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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 134)

Keisuke Honda’s award-winning fragrance leaves some wondering if his head is still in the game

It’s safe to say that the current main sports in Japan are baseball and soccer. The older of the two, Japanese baseball, can be defined by its players’ almost militaristic commitment to the game developed through the harsh training they undergo as youths.

However, with soccer, it’s not uncommon to see players with shaggy long hair or even dye jobs, and along with that a new attitude to playing professional sports in Japan. As a result, the nation may be witnessing its first true sports celebrity in Keisuke Honda: AC Milan and Japanese National Team forward and now an award-winning perfumer.

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All You Can Eat salmon for 999 yen at IKEA’s Salmon Festival!

Fans of the famously delicious fish salmon in Japan should grab your bibs because the Salmon Festival is rolling into IKEA stores all over the country. On this joyous occasion we may dine on 16 different kinds of salmon dishes.

Of course it wouldn’t be a festival if it weren’t all-you-can-eat as well, so IKEA is making that happen for the attractive price of only 999 yen (US$8.30) for a limited time.

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Pico Cassette looks to keep cartridge games alive in a smartphone world

Music has all but gone entirely digital. Video rental stores are a critically endangered species. Even video games are steadily moving towards more online distribution. At this rate we’ll soon be welcoming the first generation to think sticking a piece of plastic into a machine for entertainment is as attractive an idea as rubbing two sticks together for fire.

Then again, isn’t there something intrinsic in humans to want to put a cartridge or disc into something for entertainment?

That’s not a rhetorical question. I really have no idea, but the makers of Pico Cassette are hoping so. This device will load video games both new and old into your smartphone by plugging into its headphone jack.

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SoftBank prohibits intercourse with its robot Pepper

With 1,000 units set to go on sale later this month, Japanese telecom giant SoftBank has high hopes for its domestic robot, Pepper. If the company wants to achieve its dream of a Pepper in every home, however, numerous ethical issues must be considered and overcome, one of which being the thorny matter of owners who attempt to treat their little robot like an altogether different kind of helping hand.

It seems that SoftBank is already trying to keep ahead of the curve, however, by clearly stating in its documentation for Pepper that sexual acts with the cheery robot are strictly prohibited.

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Lone crayfish stands in defiance of floods

Various areas across northeast Japan have been struggling to cope with the massive amounts of rainfall that have led to flooding and landslides. The scenes of destruction have dominated the news in the past week leaving many concerned about their fellow citizens, friends, and family in the region.

However, one young woman in the area found a little message of hope from an unlikely ally, a crayfish standing tall in the middle of a flooded road with its claws raised to the sky and refusing to back down.

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Japanese Nickel Damascus knives look exquisite and a little like they’re slipping out of reality

Don’t you hate it when you get ready to do some cooking and Paul Hogan comes out of nowhere ridiculing your cookware with taunts of “Ya call that a knife?”

Me too.

That’s why next time I’ll be ready with my new Nickel Damascus Chef’s Knife forged by famous Echizen blacksmith Takeshi Saji using techniques that span the globe. Now that’s what I call a knife!

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Kochi high school set to launch Self-Defense Force training course, government totally unaware

In a recent interview, the head of Kochi Chuo High School, Masahisa Chikamori, announced that the school would be starting a Self-Defense Force Course in 2016. This course would provide students with the skills and knowledge needed to join Japan’s armed protective organization, including some combat training.

However, both the Ministry of Defense and Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science, and Technology admitted they were unaware of this training program when questioned about it.

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McDonald’s Japan to sell Anko Pies this autumn

As a leading purveyor of fatty fast food, McDonald’s is certain to have its share of detractors. It seems every time we run a story about the golden arches, commenters are all too quick to point out how the fast food restaurant’s offerings tend to be on the less healthy side (to put it diplomatically).

But even among McDonald’s more ardent opponents are those who would admit that its fried apple pies were pretty darn good. It’s perhaps that crowd that a beleaguered McDonald’s Japan is trying to appeal to with their new anko bean paste pies.

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Earlier this week, a Twitter user turned to the masses in the hope of learning the meanings behind four common gestures she had often seen in Western cartoons. While many, if not all, of these may be instantly recognizable to our readers, in Japan they are seldom seen and for that reason look understandably odd.

We’ve already examined some Japanese hand gestures; now let’s see how the other half lives as Japanese Twitter users try to unravel the meanings behind licking our fingers and touching someone or “crab-like movement and bending fingers“.

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Beauty test with yoga pose a hit with young women in China, may cause horrendous pain

Unusual poses have been big among young Chinese women over social networks recently. Late last month there was the “touch your belly button with one hand wrapped behind your back” fad. Anyone who could achieve this feat was said to have “good style”. Around the same time there was also the “put as many coins into that little divot in your collar bone” trend.

Now it appears a classic yoga pose is making the rounds. It’s called the Pashchima Namaskarasana or Reverse Prayer Pose. However, on China’s microblogging site Weibo, it’s done with the added challenge of raising your hands as high as they can go; the higher your hands can get the more beautiful you are purported to be.

What, you thought “beauty” was a measure of how others judged your outward appearance and to a lesser extent your personality? No, silly, it’s all about how well you can bend your arms behind your back…

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Thai anti-drinking PSA is surprisingly compelling 【Video】

As a child I distinctly remember anti-drug campaigns telling me to “Just say no!” and how narcotics would turn my brain into a fried egg rather than a raw one, which I guess meant that cold, transparent and runny is the optimum condition for one’s gray matter.

