Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 189)

Man Frames Octopus for Murder or Vice-Versa, Trial Ongoing in South Korea

In Incheon, South Korea, a bizarre murder trial is taking place surrounding the 2010 death of a 22 year-old woman, referred to as Ms. Y.  The defendant is her boyfriend, 31 year-old Mr. K.  Prosecutors are demanding that Mr. K be sentenced to death for her murder.

With a key piece of evidence missing, he must convince the court of his side of the story: an octopus did it.

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Some photos recently posted on reddit of a shopping mall in central Osaka surprised those not living Japan some of whom wanted to live in the mall. This, in turn, surprised Japanese people who didn’t know it was that amazing to others.

The mall, aptly named Namba Parks certainly looks beautiful from this angle but there is actually function as well as form at work here.

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“Paranormal Homerun” That has Baffled Everyone Scientifically Explained

http://youtu.be/J7r34KTpM2M

We usually hear of pitchers utilizing killer breaking balls to earn need strikes in clutch moments, but how often do you see a batter hit what appears to be a curve ball in what Japanese baseball fans have dubbed the “paranormal homerun.”

The above video was taken during the sixth inning of a game between the (Tokyo) Yomiuri Giants and the Yokohama DeNA BayStars on 26 August. You have to watch it carefully, but if you follow this homerun, it seems to clearly change its trajectory – almost as if it was bouncing off some invisible object.

What followed was a flurry of speculation and theories ranging from the logical to the ridiculous However, one video on YouTube almost certainly has closed the case on this magical hit.

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Japan Develops Lantern Which Runs Solely on Salt and Water, Makes You Wish You Paid More Attention in School

Electronics company Greenhouse is set to release a lantern that runs on just salt and water. It uses that old favorite of high school science teachers everywhere, electrolysis, in combination with efficient light producing LEDs to provide strong and long lasting light free of conventional batteries.

And that lesson seemed so useless when I was doing it…

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Expensive “Cybernetic Mumification” of Japan’s Tree of Hope Draws Criticism from the Net

The city of Rikuzentakata was thoroughly devastated by the March 11 tsunami.  However, following the destruction a single 27 meter 200 year-old pine tree was left standing, the sole survivor of a forest of 70,000 trees along the coast line.  The tree had become a symbol of hope for the country and local government vowed to protect it at all costs.

However, for the past year the tree’s health had been fading fast and it doesn’t have much longer to live.  And so the city’s government is going to enact a preservation scheme which is rubbing Japanese netizens the wrong way due to its 150,000,000 yen (US$1.9M) price tag.

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Japan Set to Erect 7.5 Meter Middle Finger Salute to Incoming Tsunamis

Needless to say, Japan has had their fill of Tsunamis.  After the devastation of the 11 March Tohoku earth quake, the nation would like to give a huge FU to any future tsunami coming our way.

And so, three huge Japanese contractors are working on a special surprise for the next tsunami that tries to hit the shores of Wakayama prefecture in the form of a gigantic steel column. If successful it would be so poetically beautiful… if the Japanese only knew the beauty of the middle finger.

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Mamma Mia! Italians Think Japanese Eat Sushi Off of Naked Women?

Recently our correspondent Kuzo was interviewing pizzerias in Sicily.  As a result he found himself eating pizza all day every day. Being a gastronomic pro, our reporter was unfazed, but suddenly wondered how the sushi in Italy was.  Figuring Sicily’s excellent seafood may yield some equally good sushi, he tracked down a restaurant in Palmero.

However, what he found was so shocking, he couldn’t even remember how the sushi tasted.  Kuzo had stumbled on the fabled practice of nyotaimori – eating sushi off naked women.

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Japanese Men and Women Rank Which Countries They’d Look to for a Mate

A lot of people have romantic fantasies of hooking up with someone from another country.  Yet there are rare opportunities for the mystery and novelty of such a relationship for most people.  That shouldn’t stop us from dreaming of it though.

The folks at MyNavi set up a survey asking men and women what country besides Japan they’d go in search of a girlfriend or boyfriend.  Based on this survey here are the top 5 countries for both Japanese men and women and reasons for their choices.

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Commuters, Mothers and Government Bump Heads Over Baby Buggy Posters

Japan is a country notorious for its high level of politeness.  However, deep within its tangled, serpentine train system, common courtesy is often cast aside and Thunderdome rules apply.  I’ve seen grown men push aside old ladies and old ladies push aside me in order to get the best spot.

This being the case, Tokyo Metropolitan Area’s rail companies and the city itself began to spread over 5,000 posters calling for passengers to give some leeway to women with baby carriages.  As a result, they have received over 1,000 complaints and growing.

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On 20 August, a lengthy flight delay turned ugly at an airport in Beijing, where frustrated customers complaining snowballed into a scene from a zombie movie.  In the middle of the fracas someone took a video and posted it on the internet.

