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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 181)

Emergency Medical Workers in Kyoto Express Outrage at the Media in the Wake of Fatal Accident Involving School Children

Master Blaster
Apr 26, 2012
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In Kyoto, a tragic and fatal incident unfolded involving an unlicensed driver who ran their car into a crowd of people consisting of elementary school children and a pregnant woman. It’s one of those horrible accidents that bring out the deepest hurt, shock and anger in all of us.

So it’s no surprise to hear people lash out at whomever or whatever is responsible but an especially scathing commentary has sprung from a surprising source. Tajima Emergency & Critical Care Medical Center (TECCMC) who had sent an air ambulance to the accident scene, released an uncharacteristically harsh attack not on the driver of the vehicle but on the mass media outlets for their intrusive reporting on the premises in an article titled; Do people in the media have hearts?

Learn How to Sleep in a Toilet Stall Like a Pro

Master Blaster
Apr 26, 2012

With the warmer weather coming we are bound to have those days where a particularly heavy lunch or wild night before turns us into zombies by 1:45pm. The question is what do you do?

Many of us plug through the rest of the afternoon for fear that dozing at our desks would land us out of a job. Some among us have pondered the idea of catching some sleep atop the toilet; the only place you’re guaranteed some privacy in an office environment. However, many are turned off by fears or stigmas that might be associated with sleeping in the crapper.

Then there are a select few – 30% according to a recent survey of middle-aged businessmen – who have the guts to go that extra mile and take a nap sitting on the can so that they can return to work refreshed. RocketNews24 would like to now share some of their various tactics, so that you too can embark on the noble art of “toilet napping.”

Veggie Sushi Will Win Over All Your Senses in the End

Master Blaster
Apr 24, 2012

For many vegetarians and vegans, Japan can be a difficult place to get something to eat. Sushi is nearly completely off limits for those who forego meat, and very few Japanese people would consider California rolls real sushi, especially the chef of Vegetable Sushi Potager.

Vegetable Sushi Potager is a restaurant located in the glitzy Roppongi Hills Area of Tokyo is serving up a full course meal based entirely on vegetables. I was told that although its presentation is high quality, like a lot of vegetarian cooking the deliciousness of it doesn’t hit you over the head right away. It takes time to build bit by bit from the bottom of your heart as go through each course culminating in a new understanding of the word “delight”. That’s some big praise so I was understandably skeptical.

Why is Japan Turning Blue at Night? More and More Streets Being Draped in Peacefully Bizarre Azure Lights

Master Blaster
Apr 19, 2012

A growing number of people all across Japan have been noticing their neighborhoods getting a little jazzier these days. If you live in Japan and haven’t seen them yet then just wait. But why have cities all over the country been trading in their traditional yellowish lights for the blue light special?

Visit the US Navy Ship Held Prisoner for Over 30 Years in North Korea

Master Blaster
Apr 16, 2012

In 2012, a Japanese man was allowed to take a supervised tour of the secretive country of North Korea, we’ve reported some of his observations about their fine dining, public transportation, and more. And now we bring you coverage of one of the most unique tourist spots in the world: the only currently captured United States Navy Ship, the USS Pueblo.

Our correspondent’s tour guide and government appointed escort took him to the ship moored in Pyongyang where the guide told him “even today, America continues to beg the ship be returned.”

Welcome to the Crappiest Toy Store in Thailand

Master Blaster
Apr 15, 2012

Disclaimer: This article contains some graphic depictions of doo-doo and is not for the faint of stomach.

One of the great things about visiting Thailand is that everything is so cheap. Especially if you want to buy souvenirs for a lot of people, it’s a very shopping friendly country. However, even with these low prices, travelers are still faced with the dilemma of what to get loved ones.

You don’t want to spend your whole vacation picking out the perfect gifts but you also don’t want to be like your aunt Grace who gave you a lame souvenir spoon from her trip to the Grand Canyon last year.

Luckily we stumbled upon a toy store in Thailand that lets you confront your fear of buying a crappy present by selling literal pieces of crap. Small coilers will run you about 50 baht (US$1.60) but a larger log will cost 150 baht ($4.80).

New iPhone Attachment Takes It Back to ’07, By Which We Mean 1907

Master Blaster
Apr 14, 2012

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCdEWGWALGg?feature=oembed&w=640&h=360%5D

Apple has had their share of run-ins over patent infringement these days, but it looks like Sanyo Transport’s recently released iPhone attachment may get an angry letter too – from the Edison Speaking Phonograph Company.