And after I was released from rehab for the third time, I realized that those messages were largely ineffective. This was because rather than educate about the way drugs work both chemically and socially, they simply resorted to speaking down to the viewer and giving us simple commands that we were expected to blindly obey for some reason.

Looking at the above image to an alcohol abuse PSA from Thailand, you might expect more of the same dogmatic obscurity of days past. However, this ad—as bizarre as it is—is a very persuasive and inspiring message regarding knocking off the booze and getting your life together.

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7-Eleven sells grapes with skins you can actually eat! We kid you not

Back where I come from, it wasn’t uncommon to pick a grape off its stem and pop it right into your mouth without a second’s thought. The very idea of peeling a grape was something along the lines of a diva demanding a bottled-milk bath while dining on a bowl of only red-colored Skittles.

However, in Japan, where many varieties of grape have thick or rubbery skins, peeling them is pretty much standard. In fact, whenever I eat a grape with its skin intact, I’m stared at as if I had just plucked a live spider off the wall and ate it.

That’s probably why 7-Eleven can get away with marketing their frozen bags of grapes as having “edible skins” here.

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Look like you’ve just taken a hadoken to the head with this dizzy birdy halo

Little birdies flying around someone’s injured head in cartoons and the like have been making severe physical trauma fun since time immemorial. Fans of Street Fighter II will also remember this age-old gag as that frustrating feature that would leave your character momentarily stunned and vulnerable to any attack.

Every time those baby chicks started circling, I’d suck air through my teeth and start violently slamming both hands on the joystick and buttons. Meanwhile, my opponent would just smile and slowly walk up to deliver some easy yoga noogies.

Now you too can recreate all that fun and mild annoyance with the Street Fighter II Piyoru Headband!

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Aichi man arrested for shoplifing, throwing own feces at security to escape

On the afternoon of 3 September, a 59-year-old man walked into a shopping mall in Higashi Ward, Nagoya. He then grabbed two packs of roast pork from a supermarket and concealed them as he began to leave the premises without paying. A security guard had noticed the act of petty shoplifting, however, and a chase quickly ensued.

The perpetrator was no match for the younger and more agile guard, who managed to catch the man before escaping out the parking garage. However, just as the security guard grabbed the man’s shoulder to turn him around, he was struck by an unexpected counter-attack of the most smelly kind.

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“Poo curry” restaurant now hiring interns, award-winning Tokyo University grad student applies

It’s been about two weeks since Curry Shop Shimizu opened for business in the Chitose-Funabashi area of Tokyo. Considering the only dish they sell is a curry which mimics the taste of human feces, you might expect sales to have been slow.

However, not only is business booming, the demand has become too much for owner and adult film star Shimiken to keep up. As a result he put out an ad for interns to help take his poopy curry to the next level. On top of that, if you thought Curry Shop Shimizu’s fortunes couldn’t get any better, they are attracting top-tier applicants on par with the nation’s leading corporations.

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Tanuki magically disguises self as cat to get food

Japanese raccoon dogs, or tanuki as they’re known over here, are animals with great significance in Japanese folk-lore. Among their many supernatural attributes such as giant scrota and swift speeds, the tanuki are also known for their purported shapeshifting abilities.

And though the above picture clearly dispels the size of their manhood, there appears to be some truth to their art of disguise. As the Twitter user who posted the photo explains, this little guy is actually pretending to be a stray cat so he can get some of the food laid out for him.

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Large horn growing out of woman’s head in China

The world is a wide and wonderful place, but its also full of hidden dangers and maladies that’d you’d never even expect. I try to watch my blood pressure and limit my starch intake, not for any particular reason. I mean, why wait for starch to be a problem?

I’d like to think I have all my cards in order, but then Liang Xiuzhen of Sichuan, China comes along to rock my world. She has taught me a valuable lesson that no matter how well you prepare for the future, you might still end up with an actual 13-centimeter (5-inch) by 6-centimeter (2-inch) horn growing out of your head.

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7-Eleven issues statement over the discontinued Olympic emblem, and their oden

With the Tokyo Olympic Committee (TOC) officially cutting ties with Kenjiro Sano’s much maligned emblem, one obvious question is on everyone’s lips: What does this mean for that oden poster made by the 7-Eleven in Musashikoganei, Tokyo?

Some of you may recall that this particular franchise had made a poster promoting their oden sale which bore a striking resemblance to the former Olympic emblem. After a request was made to the TOC, they had denied the poster’s commercial use and likeness to their intellectual property. However, now that the emblem will no longer be used, is the poster back in play?

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We eat Electrical Udon and Blue Curry while watching guys shoot each other with electricity

A little while back, we brought you news of Electrical Udon developed by Kurare of Arienai Rika (“Unbelievable Science”) for an event to be held in Osaka. Well, that event has come and gone, and we were fortunate enough to be there to get a taste of his technicolor noodles along with some other off-color foods like blue rice topped with even bluer curry and fried chicken with a secret green sauce.

We also got to see some of the DIY science that made Arienai Rika a cult hit with science and tech enthusiasts in Japan.

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Did someone say squid pigs? We make Russia’s cutest recipe ever

Russia is a fascinating country for many reasons, but food tends not to be one of them. For example, how many of us have a Russian restaurant in our neighborhoods? It’s not surprising as dishes with names like “borscht” don’t exactly electrify the taste buds.

But not so fast! One Russian dish has been trending online recently not only for its delicious taste but its adorable appearance as well: Squid Piglets! As you might imagine they are little pigs made out of squid and other delicious stuff.

Or, if you’re struggling to imagine such a thing, join our reporter Meg as she shows us how to make these squiggly wiggly little squid-piglets.

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