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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 180)

Language and Genitalia Controversies Beleaguer Japan’s Lovable Robot Cat Doraemon

The blue robot cat from the future known as Doraemon has long entertained generations of Japanese people for decades.

Despite becoming an entrenched cultural icon in Japan, people in some parts of the world might not be familiar with the franchise. The story is centered on a young boy named Nobita who through various mishaps lands himself in trouble. However, an anthropomorphic robot cat had been sent from his descendant in the future to prevent him from becoming a total screw-up. Doraemon is equipped with a pocket on his stomach from which he can pull a seemingly endless array of tools to help his young friend. Usually the tools are misused by Nobita which comically worsens the situation.

In real life though it seems the formula has reversed for Doraemon as he is tangled in two awkward situations at once, involving the languages of Bangladesh and what (if anything) exists between his legs.

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Mr. Sato Gets a Turkish Makeover with “A Popular Hairstyle” of the Nation

Our Mr. Sato has struggled with hairstyles in the past, and his troubles are compounded further by his jet-setting international lifestyle. A hairstyle that’s cool in one country can be totally dorky in another. The mullet’s continued success in Japan is testament to that.

So, when visiting Turkey recently, our reporter went to a barber and asked for “a popular hairstyle in Turkey.” Could this be the start of a sexier Mr. Sato?

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Virus Attacking Necklaces Recalled for Attacking Humans

Virus Protector is a Japanese product composed of a vinyl pouch that you hang by a strap around your neck. When unsealed it claims to “remove bacteria, virus and odors from the surrounding area creating a decontamination space.”

On February 18 the Consumer Affairs Agency of Japan issued a warning for people to stop using Virus Protector brand products immediately.

The reason? Apparently, Virus Protector had considered humans in the same family of germs and bad smells and set out to eliminate us as well.

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You’ll Never Guess What’s for Breakfast at McDonald’s in Turkey

For tourists everywhere, McDonald’s offers a taste of familiarity. Granted it’s not sophisticated or healthy, but for travelers feeling overwhelmed by language or cultural barriers there is no better quick escape.

However, visitors to Turkey may be shocked at what they find in the local McDonald’s there.  For those fleeting breakfast hours the Turkish McDonald’s breakfast combos as we know them take on a totally new form, and I guarantee it’s the last thing you’d expect from McDonald’s.

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Any owner of a large corporation would be proud to have someone like Tomohiro Kimura on their payroll. This selfless employee really took one for the team by getting himself arrested on 17 February in Wakayama Prefecture on suspicion of destruction of property. In doing so he helped to generate more news for his employer, Japanese media giant, Asahi Shinbun.

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Ronald McDonald and Donald Duck’s Illegitimate Love Child Discovered in Myanmar

This is the end♪My only friend the end♫

“Yangon… $#@%. I’m still only in Yangon!” Kuzo thought to himself as he awoke in his hotel room in Yangon (aka Rangoon), the largest city in Myanmar (aka Burma). He had been sent on a mission from RocketNews24 to find the fabled spawn of forbidden love between two high ranking mascots – Donald Duck and Ronald McDonald.

Code named Ronald McDonald Duck, it was rumored to be doing small-time rep work for a fast food joint around the city.

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Tipping in Japan: Yes, It Exists and It’s Confusing

Flipping through any travel guide about Japan you will learn that Japan is a country where tipping is non-existent. Leaving your change on the table at a restaurant may result in the waiter chasing you down to give it back.

But in Japan there actually is a system of tipping that exists but is tangled in a mysterious system of formality that no one really seems sure of. In an interview with Yahoo! Japan, Nobuko Akashi of the Japan Manners & Protocol Association attempts to unravel this system so we can all know when and where it’s appropriate to tip in Japan.

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Win a Set of 10 NES Games by Correctly Guessing Where Their Photo Was Taken

Yahoo! Auction in Japan has been used in creative ways before, but now we are seeing an auction that’s not even an auction at all.

The item in question is a set of 10 vintage 80s Nintendo games, but this auction isn’t about the item. It’s a contest that would require some keen detective work to solve. The person who can correctly identify the location where the games were photographed  will get them all for free. To spice things up, the “seller” also put up some hints and further photos of the area.  Think you can figure it out?

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Previously we reported on the global reaction regarding a beautiful piece of architecture in Osaka, the shopping center Namba Parks (pictured above), which looks especially stunning when viewed from a high place.

However, another amazing photo surfaced on 9GAG a while back. Taken from a high angle it revealed an even more shockingly designed building that’s arguably even more impressive than Namba Parks.

