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The last couple of years haven’t been particularly kind to Suzuki Motor Corporation. The company’s US division filed for bankruptcy in 2012, and the automaker announced that it would be halting sales of passenger cars in both America and Canada.

Suzuki still sells cars in its home market, but recent moves by Japanese politicians looking to scale back tax breaks for the compact cars the Shizuoka-based manufacturer specializes in have put it in a precarious position. As the man in the hot seat, Suzuki CEO Osamu Suzuki has come up with a bold and unorthodox plan: openly insult his customers.

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While there are genuine differences between Japan and the West, oftentimes you can find cultural equivalents with just a little searching. Japan may not have ice cream trucks, for example, but mobile food exists in the form of sweet potato vendors who cruise the streets of residential areas. Christmas is Japan is usually spent on a romantic date or partying with friends, but then everyone goes back home to spend time with the family over New Year’s.

Likewise, satirical website Kyoko News exists as Japan’s counterpart to The Onion, running stories that almost seem plausible, but never actually happened. Nonetheless, it seems the United Nation’s Children’s Fund (UNICEF) either didn’t get or didn’t appreciate being the subject of one of Kyoko News’ recent jokes. The organization eventually got the retraction it was seeking, but not without seeing the complications involved in asking for one from a website that states upfront that what it’s saying isn’t true.

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Heart-shaped lemons from Hiroshima make sour a little sweeter

We’ve talked before about the booming trend of latte art in Japan, in which baristas create intricate pictures in the foam atop your coffee. But what if you prefer to get your caffeine fix from a cup of tea instead of a mug of java? Does Japan have anything cute to brighten your beverage?

Why yes, it does! And if you like a little citrus in your tea, you can spruce up your drink with a slice of lemon grown in the shape of a heart.

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Japanese Q&A site answerer makes starting a cult seem like legitimately good business sense

Back in the day, starting a cult was just as good a way to make a dishonest living as robbing banks or selling kidneys on the black market, but with the rise of the Internet (specifically, Snopes.com), attracting believers to your bogus religion seems like way too much work. Besides, Scientology kind of already has the market cornered.

Nevertheless, an inquisitive aspiring cultist took to Yahoo! Japan’s Chiebukuro question and answer site as part of his/her cult-founding due diligence, perhaps hoping for some basic advice like “keep human sacrifices to a minimum,” or “promise male cult members multiple wives.”

Instead, what the asker got was a detailed breakdown of what it takes to build a successful cult; an explanation so thorough and well-thought out, we’re actually considering a career change.

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New Chinese winter scooter accessory is ultra warm, desperately uncool

Here in the northern hemisphere, winter is upon us. For those whose main transportation is a scooter, it’s an especially hard time of year. Having all that wind rushing by your body is cold, cold, COLD! Even a scooter with a windshield offers little protection, and wearing heavy-duty protective clothing is a real pain.

China thinks it has the answer for this cold conundrum, but your ego may not like it.

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Japanese product promotion invites women to snuggle up with foreign hotties in bathrobes

Women in Japan were feeling a little left out when the charity breast squeeze event came into town this past summer. Sure, some women like to squeeze a boob every now and then, but there was never any naughty public happening created with ladies in mind. That is until now.

For a limited time only, the women of Japan can enjoy sandwiching themselves between two bathrobe-clad foreigners without having to donate a single yenny.

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Constipated cats, sticky blue poop and more: Japan’s 9 weirdest vending machine toys

Gachagacha or gachapon are vending machines that spit out little toys or other small items in a plastic egg. For a few bucks, you get not only a new anime figure or phone strap but also the thrill of submitting to the luck of the gachapon. Where I come from, you might find a similar machine dispensing stickers or candy in the front of a big box store, but there wasn’t much choice and the appeal wears off sometime before junior high. Here in Japan though, gachapon have an endless and ever-changing variety of contents, along with enthusiastic collectors of all ages. Entire stores exist simply to house hundreds of gachapon, and with all that variety, there’s sure to be some serious weirdness in there. This is Japan, after all.

