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Japanese Twitter users and the tale of the broken battery

One of the benefits of living in a modern society is letting other people worry about building all the stuff we use–like cars or blenders or cell phones. After all, do you really know what’s going on inside an internal combustion engine or how your juicer works? Well, okay, actually, you might know, but even so, it’s fair to say that the average person probably doesn’t have a very clear idea of how all their appliances–kitchen or otherwise–were actually put together.

And there’s nothing wrong with that! That’s the whole point of living in a society–DIYers and insane survivalists aside–specialization is what lets us have so much cool stuff. But sometimes our ignorance can lead to certain, um, embarrassing situations, as one Japanese Twitter user recently learned.

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Here are the weirdest things you can buy on Alibaba’s English site

Alibaba, the enormous Chinese e-commerce company, is about to file for an IPO in the U.S.

The two most popular Alibaba websites — Taobao and Tmall — are Chinese marketplaces and rather inaccessible if you don’t know the language, but there’s also Alibaba.com, an English site for sales between importers and exporters in more than 240 countries.

Alibaba.com has been known to sell different types of well-disguised counterfeit goods. Not only that, but a lot of the stuff on the site is just straight up bizarre or oddly labeled (we found quite a few normal products that for some reason had the phrase “hot” or “girl” tacked onto them).

We dug around Alibaba.com, and here are some of the gems we found:

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Japanese women dish about being betrayed by their female friends

To all of our lovely women readers out there – have you ever felt betrayed by another female friend? Perhaps you were deceived and taken advantage of. Perhaps the coworker you trusted as your confidant was surreptitiously spreading scandalous rumors about you behind your back. Whatever the situation was, it was sure to have been an unpleasant experience.

A recent survey on popular Japanese site Mynavi Woman asked its female readers the same question as above. Dozens of women shed light about backstabbing friends and unbelievable scenes from the past. Have any of the following situations ever happened to you?

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Doraemon meets Dragon Ball in the weirdest mash up we’ve seen today

Writing for RocketNews24, we get to see some unusual stuff nearly every day. The Internet, in all its infinite wisdom and fluffy kittens, can get pretty weird sometimes, as you are all probably very well aware. And that’s fine! When you’re tapping into the collective consciousness of the whole globe, you should expect to find the unexpected. But sometimes you really hit the wacky gold. Like this cartoon of Doraemon mashed together with Dragon Ball, complete with strained voice acting, over-the-top sound effects, and the most painful battles we’ve ever seen. It’s…look, you should just go ahead and click to read more now.

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Real-life barbie bares real-life face in minimal makeup selfies【Photos】

Real-life Barbie Valeria Lukyanova, regular fixture of blogs worldwide, has caused another stir, but this time it’s not because she’s said something offensive or downright ridiculous. After making virtual waves with her outrageous makeup, fashion, and philosophy, Valeria’s now making a splash by taking it all off.

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Sulky Shiba can’t hear you… or can he!? 【Video】

Unlike cats, dogs are usually pretty easy to win over. Constantly seeking praise and approval, with a few “good boy”s and a scratch behind the ear they’ll immediately cheer up and want to be friends again. You can praise a cat until you’re blue in the face — it neither wants nor needs your approval, and if it’s not in the mood, you’ll soon know about it.

This little shiba inu, though, looks especially irked, and is making no secret of the fact that he’s cross by ignoring his owner no matter what she says or does. All until…

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Japan’s pets approve of Muji bean bags, put on a masterful display of laziness 【Photos】

Last week, we brought you Japanese retail company Muji’s guide to getting nothing done thanks to the comfort and unparalleled lethargy inducing qualities of the mighty bean bag chair. Well, it seems that some of our canine and feline friends have been paying close attention, and no sooner had their owners picked one up, immediately began showing us all how to use Muji’s popular bean bag chairs properly.

Judging by these photos, these little guys are clearly the true relaxation ninjas of the land.

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Monster parents evolve: The unbelievable demands and complaints made by parents in Japan

‘Monster parents’ aren’t anything new in Japan–the complaints by and about overbearing, demanding mothers and fathers have been on the increase for nearly a decade. But thanks to a report by the FujiTV program Nonstop, the issue has catapulted squarely back into the public conscious.

The show posted some of the crazier complaints allegedly made by these loudmouthed parents to schools and their kids’ teachers, sparking angry and bewildered comments online. We’ve collected some of the best (worst?) below.

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Men and women. Even when we’re all speaking the same language, it seems like we’re saying completely different things. If you’ve ever grumbled to a friend about not understanding what women and/or men really want, then you will definitely be able to sympathize with this one. Here are 10 tweets from Japanese Twitter users explaining what they think the differences between what women and men mean…even when they’re saying the exact same things! After reading this, you’ll probably have a better idea of why it often seems like the sexes just can’t understand each other. You’ll also probably be no closer to figuring out what they’re telling you…

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A quick refresher on the difference between Macau, Hong Kong, and Mainland China

The artist who created a super-helpful explainer on the differences among England, the UK, and the British Isles is back, this time with a primer on China.

If you’ve ever traveled from Macau to Hong Kong to mainland China, you’ll notice that your passport gets stamped every time. Each one has its own government, money, police force, schools, and even languages.

But Hong Kong and Macau are not their own countries, despite the fact that Hong Kong had its own team in the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Check out the video below for the quick, correct, and funny explainer, which will make you feel a lot more confident about any future Macau, Hong Kong, or China references.

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Adorable judo girls still years away from making us scared, already able to make us smile

In a way, small children are scary. Their language skills aren’t fully developed, so you can’t negotiate with them. When they’re angry, their lack of adherence to societal norms means they’re likely to scream at or even bite you. Really, the only thing that keeps them from being paralyzingly frightening is the superior size and strength we have as full-grown adults.

