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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 196)

Breakthrough Material Can Alternate Between a Solid and a Liquid Simply by Shining a Light

The National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology (AIST for mercifully short) has announced the development of a new material that can be used as an adhesive product.

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New Kit Helps You Get Lint Out of Your Belly Button More Safely Than the Fork You Usually Use

Hesogoma Karametoru (Belly Button Sesame Mixer-Catchers) has been flying off the shelves of major department stores all over Japan recently, and it’s no surprise. This product fulfills a basic human need to clean one’s navel, otherwise known as “the forgotten orifice.”

Before the egg-head biologists write in and complain: no, the belly button is not an orifice, but it certainly needs cleaning like one. In further medical news, Japanese people don’t have sesame seeds in their navels. It’s just the slang term for belly button lint.

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We all know that tomato juice with its frosty phlegm-like consistency can really bring down the best of days.  Even the much needed boost it received as a diet fad appears to be quickly waning due to its general crappiness.

Now, researchers on the dime of beverage companies Asahi and Kagome have discovered that it can also bust up anyone’s party by reversing the effects of alcohol.

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Pepsi Highlights Underground Worldwide Fruit Trend with Their Newest Designer Flavor, “Salty Watermelon”

The newest in a line of seasonal limited edition Pepsi flavors has been announced by Japanese distributor Suntory.  Set to debut on 24 July is the red-colored Pepsi: Salty Watermelon.  Hopefully this is as awesome as Pepsi: Pink was.

But after reading the announcement I had to do a double-take.  The watermelon’s salty?

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Let Us All Keep Dry Under the Leafy Protection of Vegetabrella

The staff of an umbrella shop in Tokyo recently must have their work cut out for them these days as they explain to confused customers why boxes of lettuce are sitting in their displays.  The answer, of course, is Vegetabrella; a fusion of two completely ordinary yet completely unrelated objects, an umbrella and a head of lettuce.

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TripAdvisor Japan to Give Away T-Shirts Full of Overseas Obscenities, We Examine Their Meanings

Popular travel website TripAdvisor is giving away 100 free T-Shirts to lucky visitors to their Japanese website. What’s the catch you might ask?  They are covered with hand gestures deemed obscene by other countries’ peoples.

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Have a Double Dose of Nostalgia Listening to the Dragon Quest Theme Played On a Moog Synth Courtesy of Google’s Latest Doodle

On May 23rd, the world awoke to a new Google doodle daring us not waste our time pushing keys and turning knobs to make funky new sounds.  This doodle was of course a recreation of a Moog Synthesizer developed by Dr. Robert Moog who would have turned 78 had he been alive.

Thanks to one highly talented keyboardist, we were also treated to two blasts from the past, a flawless rendition of the Dragon Quest intro music as played on a Moog on Google’s top page.

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Denta-Pride’s Electronic Tooth Brushing Coach uses Bluetooth to Make Teeth White, But May Go On A Power Trip

We probably all feel comfortable with the way we brush our teeth; after meals just like we were always told.  But how long do you brush for?  Do you brush with the right amount of pressure?  Are you sure you’re giving each part of your mouth its fair share of brushing time?

A recent development in electric toothbrushes the Oral B Denta-Pride 5000 allows us to answer these impossible questions, but then hits us with another puzzle – why 5000?

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Interview With the Man Who, Rather Than Bottled Water, Received A Mysterious Remote Control from Vending Machine

May 16th was a day like any other on the platform of Koiwa Station in Tokyo.  But for a Musician/DJ who goes by the name Soeda Dyjean, a simple purchase of a bottle of water turned into a one-way ticket – to the Twilight Zone.

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Mitsubishi’s Newest Line of Cars Asks: Guys, Just How Comfortable Are You With Your Sexuality? Hello Kitty Comfortable?

What ever happened to the days of cars that weighed several tons, burned obscene amounts of fuel and had some style and personality to them.  Most cars these days look like blandly colored Tylenol gelcaps devoid of any of the raw machismo of their forefathers.

That’s why Mitsubishi’s third annual My i-MiEV Design Wrapping line of i-MiEV electric cars deserves applause for bringing some personality and more importantly testosterone automobiles once again.

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For the first time this season the legendary Yubari King melons have gone to market and the bidding was fierce to get a taste.  Yubari Kings are sometimes referred to as the “Cadillac of melons” for their beautiful design, sweet taste, and exorbitant prices. In this instance one pair of melons fetched a winning bid of 1,000,000 yen (US$12,500).

