funny (Page 122)

Photos reveal Yamaha and Suzuki’s startlingly different approaches to scooter storage space

In the US, you don’t see a whole lot of people putting around on tiny scooters very often. The long highway commutes and high speed limits make your standard Vespa types pretty impractical for all but the most dedicated of Williamsburg hipsters.

It’s another story in Japan, though, where road commutes are comparatively shorter and speed limits within the city are only a little faster than a light jog anyway. Scooters are a common sight and come in tons of varieties, with two of Japan’s two-wheeled vehicle heavyweights, Suzuki and Yamaha, neck and neck for market share.

But it turns out that the two companies’ nearly identical scooter designs take a remarkably different tack when it comes to storage space. Tennis enthusiasts, especially, may want to take note:

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Japanese high school teacher’s scathing, two-foot-long note to students is nothing short of epic

Being a teacher is one of the most rewarding yet difficult jobs one can do; on the one hand, you’re helping to shape the next generation, and you get to help kids learn and grow. On the other hand, though, kids will be kids, and you’ll always have those one or two students who really know how to get under your skin.

Even the most patient teacher has their limit—they’re still human after all. Like this Japanese high school teacher, who apparently had it “up to here” with students spitting their gum out on the floor. So what did he do? Wrote a scathing note of epic proportions and pinned it to the wall for all to see.

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Nintendo’s official Line account officially hates Sony’s PlayStation

Nintendo has a squeaky clean image. Its titles are family-friendly, and no other company does more to make quality video games accessible and enjoyable to inexperienced or casual players. The company managed to create a hit team-based shooter that’s completely devoid of the sort of violence that’s so commonly a selling point for the genre, and even its two most committed rivals, Mario and Bowser, regularly take time out from fighting to play golf or tennis together.

So you might expect Nintendo to have nothing but friendly affection for anyone and everyone, but its official Line account shows that rival Sony’s PlayStation is strictly excluded from the circle of good vibes.

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Mermaids and Fried Wikipedia: the art of translating menu items into English

Traveling in a country where you aren’t super confident with the lingo can be extremely daunting, and simple acts like ordering food become a bit of a nightmare. If you don’t speak the language, you won’t know what foods are on the menu or how they are prepared. Dictionaries, both paper and electronic, are definitely helpful tools when deciphering a menu and many restaurants also try to provide at least some English—one of the most used languages in the world—on their menus.

But sometimes, for all their good intentions, restaurants fail. While this may make ordering lunch a little bit trickier, it is at times like these that we are blessed with some wonderfully bad translated food names.

Today’s special dishes come compliments of restaurants in Taiwan and China that just couldn’t quite find the right words to describe their respective delicacies. Look forward to dishes including mermaids, fried Wikipedia and confused pizzas after the jump.

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18 common traits that describe the typical man, as told by Japanese Twitter

As a man, I have to admit that sometimes we can be a little confusing. Why do we do weird things like try to flavor food with burps, or lock iPhones with our butts? There are some mysteries that may never be solved.

But one Japanese Twitter user thinks they’ve found a list of 18 things that apply to pretty much every man, especially concerning relationships. Will this list help decode the confusing “man brain,” or is it just a mass of macho mumbo jumbo? Read on and decide for yourself!

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Japanese coffee maker’s commercial is dark, milky, and udderly crazy 【Video】

Not everyone loves Japanese TV, but we have to admit that one thing it has going for it is absolutely bonkers commercials. You can find weird, unsettling, funny, emotional, or even just hilarious commercials the world over, but it sometimes seems that Japan has a particularly high concentration of them. Maybe there’s something in the coffee…

And speaking of coffee, Japanese coffee brand Blendy has produced one of the most bizarre commercials we’ve seen to date, mixing absurdist comedy with unsettling, dark undertones. Oh, and milk. Lots and lots of milk.

