Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 196)

Help the Police Find Grenades and Land Yourself  $1250 – Per Grenade!

In these hard economic times there aren’t many ways to make a buck.  The Fukuoka Prefectural Police are pitching in during these cash strapped times.  All you have to do is help them locate some deadly unexploded ordnance.

Yes, on 30 March, Fukuoka Prefectural Police announced that they will be giving cash rewards to anyone who can provide tips leading to an arrest of anyone in possession of grenades.  And I’m announcing that I’m cancelling my trip to Fukuoka.

In what’s called the Grenade 110 Incentive Program (110 is the emergency number for police in Japan) you can receive a whopping $1250 (100,000 yen) per grenade that they find on a suspect. It starts on 2 April and is open to anyone in the country.

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Take Your Relationship With Your iPhone To Strange New Levels With Bandai’s Smartpet App and Robot Dog Body

They say that dog is man’s best friend. However, as the number of smartphone users continues to grow that title may soon be challenged, especially if you consider Bandai’s newest iPhone development, Smartpet.

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Lil’ Miss Environmentally Friendly Can Wash Away All Your Unwanted Toilet Sounds

Let’s face it; using public toilets is never a pleasant experience.  Putting aside all the legendary messes you have encountered, even if the restroom is immaculate you still have to worry about yourself.  As stealthily ninja-like you try to be on the can it is virtually impossible to do it without making any embarrassing sounds.

This is especially true of the fairer sex who often do a courtesy flush but in these ecologically sensitive times it’s hardly a sensible use of a gallon of water.

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Daiwa House To Sell “Vegetable Factory” Capable of Growing 10,000 Heads of Lettuce Per Year

Produce prices are almost impossible to predict, mostly because of crops ruined by El Nino, global warming, or whatever cause de jour we hear about in the news. The rest of the time we’re hit with stories about E. coli in our spinach or other edible plants being the subjects of genetic manipulation.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to avoid all of these problems?

Japan’s largest homebuilder, Daiwa House has come up with a solution to all of these produce related problems wrapped up in a 30 cubic-meter wonder box.  Dubbed the “agri-cube”, this little veggie factory lets you grow 23 different varieties of edible plants from lettuce to basil.

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Japanese City on the Verge of Bankruptcy Puts Name Up For Sale

They say the only thing you have after losing everything is your name.  Not so, says the Izumisano City officials who in the dying moments of their failing economy are considering a plan to sell their naming rights off amongst other ideas.

Residents of the Osaka Prefecture city will be pleased to know that they wouldn’t be selling it to just anyone with money, so the threat of the name becoming Poopiehead City is minimal. From June till the end of November they will be accepting proposals from both foreign and domestic businesses interested in unique ways to advertise using their city’s government and resources.

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Hello Katie the Triumphant Fruit Stem Cat!  Hello Kitty’s Life on the World Stage Sometimes Gets Confused in Translation

Most of the world is familiar with Hello Kitty as she puts her stamp of cuteness on backpacks, shirts, posters, and the occasional jumbo jet or hotel room.  But how much do people outside of Japan know about her personal life.

As the Japanese lovingly refer to her as Kitty-chan she is also occasionally known by the name she uses on her British passport, Kitty White.  This info is provided by her owners at the Japanese company Sanrio.

However, when we look at Hello Kitty’s bio on Sanrio’s Taiwan website, we discover that Japan may have been wrong all this time.  Their translation of the infamous cat’s real British name is not Kitty but in fact Katie.

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Get a Complete Psych Profile in a Few Minutes Using Only a Pen and Paper

The internet is home to thousands of thousands of tests and quizzes each promising everything from your IQ to the Glee character that most resembles you.  Now we bring you a new test that really kinda probably doesn’t work, but it’s fun to try.

Using just a pen and paper you can get a snapshot of your current mental state. But to get a super-duper accurate reading you CANNOT scroll down to until you complete each step, OK?

