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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 149)

McDonald’s Japan is bringing Mushroom Risotto Balls this autumn and people couldn’t be angrier

If we’ve learnt one thing from the vast number of articles on this site, Japanese fast food chains like McDonald’s come up with some really good ideas to keep people coming to their restaurants. Regardless of whether they turn out delicious or disgusting, inventions such as the luxury burger line-up, avocado burger, and tofu nuggets are hard to ignore.

It’s gotten to the point that people in Japan may have grown too accustomed to the nice things served at fast food outlets. For example, McDonald’s recently announced their new autumn special – Mushroom Risotto Balls – and online reaction could largely be described as righteous indignation with comments like “only an idiot would eat that!”

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“Are… they OK?” Japan National Soccer Team practice video goes viral for their crappy performance

With Japan’s early defeat in the last FIFA World Cup finals, fans were eagerly awaiting a rebuilt and re-energized team under the guidance of new coach Javier Aguirre. This new national team is set to kick off for the first time on 5 September against Uruguay followed by a match against Venezuela on 9 September.

However, much of the excitement and anticipation held by fans of Aguirre Japan was quickly doused by a wet blanket in the form of a YouTube video posted on 2 September. In it we see what appears to be a practice session that looks…unencouraging to say the least.

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Elementary school drop-out may change the humble screw forever

NejiLaw  is a burgeoning company of about 10 people set up in Tokyo which is offering what the media is calling “the first revolution in the screw in 2,000 years!” At the helm of this company is President Michiwaki, and although his new type of screw is interesting, people can’t help but be more fascinated by the man himself. Michiwaki is an elementary school drop-out who felt that the education system had nothing to offer and so left to pursue a life of self-education and inventing.

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Shokkiri: The obscure art of sumo comedy

Sumo is often thought of as a frighteningly strict sport in which every aspect of a wrestler’s life, from the clothing they wear in public to etiquette in the ring, must adhere to a traditional set of rules. In other words, it seems like the least fun sport to be a part of in the world.

That’s why you might be surprised to learn that there’s a sumo comedy routine out there in Japan that’s been going on for over a century. It’s known as shokkiri and is essentially a sumo match where anything goes, sort of like a Harlem Globetrotters game. And despite being based on such uniquely Japanese traditions its humor is pretty universal and sure to crack smiles anywhere in the world.

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Ehime Prefecture’s new women’s prison decorated powder pink “to relieve feelings of oppression”

In Japan, there are currently 3,440 female inmates confined to seven correctional facilities which all together are built to hold 3,342 women. These statistics come from a spokesperson for the newly opened Saijo branch of Matsuyama Prison, which was built to address this overcrowding problem.

The new prison reportedly offers various facilities and services to cater to women’s needs, but most striking by far are the doors, barred windows and furniture all over the penitentiary, which appear to have been painted a soft pink color, as if to remind the inmates that they’re ladies first and convicted criminals second.

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“No ball games” & “No practicing comedy routines”: City Parks in Japan let you do less and less

If you’re like me and enjoy riding a bike while smoking a cigar, kicking a soccer ball around, with a group of friends and your dog while also shooting off a bottle rocket or two when going to the park, you’ll be hard pressed to find one that will accept you.

But you don’t even have to be nearly as obnoxious as I am to be denied entry into some of the thousands of municipal parks across Japan. In recent years, the number of bans on a vast range of activities ordinarily done it parks from riding bikes to walking dogs have been getting banned at an alarming rate.

At least, they would be, but alarms are also probably banned in many parks.

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High School Nanshiki Baseball championship sets record for longest game: 50 innings and four days

Nanshiki baseball is a variation of the sport unique to Japan where the game is played with a rubber ball rather than the typical hardball or softball. Although it’s not nearly as popular as the other sports, the competition can be fierce especially among the younger players. One example of this can be found in the 59th National High School Nanshiki Baseball Championships semifinals wherein one game turned into a 50-inning and four-day long test of endurance. And as if that wasn’t enough, the winner of that game had to proceed to the final round only a few hours after finishing.

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Pay Japan’s apology agencies to say “I’m sorry” when it’s just too hard to do it yourself

It’s a problem we all have to deal with at various points in our lives. We like to think we’re perfect and have it all figured out, but in reality no one is above making mistakes in their personal or professional lives. But it’s in these mistakes that through the humiliation of making amends to those we wronged we grow a little and become a better person as a result.

However, now thanks to a new line of business in Japan you don’t have to! Why go through all that painful guilt and general ickiness of facing up to the fact you’ve wronged someone when you can just pay someone else to do it for you? This way you can get back to the important things in life, like your golf swing or finally finishing that watercolor you were working on.

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Visiting the South Pole and 14 other lesser known crimes in Japan

Every country or district has their share of obscure crimes tucked deep in dusty long-forgotten law books. Archaic prohibitions on tying your horse to a dog or refusing to salute your teachers can be found everywhere. The following 15 laws however, are not outdated and many of us have probably done them at some point in our lives without realizing that in some cases it could land us in a Japanese prison.

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Cinemas in China let audience post comments onto the screen during the movies

With home entertainments systems always evolving, there seems to be less incentive to head on out to the local movie theatre for a $10 cola and four-year-old running up and down the aisle during an R-rated movie. This means it’s up to the cinemas to raise the stakes and provide new and intriguing movie-going experiences.

Some theaters in cities such as Beijing, Shanghai, and Hangzhou think they have found such an experience by allowing those in the audience to post their comments onto the screen for all to see while the movie plays. So now when I take my mother-in-law she can ask everyone “Why did Bruce Willis just shoot that guy?” instead of just me.

