Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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All Stories by Master Blaster

Man Robs Girlfriend So He Can Buy Her Presents, Gives Love a Bad Name

Dating can be difficult and costly no matter what country you live in, but because of the economic inequality and old-fashioned customs of China it can be a down-right nightmare.

Take one Mr. Hu of Hubei Province whose girlfriend, ironically named Ms. Yuan, he had been dating for a couple months. However, because of money troubles he was unable to buy her presents and had to turn to a life of crime.

However, what could have been a romantic “man in love against the world” kind of rebel story turned out incredibly lame when the target of Hu’s criminal behavior turned out to be none other than Ms. Yuan herself.

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David’s Ding-a-Ling Drives Democratic Cancellation of Censorship on Chinese TV

Perhaps no one in history has genitals that have been as scrutinized as those of Michelangelo’s David.  An iconic piece of art considered by many to be one of the greatest, it also seems to be that fine line at which censors are universally derided for having their head up their rears.

However, when talk of the statue comes up, there’s always an unusual amount of attention paid to his package.  Such is the case in China when its state run TV channel with the ironic acronym CCTV ran a program censoring out David’s naughty bits.

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Factory Worker’s Letter of Resignation: “It’s Too Difficult to Land a Girlfriend Here.”

A letter of resignation has surfaced on the internet and made headlines in China for its contents.  It would seem that when the team leader of a certain electric motor factory discovered that it was in fact a sausage factory, he felt it was time to find other avenues of employment.

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Voting is open for the “Most Evil Corporation of the Year” Award for 2012

Established by a 10 member team including journalists, activists and University professors, the committee for the “Most Evil Corporation of the Year” (in Japanese “Black Corporation Award”) has made a shortlist of nominees each vying to be the blackest of businesses.

In Japanese, the term “black business” refers to companies who rake in huge profits while exploiting their own work force by discrimination, harassment, unpaid overtime, and short-term contracts.  This type of business is a widespread problem in Japanese society but often goes on undiscussed in mainstream media.

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Toilet Theme Park Opened In Korea, There is a Rational Explanation for This

Only 4 July, Suwon, South Korea officially opened their newest attraction; “The Restroom Cultural Park” which is the world’s first toilet theme park.  To answer the question on everyone’s mind – What the…? – we should first look at a little background on Suwon city.

This city located outside of Seoul is well known for two things.  First, the great Hwaseong Fortress ranks among UNESCO’s world heritage and has ruins which run throughout the city.  Second is their recently deceased mayor who was known affectionately as Mr. Toilet.

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HexRinger Turns Your Phone’s Vibrate Mode On and Off Based on Your Location So You Don’t Have To

How many of you forgot to put your phone into manner mode (vibrate) when going into the office or a movie theatre only to have it ring and draw the angry scowl of everyone in the room?  Of how about when you remember to turn on manner mode but when forget to turn it off you miss that important message you were waiting for?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an app that automatically turns your manner mode on or off depending on where you are?  Wouldn’t it be nice to have HexRinger?

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Robot Guide Scheduled To Work Atop Tokyo Tower Needs a Name

With the recent opening of the Tokyo Sky Tree, it’s older little brother, Tokyo Tower has its work cut out for it to gather tourists.  In an effort to break out of the shadow of the tallest tower in the world, Tokyo Tower plans to add “Japan’s first autonomously moving robot with a signboard.”

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Man Faints and Falls into Cesspool Rescuing Woman Who Fainted and Fell into a Cesspool Attempting to Rescue a Pig Who Fell into a Cesspool

Here’s a hypothetical that you can discuss with your neighbors during the next BBQ or dinner party:  One of your neighbors had fallen into a pit full of human excrement and the rest of you have to rescue them.  Who goes in?  What would you do?

This crappy situation played out in a central China province after a pig running into the cesspool of a farm resulted in two people being hospitalized.

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A Naruto Fan and Non-Fan Give Their Impressions of the Naruto Live Action Movie on YouTube

One of the most popular anime and mangas around the world in recent times has got to be Naruto.  With such fame often comes fan fiction, and thanks to the development of easily available production equipment, fan movies are an ever improving art form.

The fledgling American production team Thousand Pounds Action Company has put together a YouTube movie with an original story based on the Naruto universe.  A follow-up to their celebrated Street Fighter X Tekken video, the Naruto movie has been getting an equally good reception and then some.

However, would Naruto fans be offending with their handling of the source material, and could this tiny movie company grab the attention of non-fans with their talents? We take a look at it from both sides to see.