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Japanese gamer beats insanely hard Mario course, goes insane with joy and breaks down in tears

Well, that didn’t take long. It was just a couple of days ago that we took a look at Mario Maker user PangeaPanga’s course titled Pit of Panga: P-Break and shook our heads in awe at its diabolical difficulty. While it’s true that Nintendo doesn’t allow you to upload Mario Maker levels unless you can prove they’re beatable, we wouldn’t have been surprised if no one other than PangeaPanga himself was able to clear his creation.

But in less than a week, the hardest of the hard-core have risen to the challenge, and while this video of a Japanese gamer finishing the level is a display of some impressive platforming skills, what really makes it worthwhile is the surge of adrenalin that sends him shouting his victory to the heavens, and how it leaves his body in pain and his psyche tattered as he breaks down in tears of joy at his gaming accomplishment.

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10 Japanese phrases for travelers that will help, amuse, or just plain confuse

Travelling in a foreign country can be daunting, especially if you don’t know the language. While a one-year preparatory course isn’t necessary for just a week or so in a foreign land, learning a few key words and phrases is certainly recommended.

Some time ago, travel culture website Matador Network put together a list of “10 Extraordinarily Useful Japanese Phrases for Travelers“, a mostly tongue-in-cheek collection of phrases which, while at times giving some useful material, is probably more suited for those looking to jazz up their Japanese than it is for the average traveler. For that reason, perhaps, the list recently caught the eye of Japanese net users and has been garnering a lot of attention in the language’s homeland.

Check out the list below and see what you can use!

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The latest in Japanese iPhone security: using your butthole to lock your phone 【Video】

So everyone knows you can lock/unlock your iPhone using your thumbprint. Sure, that’s great and all, but what if you want to be even more secure? After all, what’s stopping phone thieves from stealing your fingerprints and snooping through all of your secret selfies?

Have no fear, RocketNews24’s Japanese-language writers have the perfect solution: getting your iPhone to recognize your butthole. A member of the same incredibly mature team that researched how to flavor food with burps now brings you the latest in iPhone security and will show you how to make your own iPhone something that no one could ever, or would ever want to, break into.

It probably goes without saying, but this technique is a little NSFW, so be sure no judging eyes are around before you read on.

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This cat’s posture is terrible

In Japanese, one word for slouching or stooping over is nekoze or “cat back,” which is a term I never really understood until now. For years (maybe even longer) we humans have been deceived by these creatures into thinking that they’re elegant as they smoothly jump to impressive heights and stealthily crawl along the ground into narrow spaces.

But when it comes time to stand on two legs like you or I often do? Bah! Cats have all the grace and poise of one of those damn teenagers who listen to Ray Parker Jr. on their boomboxes and play Burger Time all damn day on my lawn.

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Thomas the Tank Engine’s video visit to Japan is more Japanese than life in Japan

Being that he’s a train on an island, you wouldn’t expect Thomas the Tank Engine to do much international traveling. However, thanks to a bit of clever storytelling (and Thomas’ absolute lack of compunction about stowing away on freight ships), the beloved locomotive has embarked on a globe-trotting tour in an ongoing video series.

In one of the most recent episodes, Thomas even arrives in Japan, where he takes in the local sites in a whirlwind visit that’s more Japanese than actually living in Japan.

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Japanese fan seemingly upset at Brazil soccer win trolls Tokyo Game Show toilet

Considering soccer is one sport Japanese athletes both male and female excel at compared to others, it’s easy to see why there’s so many fans of the Japan National and Women’s National Football Teams.

That’s why it may not be so surprising that after the men’s soccer team’s humiliating 0-4 defeat against Brazil last year, fans were feeling a little sour. But just how long do sports grudges last? Apparently quite awhile if you go by this picture of a certain popular Brazilian player that someone stuck in one of the urinals at the most-recent Tokyo Game Show.

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Kim Jong-un visits North Korean women soldiers, internet Photoshop battle ensues【Pics】

It has to be pretty good being Kim Jong-un. You’re the supreme dictator of a whole country, you’ve got the most fashionable haircut ever, and women flock to you and faint in your presence.

