Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 173)

Briefs in Brief: Top Underwear Developments in Japan

Things are getting busy for the unsung hero of clothing, underwear.  In recent years developments in the underwear technology sector have been coming in fast and furious.

The following is a report of some progressive underpants that promise to cut smells, back pain and will rub your belly while you sleep.

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Clogged Toilet? Just Hire an Idol from Yahoo! Auctions to Take Care of It

After the entame (entertainment) section of Japan’s Yahoo! Auction opened, the innovative “heavy-metal idols” Alice Juban almost immediately put themselves under the hammer for a live performance to an audience of one winning bidder.

It looks like other idol groups are following suit and making use of the online auction site as a way to promote themselves.  As a result, the entame section is beginning to look more like Craig’s List since you can now rent a member of five-piece girl group BiS (Brand-new idol Society) to clean your home for 3 hours.

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Hatsune Miku Stars in Humanless Opera “THE END”, It Ain’t Over ‘Till the Incredibly Skinny Vocaloid Sings

Yamaguchi Center for Arts and Media is about to add a new twist to a classical performance.  At the beginning of December they are set to hold probably the first ever Vocaloid opera, titled THE END.

The opera is supported by a strong production team but was recently announced to have gotten some brand name backing from the fashion industry.  Fashion world titan Marc Jacobs and a team from Louis Vuitton are lending their talents to costume the lead Hatsune Miku.

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The Slow Rise to Success of the Stapleless Stapler, Japan’s Latest Office Trend Poised to Take the World

Get ready to say goodbye to staples.  Not the office supply chain, those little metal pins we’ve relied on for so long to fasten papers together.  Japan is currently undergoing the no-staple revolution thanks to some innovative new products that have surprisingly been around for a long time – stapleless staplers!

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Better Soccer through Feng Shui, Change of Place Hoped to Beef Up China’s National Team

The Chinese Football Association (CFA) has had their hands full for a long time with their lackluster international national team. To add insult to injury, fans of Chinese soccer have grown even more disillusioned due to allegations of corruption in recent years.

Chinese media reports that the longstanding woes of the national team were due to some bad qi floating around the CFA headquarters. Apparently, having a building facing North by Northwest makes your executives degenerate gamblers.

However, by applying the principals of feng shui to their new offices perhaps the association can flow into a reversal of fortune.

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Mercedes-Benz Creates Anime Series or Commercial… or Both

Mercedes-Benz seems to be pulling out all the stops to advertise their 2013 model of A-Class car, the A 180.  In fact they have created a six-minute animated feature starring the A 180, in a rollicking race for the ultimate prize titled Next A Class.

Luckily, I grew up in the era of advertisements thinly veiled as cartoons. All the Noids or Cavity Creeps in the world couldn’t sway my purchasing preferences.  Years of Chester Cheetah and Fido Dido have hardened my mind to the subliminal messages animations can carry.

So although this anime short was well made and entertaining, it in no way swayed my opinion of this sleek new A 180 that perfectly combines the high performance of a sports car with the economic sensibility of a compact.

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New Dragon Ball Z Movie Title Chosen, Limited Edition Tickets to Go on Sale

Our collective rears were tickled with the teaser trailer for a new Dragon Ball Z movie penned by its original creator, Akira Toriyama this past summer, and now a new glimpse of the new movie has arrived – the official title. Along with the announcement comes a once in a life time offer!

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Meet China’s Next Top Model: This Old Dude!

Netizens in China have been going wild for the most sensational model to ever hit the scene, 72 year-old Ping Liu Qian.  Since his breakout in the fashion industry his slender frame has held a wide range of women’s clothing styles with a grace and elegance rarely seen in the profession.

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Chinese Man Injects Pressurized Air into Anus While Cleaning Pants

We all know those high pressure air pumps that can be found at gas stations or in factories, but have you ever wondered what it would be like to stick that hose in your rear and let her rip?

Me neither.

Nevertheless, for those with a morbid curiosity, a factory worker in China was cleaning his pants with an industrial strength air pump when a slip of the wrist sent highly pressurized air rushing up his rump.  Amazingly, the 26 year-old survived to give a detailed account of his ordeal.

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Tokyo University Makes Calculator Using Robot, What It Lacks in Usefulness It Makes Up for in Cuteness

Japan is well known for both its love and skill of robots.  Free of the terminator-induced prejudices of western cultures, they have blazed the way for robotic tour guides, waitresses, fish, singers, hairdressers, waste baskets, cyclists, rock-paper-scissors players, cockroaches, butts

With so many robots, it’s hard to come up with an original one.  But they are still out there. Tokyo University’s Center for the Study of Robotics came up with Denta-kun, the calculator using robot.  Just to make it clear, the robot does not calculate. It just uses a calculator.

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The Results are in! Did The Pocky Day Challenge Defeat iPhone5 for Guinness World Record?

