Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 165)

Hurl Obscenities at the Crane Game from the Comfort of Your Own Home! Online Remote UFO Catcher Opened

Master Blaster
Mar 9, 2013
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Crane games, claw machines, UFO catchers, whatever you want to call them can be found scattered all across East Asia taking in reams of cash with promises of prizes ranging from giant stuffed phallic mushrooms to game consoles.

Oh, how I look back fondly on lining up my plastic pincers precisely over a PSP only to have them go limp at the last minute. The nursing staff and I had many a chuckle as they stitched up my knuckles from punching repeatedly into the Plexiglas window.

Thanks to Netch and their remote web browser operated crane game, instead of getting charged with destruction of property I can get enraged in front of my own computer screen!

Master Blaster
Mar 7, 2013

Now that everyone has probably sobered up from last year’s Rolling Stones and Suntory collaboration, a new rock legend is bringing a slightly classier offering to Japan.

For just a few weeks of March, in Ginza, Tokyo you can enjoy the sights, sounds, and tastes of the Thin White Duke – David Bowie.

To promote The Next Day – his first album in 10 years – Sony will be converting part of their building into the David Bowie Café with a special selection of food and décor.

Master Blaster
Mar 6, 2013

A chart surface on the Internet recently titled: 100 American College Music Majors Analyze Japanese Musical Talent and the Relationship with the Number of Members.

How exactly this information came together is unknown, but the name suggests that 100 American music students were surveyed about several Japanese music acts past and present. Those results were then plotted against the number of members in each band.

The results certainly do suggest that there is a correlation between the number of members in a music act and the perceived crappiness of said act. So lets examine this more deeply with some samples and a translated version of the chart above.

Master Blaster
Mar 6, 2013

Set to be published on 10 April is My Little Sister Can’t Be This Cute and Brush Up on Middle School English by Chukei Publishing.

As the name suggests, this book lets students bone up on the required English curriculum set to the backdrop of the My Little Sister Can’t Be This Cute popular series of erotic game (eroge) otaku themed light novels. Yes, someone actually made this.

Master Blaster
Mar 5, 2013

Back in the day, delivering the morning newspaper was an honor bestowed on one lucky neighborhood child who could earn some cash and tips of peanut-butter M&M’s in exchange for providing their neighborhood with news from the world. Now, the local paperboy is a rare, if not extinct, breed.

In Sakai City, Osaka, one father has been arrested on suspicion of violating the Child Welfare Act after allegedly deciding to instill the values of hard work and responsibility which come with a paper route in his own children.

Master Blaster
Mar 4, 2013

Take a good look at this cover for the 28 Feb. issue of noted science journal Cell. If you can tell me what this image means without reading the article then I’ll give you a shiny nickel!*

We see two young women wearing kimonos each with a hand on the minute hand of a giant clock. There are various letters and numbers printed on them, but what does it all mean?

Master Blaster
Mar 3, 2013

Yamada Putter Workshop in the city of Yamagata has previously been known in pro-golf circles, but through a twist of fate it has become the maker of the most sought-after putters in the world.

In otherwise economically depressed Japan, Yamada Putter Workshop has received up 300 orders in a single day from 20 countries around the world.

Needless to say, business is booming for the small outfit, but there’s just one problem – Yamada Putter Workshop, since opening in 1986, has only one employee: 57 year-old President Toru Yamada.

Master Blaster
Mar 2, 2013

Like collecting comics? Like collecting stamps? If you happen to like both, then just try keeping your hoarding urges in check for this news.

Japan Post will be releasing three sets of stamps honoring the works of manga and anime legend Osamu Tezuka. The sets celebrate 40th, 50th, and 60th anniversaries of three of his biggest successes.

Master Blaster
Mar 1, 2013

From November last year until this January, Nozato Elementary School in Osaka City had been the scene of a string of robberies. In 16 different incidents, up to 235,000 yen (US$2,500) was stolen from the wallets of teachers who worked there.

However, thanks to the efforts of one vigilant teacher, the culprit was finally identified and dealt with on 28 February.

Master Blaster
Mar 1, 2013

Since Shinzo Abe’s election win late last year, a faint hope for some kind of action in the long stagnant government of Japan was kindled. “Perhaps the return of his Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) to power could finally get some gears turning again in the nation?” people thought.

So far the fruit of LDP leadership has been a novel way to filibuster by frequently going potty – which I guess makes it a fig.