The iPhone 4S/4 Exclusive Bugle-Type Speaker certainly doesn’t win points for a catchy name, but it may hook you in with its low price, simplicity and heck even for its retro charm.

Newspaper Companies Rally Against Inevitable Demise by Giving a Few Free Copies Away with the Purchase of an Egg McMuffin

Master Blaster
Apr 12, 2012

McDonald’s may not be the best place to get nourishment for your body, but for one week at selected branches you could get some food for thought, in the form of a free newspaper.

That’s right, McDonald’s restaurants and the Japan Newspaper association have collaborated to bring you Spring Newspaper Week (April 6 to 12), which many are lauding as a glorious waste of time.

The purpose of Spring Newspaper Week is to combat the growing trend of young people not using newspapers. Strangely, more and more younger people prefer reading their news on phones that fit in the palm of their hands rather than cumbersome sheets of paper that make their fingers black.

Fukushima Refugees Rather Gamble than Work, Claims Iwaki City Mayor

Master Blaster
Apr 12, 2012

The city of Iwaki lies 30km south of the Fukushima Daiichi just outside of the evacuation zone created after the nuclear disaster struck. As such it has become home to approximately 25,000 displaced people from Futaba District, where the Daiichi reactor is located.

On 9 April, Iwaki Mayor Takao Watanabe had this to say about the evacuees: “With the compensation money they received from TEPCO, most people are choosing not to work. The pachinko parlors, however, are packed every day.” Pachinko is a highly popular game similar to pinball that is often used for gambling much like slots or video poker in other parts of the world.

Although this may sound like another case of a Japanese politician putting his foot in his mouth, it appears Mayor Watanabe is not alone with his opinion.

Is Fizz Saver the True Savior of Cola Fizz or Does It Fall Flat?

Master Blaster
Apr 8, 2012

Now that it seems spring has slowly arrived and summer is around the corner, cold drinks are on everyone’s minds. It’s especially hard to resist all the dirt cheap soft drinks that can be found in convenient 1.5L bottles.

But for most of us, our eyes are bigger than our stomachs and what’s left of the massive bottle gets stored in the fridge. Here it inevitably falls victim to the scourge of carbonated beverages everywhere – flatness – and ultimately is poured down the drain.

A new product called “Fizz Saver” has arrived on the scene to help keep your large bottles of cola alive a little longer. I decided to try one out and see in the hopes of a bubblier tomorrow.

Amazon Buys Robot Company for $755M Reducing Warehouse Staff’s Duties to Standing Still and Pushing Pretty Red Buttons

Master Blaster
Apr 7, 2012

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FKMniE_q1Q?feature=oembed&w=640&h=480%5D

Kiva Systems is a company that found some success selling their warehouse robots to many major retailers looking to keep up with the juggernaut that is Amazon.com notable clients of their included the GAP and Toys “R” Us.

However, just recently Amazon responded with a big capitalistic FU to their competitors by buying Kiva Systems. This means that Amazon now kind of owns the distribution systems of many of their rivals. The price of $755 million doesn’t sound too crazy now, does it?

But as we shall see, the real loser in this deal is the human race. This is because along with this acquisition, Amazon is now the proud father of Kiva’s army of tiny orange warehouse robots. Kiva’s promotion video gives us a bleak view of how the world will look when the robots take over.

Algae Found Capable of Removing Radioactive Matter from Water

Master Blaster
Apr 7, 2012

Necessity is the mother of invention, and the damaged created by the Tohoku earthquake and subsequent Fukushima Daiichi disaster has created an urgent need for solutions to the environmental problems Japan faces.

Working with various universities across Japan, the Institute of Physical and Chemical Research, better known as RIKEN have developed a new method of decontaminating water containing radioactive materials. It uses a type of algae that has been shown to “eat” radioactive cesium.

An In-Depth Look At Japan’s Premier Horror Idol Group, Alice Juban, Sinister Sisters Who Enslave Salivating Supporters

Master Blaster
Apr 4, 2012

It’s a hard road to become a successful pop idol group these days, especially in Japan where the AKB48 divisions have a stranglehold on the market. What’s left of it generally goes to the Korean invasion. When the pop scene reaches a peak like it is at now, it becomes nearly impossible to distinguish one act from the other.

Every day when you flip on the TV or thumb through a magazine there are gaggles upon gaggles of young girls and guys with almost identical clothes, hairstyles, songs, and dances all vying for your attention.

