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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 162)

We Visit the A ple Sto e in Myanmar: Where Everything is a Little Off (In a Good Way)

RocketNews24 writer GO is an avid Apple fan and user of all things whose names possess a lower case “i” or the word “Mac”. As such, whenever he’s travelling it’s comforting for him to find an Apple store nearby. He can feel relieved that there’s a place to go if one of his gadgets gets out of sorts, and it’s fun to see if there are any differences in other countries.

So after checking out the f@cebook clothing store and Ronald McDonald Duck, he was pleased to see something resembling Apple’s unmistakable logo. GO rushed in, not knowing what lay in store.

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We Sample Traditional Portuguese Cuisine… at McDonald’s

Our fast food correspondent Kuzo constantly travels the world visiting exotic countries and partaking of their McDonald’s menus to see what wonders they have in store. In the past, we’ve seen him visit McDonald’s restaurants in Turkey and Russia to name a few, but now his McSight is set on Portugal. Here is his super-sized McReport, translated into English for you, our beautiful, hungry readers.

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Six People Injured by Escalator in Akihabara, Once Again Proving that People in Tokyo Use the Wrong Side of the Escalator

On 24 April at approximately 9:25 a.m., six people were injured while riding an escalator in Akihabara Station, Tokyo.

All the victims suffered injuries as serious as broken fingers when a piece of metal siding became bent upwards blocking the clearance between it and the rubber handrail.

Sadly, this digital carnage could have been easily avoided if people in Tokyo just stood on the right side of the escalator like normal people.

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Japanese Woman Dies after Heavy-Set Police Officer Sits on Her

In Sakai City, Osaka last November a woman in her 40s died from a case of hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy (HIE), a condition that occurs when oxygen is cut off from the brain.

A possible cause of the HIE is suspected to have been the 100kg (220lbs) police officer who had sat on the woman’s back like one would on a pony.

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14 Year-Old Girl’s Crime Spree Thwarted by Suzuka Police, Motive: To Laugh at Daikon Getting Run Over by Cars

The noble daikon is a beloved vegetable of Japan with a wide range of culinary uses along with other uses like carving huge phalluses, making cute calendars, or avant-garde musical instruments.

However, during two days in December of last year 100 daikon were mercilessly snatched from their homes and brutally crushed in Suzuka City, Mie Prefecture.

After a tireless investigation the police announced on 22 April that the culprits have been apprehended. The ringleader was an unnamed 14 year-old junior high school girl with a very strange motive indeed…

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Blog Chronicling Dumbasses at Tokyo Disneyland Shamed by Internet and Removed

For quite some time a blog had been lying dormant in the recesses of the internet featuring a group of young guys – presumably students – elevating the art of asshattery to bold new levels.

However, recently this internet artifact as unearthed and spread through Twitter like a virus of stupid and justly incinerated by the indignation of the masses.

In an effort to remember this event and perhaps teach future generations that being completely ignorant is no way to go through life, we present: A Group of Huge Jerkoffs Riding Big Thunder Mountain in Tokyo Disneyland.

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How to Make a Self-Contained Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Sandwich, a New Twist on an Old Favorite

Foreigners who live in Japan quickly learn that sliced bread is not this country’s bread and butter. Being a country that relies on rice for daily meals it’s near impossible to find a reasonably priced full-length loaf of sliced bread.

Instead most supermarkets offer small packs containing four to eight slices each of which can be monstorously thick. For people like me who like to make sandwiches every day, this means constant trips to the store to refill on bread.

However, one recipe that made it big on Twitter by Japanese user Yu Tsukari handed down by her mother thankfully can reduce my bread shopping by half. It’s an extremely simple yet clever way to take advantage of Japan’s thicker-sliced bread. You too can give it a try by following our illustrated guide.

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A widespread discussion was ignited among Twitter users of Japan recently over the act of delivering pigeons through delivery services such as Yu-Pack, the courier of the Japanese post office. It started – as these things often do – with an award-winning manga writer taking a hike through the mountains.

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Hitachi Provides IT Support through Shin and Shin, the Moe Server Fairies

The life of an IT professional is a hard one. Grueling hours are spent late into the night working out solutions to complex problems.

For these hardworking people Hitachi has come up with a unique solution: “Server Fairies Shin & Shin” who are a pair of magical 20 cm tall girls who dispense valuable network solutions to exhausted IT workers.

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Dragon Ball Creator Akira Toriyama’s Newest Work Released… to Japanese Environmental Groups

Since the end of Dragon Ball’s massively successful series, creator Akira Toriyama has been putting out a fairly steady flow of one-shots, the most recent of which being 2010’s Kintoki.

Now, Toriyama’s newest work titled Lord Wu of Delicious Island (Oishi Shima No Wu Sama) is available for limited release.