We’ve scoured the Net to find nine of the most bizarre for your viewing pleasure.

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Some Japanese school regulations don’t make any sense!

Stereotypically, Japan really loves their sense of social conformity and the comfort of their unchanging rules. The socialization of Japanese children into upstanding and unobtrusive citizens starts young and is encouraged by the country’s educational system. Rules regarding clothing and classroom behaviors are necessary in any nation’s school setting, but the institutions’ attempts to control their students seem particularly far-reaching in Japan.

Still, there are some rules that even the people who grew up within the Japanese system find particularly confusing, if not downright misinformed. When asked in an online survey how many people felt that their school had some weird sorts of rules, 12.5 percent of respondents answered, “yes.” That may not seem like a very high number, but when asked to go into detail about these unconventional guidelines, the results were still rather surprising. Here’s a short list of weird guidelines upheld by some of Japan’s schools.

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icePhone: Because everyone wants to look like they’re talking on a popsicle

When you’re a little kid, any slightly long object turns into your own personal phone. The remote control, a banana, maybe even a sausage have all served as substitute talking devices for children not quite old enough to have their own fully-functional mobile device. But frozen treats, no matter how perfectly sized, have always been out of reach as a play phone, transforming into a puddle of sticky goo before the purple dragon had his turn to talk. But now you can be the envy of all those 5-year-olds yammering like fools on their pickle phones with the icePhone case that looks like a real crunch bar or popsicle.

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“Idol addiction” ruining your life? Call this hotline to take control!

While making a hobby out of adoring Japanese idols is a perfectly acceptable pastime, we here at RocketNews24 know that with so many ways to indulge, from plumbing to college courses to ramen, some idol enthusiasts may find themselves with a full-blown case of “idol addiction.” Luckily, there is a hotline for those wanting to find out how to enjoy their idol worship in moderation!

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Akita musician and illustrator do everything they can to convince us their eel characters are actually dongs

Japan cranks out a huge number of corporate and regional mascot characters, and each one is required to be cute, right down to its name. Unfortunately, sometimes a moniker that sounds perfectly fine in Japanese doesn’t have quite the same inoffensive ring to it in English.

Of course, naming choices can have unfortunate implications for Japanese speakers as well, like with Akita Prefecture’s cute little garden eel character called Chinanabo. In Chinanabo’s case, however, there’s enough evidence to make us think his creators are in on the joke.

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Uber-complicated foreigner-friendly guide to conveyor belt sushi will make your eyes pop out

Oh boy, look at that thing. Just, wow. What is even happening here? There are so many colors, and this Escher-esque perspective trick where you’re looking down at the sushi conveyor belt but seeing the customers head-on all at the same time…

As the title of this bizarro infographic suggests, this is ostensibly a guide to using a kaiten conveyor belt sushi establishment. We’re actually very appreciative someone took the effort to make this since it’s pretty easy to accidentally commit a crime if you don’t follow the kaiten sushi rules perfectly.

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These one-eyed manga comic heroines are totally safe for work, slightly less so for your sanity

One of the most distinctive aspects of Japanese comics and animation is the size of the characters’ eyes. From a design standpoint, larger eyes make are easier to emote with, and some of anime and manga’s most expressive, and thus memorable, characters have had some of the biggest eyes. As the eyes became bigger, anime artists were left with less and less space to draw the nose and mouth, both of which are often tiny compared to those of Western cartoon characters.

But there’s only so much room on the face, and now we’re seeing the twistedly logical conclusion to the big-eyed trend in the growing popularity of otherwise cute female manga characters with only one eye.

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Carbonated tomato juice makes a reappearance in stores across Japan

Hate tomato juice? Maybe you’ll like sparkling tomato juice.

