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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 162)

Nuts for Nissan: Man willing to give testicle for Fairlady Z

It’s an age-old expression of a guy who wants something really badly, but who would have thought that a dude’s dangly bits could actually be indirectly used to acquire the goods or services he desired?

We can thank Mark Parisi for this revelation when he appeared on the American TV show The Doctors to share his lucrative ventures into being a medical guinea pig. The Las Vegas resident is hoping to parlay a donation of his testicle towards the purchase of a Nissan Fairlady Z (named 370Z outside of Japan).

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How to make a depressed daikon snowman

Japan’s premier recipe website, Cookpad, is an excellent resource for those looking to make some clever home cooking along with seasonal treats and some more unorthodox creations like #c0ffee.

One little gem of a recipe that’s been getting some high praise is Setsunai… Daikon Oroshi Daruma (Wistful… Grated Daikon Daruma). Although named after the round and red lucky charms of Japan, these side dishes certainly resemble snowmen, or yuki daruma in Japanese.

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Everything you need to know about the birds and the bees, packed into one quirky video game

For pretty much every parent, there will eventually come that awkward day when their child asks questions about where babies come from. Parents have to tread a fine line with the information that impart, at once wanting to preserve their curious progeny’s innocence but also not wanting to send them out into the wild with tales of storks and cabbage patches.

Thanks to Ryo Shirakawa, now there’s a fun way to teach kids about sexual reproduction without actually having to deal with it: Sperm Vs Egg (Seishi Vs Ranshi; localized to Seed and Egg in English) for smartphones.

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Miyazaki’s next project and reaction to latest Ghibli film revealed in interview with Toshio Suzuki

On 2 December at an event to celebrate the release of the Blu-ray edition of Princess Mononoke, an interview was conducted with Studio Ghibli producers including its former president Toshio Suzuki. Over the course of the interview Suzuki gave the audience some brief yet revealing insights into what went on at Studio Ghibli after Hayao Miyazaki announced his retirement.

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Finally! Vibrating animal butt charms on sale!

Hey, do you like animal butts? What am I saying, of course you do! Unfortunately, animals are wily and occasionally dangerous making it hard to get your hands on their rear ends.

That’s why (we guess) Tenyu has released Oppoppo, a collection of six animal butt simulation devices that are portable and can easily attach to your gym bag, key chain, or belt buckle!

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65-year-old arrested for theft: “I never worked”

On 28 November, Osaka Prefectural Police announced the arrest of 65-year-old Kiyomasa Shimabukuro for crimes including theft. According to police, the suspect confessed adding, “I never worked. I lived off stolen money.”

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PM Abe depicted as Charlie Chaplin in protest of Secret Protection Bill

If you happened to have been around the West Exit of Shinjuku Station this week you might have seen this poster hanging around. In it we can clearly see a photo of Prime Minister Shinzo Abe done up to look like Charlie Chaplin in the film The Great Dictator. Around him are the words “Take back Japan” and “Prewar.”

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The adventures of Mami in the land of picture books at Pennennenemu Green Café

Once upon a time in the magical kingdom of Japan there lived a young girl named Mami. Always she would ask her parents to read a children’s book by the name of Guri & Gura in which two field mice share good times together. Her most favorite story of all was the one in which Guri and Gura find a large egg and make a big fluffy cake out of it. However, as the years passed by and Mami grew into a woman, she gradually stopped reading the adventures of Guri and Gura and eventually went to work as a reporter for RocketNews24.

One day, her wicked step-editor called out, “Maaaaamiiii! Write me something about food! I’m hungry!” Checking the internet for something to write about, Mami learned of a famous café in Osaka. Other women wrote marvelous things about it saying, “It’s a real picture book world!” and “Everything about it is cute!” Thinking this was a nice place, Mami boarded a train for the land of Umeda not knowing what was waiting in store for her.

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Hokuto City chooses developmentally challenged sushi as new mascot

Every once in a while we report on the bustling mascot business in Japan, especially regarding the regional cute mascots known as yuru-kyara. Often these characters are chosen to represent a city, prefecture or even neighborhood by way of election.

This was also the case in Hokkaido’s Hokuto City as they took votes for their new representative character. Thousands of citizens cast their votes for whom they felt best represented Hokuto life and culture, ultimately choosing… that thing above.

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Video shows “mutant” crawling on the side of a building in Russia

Having read comics a lot as a kid I always dreamed of having a mutation. Having my genetic material altered so that I could fly or turn invisible would have been great. However, as I grew up I realized that mutations often lead to things like health problems and considered myself better off.

Now watching this video, I may have to reconsider. According to the person who posted it on YouTube it was taken in Russia. It appears to show a humanoid creature crawling across the exterior of an apartment building.

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We try swapping out the hard drive of a PS4, let the Xbox One hold the beer

Our resident food writer Kuzo loves travelling the world in search of new and exotic McDonald’s food. However, he’s also been known to experiment with game consoles in between meals.

When the Nintendo Wii U came out he tested its online capability while riding nearly 300 km/h on the Shinkansen. Now with his newly acquired PS4, he’s going to attempt to upgrade the built-in hard disc drive (HDD) with a faster solid state drive (SSD). The following is his report.