How limited?  Well, your best chance is to become a primary school student participating in an environmental study group in Anjo, Aichi Prefecture.

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Mos Burger Goes Green With Their Mos Natsumi Burgers

Just as KFC’s Kentucky Chicken Rice and other mega size deals appeared to put Japan on a slippery trans-fat laden slope to rampant morbid obesity, Japanese burger chain Mos Burger has stepped up and offered their own line of bunless burgers.

This time, rather than a pair of fluffy golden meat holders, your favorite Mos Burger sandwich will be nestled in the leafy green goodness of a wad of lettuce.

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Japanese Style Yakisoba Flavored Yakisoba: It’s Confusingly Delicious!

Yakisoba (fried buckwheat noodles) is a standard food in Japanese cuisine which can be found in restaurants, food stands, and convenience stores across the nation served in a variety of ways such as on hotdog buns or in an omelet.

There is also a variety of instant yakisoba noodle packs among which is the decades old Peyoung brand – loved by Japanese people of all ages for its delicious taste and easy preparation.

Occasionally the company releases special flavors like curry and super-hot, but this time they came out with perhaps the most unexpected flavor of all: yakisoba flavored yakisoba.

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We Try Fried Piranha, Even Dead and Cooked It’s Pretty Dangerous

Nara Kenko Land is a well-known spa here in Japan which offers pools, baths, massages, and exercise equipment.

However, for a limited time they are holding the “Big Amazon Mysterious Fish Exhibit” giving us a rare chance to eat the South American river’s fish, including the deadly piranha.

Suspicious that a health spa would offer edible piranhas, our lovely reporter Usagi went down to check it out and perhaps eat a fish that eats people.

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New Fujitsu Technology Lets Users Scan Objects and Manipulate Data with Their Bare Fingertips

Imagine putting a travel brochure on the table, touching the word “Hawaii” and having a video of sandy beaches appear next to it. Better yet, image tossing some Post-it notes onto the table and tapping them with your finger to instantly digitize and upload them to your computer. Sounds like something from a movie set in the distant future, doesn’t it?

Fujitsu Labs has made this and more possible with a new interface system that may let us toss out our mouse and scanner in a single throw.

Watching the video below, you might think cutting edge sensors are required, but all it takes is a run-of-the-mill webcam and an on-the-market projector.

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Japan Pop Culture Subcommittee Formed to Show the World ‘Cool Japan’

On 9 April the Cool Japan Promotion Conference and Pop Culture Subcommittee was assembled to discuss and strategize ways to encourage growth in Japan’s popular culture sector. The session dealt with all of Japan’s notable influences around the world from Gundams to soccer.

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Django Unchained in China, Authorities Throw Chains Back on One Minute Later

After spending decades in the film business, Quentin Tarantino had yet to get a film into China, now the second largest movie market in the world. His previous attempts have failed to meet with the stringent and sometimes erratic demands of the country’s censors.

However, on 11 April, Tarantino’s recent Academy Award-nominated film Django Unchained was set to premiere – and it did – for about one minute.

The authorities, whom I like to imagine have some kind of Commissioner Gordon batphone to movie theatres, called in and put the kibosh on Django.

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Hair Stroking Headphones Escalate Japanese University Robotic Girlfriend Simulation Race

The Japanese engineering and academia circles were rocked this week by the emergence of the Riaju Coat (Fulfillment Coat), a robotic coat which provides a slightly less virtual girlfriend experience from that of dating sim games.

Now it appears this development has sparked a girlfriend simulation tech race with rival universities.

Nadeju Headphones (Stroking Fulfillment Headphones) were developed by an ambitious team at Maizuru National College of Technology (MNCT) to simulate the feeling a girl stroking your head.

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Through the Predictability of Television Watch a Girl Seamlessly Age Four Years in 30 Seconds!

Cooking Idol Ai! Mai! Main! was a beloved weekday children’s program that combined anime and live action to entertain and educate children about cooking and nutrition. Its star, Haruka Fukuhara, played the lead role of Main-chan and for the show’s four-year run stood as a paragon of kawaii (cute) on Japanese TV.

However, as of 29 March Cooking Idol Ai! Mai! Main! was taken off the air much to the dismay of thousands of fans. One fan responded to this by uploading a pseudo time-lapse 30-second video to YouTube showing Ms. Fukuhara age from 10 years old in 2009 to the 14-year-old she is now.

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Russian Scientist Predicts “Massive Earthquake” to Hit Japan by End of 2014

During the European Geosciences Union (EGU) Convention in Vienna on 9 April, a Russian scientist declared that Japan would face a giant earthquake of magnitude 9.0 within the next year and a half.

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