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Much A-Blue About Strawberries, Hypothetical Question Gets Everyone in a Tizzy

About 30 years ago, the late great George Carlin asked the famous question; “Where’s the blue food?”  In this routine he’s quick to point out that many foods with “blue” in the name aren’t really blue.  Blueberries are so dark they barely register as blue.  Blue cheese is just white cheese with blue mold in it.  And if anyone on the internet refers you to a “blue waffle” please forget you read it and move on with your life.

This culinary curiosity appears to have everyone mystified as proved by the recent landslide of attention that has befallen a website called strawberryblu.com.  A cute little article attempting to answer the question “Do blue strawberries exist?” which was written about a year ago has just recently been a magnet of attention in the middle of a fierce debate over genetically modified food.

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The End of Barcodes? Toshiba Unveils Register Scanners that Can See Rather than Scan

I remember on my first day of computer programming class the first thing the teacher said was, “Computers are stupid.”  It was a valuable fact that has served me well in my relationships with these ubiquitous machines.

For instance, if I show a four year old a can of Coke, they can quickly tell me what it is. Whereas for a computer, we have to print a series of lines and numbers on it just so the dumbass box can get up to speed.

It makes you wonder why we have to go through all the trouble of making up barcodes just so a machine can understand what you and I plainly see.  It’s enough to make you think the barcode industry is some sort of insidious freemason plot.  Recently, though, Toshiba has announced a scanner for supermarkets and other shops that will bring this evil syndicate of barcode charlatans to their knees.

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Celebration of Pakistani Music, Food, Fashion, and More to be Held in Tokyo

This year marks the 60th anniversary of diplomatic relations between Japan and Pakistan began.  Since then the two countries have maintained a very strong diplomatic and economic relationship.  However, culturally the two countries haven’t gotten as close as they could have.

Thankfully the Pakistan Embassy in Japan along with members of the Pakistani community in Japan have organized the Pakistan Bazaar in Yoyogi Park, Tokyo.  Anyone in the Tokyo area on 24-25 March is welcome to experience the historical and cultural beauty that fills Pakistan with free admission.

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Earlier this month in Kanagawa Prefecture, a high ranking government official was arrested for allegedly assaulting  his wife’s “male acquaintance.”  The attack took place when Mr. Noda (47) discovered his wife entering a hotel with another man (44) after following her when she left home late in the evening.  In the heat of the moment, Mr. Noda confronted them and allegedly ended up severely beating the man in the face and chest, breaking several ribs.

A few days after the confrontation, the alleged victim filed a complaint with the authorities.  After Mr. Noda was arrested, the story hit blogs across the internet and triggered a landslide of support for him.

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The Heartwarming Story of a Nepali Curry Shop That Won Over the Hearts and Twitter Followers of Japan

Arguably the most famous Nepali curry shop in Japan is Daisuki Nippon (I Love Japan) in Itabashi-ku, Tokyo.  Since its opening in 2010, this tiny, independently-run restaurant has managed to get attention from all corners of the country in a story that plays out eerily similar to the plot of a Seinfeld episode.

The story begins with shop owner Pradahan Vikas struggling to get anyone to come to his store.  Sometimes he would go the entire day without serving a meal.  Faced with such hard times, Mr. Vikas turned to Twitter to chronicle his worries, unbeknownst to him that they would be the key to his success.

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Possibly Korean, Definitely Effeminate Young Man has Some Choice Words to Share with Japan: “Please Die Quickly.”

A young man who is assumed to be Korean has decided to share his feelings to the world on YouTube and as a result ignited a powder keg of tensions between Koreans and Japanese internet users.

In broken Japanese, the boy gave a minute and a half speech about his take on the post-Tohoku Earthquake situation which, as one Japanese commenter said, “crossed the line.”  He then gives a glimpse into his own homicidal fantasies before politely asking all Japanese people to “die quickly.”