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“You’re an otaku!” Defining Japan’s nerdiest word

What would you say if someone were to call you an otaku? These days, people’s responses would likely fall into one of two extremes: “Hell, yeah! I’m a huge [insert hobby here] otaku!” or “Screw you! I have a life!”

Some might argue that the latter response is more likely to come from a true otaku, but very rarely do you hear someone admit to being an otaku with the nonchalant cadence of someone saying, “I’m a claims adjuster.” There’s always at least hint of bias in their tone whether its pride or embarrassment.

And yet such an emotionally charged label is still in debate with regards to its definition. To try to make sense of what an otaku is and whether it’s a good or bad thing, let’s start by looking at reasons people might say they aren’t an otaku. The following are four types of denial you might hear when calling someone an otaku as concocted by Japan’s Excite News.

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The anatomy of a cocky Japanese teenage boy circa 2013

It would appear in Japan a new species of teenager has emerged.

Once upon a time there were Yankees, a rough and tumble group of youths who flaunted convention, rocked mullets, smoked, and occasionally resorted to fisticuffs when it was called for. Sure, they were a little unrefined but you knew where they stood.

However, now it seems a new breed of young men and women have evolved from this who enjoy climbing into freezers and standing on subway tracks for fun.  This new class is being named DQN (Dokyun) in Japan.

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Elementary school teacher arrested and suspended after entering women’s restroom

On 22 November a 35-year-old man who taught at an Otsu City elementary school resigned after it came to light that he unlawfully entered the women’s restroom of Shiga University. However, according to the scant details of this case it appears this might just be a case of being in the absolute worst place at the wrong time.

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How to stand out in a land where everyone wears surgical masks: wear a black one

In most countries, walking around the streets wearing a white surgical mask would likely draw stares from those around you. People may even cross the street to avoid whatever plague they think you’re harboring. However, in urban Japan it’s hard to walk down the street without seeing someone in such medical-looking garb, especially during peak allergy seasons.

Despite this, there seems to be an unwritten rule that all face masks should be white. You might see an occasional designer mask with a logo or floral print, but by and large seeing anyone wearing a surgical mask other than white is kind of rare. However, a new brand of mask with the unfortunate name of B.M is challenging this social convention by being pitch black.

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Rohto to release eye drops containing sesame oil, netizens ask “why not Tabasco sauce?”

On 21 November, Japanese pharmaceutical company Rohto announced they will be releasing a line of eye drops which promise 60 percent the viscosity of regular drops. To retain the eyes tears and keep them moist longer, Rohto uses a combination of hyaluronic acid, chondroitin, and sesame oil.

That last ingredient in particular, which is generally used in Asian cooking for its notably bold taste, has caught the attention of netizens in Japan drawing comments such as “My eyes! My eyes!”

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We try “Eel Mango Rolls” at a Japanese Restaurant in the Philippines

Sushi is without a doubt the most popular Japanese food in the world, and as such it’s found its way onto the menus of restaurants around the world. However, as we well know, different countries always like to add their own twists to imported cuisine. These countries sometimes have a special way of eating sushi beyond the imaginations of people in Japan. Our reporter Shogo, while out covering the situation in the Philippines following Super Typhoon Haiyan, had stumbled on some such sushi while visiting a Japanese restaurant there. Read More

Sony files patent application for a “Smart Wig”

Smartphones are great and all, but they require your hands, which can be a problem when doing work, sports or raising the occasional barn. Then, along came Google Glass, a brand of smart glasses with promises of a more hands-free future. Unfortunately, it’s hard to interact with people and not have them stare at your right eye the entire time.

There must be a way to combine the discreet practicality of a smartphone with the hands-free functionality of smart glasses. According to an invention filed with the U.S. Patent Office this year, Sony appears to be interested something that just might do that with the “Smart Wig.”

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A Japanese clothing store’s misadventure in Bangladesh: The importance of marketing research

Clothing stores which quickly and cheaply offer fashions based on the latest trends such as H&M and Zara have been enjoying a high level of popularity, especially in the last decade. Shops following this model known as “fast fashion” can also be found in Japan with its largest by far being Uniqlo.

Recently we ran an article speculating why Japanese companies are slow to take risks, but that’s not always the case. In the highly competitive and globalized world of fast fashion sometimes you have to make big moves. That’s just what Uniqlo did, and they moved right into Bangladesh, which has been deemed a “least developed country” by the UN.

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Japanese elementary school teachers may tell you “5 x 100 = 500” is wrong

Here’s an elementary school math question for you all:
Apples are sold for 100 yen each. If you buy 5 what is the total amount?

If you said “5 × 100 = 500” then I’m sorry but you just flunked second grade math in Japan… if there were only one question all year.

The reason is an old teaching method that is employed in elementary and middle schools throughout the country. It’s also a method that many, such as a blogger by the name of Uncorrelated, want stopped as it leads to strange logic where six times seven does not always equal 42 and five times 100 might not equal 500.

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