So when we first heard about toddlers practicing judo, which would eventually allow them to use our strength against us, we assumed they must be terrifying. Then we watched this video, and learned that they’re somehow even more adorable as a result of their training in Japanese grappling techniques.

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The honesty of children: 3-year-old’s greeting tells father how little time he spends at home

As we’ve talked about before, overtime is pretty common in Japan. At a startling number of companies, it is not considered in the least bit unusual to find staff, who are contracted and only being paid to be there between 8:30 am and 6 pm, still at their desks until 9, 10, or 11 at night. Others may leave the office a little earlier, but are often wrangled into drinking with the boss or entertaining clients until all hours. Others still even work on weekends and, returning home late at night, only see their family while they’re sleeping.

Dutiful partners may grin and bear it when their husband or wife is absent from home for such enormous stretches of time, but kids only speak the truth. Like this little one who, on her father returning home seemingly for the first time in a long time, greeted him like you might a guest or customer to a restaurant…

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Fans and industry veterans celebrate Gundam’s 35th anniversary

Gundam fans worldwide, including those in the industry, are taking to Twitter, Pixiv, and other social media to celebrate the 35th anniversary of Mobile Suit Gundam, which began airing on April 7, 1979. The messages have been including artwork, photos of gunpla, and more.

Here are some of our favorites:

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Japanese netizens react to Action Movie Kid on YouTube

One of the worst things about being an adult is not getting to play pretend anymore–or, at the very least, getting angry looks from grumpy old neighbors when you do. Your boss is almost guaranteed not to be amused by you shouting, “The floor is lava!” and then leaping onto your desk. We suppose that’s the best reason to have a kid–no one will complain about you playing pretend with your son or daughter!

Well, one parent has taken their pretend playing with their kid to an entirely different dimension. Thanks to computer graphics skills honed through working at freaking DreamWorks, this guy has made his son’s pretend play into reality and wowed netizens across Japan while doing so.

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16 Manga Mash-ups including Attack on Crayon and Pooh’s Bizarre Adventure

Anime and manga tend to have an overall defining style that has evolved (or devolved depending how you look at it) over the ages. However, it’s really a far more diverse collection of artwork ranging from the cartoony fun of Sazae-san and Crayon Shin-chan to the stark yet attractive contrasts of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and eerie atmosphere that opened Attack on Titan.

So what if we took these different styles and smashed them together like so many mud pies at my 10-year high school reunion? Why, these 16 drawings found on Twitter of course.

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Tuffy Rhodes, all-star baseball player in Japan, wows basketball crowd with kindness

As many of our readers probably already know, baseball is incredibly popular in Japan–in fact it sometimes seems as if Japanese folks love the sport more than people from the US. Japanese fans can be truly fanatical and they gladly follow everything from the local team to the major leagues, which makes it no wonder that so many Japanese players eventually make their way to the US.

Of course, it’s not uncommon to see players going the opposite direction across the Pacific, with MLB players coming to Japan to play professionally. One of the best example has to be Tuffy Rhodes, who played for the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox before moving to the Nihon Professional Baseball league in the mid-1990s. Tuffy recently became a bit of an Internet sensation thanks to his good will and kindness at sports games. The weird thing was that it wasn’t even a baseball game!

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New hands-free binoculars let you see far, look like something out of One Piece

Don’t you hate it when you’re out birding in Tibet and you spot a Sillem’s Mountain Finch? The find itself is great of course, but immediately upon sighting it you want to light up a cuban cigar in order to celebrate, in accordance with birdwatching tradition. The problem, is you have to put down your binoculars to do so, thus potentially losing sight of the rare bird.

To address this problem that we all must deal with at one point in our lives, a Shanghai wholesaler is offering “Meganegata Sogankyo” or “Glasses-type Binoculars” which allow you to see long distances while retaining the use of both your hands, in the most steampunk way possible.

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His name is Balse and he looks like Colonel Muska: Japanese netizens go wild for new French PM

Japanese netizens are bursting with excitement about Manuel Valls, who was appointed as France’s new Prime Minister this week. But what are these Twitter users so astounded about? Well, the newly appointed Prime Minister supposedly bears a striking resemblance to evil genius Colonel Muska, from Hayao Miyazaki’s 1986 movie Castle in the Sky.

And what’s more, in Japanese his name sounds just like barusu or “balse”, the incantation from Castle in the Sky. So this new guy not only looks like a character from the classic animated movie, his name also happens to be the movie’s most important word – which, incidentally, is a record-breaking Twitter meme in its own right.

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Sailor Uranus & Neptune make it to LogoTV’s character semi-finals

LogoTV, the lifestyle channel targeting gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender demographics, is holding a “Gayest Cartoon Tournament.” Sailor Moon characters Haruka Tenoh/Sailor Uranus and her partner Michiru Kaioh/Sailor Neptune have successfully made it to the semi-finals. The duo is competing against South Park’s Big Gay Al. If they win, they will go to the finals round against eitherFamily Guy’s Stewie or American Dad’s Roger.

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Japanese Twitter user ruins Thomas the Tank Engine for everyone with ultra-creepy drawing

Well, that’s a much-loved part of my childhood ruined forever…

I have fond memories of rushing home as quickly possible every Monday afternoon circa 1986, pulling my mother along behind me after she had kindly come to meet me from school, and constantly asking her what time it was, fretting that I might miss even a snippet of the opening credits of kids’ TV show Thomas and Friends.

Had I known that there was just some creepy nude guy inside that little blue tank engine, though, I might have instead dragged my feet as much as possible so as not to give my four-year-old self, already with a highly active imagination and a fear of anything that wasn’t my cat or jam sandwiches, any additional nightmare fuel.

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