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China’s People’s Liberation Army recruitment video promises aerial dog fights, lots of dancing

Making a recruitment ad for military service is probably one of the hardest sells around. It’s easy to make someone want to buy a cookie. In fact, I want to buy a cookie just after typing that sentence, but motivating someone to put their life on the line takes a whole lot of finesse.

And finesse is what this new recruitment video for the Chinese communist party’s People’s Liberation Army (PLA) has in spades. Clearly intended for a younger audience, some of the hipper aspects of military service such as flying helicopters backwards, firing missiles and ensemble dancing are highlighted in this high-adrenaline three-minute promo video.

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Life doesn’t have a reset button, and neither does a PlayStation 3 controller come to think of it

This fire safety poster was tweeted recently and scored a whopping 21,000 retweets in only a couple of days. It’s an impressive feat for a public service announcement by the Nakagyo Ward Fire Department, but why?

The caption reads: “In life and fire, the reset button doesn’t work.” Okay, class, who can tell me why the reset button doesn’t work? Don’t all answer at once now… No, not because the cable’s on fire. This controller clearly has wireless capability. Oh, I see the person who tweeted this image has their hand up.

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Chinese chef dies after being bitten by the severed head of a cobra he was cooking

Snakes are a delicacy in many parts of the world and among them the Indochinese spitting cobra is held in high regard for both is scarcity and the alleged health benefits it holds to those who consume it.

For the people who prepare the cobras for consumption, however, it can be a completely different story. One chef in China’s Guangdong Province recently lost his life while dressing an Indochinese spitting cobra to serve to customers in a soup. Authorities are ruling this incident to be a freak accident. “Freak” is the operative word here, as the snake that bit the chef had reportedly had its head cut off several minutes earlier.

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“Again with the ninjas…” Japan reacts to the American Yoshinoya commercial online

One of the great joys of RocketNews24 editors and writers is getting to see how fast food chains operate in different countries. The sometimes slight and sometime huge changes to the menu can really give us more insight into the local cultures than you might expect. However, for the most part these multinational restaurants originate from the USA, so it’s really a special treat to see how the huge gyudon (beef bowl) chain Yoshinoya looks when localized for American customers’ tastes.

Recently a commercial for the salaryman’s favorite restaurant was posted on YouTube and drew some curious opinions from those back in its home country. The response was largely positive, especially regarding the American take on Yoshinoya food, but some wished the US would stop with the whole Japan = ninjas thing already.

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Virtual girlfriend technology in Japan on track with drink-sharing simulation for Oculus Rift

As the virtual reality headset Oculus Rift inches closer to its commercial release, virtual girlfriend technology in Japan has been make huge strides. Japanese developers have already found ways to sleep next to Hatsune Miku, sleep with Hatsune Miku, and even be Hatsune Miku. With those essential milestones out of the way, it was time to focus on the more subtle things.

One guy by the name of Negipoyoshi has created a more tranquil Hatsune Miku experience by designing a simulated drink sharing application that allows you to sit with the blue-haired vocaloid on a sunny patio by the sea as you share a single drink with two straws.

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Two members of the Goat Weeding Corps believed to have been abducted in Gifu while on duty

On the morning of 10 August, two goats working with the Goat Weeding Corps disappeared suddenly while on duty in Minokamo City, Gifu. The Goat Weeding Corps (GWC) is an elite team of 20 goats employed by the city to eat weeds in parks and woodlands. The managers of the GWC at Gifu University are treating this as a theft and have reported it to the police.

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Meet Chiyomaru: the cutest gosh-darn sumo wrestler you’ll ever see

One proven way to go viral on the internet is to be unbearably cute. Although it’s a path often taken by pets, women, kids, and pastries, it’s pretty rare to come across a sumo wrestler who pulls in online comments such as “I feel soothed by his unmatched cuteness.”

However, that’s just what Kazuki Kinoshita who wrestles under the name Kazuki Chiyomaru has done in Japan. A candid shot of him napping has become an internet hit and led to other pictures which further consolidate his new title of the world’s cutest sumo wrestler.

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Chiba teacher arrested for threats to “blow up government buildings” because of Saturday classes

On 19 July the Noda City department of the Chiba Prefectural Police announced the arrest of 49-year-old elementary school teacher Masaki Yabusaki on charges of intimidation.

The suspect had allegedly sent around half a dozens emails to the Noda Board of Education with oddly-worded threatening remarks such as “I will blow up bad guys and their government buildings” if they didn’t rescind a decision to extend the school week to include Saturday classes introduced this year.

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Chinese internet unusually upset by “most usual Chinese face” composite

A short time ago a variety program on Shandong Satellite TV aired a segment wherein they tried to create the “most standard Chinese face” for both men and women. The results of their experiment received a cold response in China online, however, drawing comments such as “both are ugly.”

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We try a “half-raw chicken cutlet” at Suda Shoten, it’s even rawer than advertised!

Always on the pulse of new restaurant openings, Mr. Sato hit the streets of Kabukicho to try out a new grilled chicken (yakitori) establishment. It was opened in conjunction with Jiromaru, a barbecued beef place much loved by our reporter for its small portions but interesting variety of cuts.

Because of the association with Jiromaru, Mr. Sato’s expectations were high for Sumibi Yakitori Suda Shoten. However, as he approached the menu posted in front, one item in particular shocked the man whom we thought unflappable after attempting to eat a cheeseburger with over 1,000 strips of bacon.

It was a breaded chicken cutlet but written in parentheses was “half-raw.” Sure, steaks are often ordered in such a way, but chicken?! And so Mr. Sato, who doesn’t know the meaning of “salmonella,” went in to try some out.

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