Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 171)

Avant-Garde Ramen to be Served at Tokyo Game Show, But Is Anyone Iron-Gutted Enough to Eat It?

The Tokyo Game show always has displays and products guaranteed to shock and amaze video game fans from all over.  This year they seem to be leaning more towards the shock with this gourmet experiment.

Remember when you were a kid, you and your friends would put mustard, salt, ketchup, and squished meat into a McDonald’s cup of cola and dared each other to drink it?

This seems to be the concept behind this Soy Milk Curry Ipecac Ramen.

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Sadly these days, we see more and more stories of crimes committed against young children.  That’s why reporting anything out of the ordinary can help save lives.

However, on the Hyogo Prefectural Police operated online crime prevention board, “Hyogo Security Net” a suspicious person report was posted that made several people stop and scratch their heads.  The police seem to have an APB out on themselves.

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[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxMOOyQI99g?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en-US&autohide=2&wmode=transparent&w=640&h=360%5D

In the days following Nono-Chan the cat’s 8th birthday, he began to take stock of his life.  He wondered if chasing strings and sleep was all there was. “Have I reached my fullest potential as a cat,” he pondered.

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Home of the independently created floating bed and doomsday escape pod, China has become a hotbed of DIY inventors making their dreams come true.  Such is the case for a resident of Jinan who, since watching Transformers 4 years ago, has been creating his very own.

After spending 70,000 yuan (US$11,000) and 6 months he was ready to unveil this robotic wonder. He sure looks proud. Let’s see it!

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Would a Pancake by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet? Apparently No, No It Would Not

If I was to suggest that there was a difference between “pancakes” and “hotcakes” you’d probably say, “You’re crazy. Get off my internet!”

And yet if you go into a supermarket in Japan you will find two products made by the same company distinctly classified as “Hotcake Mix” (hottoke-ki mikkusu) and “Pancake Mix” (panke-ki mikkusu).

Either this is some clever ruse concocted by the pancake cartels of Japan or maybe they tapped into something we always knew subconsciously but never fully realized.

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Looking to get lucky with the ladies but can’t seem to get anything going? Has every date you’ve been on died in the water? Then this guide may be for you.

The following are the 10 most fundamental rules when dealing with women on any level of intimacy compiled on the Japanese blog Nanapi.  For many men, many of the rules will seem like no-brainers.  However, there is a reason this list was created – most women have experienced one or more of these things!

So while most of you guys think you’re not a dummy when it comes to women, you might be surprised.  Chances are a vast majority of guys are dummies in one way or another. Or is it just Japanese guys?

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Be Nice to that Roach in Your Kitchen, It May One Day Save Your Life

It appears that the fastest growing field of robotics is cockroaches.  Once thought to be the domain of Roachbot and Roachbot 2.0, researchers from the university of North Carolina have raised the bar further with what has got to be the first functioning cyborg cockroach.

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New Fad, “Frog Mouthing” Popular Among Young Caterpillars Results in One Death

Caterpillars around the world are joining the newest trend of frog mouthing, in which caterpillars film or photograph themselves near frog’s mouths.  Posting the video or picture on YouTube or SNS is an integral part of the game.

However, this fad turned tragic when one year-old caterpillar, Josh Ketzlwyck of Indiana was fatally eaten while frog mouthing.  The incident was caught on tape by friend, 10 month-old Chip “Skeeter” Wendel and uploaded to YouTube.

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Man Frames Octopus for Murder or Vice-Versa, Trial Ongoing in South Korea

In Incheon, South Korea, a bizarre murder trial is taking place surrounding the 2010 death of a 22 year-old woman, referred to as Ms. Y.  The defendant is her boyfriend, 31 year-old Mr. K.  Prosecutors are demanding that Mr. K be sentenced to death for her murder.

With a key piece of evidence missing, he must convince the court of his side of the story: an octopus did it.

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Some photos recently posted on reddit of a shopping mall in central Osaka surprised those not living Japan some of whom wanted to live in the mall. This, in turn, surprised Japanese people who didn’t know it was that amazing to others.

The mall, aptly named Namba Parks certainly looks beautiful from this angle but there is actually function as well as form at work here.

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“Paranormal Homerun” That has Baffled Everyone Scientifically Explained

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7r34KTpM2M?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en-US&autohide=2&wmode=transparent&w=640&h=360%5D

We usually hear of pitchers utilizing killer breaking balls to earn need strikes in clutch moments, but how often do you see a batter hit what appears to be a curve ball in what Japanese baseball fans have dubbed the “paranormal homerun.”

The above video was taken during the sixth inning of a game between the (Tokyo) Yomiuri Giants and the Yokohama DeNA BayStars on 26 August. You have to watch it carefully, but if you follow this homerun, it seems to clearly change its trajectory – almost as if it was bouncing off some invisible object.

