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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 163)

Man, I wish someone told me this in the days of free AOL trial CDs.

It seems that putting an ordinary Compact Disc into your average microwave creates freaky lightning and a dramatic fiery demise.

Although you might expect them simply to burn up like an iPhone does, these data storage discs actually provide a kick-ass light show first.

This little known scientific gem was beautifully photographed and uploaded to Twitter, which then led to the discovery of a YouTube video documenting microwaved CDs.  So please don’t kill your microwave or yourself trying this – just check out these videos and pictures instead.

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Toothbrush Hero! Candy Maker Plans to Fight Cavities through Video Games

Major Japanese food conglomerate Morinaga had a dilemma to face.  Children have loved their fruity Hi-Chew candies for a long time but the high sugar content means eating too much can be bad for their teeth.

Just as tooth decay ravages ones pearly whites, so does poor hygiene affect Morinaga’s bottom line. You can’t eat chewy candy without teeth after all.

That’s why the confectioner has declared war on tooth decay.  To do this they have invented and are testing the “world’s first” toothbrush training video game to prefect the nation’s tykes’ dental habits.

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During a press conference on 25 January, Takeshi Endo, a representative for, JGC Corp, the construction firm working at the ill-fated Tigantourine natural gas plant told the story of one lucky survivor who was rescued by the Algerian workers there.
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This Valentine’s Day Let That Special Guy Eat Your Face with Some Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. In Japan this means it’s time for women to bestow gifts of chocolate unto the men in their life.  However, for the guys who are really special, homemade chocolate awaits.  That personal touch makes all the difference.

The Fab Café in Shibuya Tokyo is setting up a workshop which uses a state of the art 3D printer to create the ultimate in personal chocolate.

On 14 February, much like how Mr. Sato had himself made into a figurine, participating women will be able to sculpt their own likeness on a chocolate truffle this season.

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Hey, Slimebags!! No, Not You – Limited Edition Bags to be Handed Out at Lawson Convenience Stores

Arguably Japan’s most successful video game franchise and mightiest convenience store chain are joining forces again to celebrate the re-release of Dragon Quest VII: Warriors of Eden (aka Dragon Warrior VII) for the Nintendo 3DS.

In their previous celebration of Dragon Quest X a limited edition plastic bag was handed out stylized after the hit game online game.  This time they’re taking it further with a new style of bag never before seen from Lawson’s – and possibly never again.

There are two types of bags available each depicting the lovable enemy “slime” from the Dragon Quest series.

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Giant Hadouken Fired Over Kanto Region, Internet Sky Gazers Track It

Beginning at around 2:45am on 20 January, Tweets were appearing with reports of an “explosion” and a glowing object falling from the sky.  On the same day a video showing the meteor in high detail began to spread across the Japanese internet.

From the video we can easily see that this was no average meteor – this was a fireball.

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Two members of the Kanagawa Prefecture Police Force were arrested late last week on charges of extortion. Sergeants Mori and Arakawa of the Traffic Division and Organized Crime Unit, respectively, are believed to have abused their higher rank in order to coerce two female junior police officers into exchanging clothes in front of them. Sgt. Mori, meanwhile, is facing assault charges after he is believed to have attempted to kiss the pair.

Full details after the jump.

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New Head Priest of Controversial Yasukuni Shrine Appointed

Yasuhisa Tokugawa is a descendant of the Tokugawa family consisting of the legendary Shoguns such Ieyasu Tokugawa. Yasuhisa, now 64, had a successful career in the oil business from which he retired.

Now he’s doing what you’d probably expect a retired business man to do: he became the head priest of the most controversial shrine in Japan.

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Propaganda is an ugly art. History is full of distorted and racist imagery of one nation’s enemies during times of war. Looking back on them now we can chuckle at the absurd lengths people went to in an effort to instill hate in one another, but they often remain shocking nonetheless.

This series of paintings from North Korea surfaced on the internet around 2010, but it’s uncertain exactly when they were created. Judging by the American uniforms they’re most likely Korean War era. We can also see this by the one where US soldiers are depicted sawing open a guy’s head (they got lasers to do that nowadays).

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The Nihlistic Bus Schedule Advertisements of Tsukuba, Now in English!

Think back to the last time you saw an advertisement for a bus schedule.  Difficult isn’t it? Even on the off chance you have seen one before, it probably wasn’t so attention-grabbing as to stick in your memory.

It’s not like bus schedules need advertising anyway.  Either you use one or you don’t, no amount of persuading will likely change that.

Nevertheless, Tsukuba Tekken, a travel and rail association affiliated with Tsukuba University in Japan, has for years been designing quirky advertisements for their on-campus bus schedules.

Displayed in limited locations around the university, these posters have become a local legend both for their mystery and unorthodox content. So sit back and enjoy these advertisements translated into English.