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Japan’s 30 Best Selling Video Games of All Time

The following is a list of the 30 most sold video games in Japan in the history of video games across all platforms.  Western Gamers may be surprised that violent shooters take a rather large backseat to RPG’s, mushroom stomping, and Pikachus in the minds of Japanese game consumers.

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Japanese Monkeys Shed Light on a “Kindness Gene”

Tokyo University’s Wildlife Research Center has discovered that a group of monkeys living on Awaji Island are more laid-back than all other monkeys in Japan.  The cause of this, they claim, is a gene that dictates our gentleness.

Researchers put an ample supply of monkey bait within an 8 meter circle marked out on the group and then observed the monkeys.  Of the monkey population on Awaji Island in Hyogo Prefecture a whopping 180 monkeys came out to enjoy the treats inside the circle together with minimal conflict. Read More

[Breakthrough] A Cursive Lower Case Y Looks Just Like Lupin III

Hot on the heels of the latest Higgs boson development, leading graphologists are in a frenzy to confirm a new hypothesis set forth by one Twitterer: A cursive English letter y bears a striking resemblance to anime’s favorite criminal Lupin III when you add little eyes, a nose and an ear.

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This Kitschy Sexy Lady iPhone Case Has a Hidden Surprise for Everyone to Enjoy

All you fellas out there know the best way to pick up women is by using playboy mud flaps while driving their van airbrushed with a painting of a seminude Valkyrie and wearing their “beaver inspector” T-shirt.

Well now you have another weapon in your arsenal of manliness guaranteed to score with the ladies.  This sexy bath tub lady iPhone case is certainly impressive by itself, but beneath the bath water lies secret that will tempt everyone to buy it.

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Was KFC’s Great Chicken Give-Away a Success? Depends on How You Look at It

This past Fourth of July, while Kentucky Fried Chicken was celebrating Independence Day in the US, KFC Japan was busy commemorating the anniversary of the fried chicken chain’s entrance into the Japanese market.

On this day they held a one-day all-you-can-eat sale where customers could get 45 minutes of non-stop chicken for 1,200 yen.  A very generous deal but how much did KFC stand to lose on such an offer, or did they lose?  Let’s crunch the numbers and see.

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We Check Into the Cheapest Hotel in Japan, US$6 a Night

Located near the center of Osaka City is an area called Kamagasaki which was once known to be a gathering place for day laborers.  Now, it’s a rather charming place where street cars run that kind of takes you back half a century.  On the other hand, beneath the surface runs some violent energy as this area is often ground zero for riots and other acts of civil disobedience.

It’s here that I went in search of the cheapest hotel in Japan, The Kimiya, where it is said one could spend the night for a mere 500 yen (US$6).

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Tomato Juice Fad Dead at 6 months

We had a lot of fun here at RocketNews informing you of the tomato juice diet fad earlier this year, followed by the shocking announcement of tomato juice preventing drunkenness.

Despite my own personal hatred for this beverage that tastes like vomit chilled in the freezer for 30 minutes, it was good to see people get into this otherwise healthy drink.

Sadly, it looks as if this fad has run its course, based on the latest tomato juice based research sponsored by juice maker Kagome.  Coroners have estimated the time of death for the fad to be 9:20pm on July 2nd.

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There’s a Camel that Drinks Coca-Cola? RocketNews24 is There!

Tunisia as we recently discovered by their beautiful can designs, seems to be a loadstone of Coca-Cola related paranormal activity.  For now our intrepid reporter has found a camel renowned for its love of Coke.  It chugs the stuff down in one swig!

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Can’t see the picture? Give your head a shake

Seriously, try shaking your head and if you don’t easily get dizzy, you should be able to see John Lennon’s face emerge among the black and white lines. Even after you stop shaking the image should linger for a moment.

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Smarter, Better, Faster, Stronger: Roachbot 2.0

The hottest toy of 2012, Roachbot, was released earlier this year amid great fanfare with its eerie resemblance everyone’s favorite kitchen guest, the cockroach.  But as Japan enters the middle of cockroach season, we find ourselves casting aside our robotic roaches to play with the real ones.

Sensing this, Japan Trust Technologies have given it a severe amping up, including support for the iPhone and iPad.

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Your Favorite Nintendo Games As You’ve Never Seen Them Before, As Traditional Japanese Prints

Ukiyo-e Heroes are a group of artists who work in the medium of tradional Japanese woodblock printing (ukiyo-e), a style most strongly associated with Japanese culture.  This group has turned their facebook page into a virtual gallery displaying their favorite muse: video games.

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