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Preston Phro

Preston Phro (or simply Phro as most know him) is a Coloradoan attempting to fit in in Tokyo. (Surely, he would succeed if not for his unruly hair.) He puts his master's in classical Japanese literature to good use by writing silly stories and articles for the Internet. Having lived in Nara, Osaka, and Yamaguchi before moving to the Kanto area, he's quite happy to finally have a place to call home! When not writing, he enjoys annoying his wife by plucking at his shamisen (a three-stringed Japanese instrument not entirely unlike a banjo) and pestering her with questions about Japanese history. He also occasionally attempts to remember all the stuff he's forgotten since university.

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Posted by Preston Phro (Page 32)

That’s a nice mouse you have there. Be a shame for something to…happen to it…

The best and worst part about having siblings is the practical jokes. Or, to put it another way, the best thing about having siblings is getting revenge! Judging from the blurred picture above, can you guess what sort of fun an older brother had at his younger sibling’s expense?

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15-year-old girl tries to scam adult out of $40,000 – gets caught dressed like a businessman

What is with the kids these days? First, it was high school students committing gruesome murders and now it’s middle school students getting involved in telephone scams.

It’s enough to make you shout, “Are the kids alright??”

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3DS games popping out and running away? Cyber Gadget has the solution!

Apparently, there’s a bit of a problem with some Nintendo 3DS and 3DS LL consoles: Game cards are literally popping out of the portable devices without warning.

This can be a pretty serious problem, too. It can result in the loss of unsaved progress, or even the game card itself zooming off and going missing or being damaged. But fear not! Cyber Gadget has a solution.

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Studio Ghibli’s Hayao Miyazaki to retire from filmmaking

Studio Ghibli announced on September 1 that Hayao Miyazaki is retiring. The director will hold a press conference on Friday to further explain the reasons for his retirement.

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Japanese mother compares child-rearing techniques in the US and Japan, finds mixed results

Raising children is always difficult, regardless of the country you live in. Whether it’s changing diapers or dealing with the “terrible twos,” it can sometimes seem like children exist solely to make their parents’ lives difficult.

But certain cultural and social factors can have a big impact on the whole process, as one Japanese mother explains after moving back to her home country after many years in the US.

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We visit sake brewer Yamanashi Meijo and our mouths fall in love!

When people think of Japanese alcohol, they almost inevitably think of sake, and with good reason! More accurately known as nihonshu, or “Japanese alcohol,” the rice-wine drink has played an essential role in Japanese culture for centuries.

But as delicious as some may find it, it’s not for everyone, even if drinking it would make you healthy, wealthy, and wise… or at least healthier. The taste can take a little getting used to, so it’s hardly surprising to find someone who’d rather just have a nice cold beer. But maybe they’re just drinking the wrong sake!

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Emo kitty haz a sad, needs your hugs

Life, as they say, is not fair. Sometimes it rains on your birthday. Sometimes your boss yells at your for jamming the printer when you haven’t used it in weeks. Sometimes your boyfriend/girlfriend decides your clothes would look better strewn across the front lawn. And, sometimes, you just have a sad face.

We’re not sure which of these problems is afflicting this poor emo kitty from Japan, but he clearly needs a hug.

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Need eye drops? There’s an unnecessarily complicated machine for that!

So let’s say you spend all day staring at a screen–computer screen, TV screen, smartphone screen, Death Star targeting screen. It doesn’t really matter what screen, since they all emit a lot of blue light–which can be hard on your eyes. So, you want to protect your vision, but what do you do? You should get some eye drops!

Unfortunately, as you probably know, getting the eye drops from the bottle into your eyeballs is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. Almost as difficult as getting Comiket attendees to bathe. But have no fear! Omocoro, the Photoshop wizards, are here to save the day with a Pythagorean device!

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Lexus car ceremony is eerily reminiscent of a…funeral??

This must be a summer for fake funerals. In July, Hatsune Miku found herself interred in Nico Nico Douga videos following a politician’s speculative remarks. And now a Lexus car is at the center of a new round of Internet amusement after some commenters noted that the company’s “car delivery ceremony” is oddly similar to a funeral.

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Japanese-language Chinese news site predicts future of aircraft carriers, uses sci-fi images

As the proverb goes, “necessity is the mother of invention,” and nothing produces necessity like war. For better or for worse—mostly for worse—war and military conflict have played a large role in technological progress throughout the history of humankind. While we seem to finally be calming down a little bit as a species in some regards, it is obvious that war is not over and will probably be around for many years to come. And, of course, no one wants to be the country that got left behind in the arms race, right? Still, when you see some of the predictions about the future of aircraft carriers from this Chinese news site, you might wonder if they haven’t mistaken “possible future” with “science fiction TV show.”

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Dangan Ronpa and Ted come together for some bear-y cute naughtiness!