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Lakeside Resort Accentuates their Scenic Beauty with Some Freakishly Huge Funhouses

A lot of older people complain that the younger generation spends far too much time on their Z-Boxes and Nintendo Wee-Wees.  It’s not hard to imagine why when younger people are presented with fantasy worlds full of castles and dungeons they aren’t too keen to go to the farmer’s market.

Finally, Sagami Lake Resort is doing something about it by adding two colossal real world attractions to tempt kids to give their thumbs a rest and take their legs out for a spin instead.

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Bevy of New Social Media Creators Hoping the Betterment of Humanity Goes Viral

We’ve all gotten very familiar with the concept of social media to the point that even my grandmother has a vague awareness of it.  However, its detractors are quick to point that social networks, microblogs, podcasts, and what have you all amount to an ocean of pointless drivel.

It response to this harsh attack of new media comes a growing trend of web users and developers who are looking to harness the power of the internet for what they call “social good.”

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Afraid You’d Look Ridiculous Singing Around Other People? Here, Put This Big Plastic Cup Over Your Mouth

Everyone likes to sing, at least a little bit.  What most of us don’t realize though is that about 0.01% of the population can actually do it well.  The rest of us end up bugging the hell out of anyone within earshot.

So for all the neighbors and roommates of people who live life like a cast member of Glee we present Noiseless KaraOK!

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New Canine Cloud-Based Health and Activity Monitoring System Refuses to Let Your Sleeping Dog Lie

Have you ever seen an overweight dog?  Many of us probably aren’t sure as, unlike with people, we don’t quite know what the ideal dog should look like.  It’s especially difficult to see if our furrier pals are packing on some extra pounds, and with diabetes in dogs on the rise it’s becoming more important to.

It’s not hard to see why, however, as city dogs don’t have nearly enough space to run and play like their country cousins do.  The urbanized lifestyle that has led to millions of overweight people is also plumping pooches worldwide.  Luckily the modern life that is causing the problem is also offering a useful solution thanks to Fujitsu Ltd.

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All the Joy and Splendor of Finding a Cockroach in Your Home Can Now Be Felt Anytime with Roachbot

You know that warm feeling you get when you spot a cockroach in the corner of your kitchen.   How about when you pick up the garbage only to find one of those magical little critters scurry away in that adorable way they do?

The problem is that these precious moments are rare and even more fleeting as roaches quickly run into some crack in the wall.  Although you may feel comforted knowing that there are thousands more living inside that wall, it still doesn’t match the pure elation of meeting one of these black bundles of joy face to face.

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Back in 2008, at an Osaka elementary school there was an incident involving a 3rd grade student who smashed two bottles of milk together during lunch time.  As a result, the bottles shattered sending a shard of glass into the child’s eye and leaving him disabled. It’s certainly a terrible accident but what followed had turned the public’s sympathy into outrage.

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Japanese Foam Jockey Gives Drinkers Beer Heads That Cause Westerners to Froth at the Mouth

Recently we ran a report on how Japanese netizens expressed their outrage over the way a Korean pop star chooses to eat her instant noodles.  Now it seems that the international outrage shoe is on the other foot as Japan has drawn the western stink eye over how they like to enjoy their beer.

At the center of this controversy is an innocent advert for Jokki Hour (a punny mistranslation of “Foam Jockey”).  Jokki Hour is actually a cleverly designed beer mug that has a lever attatched.  When you push the lever the cup creates a head on the beer.  Not a bad idea in itself, but I think it’s the advertisement that turns westerners off.  Let’s take a look.

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Oh La La! McDonald’s Looks to Add a Touch of Class with Professional Baristas Brewing Custom Cups of Joe

Having recently opened a location in the ultra-trendy Harajuku-Omotesando shopping area of Tokyo, McDonald’s Japan is brewing a new strategy with an extra shot of sophistication.

Don’t worry; it’s not the rebirth of that lame Mac Tonight moon man who played cheesy lounge music on the piano in the 80’s.  This time McDonald’s will be serving up freshly made custom cups of coffee by real baristas.

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It’s hard making it as an idol group in Japan.  In this business thousands of girls and boys are struggling to find their niche be it with snaggleteeth, clean towels, or chainsaws.

This time RocketNews would like to present a girl group who have taken a more fishy road to success, by pitching in at their local sushi shop.  Every Sunday you can catch up-and-coming Idol Class do a free concert then sell you some octopus after the show, in what they call Sushidols.

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