Kagome, a Japanese manufacturer of fruit and vegetable juices, has just announced the sale of Tomash, a carbonated tomato beverage. The drink is made from a combination of tomato juice mixed with lemon and ginger ale, and believe it or not, it’s back by popular demand.

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Weird toothpaste mascot is a big hit with women in Japan

A recent appearance by a new mascot in Tokyo’s Shibuya ward saw young women flocking to take commemorative pictures. When our reporter encountered the mascot, officially named “Mr. T Stain,” women were following it around with squeals of delight, making the surrounding men extremely jealous. But why is Mr. T Stain, who could be in the running for weirdest mascot, so popular with the ladies? It has something to do with a toothpaste commercial featuring a very eccentric pop star.

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Anime fan and pet owner recreates Attack on Titan’s epic opening shot by shot – with cats! 【Video】

This year’s breakout anime hit Attack on Titan snuck up on a lot of people. Sure, previews for the TV series made it look like a fun adventure, but is wasn’t until sometime after it premiered that the franchise became the international success it is today, despite the comic it’s based on having been around since 2009.

Why didn’t more people, from the very beginning, realize just how much entertainment Attack on Titan has to offer? Maybe the story’s antagonists, naked giants who look like anatomy textbook illustrations, were just too repugnantly grotesque. Maybe, being creator Hajime Isayama’s first serial, the artwork on its heroes was a little too rough around the edges. How much more immediately accessible would Attack on Titan have been if they had all been replaced with a more traditionally pleasing aesthetic, like a bunch of cute cats?

Thanks to this feline-infused recreation of the show’s opening animation, now we know.

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Couple holds intimate, romantic wedding ceremony on Tokyo’s busiest rail line

Out of all the rail and subway lines crisscrossing Tokyo, the most well known and heavily used is the Yamanote Line which encircles downtown Tokyo. Stations along the Yamanote serve some of the city’s busiest business, education, and entertainment districts, and the result during rush hour is train cars that are so packed it’s comical (for everyone except the passengers themselves, of course).

This month, however, the Yamanote Line was the site of a gathering quite a bit more intimate than its usual pressed mass of sleeping white-collar professionals, as a couple held their wedding ceremony onboard one of its trains.

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Pitch black sesame garlic ramen at craft brewer’s restaurant stirs our hearts while filling our bellies

When dining out in Japan, there is a commonly accepted truism that you get the tastiest example of a particular type of food by eating it in a restaurant that specializes in it. For example, if you want good ramen, you go to a place that serves that and little, if anything, else.

Speaking of Japan’s favorite noodle dish, popular wisdom also holds that the dingier the ramen restaurant, the better-tasting the food.

So imagine our surprise when we discovered that the Yona Yona Beer Kitchen, a classy restaurant with a full menu in Tokyo’s swanky Nagata-cho neighborhood, can also whip up a bowl of ramen that’s as delicious as it is visually striking.

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Living Wallet: The high-tech/creepy solution to your money spending problems

We understand it’s hard to save money. With so many cool Gundam theme cakes and Sailor Moon accessories around, who wouldn’t be trying to empty their coin purses and pocketbooks to exchange their hard earned cash for awesome novelty goods. Sometimes, our spending gets a little out of control and we have to save a little, employing various tactics to try and see an increase in the bank account.

But what if your wallet started inching away, undulating like some sort of deranged caterpillar in hopes you forgo your next splurge. And what if you ignored the weirdness of the movement, picked up said wallet, and it started screaming at you? No, we’re not making this up. One company in Japan hopes to curb your spending with a “living wallet.”

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Like many people who immigrated to Japan, for my first few weeks in the country, almost every day involved a trip to the local 100 yen shop. Setting up a new home requires a big investment of time and money, but at the very least, in Japan you can largely outfit your kitchen with a handful of 100-yen (US $1) coins.

And it’s not just dishes and silverware you can pick up on the cheap, but a variety of handy things to make your home life easier, as featured in a recent ranking of the top 10 convenient items from the 100 yen shop.

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