What followed was a flurry of speculation and theories ranging from the logical to the ridiculous However, one video on YouTube almost certainly has closed the case on this magical hit.

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Japan Develops Lantern Which Runs Solely on Salt and Water, Makes You Wish You Paid More Attention in School

Electronics company Greenhouse is set to release a lantern that runs on just salt and water. It uses that old favorite of high school science teachers everywhere, electrolysis, in combination with efficient light producing LEDs to provide strong and long lasting light free of conventional batteries.

And that lesson seemed so useless when I was doing it…

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Expensive “Cybernetic Mumification” of Japan’s Tree of Hope Draws Criticism from the Net

The city of Rikuzentakata was thoroughly devastated by the March 11 tsunami.  However, following the destruction a single 27 meter 200 year-old pine tree was left standing, the sole survivor of a forest of 70,000 trees along the coast line.  The tree had become a symbol of hope for the country and local government vowed to protect it at all costs.

However, for the past year the tree’s health had been fading fast and it doesn’t have much longer to live.  And so the city’s government is going to enact a preservation scheme which is rubbing Japanese netizens the wrong way due to its 150,000,000 yen (US$1.9M) price tag.

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Japan Set to Erect 7.5 Meter Middle Finger Salute to Incoming Tsunamis

Needless to say, Japan has had their fill of Tsunamis.  After the devastation of the 11 March Tohoku earth quake, the nation would like to give a huge FU to any future tsunami coming our way.

And so, three huge Japanese contractors are working on a special surprise for the next tsunami that tries to hit the shores of Wakayama prefecture in the form of a gigantic steel column. If successful it would be so poetically beautiful… if the Japanese only knew the beauty of the middle finger.

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Mamma Mia! Italians Think Japanese Eat Sushi Off of Naked Women?

Recently our correspondent Kuzo was interviewing pizzerias in Sicily.  As a result he found himself eating pizza all day every day. Being a gastronomic pro, our reporter was unfazed, but suddenly wondered how the sushi in Italy was.  Figuring Sicily’s excellent seafood may yield some equally good sushi, he tracked down a restaurant in Palmero.

However, what he found was so shocking, he couldn’t even remember how the sushi tasted.  Kuzo had stumbled on the fabled practice of nyotaimori – eating sushi off naked women.

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Japanese Men and Women Rank Which Countries They’d Look to for a Mate

A lot of people have romantic fantasies of hooking up with someone from another country.  Yet there are rare opportunities for the mystery and novelty of such a relationship for most people.  That shouldn’t stop us from dreaming of it though.

The folks at MyNavi set up a survey asking men and women what country besides Japan they’d go in search of a girlfriend or boyfriend.  Based on this survey here are the top 5 countries for both Japanese men and women and reasons for their choices.

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Commuters, Mothers and Government Bump Heads Over Baby Buggy Posters

Japan is a country notorious for its high level of politeness.  However, deep within its tangled, serpentine train system, common courtesy is often cast aside and Thunderdome rules apply.  I’ve seen grown men push aside old ladies and old ladies push aside me in order to get the best spot.

This being the case, Tokyo Metropolitan Area’s rail companies and the city itself began to spread over 5,000 posters calling for passengers to give some leeway to women with baby carriages.  As a result, they have received over 1,000 complaints and growing.

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On 20 August, a lengthy flight delay turned ugly at an airport in Beijing, where frustrated customers complaining snowballed into a scene from a zombie movie.  In the middle of the fracas someone took a video and posted it on the internet.

In the video, a peculiar image of an airline employee just lying motionless on the floor has people asking: “Did he confuse his ‘what to do during a customer complaint’ manual with his ‘what to do during a bear attack’ one?”

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[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyHYAqscV1E?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en-US&autohide=2&wmode=transparent&w=640&h=360%5D

AKB48, the darlings of the Japanese pop scene, may have danced one step over the line sweet Jesus with their newest commercial for Puccho candy.  The commercial first aired on 25 August and seems to have drawn a collective “yuggghhh” from the nation.

In it the girls dance away brandishing the product as only they can do.  Except this time, all but one of their bodies have been digitally replaced by 5 and 6 year olds.

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Flat-Screen Folk Art Rallies to Save the Surprisingly Deep Culture of Putting Stuff on Top of Your TV Set

After the recent switch from analog to digital terrestrial broadcasting in Japan, more and more people are making the switch to flat screen units.  And as the streets find themselves more and more littered with discarded boxy cathode ray tube model TV’s, Japan may have accidentally thrown something else in the trash – a piece of their culture and heritage.

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