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Revisit 20 Photos of Some of The Most Powerful Moments and People in Modern History

Thanks to the proliferation of the internet we can see countless images in an instant with the click of a mouse.  Most of the pictures available online, however, are of cats with misspelled captions or people confusing Joseph Kony with Carl Weathers.

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iOS5.1 Update Turns Your iPhone Into a Suspenseful Thrill Ride By Only Sometimes Telling You the Real Battery Power

On 7 March Apple made their latest press release announcing the upcoming iPad, and also happier news for Japanese users that the new update to iOS has taught Siri how to speak their language.  Yet, beneath all this fanfare one whopping issue lurks that’s enough of a let-down to crush even the most ardent fanboy’s heart.

The battery display is all out of whack.  Not only that it’s out of whack in the most disappointing way possible.

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Spiderman-Themed Dumplings Set to Please,May Lead to a Surge in Bad Puns

Readers of this website are likely to be familiar with nikuman, the steamed rice pastry often made with meat filling.  In the past we have reported on the delicious slime shaped nikuman and Puyo Puyo themed nikuman. One thing to note about nikuman is that their name is made up of two parts niku (meat) and man (steamed bread) so that if you change the filling the suffix remains the same giving you pizzaman or curryman.

Universal Studios Japan took notice of how this is linguistically similar to the suffixes often used for superheroes in English and developed Spiderman (here the man would be pronounced kind of like a Jamacian accented mon).

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Possible Debris From Tohoku Earthquake Reaches American Shores

As we quickly approach the one year anniversary of the Great East Japan Earthquake the have been signs that debris from the massive tsunami has finally touched down on American shores.

Recently residents of northwest Washington state have been finding more and more fishing gear and garbage with Japanese writing on it since last weekend.  In fact, in the past two months one man found 15 pieces of Japanese debris has been reported which is a sharp increase from the only 4 pieces found in the previous 46 years.

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JAL Begins Serving Yoshinoya, Some Assembly Required

The Japanese airline industry has recently entered a phase of stiff competition as low cost carriers from countries like Europe have entered the scene.  Mainstays JAL and ANA have had to come up with more creative solutions to attract people to their higher-priced offerings.

JAL’s initiative has been to collaborate with popular restaurant chains so that people can enjoy their favorite foods instead of the dishes that are so-often the target of stand-up comedians.  Already they have sold hamburgers from fast food chain Mos Burger in a project called AIR Mos Burger, as well as dumplings from popular Chinese food chain Edosei with AIR NikumanThe third time’s the charm as now the granddaddy of Japanese fast food comes to the skies with AIR Yoshinoya.

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Angry Birds Fans Take Game Into Their Own Hands With Real USB Slingshot

Millions of people have experienced the satisfying feeling of pulling back their digital angry birds, releasing and sending them flying into those rickety pig-built structures on their smart phones or computers. It almost makes you want to light up a cigarette afterwards.

But after playing through the hundreds of levels that Roxio has released you may find that original satisfaction waning somewhat.  We have seen the videos of “real-life” versions in the past, but most of us lack the space and resources to do it ourselves. Well now, some ingenious fans have found a great way to add a fresh kick to their Angry Birds addiction using a real slingshot.

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New Shop in Tokyo Offers 16 Kinds of Whale Meat and Hopes You Don’t Attack Them For It

The Ameyoko block of Tokyo is a comprised of a busy market street lined with quaint little shops selling various foods, cosmetics and knick-knacks like clocks.  You can expect to find just about anything in Ameyoko, which makes it the perfect location for Geinanhonbo, a whale-meat specialty shop, to open its newest branch.

At Geinanhonbo you can choose from 16 different cuts of whale meat from a giant fridge that takes up most of the shop space.  Red meat cuts are relatively cheap, costing 380 yen per 100g (US$1.32/oz), but more expensive parts like the tail or jaw can run up to 2,800 yen per 100g ($9.84/oz).  The store offers “almost every edible part of the whale” including the heart, which costs about as much as the red meat.

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