Last week, on 11 November, Ezaki Glico celebrated Pocky & Pretz Day (11/11) with the Try World Record campaign in which the snack maker hoped to gather the most tweets containing the name “Pocky” in one day thus entering the Guinness World Records.

The goal was set at 1.11 million tweets, for obvious visual reasons, and to defeat the previous “The Brand Name Most Tweeted in 24 Hours” record holder, iPhone5, which got 1.08 million tweets on its release day. And the winner is…

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Japan’s Newest National Stadium Design is Decided, but is it the Best Choice?

Since its construction finished in 1958, Japan’s National Stadium in Shinjuku, Tokyo has served its nation proud. It was the field of play for the 1964 Summer Olympics and survived the 2011 Tohoku earthquake unscathed.

However, with the 2019 Rugby World Cup scheduled, it was time for a makeover to the tune of (pinky finger to lips) a billion dollars!

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Sugoi Battery = Great Battery

Everyone heard about the thousands of people who were affected by a great disaster in the USA recently.  Of course, I’m talking about ultra-conservatives and the re-election of Barack Obama.

For all the people moving into Unabomber-style shacks and waiting for the inevitable collapse of American society, we have great news!  Sugoi Battery is exactly what you need to survive a disaster in the wilderness comfortably!

The name is derived from the Japanese word sugoi, which means great, awesome, kick-ass, and all that.  So you can imagine it’s quite the power supply.

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A lucky Twitter user came across a pamphlet the other day outlining some great deals on smartphone services.  These people will go through the painstaking task of installing your smartphone apps for you at the low low price of 1,000 yen (US$12) an app!

In fact, they offer a wide range of useful services, such as installing Facebook, Twitter, or Skype— also for 1,000 yen each!  And I always thought those were apps too.  Boy, is my face red. I’m going to leave it to the professionals from now on.

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Man’s Wife Becomes Addicted to New Animal Crossing, Turns to Yahoo Answers for Help, Actually Gets Help

The latest installment of the Animal Crossing series Animal Crossing: New Leaf was released in Japan on 8 November and sold out across the country soon after.  It was such a success that the president of Nintendo had to issue assurances via Twitter that more copies were on the way.

For those unfamiliar with the franchise, Animal Crossing is a game with no set objective.  You simply exist as the only human in a quaint forest village of anthropomorphic animals.  You live out your days there any way you want, fishing, landscaping, shopping, and so on.

For one man, the new game ushered in an age of darkness for his household.  His wife had become a slave to the friendly sheep and dogs who inhabit Animal Crossing.  Rather than spending time with her husband, she was fishing for a trout to trade to Tom Nook for a lava lamp.

Disheartened, the man took the last resort of the damned. The one place wretched souls go to for answers before giving up completely – Yahoo! Answers.

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Looking back at the violence that occurred in the anti-Japan protests in September, I’m still baffled at why those regular people got so crazy over a land dispute between two governments in some remote area.  Maybe I’m the only one who lacks that patriotic spirit that compels one set fire to a factory over zoning issues.

Or perhaps like almost every world event in history, there are more complex – usually economic – factors at play beneath the surface. At least that’s what a group of Japanese writers and journalists claim.  According to them, the stage was set for this explosion of anger years before it happened.

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Chinese Railway Worker Suspended for “F**k’em Gangnam Style” Song Parody

Boy that Gangnam Style is one catchy tune.  The Korean smash hit has transcended international boundaries like few others before it.  When I fry my eggs in the morning I “flip’em Gangnam style” and when I’m retiling the bathroom I can’t help but “grout’em Gangnam style.”

One day, a railway worker in China was feeling down about his job and needed to let out some emotions about it.  Unfortunately, he decided to “vent’em Gangnam style” and record it… and upload it to a popular Chinese video sharing site.  You can probably imagine what happened from there – imagine it Gangnam style.

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Japan Develops Fart-Deodorizing Underwear: Silent and NOT Deadly

Gather around boys and girls, we’re going to hear a frank and serious story about smelly farts, butts, underpants, and old people smell.  More importantly, this story is about the man who may make all of these things extinct.

This story follows the creation of Inodore, a Japanese-made material that did something to stop not only fart smells, but a range of other body odors deemed “unpleasant” by society.  This company has found a method to eliminate foul smells from the body without the use of any harmful chemicals or powerful perfumes.

Their clothing products currently on sale can trap and eliminate everyday body odors like sweat and gas by over 95%, 80% of which is erased in the first 30 seconds of contact.

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Meet the Great White Hope of Japanese Snowboarding: 14 Year-Old Miyabi Onizuka

Snowboarding is still a young event in the Olympics, yet Japan hasn’t been able to score a medal.  This has been frustrating for the country that hosted the first snowboarding event in ’98 and as whole has widely embraced the sport on a recreational level.

Well, here comes a new challenger! Out of Kumamoto Prefecture, 14 year-old prodigy Miyabi Onizuka is tapped to be the next big thing in Japanese snowboarding.

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