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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 189)

“Heavy Metal Idols” Perform for Audience of One Lucky Yahoo Auction Winner, Not a Dry Eye in the House

This photo might make you think that times are tough for the “heavy metal idols” in Alice Juban, oft referred to as the “sisters of rock.” Actually, it was an unprecedented promotion for the innovative idol group.

This September, major auction site Yahoo Auction opened a new category, Knowledge and Skills. Tucked away in there was a very special item up for bid: the girls of Alice Juban.

That didn’t sound right.  I didn’t mean the girls were selling themselves. They were selling the rights to an exclusive live performance for the winning bid in Shibaura, Tokyo on 10 October.

It turned out to be a really surreal event, and I don’t mean because of the usual hockey masks, chainsaws, and stage diving. It was a surprisingly touching performance that moved everyone in the room to tears.

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Cornman Continues to Patrol Tokyo’s Yamanote Line, but Why?

Recent reports of an unidentified passenger of the Yamanote subway line in Tokyo including this recent picture has every one asking: “Who is Cornman?” and more importantly, “What the hell is he doing?”

The first known photo (below) was tweeted back in May and showed a seemingly normal fellow towing what appeared to be a single unhusked ear of corn attached by a bright red dog leash heading towards the station exit.

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In many countries around the world governments and health organizations have been tightening the noose ever more around the already choking necks of average smokers.  By taxing the hell out of them and limiting smoking areas to under the floorboards of your house, smokers can scarcely relax with their favorite addiction.

Then we have the warning labels. Japanese cigarette packs have very minimal labels – for now – with some classy embossed printing.  Other countries such as Canada have been using graphic labels for quite some time.  They are rather unpleasant images of rotten teeth and people with tubes in their throat.

As bad as those images are they tend to lose their shock value quickly to the point that most smokers hardly notice them anymore.  Thailand, however, has taken the graphic label concept beyond unpleasant and into nightmare territory.

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A well-known Chinese writer with some controversial views on education got into dire straits in September after attempting to climb Mount Fuji with his children.  The purpose of the climb was a combination of a strict education regiment and as a way to promote Chinese patriotism.

Unaware that the climbing season ended at the end of August, they were turned back short of the summit, but not before being given extra clothing by a Japanese first aid officer.

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Find the Geek of Your Dreams at the 10th Otaku Marriage Hunting Masquerade Ball!

So you’re a middle aged person living in Japan with a mind to tie the knot but can’t seem to find that perfect match.  You went to a goukon and followed all the rules but still couldn’t land that potential spouse.

It could be because you’re a geek.  Now, that’s not as bad as it sounds. Statistics that I just pulled out of thin air suggest that up to 31% of us carry the otaku gene. Some of our best and brightest are nerds, such as Mark Zuckerberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Wayne Gretzky.

However, for the otaku, marriage can be as hard to complete as that level in Battletoads where you have ride the hover bike. This is why the town of Washimiya has set up the Otaku Marriage Hunting Masquerade Ball.

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Ichiro Reveals Inner Ninja during Second Game of Divisional Series

Can you spot what’s wrong with this picture?

That’s right. This slide into home is going the wrong way.  Some were concerned that future hall of famer Ichiro Suzuki may have been past his prime when added to the Yankees this year, but he certainly pulled his weight scoring the first run in their second divisional playoff game against Baltimore.

Ichiro, after being waved home suddenly found himself cut off by an early throw to Baltimore catcher Matt Wieters.  Staring an inevitable 3rd out in the face, Ichiro wondered “What would Naruto Uzumaki do right now?”

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Thanks to Hyogo Prefecture’s “Security Net” the public can easily access reports of crime occurring in their communities as it is reported. Earlier it had alerted local residents to a suspicious person resembling and acting like a motorcycle cop.

Now an odd case of indecent exposure involving a middle-aged man, school girl and a dachshund had occurred in Hamanomiya Park in Kakogawa city.

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Recent tapes released have sent ripples across Japan’s news programs showing first-hand Tokyo Electric Power Company’s (TEPCO) handling of the Fukushima Disaster.  Many were outraged over TEPCO management’s muddled communications with plant director, an increasingly frustrated Masao Yoshida.

Among the hours and hours of footage there’s one particularly odd incident in which one of the largest electric companies in Japan couldn’t seem to get their hands on a battery.  In fact, it took about a 24 hours and trip to the hardware store to buy it while on the brink of meltdown.

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Following a number of reddit users fawning over the greenery topped architecture of Namba Parks, this photo of a tiny single car parking complex also made a splash in different way.

Located by a pedestrian near Kanda Station people all over were perplexed and amused by this little business.  Many were confused over the inclusion of a vending machine, security camera, extensive signage, and space numbering system – for one space.

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Wait… Did Someone Just Sell a Human Skull on Yahoo Auction?!