Master Blaster
Mar 1, 2013

Remember way back when Japan was the land of mobile milk and honey. Tales of cell phones with built-it TVs and cameras were the envy of the world. Then Apple stepped in and brought the whole thing crashing down.

Now, as I stand on the train surrounded by people poking at little plastic rectangles I conceal my once luxurious Panasonic P706ie in shame.

To support these once mighty phones, an extensive infrastructure was set up across the country. However, this entire network couldn’t be exported easily and was confined to the islands which made them. They were garapagosu-ka (Galapagos-ized).

Master Blaster
Feb 28, 2013

Being in management is difficult. Sometimes you have to make lightning-quick decisions that you later regret. However, the most valuable members of an organization are the ones that take a risk, fail, and then make success from that very same failure.

The pioneering entrepreneurs at Omocoro are just such business men and would like to share their techniques with you on how to make gold out of 100,000 errantly purchased toy blocks in the following handy guide.

Survey Shows 85.2% of Japanese People Are In Favor of Death Penalty, Others Demand “Something Worse”

Master Blaster
Feb 25, 2013

On 21 February, Japan hanged a trio of convicts for murders including the kidnapping death of a young girl and a stabbing rampage which left nine dead. Those executed were Masahiro Kanagawa, Kaoru Kobayashi and Keiki Kano (nee Muto).

As always, these hangings drew outrage from Amnesty International and the Japanese Federation of Bar Associations who made a statement saying they find “these executions unacceptable.”

However, this opposition is largely ignored by the government of Japan who maintains that the population at large supports their policy of penalty by death.

To confirm this, the following day, the Research Panel website posted the results of a survey conducted of 29,364 people asking them how they felt about the death penalty.

Master Blaster
Feb 23, 2013

Anyone with allergies can tell you that they suck pretty hard. Particularly in Japan, the high density of cedar trees has hay fever sufferers throwing on masks for several months of the year starting about now.

To our rescue comes Koji Kawahara, Professor of Cellular Engineering at Kitakyushu National College of Technology who last year found a component in strawberries which eases allergic reactions.

Professor Kawahara presented his findings at an international biology expo and filed for an international patent. He will likely synthesize the active ingredient into pill form, but can simply adding strawberries to our diet do the trick too?

Master Blaster
Feb 22, 2013

The blue robot cat from the future known as Doraemon has long entertained generations of Japanese people for decades.

Despite becoming an entrenched cultural icon in Japan, people in some parts of the world might not be familiar with the franchise. The story is centered on a young boy named Nobita who through various mishaps lands himself in trouble. However, an anthropomorphic robot cat had been sent from his descendant in the future to prevent him from becoming a total screw-up. Doraemon is equipped with a pocket on his stomach from which he can pull a seemingly endless array of tools to help his young friend. Usually the tools are misused by Nobita which comically worsens the situation.

In real life though it seems the formula has reversed for Doraemon as he is tangled in two awkward situations at once, involving the languages of Bangladesh and what (if anything) exists between his legs.

Master Blaster
Feb 20, 2013

Our Mr. Sato has struggled with hairstyles in the past, and his troubles are compounded further by his jet-setting international lifestyle. A hairstyle that’s cool in one country can be totally dorky in another. The mullet’s continued success in Japan is testament to that.

So, when visiting Turkey recently, our reporter went to a barber and asked for “a popular hairstyle in Turkey.” Could this be the start of a sexier Mr. Sato?

Master Blaster
Feb 20, 2013

Virus Protector is a Japanese product composed of a vinyl pouch that you hang by a strap around your neck. When unsealed it claims to “remove bacteria, virus and odors from the surrounding area creating a decontamination space.”

On February 18 the Consumer Affairs Agency of Japan issued a warning for people to stop using Virus Protector brand products immediately.

The reason? Apparently, Virus Protector had considered humans in the same family of germs and bad smells and set out to eliminate us as well.

Master Blaster
Feb 19, 2013

For tourists everywhere, McDonald’s offers a taste of familiarity. Granted it’s not sophisticated or healthy, but for travelers feeling overwhelmed by language or cultural barriers there is no better quick escape.

However, visitors to Turkey may be shocked at what they find in the local McDonald’s there. For those fleeting breakfast hours the Turkish McDonald’s breakfast combos as we know them take on a totally new form, and I guarantee it’s the last thing you’d expect from McDonald’s.