Though Ted may be the most-well-known naughty teddy bear in the world, he is by no means the only one. We imagine that Monokuma, of the murder-mystery game/manga/anime Dangan Ronpa, may be a close Japanese second with its cackling and murderous tendencies. For fans of both of the animated characters, it might seem like a perfect match to have these black-humored bears on the screen together.

Alas, there’s probably no one mad enough to approve that combination, right?

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Teacher beats student over flippant comment, only loses 1/10 of salary

We can almost, kind of, maybe a little bit, understand why some teachers get angry enough to hit their students. When thinking about high school, there are enough cringe-worthy moments of complete jerkery where one wouldn’t blame a teacher for reaching out and slapping certain students across the mouth.

That’s not to say that such behavior is acceptable, of course! Only that, in some cases, maybe we can kind of get how infuriating students can be.

This is not one of those cases.

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Road sign encourages safe driving while bringing laughter to the Internet masses

While governmental agencies aren’t exactly known for their sense of humor, accidental or otherwise, we occasionally get a nice surprise, like the road sign above. It reads, simply enough, “Feeling sleepy while driving / When will you take a break? / How about now!”

“Hunh? What’s so funny about that,” you ask.

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Woman ties herself up at home and calls police to get out of going to work

No matter how great your job as a chocolate taster may be, there will eventually come a day when you wake up, roll over, and think, “Oh, gawd, I do not want to go to work today!”

Now, if you were a normal person, you might lounge in bed for a few minutes before sighing and forcing yourself up. Or, if you were really desperate, you might even call in with a fake cough or a miserable story about your Aunt Mildred who fell and broke her spleen and needs a spleen cast.

Then again, if you were this 20-something woman in Tokyo, you might come up with an altogether more, uh, unique plan.

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NHK gets weather reports backwards, no one notices for months

We always suspected that the weatherman didn’t know what he was talking about, but this is just crazy.

It has recently come to light that the NHK Nagoya broadcasting office has been accidentally switching the weather reports for two prefectures. And you’ll never believe how long it took someone to notice.

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The eye PIECE for you! One Piece glasses reduce computer glare and look good doing it

So you’re a One Piece fan. You have the ice cream maker from KFC, you’ve stayed in the hotel room, and you never leave your house without your One Piece water cooler. But you still want more One Piece in your life! What’s a fan to do?

Well, why not slap your favorite character across your face and walk around like that all day??

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We checked out tourou nagashi in Asakusa and loved the beautiful floating lanterns!

In case no one told you, it’s obon this week in Japan! For many people this means a well-deserved long vacation and a trip home. It also means lots of fun cultural events. As you may know, obon is a Buddhist holiday all about the spirits of deceased ancestors coming back for a short visit. Tourou nagashi, literally “lanterns flowing,” is a special ceremony where, as the name implies, lanterns are set afloat, usually down a river. It’s a fun way to spend your evening and an incredible sight as well! This week, we headed to Azuma Bridge in Asakusa, Tokyo to check out the ceremony!

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Explosion-proof membranes won’t keep your phone from blowing, but it might save you from the shrapnel

It looks like the world is facing a new pandemic, but we’re not talking about any viruses or diseases here. No, we’re talking about exploding smartphones. From Europe to the United States to China, more and more cases of phone batteries blowing themselves apart are surfacing, stirring up concern for many. No longer can we fling perturbed birds at their giggling pork nemeses without worrying that our phones will blow our faces off. While the safest option would probably be to simply avoid having one, what would we do without our smartphones on the train, at work when our boss isn’t looking, or in bed at 3 am? This deep, possibly unhealthy attachment to the devices has led to an interesting new product in China: explosion-proof membranes.

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Top 10 Japanese companies over 800 years old

As you’re probably aware, Japan has quite the lengthy history, stretching back thousands of years. And, as with any civilization, ancient Japan had need of commerce, which lead to the establishment of some of the oldest companies in the world.

Today, we bring you a list of our 10 favorite ancient Japanese companies. From sake to mountain-side inns to Buddhist temple construction companies, there’s something here for everyone!

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A new take on an old tradition, these amazing Obon figures are literally fresh!

As we’ve previously mentioned, it’s Obon this week in Japan, and that means festivals, dancing, and ancestral spirits galore! Far from being the terrifying ghosts that you might find lurking in your closest in a horror film like Juon, however, these are spirits that Japanese people are happy to welcome into their houses. In addition to ohakamairi, or visiting graves, Japanese people also offer symbolic sacrifices at their home alters.

Some of the more interesting traditional sacrificial items are the cucumber horses (kyuri uma) and eggplant cows (nasu ushi) meant to carry the ancestors’ spirits to and from our earthly realm, but here’s one designer’s awesome, modern take on this ancient custom!

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