Applying the Tony Montana formula of success to idol groups; you got to get the attention first. Then when you get the attention, you get the fans. Then when you get the fans, you get the money. The girls in Alice Juban (Alice Number 10) are doing just that in a way that would make Scarface proud – with chainsaws and hockey masks.

Help the Police Find Grenades and Land Yourself $1250 – Per Grenade!

Master Blaster
Apr 3, 2012

In these hard economic times there aren’t many ways to make a buck. The Fukuoka Prefectural Police are pitching in during these cash strapped times. All you have to do is help them locate some deadly unexploded ordnance.

Yes, on 30 March, Fukuoka Prefectural Police announced that they will be giving cash rewards to anyone who can provide tips leading to an arrest of anyone in possession of grenades. And I’m announcing that I’m cancelling my trip to Fukuoka.

In what’s called the Grenade 110 Incentive Program (110 is the emergency number for police in Japan) you can receive a whopping $1250 (100,000 yen) per grenade that they find on a suspect. It starts on 2 April and is open to anyone in the country.

Take Your Relationship With Your iPhone To Strange New Levels With Bandai’s Smartpet App and Robot Dog Body

Master Blaster
Mar 29, 2012

They say that dog is man’s best friend. However, as the number of smartphone users continues to grow that title may soon be challenged, especially if you consider Bandai’s newest iPhone development, Smartpet.

Lil’ Miss Environmentally Friendly Can Wash Away All Your Unwanted Toilet Sounds

Master Blaster
Mar 26, 2012

Let’s face it; using public toilets is never a pleasant experience. Putting aside all the legendary messes you have encountered, even if the restroom is immaculate you still have to worry about yourself. As stealthily ninja-like you try to be on the can it is virtually impossible to do it without making any embarrassing sounds.

This is especially true of the fairer sex who often do a courtesy flush but in these ecologically sensitive times it’s hardly a sensible use of a gallon of water.

Daiwa House To Sell “Vegetable Factory” Capable of Growing 10,000 Heads of Lettuce Per Year

Master Blaster
Mar 23, 2012

Produce prices are almost impossible to predict, mostly because of crops ruined by El Nino, global warming, or whatever cause de jour we hear about in the news. The rest of the time we’re hit with stories about E. coli in our spinach or other edible plants being the subjects of genetic manipulation. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to avoid all of these problems?

Japan’s largest homebuilder, Daiwa House has come up with a solution to all of these produce related problems wrapped up in a 30 cubic-meter wonder box. Dubbed the “agri-cube”, this little veggie factory lets you grow 23 different varieties of edible plants from lettuce to basil.

Japanese City on the Verge of Bankruptcy Puts Name Up For Sale

Master Blaster
Mar 23, 2012

They say the only thing you have after losing everything is your name. Not so, says the Izumisano City officials who in the dying moments of their failing economy are considering a plan to sell their naming rights off amongst other ideas.

Residents of the Osaka Prefecture city will be pleased to know that they wouldn’t be selling it to just anyone with money, so the threat of the name becoming Poopiehead City is minimal. From June till the end of November they will be accepting proposals from both foreign and domestic businesses interested in unique ways to advertise using their city’s government and resources.

Hello Katie the Triumphant Fruit Stem Cat! Hello Kitty’s Life on the World Stage Sometimes Gets Confused in Translation

Master Blaster
Mar 22, 2012

Most of the world is familiar with Hello Kitty as she puts her stamp of cuteness on backpacks, shirts, posters, and the occasional jumbo jet or hotel room. But how much do people outside of Japan know about her personal life.

As the Japanese lovingly refer to her as Kitty-chan she is also occasionally known by the name she uses on her British passport, Kitty White. This info is provided by her owners at the Japanese company Sanrio.

However, when we look at Hello Kitty’s bio on Sanrio’s Taiwan website, we discover that Japan may have been wrong all this time. Their translation of the infamous cat’s real British name is not Kitty but in fact Katie.

Get a Complete Psych Profile in a Few Minutes Using Only a Pen and Paper

Master Blaster
Mar 21, 2012

The internet is home to thousands of thousands of tests and quizzes each promising everything from your IQ to the Glee character that most resembles you. Now we bring you a new test that really kinda probably doesn’t work, but it’s fun to try.

Using just a pen and paper you can get a snapshot of your current mental state. But to get a super-duper accurate reading you CANNOT scroll down to until you complete each step, OK?