A pretty rare item popped up on Yahoo Japan’s auction page recently seemingly just in time for the Halloween season.  From 26 September to 3 October, users were able to place their bid on a real human skull – at least I think it’s real according to the eerily vague product description.

At the closing, the winning bid was for 104,000 yen (US$1,300) which may or may not be a bargain. I haven’t been following the human bone index recently.

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For those of you who enjoy playing the lottery, here’s a story that should help put your odds of winning in perspective.

Last December, painter Shigeru Aikoh was arrested from robbing a Kushikatsu (deep fried snacks) restaurant in Settsu, Osaka.  However, prefectural police later discovered he was a part of a four man group responsible for a year-long crime spree around the prefecture totaling 4.5 million yen (US$572,000).

However, much to Aikoh’s dismay a fair chunk of that loot had turned out to be totally worthless.

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Rural Rest Stop Aims to be the Premier Location for Jet Black Food

Rest stops in Japan tend to be a little different from their western counterparts.  Aside from offering drivers a chance to stretch their legs and powder their noses, they often offer unique goods characteristic of the area.  Sometimes the rest stops are even the final destinations for summer road trips.

A perfect example of a unique rest stop is the Ranzan Parking Area (RPA) in Saitama prefecture along the Kanetsu Expressway.  Here you can get your hands on two specialty dishes, ice cream and curry, both black as midnight.

And before you say it: no, neither dishes use squid ink.

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Extremely Rare Hermaphrodite Stag Beetle on Display in Chiba Prefecture

Stag beetles have a special place in Japan. Looking like little monsters, children love to collect, raise, and maybe even battle them with other bugs.  An entire industry is built around these little critters in the country.

An incredibly rare stag beetle will be put on display in Chiba starting 6 October.  This beetle has the head of a male and the body of a female and may be the first ever of its kind discovered.

According to teacher Toshio Shimizu who works on the exhibit, stag beetles that are sexually divided from left to right are common, but a cleanly separated head and body hermaphrodite is a once in a lifetime find.

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Viral Video Worlds Collide: Hitler Raps to Gangnam Style

Hey! You got your Hitler videos in my K-Pop! You got your K-Pop in my Hitler videos!  Who would have thought that these two viral video titans would blend together so well?

The Chinese genius who created Dictator Rap: Gangnam Style from Hitler, that’s who.

The maker goes by the name Fei Yu from Luoyang, China, who posted the video on Chinese video site, bilibili.tv. From there it spread to YouTube and infamy.

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In Koga city, Shiga prefecture on October 3 at 9am a manhole cover unexpectedly shot seven meters into the air penetrating the roof over a gas station’s pumps.  The 36kg lid measuring 65cm in diameter returned to the ground luckily without hitting anyone.

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Lotteria’s Tower Cheeseburger Returns and It Brought Friends: Value, Shrimp, and Puns

Japanese fast food chain Lotteria is celebrating its 40th anniversary by bringing back the Tower Cheeseburger!  Yes, the Tower Cheeseburger is nothing new: RocketNews24 has reported on it before and, of course, made an ungodly sized burger out of it (pictured above).

Worry not though, as Lotteria has a lot more in store for its big 4-0.  For starters, the price of their 5-storey (five beef patties and five cheese slices) Tower Cheeseburger this year will cost a measly 500 yen! (US$6)

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Chinese Man’s Bladder Explodes after Drinking Game Turns Deadly

It’s a typical drinking challenge that many guys have gotten into at one point or another.  The first person to “break the seal,” or use the bathroom first, is the sucker who picks up the check.

Good times are had watching guys squirm it out and race to the urinal before wetting themselves, and all the funnier if they don’t make it in time.

However, for one group of friends in China, their friendly wager turned tragic leading to the near death of one man.

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Hitachi’s New Quartz Storage Technology Lets You Keep Your Data Safe for a Long, Long Time

At the recent International Symposium on Optical Memory in Tokyo, Hitachi, working with Kyoto University, presented their new type of digital storage.  It works on a principle similar to CDs but with a few added benefits like withstanding over 1000℃ temperatures.

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Despite China’s booming development in recent years, their media has been reluctant to toot their own patriotic horn and limited themselves to phrases like “potential superpower”.

It looks like the kid gloves are off now though, as South China Post kicked off the newest nickname for the PRC, “beginning superpower” last week.  This follows a busy summer of superpower-like imposition and disregard for neighboring countries all along the nation’s coasts.

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Office Meeting Room Desk that Charges Mobile Devices Developed

With all the constant updates to smartphones and other portable devices, you would think it would be easy to maintain decent battery power by now. But no matter how smart Siri seems to get, most people still have to charge her up on a daily basis.

Some companies have decided to tackle this problem by making charging more accessible, which is where the desk above comes in:  this unassuming piece of office furniture also has a built in wireless battery charger.

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