Unfortunately being so handsome and popular has one downside though: the internet. When the online hivemind got its hands on a photo of Kim Jong-un visiting the female division of his divine army, they created some hilarious Photoshop masterpieces that are truly fitting for such a respected leader.

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Which anime fighting techniques would win in real life? Fans give their answer with comedic video

A couple of American anime fans (well, at least one of them is anyway…) recently released a YouTube video that imagines a super obsessive anime enthusiast trying out his favorite techniques from the anime worlds he’s grown up watching.

Most of the techniques provide less-than-stellar results (spoiler: writing a person’s name in a “Death Note” doesn’t work), but a surprise last-ditch attempt proves much more successful. Let’s watch:

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Luxuriously lounging kitty does not care that you want to play this arcade game

The musical rhythm games that are fixtures at Japanese arcades blur the line between video games and public performance. Even those who don’t see what’s so special about a 10-hit Tekken combo or one-credit shooter play-through can find themselves enthralled with tempo-perfect drumming or dancing, and expert rhythm gamers often garner a crowd of impressed onlookers watching them play.

The audience for this arcade dancer, though, didn’t consist of a throng of people, though, but instead a single kitty.

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That moment when Google Maps tells you there’s a crab claw somewhere…and there actually is!

Japan is full of places with unusual names, like Kinugawa (“Angry Demon River”), which caused all the flooding earlier this month. So, it’s understandable that when someone sees a place marked Crab Claw (“カニの爪” pronounced “kani no tsume”) on Google Maps, they might think it’s the name of a hill or some quirky little fishing village.

But one Japanese Twitter user decided to investigate and went to get a look at what this “Crab Claw” actually was. It turns out Google Maps wasn’t being coy or silly — it was being 100 percent literal!

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Japanese entertainer getting laughs and friends overseas with hilarious English performances

Japan has an incredibly rich history of traditional performing art forms that have lasted through the centuries. It has noh, kabuki and bunraku, all of which provide classical entertainment even if you have no idea what is happening. Another popular form of Japanese entertainment is rakugo, which involves a lone storyteller sitting on a stage, telling comical stories with only two props traditionally: a fan and a small cloth. So while the rest of the world has stand-up comedians, Japan has sit-down comedians. All of these performances though have one small problem for foreigners, though: they’re almost always in Japanese.

That’s where Showko enters the scene. A brilliant entertainer who has traveled the world with her hilarious Rakugo performances and ventriloquist acts has been taking the comedy world by storm. Learn more about some of her performances and where to see her after the jump.

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Insults from around the world: an “educational video” that crosses boundaries【Video】

Many people dream about learning another language, and the possibilities and opportunities a second or third language open up are incredible. However, for a lot of us, it’s difficult to put in the time and effort to properly learn an entire language so that we can use it proficiently. There’s grammar, vocabulary, speaking, writing and listening; it’s just a whole lot to take in.

So while absolute fluency is the goal we all aim for, just being able to insult someone in a different language is a nice second place prize. This isn’t just a crass video about spouting off all the improper words, though. As one person puts it, this is “So the world will know if someone insults a foreigner.” The more you know!

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Korean “restaurant” just for singles has a romantic surprise 【Video】

Eating out by yourself can feel a little awkward and embarrassing, but a restaurant in Korea billing itself as being just for single diners caught the attention of plenty of passersby. And that’s “single” diners in both senses of the word: unaccompanied and also without a boyfriend or girlfriend.

But while all of the diners walked in lacking a romantic partner, some of them significantly improved their dating prospects while they filled their stomachs, thanks to a special surprise that was waiting for them.

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Chewbacca and Darth Vader show up in the mountains of Japan thanks to cosplaying outdoorsman

There are certain things you expect to find when hiking through the mountains of Japan, like towering waterfalls, serene temples, and little stands selling soba noodles and dumplings. If you’re lucky, you might even run into some of those awesome hot-spring bathing monkeys.

And if you’re really lucky, you’ll bump into Chewbacca and Darth Vader if you happen to be on the same trail as this cosplayer and his awesome outfits.

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