In the video, a peculiar image of an airline employee just lying motionless on the floor has people asking: “Did he confuse his ‘what to do during a customer complaint’ manual with his ‘what to do during a bear attack’ one?”

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http://youtu.be/AyHYAqscV1E

AKB48, the darlings of the Japanese pop scene, may have danced one step over the line sweet Jesus with their newest commercial for Puccho candy.  The commercial first aired on 25 August and seems to have drawn a collective “yuggghhh” from the nation.

In it the girls dance away brandishing the product as only they can do.  Except this time, all but one of their bodies have been digitally replaced by 5 and 6 year olds.

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Flat-Screen Folk Art Rallies to Save the Surprisingly Deep Culture of Putting Stuff on Top of Your TV Set

After the recent switch from analog to digital terrestrial broadcasting in Japan, more and more people are making the switch to flat screen units.  And as the streets find themselves more and more littered with discarded boxy cathode ray tube model TV’s, Japan may have accidentally thrown something else in the trash – a piece of their culture and heritage.

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Be it drowning family members or rescuing neighbors from pits of crap, China continues to not disappoint in the things that make you go “hmmm” department.

This time, let’s say that the son of a wealthy family killed an innocent bystander while drag racing on city streets and is up on a variety of charges, possibly resulting in the death penalty.

In an effort to protect their unfortunate son, the family asks you to be his substitute in prison.  The sentence is guaranteed to be reduced to – oh, let’s say 3 years – and you’ll get paid for every day of it.  What would you do?  What would you charge?

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Japanese Clothing Ad Gives Us a Glimpse at the Real Japan

People often ask me why I moved to Japan and I say “to be with people like me – with blonde hair and blue eyes.”  Japan is a homogenous country to be sure, but a recent advertisement from clothing chain COMME ÇA ISM boldly challenges this mistaken stereotype that Japan is full of Japanese people.

It’s actually full of white people!

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Tokyo Electric Employee’s Children Targets for Bullying, Forced to Give Money to Classmates to Repay Rate Hikes

Tokyo Electric Power Company has lost a considerable amount of goodwill following last year’s nuclear disaster.  While the level of blame that should be placed on the company as a whole is still to be determined, low level employees of the company often face the immediate brunt of the hostility.

It appears now that even the children of TEPCO employees are having to answer for the choices their parents’ employers made by their classmates. But how are elementary school students so up to speed on the nation’s energy situation?

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Award Winning Manga to be Freely Used by Anyone for Anything Anytime, Author Will Not Request Royalties

Shuho Sato, the writer of Burakku Jyakku ni Yoroshiku, which commonly translates to “Say Hello to Black Jack,” is planning to make the award winning, 10 million copy selling manga available for free “second use.”

This means that after 15 September anyone in the world will be free to novelize, televise, create merchandise, or in any way adapt the original work for either commercial or non-commercial purposes without having to pay royalties.  This is the latest move in the writer’s quest to find alternatives to the “outdated” model of intellectual property rights.

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Eat like a Champ, Eat with a Woman’s Legs, Just Remember to Remove the Stockings First

So by now all us alpha-males have purchased our bathing beauty iPhone cases, but are left wondering: How do I hypnotize the ladies with my machismo during meals?  It would be rude to pull out one’s mobile phone while eating after all.

Well, picture this: Just before having dinner with that lucky lady you slowly and gently peel down the stockings along those smooth and silky legs – of your sexy lady chop sticks!

Trust me boys, the deal will be sealed after that.

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Company Accidently Recreates Milky Way Using a River in China

The river you see here has been used by the residents of this part of Wenzhou, China daily for doing the wash. However, on the morning of 9 August they awoke to a puzzling sight. 

The river had been dyed a milky white color overnight.

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In addition to two months of temperatures over 35℃, Japan has recently been hit with a spate of lightning storms. In fact, when writing a previous story my building was hit by lightning knocking out my computer and forcing a rewrite. The son of a…

Anyway, with all this lightning around and pretty much the entire population carrying cameras built into their phones, a person’s natural inclination is to try and take a picture of a bolt.

One person though was not only lucky enough to actually be able to catch a bolt in a photo, but found something far stranger.

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Overseas Edition of “Prince’s Proposal” Getting Turned Down by Fans: “Princes Look Disgusting”

Unlike American game makers, Japanese video game companies often sweat over every detail before selling their games overseas to make sure it fits the culture.  Although the sentiment is appreciated the results are often poor, as people in other countries enjoy those cultural differences more often than not.

Case in point is Prince’s Proposal’s (Ojisama no Puropozu) treacherous journey abroad.  Prince’s Proposal is an otome game where your character, a university student, has a chance encounter with six princes whom you must find romance with by making the right choices throughout the story.

Its recent westernized incarnation called Be My Princess, however, decided to replace the stylish anime princes and characters with rubbery, emotionless ones.

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