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Father Bites and Kills Own Son for Being “Possessed by a Snake”

Okazaki City, Aichi Prefecture was the site of a bizarre death of 23 year-old Takuya Nagaya at the hands his father, Katsumi Nagaya. The victim was repeatedly assaulted including bites before succumbing to injuries.

The father having been arrested on suspicion of assault had said “I did it to drive out the snake that had possessed him.”

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Japan’s First Missionary Flustered as Christianity Did Not Compute with the Locals

Saint Francis Xavier was a missionary during the 16th century who is credited for bringing Christianity to parts of Asia previously unaware of the religion. Even today several churches bearing his name or likeness can be found in Japan, China, Indonesia, India and more.

Although he was successful at establishing a foothold for later missionaries to operate in Japan, his task was not easy.  The patience of this Saint was taken to the limit by potential followers complaining about gaps in logic with concepts such as hell and creation.

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Japanese Teacher Suspended for Hugging Students While Singing to Them

When I was a junior high school student my music teacher used to jab a meter stick into my gut while I played Mary Had a Little Lamb on the trumpet.  Good times.

Still, that guy could win teacher of the year next to a 55 year-old man who was suspended from his Shonan Ward high school in Kanagawa Prefecture for inappropriate behavior with some female students.

How inappropriate? For starters, he composed an original love ballad.

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The January long promotional even Enjoy! 60 Second Service at Japanese McDonald’s franchises has been making waves all over the nation’s fast food consciousness.  Although a lot of negative stories have emerged over possibly being too fast or pushing the workers too much, it’s still tempting to get into the idea of ultra-fast food.

Rival Japanese burger chain Mos Burger might be feeling the heat this month as well.  One outlet in particular released a statement written on a chalkboard in front of their store explaining the virtues their considerably slower service.

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Check Out Live Streaming Video of Cute Females Bathing in Public! Right Now!!

Everyone on Earth be they young or old, man or woman, human or animal loves a good sit in a warm place.  That’s the main reason for the hot spring’s popularity in many parts of the world.

However, we caught word of one or more young females who love bathing so much they want to do it publicly on camera for the whole world to see!  You have to hurry though there’s only a short time to see it.

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Shota Mori is a man with a dream – a dream many young males have fantasized about: making a gun pop out of your sleeve. Known as a sleeve gun, these cool yet largely impractical devices have been featured in the many badass movies such as Taxi Driver, Desperado, and Alien Resurrection.

However, with a nationwide ban on guns, Mr. Mori opted for everyday items like his iPhone, train pass, and toy drums.  What began as a simple DIY project, however, had grown into something much bigger.  Documented in a series of videos titled Sleeve iPhone it became a journey of self-realization for the man and a lesson for all of us to follow our dreams.

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Prefect Your Navy Salute with Salute Trainer App, Comes with Engrish Instructions!

Here’s an awkward situation I’m sure we’ve all had to deal with at one point or another.

Your recently-divorced out-of-the-closet father with a thing for guys in uniform has begun bringing home high ranking military officials.

You want to show these officers and gentlemen their due respect, but every time you go to salute your lack of technique makes them look at you like you’re some kind of dirty hippy.  That scornful glare cast by a Rear Admiral as he flings on a feather boa is just the worst.

Luckily, the modern incarnation of the Japanese Navy, the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force (JMSDF) put together a free iPhone app and instructional video to teach the proper way to salute.  The iPhone app called Salute Trainer also measures your saluting ability in detail and gives you a score and military style ranking.

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Norway’s Sushi Themed Interpretive Dance Routines Befuddle Japan

Sushi has become a world famous dish, and this has drawn mixed feelings from the people of Japan. While the general population is happy to have positively influenced global cuisine, at the same time they are also dismayed at how poorly it’s usually executed.

You probably best not mention your love of California rolls to a Japanese person, otherwise they’ll lower their head in shame.  Even if it tries to follow traditional ways, you’ll often hear complaints of the presentation or freshness compared to the land of the rising sun.

So just imagine if a country like Norway decides to release a series of instructional videos teaching how to make various dishes such as sashimi and makizushi. A Japanese food purist would have a fit.

To fight any undesired criticism from Japan, the Norwegians have employed a powerful weapon of mass distraction: interpretative dance.

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Thousands Protest McDonald’s Online Speech Policy by Tweeting: “The Chicken Tatsuta is Delicious!”

A few days before, the news broke regarding McDonald’s Japan releasing a memo which outlined new speech restrictions for their employees on social media.  Many believe these new rules are an effort to stem worker’s complaints over the new “Enjoy! 60 Second Service” promotion.

After the memo was released, McDonald’s crew members and Japanese netizens took to Twitter and 2channel to voice their opinion about the controversial new restrictions, and everyone’s unanimous opinion was this:

“The Chicken Tatsuta is delicious! It’s my favorite burger!”

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