards complete with image of Captain Tsubasa‘s Kojiro Hyuga.

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Man triggers explosion in car trying to keep it cool, two injured

On 14 August at approximately 11:55am, an explosion occurred inside a passenger vehicle in Choshi City, Chiba Prefecture. The main ingredient to this minor disaster was some cooling spray like the kind used by athletes.

We might expect this to be the work of some punk teenagers – with their newfangled Hanna Montanas and Donkey Kong video games – fooling around with matches and aerosols. However, the victims/perpetrators where actually a middle-aged man and woman… fooling around with aerosols and lighters.

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We try some Taiwanese dishes to boost our vigor, includes snake venom and turtles

RocketNews24 reporter extraordinaire Kuzo was feeling a little at half-mast recently and was looking for some ways to put some lead in his pencil, and fast.

Luckily he heard about some Taiwanese dishes that promise to boost stamina and went out in search of them. What he found was some snake, softshell turtle, and Asian ginseng soups. Par for the course for our gourmet reporter but these soups were also served with the bodily fluids of the animals such as blood and poison. If that doesn’t get Kuzo up and going we don’t know what will.

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Japan and the rise of the male parasol: They’re not just for Lolitas anymore!

Foreigners visiting Japan for the first time might be taken aback by how widespread the use of umbrellas is. Sure, during rain storms umbrellas make sense, but even during pleasantly sunny days you’re likely to see enough women putting up parasols to make you think the Bauhaus were in town.

Even this is understandable as “the Land of the Rising Sun” is not just another pretty name. In the middle of summer the often cloudless skies leave us at the mercy of the sun’s unrelenting rays. Combined with a lack of trees in many urban areas there’s simply no escape. And with pale skin traditionally considered to be a sign of beauty and elegance, it’s no wonder so many women still carry a parasol, but it would seem that the heat is getting so bad these days that men, too, are bit by bit turning to a once exclusively feminine accessory for relief and protection.

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The top 10 haunted spots in Japan as chosen by a professional ghost chaser

Ginti Kobayashi is a writer who in recent years can be seen in the series, Kaidan Shinmimibukuro Nagurikomi! In these DVDs, we follow Kobayashi and his colleagues as they explore Japan’s most notoriously haunted places.

In the spirit of summer, when Japan likes to cool down by sharing chilling stories, Kobayashi sat down with Spa magazine and laid out his choices for the top 10 most frightening haunted places he has ever experienced.

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Break out your rags and incense! Let’s learn to clean a grave the right way this Obon season

This Thursday, 15 August marks the beginning of Obon in most of Japan. Obon is a Buddhist custom in Japan where families gather together and are visited by the spirits of their ancestors. Various festivals are held to welcome the ghosts with music and dancing, depending on the region.

However, one tradition that is fairly consistent across the country is known as Ohakamairi (visiting the grave). This custom involves the family going to their grave to clean it and give presents to their deceased ancestors.

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