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Could Japan’s Latest Buzz Word Get You Sued? Lawyer Weighs In

One coinage that has been steadily building in popularity in the economically mired nation of Japan is “black business” (burakku kigyou). A black business is described as a company that overworks its employees, harasses them, and/or pays significantly low wages for the work provided.

The term, which can be traced back to the 2011 book by Haruki Konno, Black Business: The Monster Devouring Japan, is frequently used on blogs and social networks. Infamous message board 2channel even has a thread which ranks the blackest of companies in Japan.

But with all the bandying about of this phrase, one has to wonder what the legal dangers are of it. Black or not, these companies will do what it takes to protect their brand and to anyone who slaps the black business label on them, will slap back with a lawsuit.

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Register Rage: Osaka City Official Arrested for Allegedly Punching Out Register’s LCD Display

On 6 February, Osaka Prefectural Police announced that a 45-year-old man working for the Osaka City Construction Bureau had been arrested on suspicion of destruction of property.

In what could best be described as “register rage” the man was upset with the speed of the cashier and took his aggression out on the store’s age verification check with his fist.

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Strange Local Laws in Japan, Tax Dollars at Work

Buckle up everyone! We’re gonna talk about municipal ordinances!

We’ve all heard stories of real laws that seem to defy logic like “no petting horses on Sunday” and such.  The survey addicts at MyNavi had asked people about some unusual local laws and what they got were reports of Cupid Committee’s and McMansions.

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Tokyo University Students Develop Simple Device to Turn All Your Home Appliances into Smart Appliances

The idea of “smart appliances” has been around for a while now, but has yet to really infiltrate the average household. Even having moderately priced smart machines running your home would add up considering you’d have to replace all of your old stuff.

The young developers of “Pluto” offer a simple solution which would allow you to smartify all of your currently existing home electronics for the reasonable price of 12,800yen (US$140).

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Giant Underwater Pill-Bug Refuses to Eat for 4 Years, Scientists Puzzled Why It’s Being Such a Jerk

On 4 January at the Toba Aquarium in Mie Prefecture, Takaya Moritaki prepared a bowl of mackerel and encouraged himself saying “Maybe today will be the day.”

It was feeding time again for the giant isopods, and, for one of the crustaceans, it was the four-year anniversary of their refusal to eat anything at all.

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The Twitter Experiment II: How to Get Replies from Celebrities on Twitter

Thanks to Twitter, we common folk get an unprecedented level of access to the celebrities previously could only gaze at from below. For example, how else but with Twitter could some guy call a multi-billionaire “baldy” directly?

Prominent Twitter researchers at Omocoro – who taught us that attaching clothes pins to your naked body can result in over 1,000 retweets – have developed secret ways to draw tweet replies out of  Japan’s entertainment elite.

Our story begins one January day in the Omocoro editor’s room…

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Air Fryer to Be Released in Japan, Easy Oil-Free Frying Awaits

Although it’s hard to tell just by looking at them, people in Japan love fried food. As delicious as food fried in oil is, it’s high in calories and cholesterol, flammable, and messy. But thanks to the recent development of air fryers, we can now get crispy French fries without the greasy baggage that comes along with it.

From 20 April, Ashikaga-based appliance manufacturer TMY will release its own version of oil-free fryer, named Air Fryer, across the country.

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A while back we showed some action figure stop motion animation that was amazing in quality but… well, really weird. Watching it you couldn’t help but wonder “wow, if only this level of quality was executed with a more lucid plot.”

Enter Counter656 Productions which seems to be one Taiwanese man in his living room with action figures.  He’s been at it for a while but recently out did himself with a battle scene between Dragon Ball’s Trunks and Piccolo.

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Japanese Government and Industries Battle Copyright Infringement by Hiding Strongly Worded Letters on P2P Networks

On 25 January, Japan’s Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications along with various motion picture and music associations announced their latest copyright protection measure, dubbed “Operation Decoy File.”

The plan involves inserting files onto Japan’s popular P2P (peer-to-peer) file sharing networks such as Winny and Share which appear to contain popular copyrighted material.  However, once downloaded, the file is revealed to be a message appealing the user to reconsider their wicked ways.

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Japan’s Secret Weapon Against the Flu Deemed Ineffective by Ministry of Health

According to Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare (MHLW) during the period of 14-20 January, the number of influenza cases in the country has exceeded 110,000.

Schools and facilities for the elderly across Japan have been pushing a traditional three pronged attack against the flu virus. First, hand washing is a no-brainer (or at least it out to be). Also, anyone who has been to Japan has probably experienced the country’s love of surgical masks.

The third line of defense, however, is rather unique to Japan: gargling.  Although gargling is embraced worldwide as a soothing massage for throats sore from overuse or illness, in Japan it has been widely regarded for generations as a preventative measure against cold or flu viruses.

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