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Twisted Japanese: It’s not what you say, but how you say it!

As any Japanese speaker will no doubt tell you, the Japanese language, although tricky to master, is incredibly convenient. Not only can we entirely omit words such as “I” or “you” and simply say things like “taberu?” (“eat?”) or “iku?” (“go?”) and it still be perfectly acceptable, but there are also set phrases for use in a multitude of situations, the like of which simply do not exist in many other languages.

But even something as simple as the phrase yoroshiku onegaishimasu (lit. “Please do good (for me),” and used when asking for something or beginning a meeting, class, or even a work or training session) can be quite a mouthful at first. Thankfully though, a recent post made by a Japanese net user suggests that so long as you mutter something that sounds like the actual phrase, you’ll probably get by just fine.

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Earlier this month, the Katamachi branch of the Chinese food restaurant Gyoza no Osho (King of Gyoza) in Kanazawa City, Japan, shut down after a group of men decided to drop in on the royal dumpling restaurant dressed in nothing but their birthday suits.

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15-year-old girl tries to scam adult out of $40,000 – gets caught dressed like a businessman

What is with the kids these days? First, it was high school students committing gruesome murders and now it’s middle school students getting involved in telephone scams.

It’s enough to make you shout, “Are the kids alright??”

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Hot new item for habitual nose pickers

The feeling of wanting to pick one’s nose is something that every boy and girl can relate to. Unfortunately, society frowns upon people who blatantly go on a booger hunt. In Japan, even blowing your nose in public can be considered bad manners! We’re not sure how sniffling up your snot for hours is better than dispelling it all in one go, but that’s beside the point.

Bandai has a brand new product to ease that natural urge. When your nose has an itch that you’re just twitching to pick, here’s a prosthetic nose that you can pick even in public!

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Give your smartphone a dose of Hatsune Miku with this unfeasibly large negi case

Fans of Hatsune Miku who picked up one of Sony’s Miku-themed Xperia A smartphones will no doubt be delighted to hear that they now have the chance to make their mobile that little bit more digital diva. Produced by the creators of genius accessories such as the egg-on-toast cover and ramen bowl stand, Hamee, and sold via Japanese online accessory store Strapya, this onion-equipped smartphone case is sure to make your feelings about the Vocaloid Queen plain for all to see.

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Japan questions imagery in risque portraits by New Zealand Prime Minister’s daughter

The current prime minister of New Zealand, John Philip Key, has been big in the news lately owing to his 20-year-old daughter, Stephie Key. Stephie is currently studying in France at the highly acclaimed art school, Paris College of Art, and is causing quite a stir with her newest string of risqué self portraits. Controversial as the work might be, it’s also quite cutting-edge, as one of her pieces was chosen to promote Paris Design Week on the second week of September.

But, it’s neither the nudity nor the artistry that caught the attention of Japanese news outlets. You see, many of the pictures contain words and themes that are obviously intended to be Japanese, but leave actual Japanese people scratching their heads.

Caution: some pictures contained in this article are not safe for work.

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Dangan Ronpa and Ted come together for some bear-y cute naughtiness!

Though Ted may be the most-well-known naughty teddy bear in the world, he is by no means the only one. We imagine that Monokuma, of the murder-mystery game/manga/anime Dangan Ronpa, may be a close Japanese second with its cackling and murderous tendencies. For fans of both of the animated characters, it might seem like a perfect match to have these black-humored bears on the screen together.

Alas, there’s probably no one mad enough to approve that combination, right?

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Man arrested for stealing 200 bicycle seats for their “scent of a woman”

It’s been nearly three days since we last reported on the arrest of a sexual deviant inventing a new way to get himself arrested by throwing pee at young women. So we’re clearly long overdue for another guy pushing the envelope of creepy crime.

On 24 August, Kanagawa Prefectural Police picked up Joji Kondo for stealing three seats from women’s electric bicycles in a housing complex at around 4:00 in the morning. After searching Kondo’s home they uncovered a further 200 seats.

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Colossal hovercraft crashes pleasant day at the beach in Russia

Who doesn’t love a nice Sunday at the beach? It’s that one day of the week when we can all kick back and soak up some rays while listening to the relaxing sound of waves lapping against the shore.

At least some of us can while many other people still have to work on Sundays, including those in the Russian Navy who were doing a training exercise. However, it would appear this time they decided to make a detour and sneak their enormous hovercraft onto a locally popular beach on the Baltic Sea for some fun in the sun of their own.

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This new Tetris speed record will leave you open-mouthed 【Video】

Ladies and gentlemen, put down your smartphones, close your Nintendo DSes and power off your controllers. Even if you once thought that you were “kinda pretty good” at Tetris, you should know now that you will never, ever win.

Shared on YouTube earlier this week, the following video shows Japanese player keroco blitz through the game’s “clear mode” and send 40 lines of blocks to digital oblivion in an epic 19.68 seconds, setting a new world record in the process. Doesn’t sound so fast? Check this out.

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NHK gets weather reports backwards, no one notices for months

We always suspected that the weatherman didn’t know what he was talking about, but this is just crazy.

It has recently come to light that the NHK Nagoya broadcasting office has been accidentally switching the weather reports for two prefectures. And you’ll never believe how long it took someone to notice.

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It’s an epidemic! Worldwide freezer diving!

Avid readers of RocketNews24 might have noticed our series of articles earlier this month about Japan’s latest fad, freezer diving. This year’s summer heat wave has inspired a whole string of idiotic people to climb into convenience store freezers as a way to beat the blazing weather.

Now, whether it’s a result of Japanese media hype or individual inspiration, pictures of people inside fridges and freezers are popping up all over the world. The latest country to join in the craze was China.

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Japan Post provides sample letters for marriage proposals and other personal messages

The Internet is full of sample sentences and letter structures to use when writing business mail, cover letters, or press releases. They’re an invaluable resource if you wish to be taken seriously, especially when you’re not used to writing letters for professional purposes.

Now, the Japan Post is extending their helpful how-to section to include more than just business examples. They’ve got sections for season’s greetings, ceremonial matters (such as invitations and notifications), and even personal letters! Apparently, the art of letter writing is so lost on Japanese people that they require a standard format to follow for the confidence of writing to one another. There are 19 categories outlined in the personal letters section, including advice, requests, and even marriage proposals! It’s like Japan has been taken back to the days of passing notes in middle school! “Do you like me? Check yes, no, or explain your decision using the standard letter format outlined by the Japan Post.” Read More

Behold: the molting man! Is this sunburn or lizard skin?

When summertime comes, it’s usually a case of the less clothing the better, and this year’s Asian heat wave has proved to be particularly cruel. It’s common sense to shed layers when working outside in this broiling weather. But I’d say that shedding an entire layer of skin is taking it a step too far!

This month, a very peculiar Twitter picture has been making the rounds. Looking at the label, it would appear that we have a real, live lizard-man on our hands! But be warned, it’s not a pretty sight.

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Imuraya brags about the stiffness of their sweet bean bars…“Watch your teeth!”

Imuraya Confectionary is a Japanese sweets company that specializes in the sale of adzuki (sweetened red bean) products. They pride themselves on sticking to traditional Japanese flavors and sticking to their strange marketing strategies just as hard.

Recently, Imuraya made a pair of official Twitter posts cautioning people against the stiffness of their top-selling Adzuki Bar! This frozen slab of bean paste is a summer favorite across Japan, but according to Imuraya’s own assertions, they can crack your teeth!

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Are these the five weirdest video games of all time?

Observed by those who don’t play them, video games may all seem a little bit peculiar. Mushroom-eating plumbers stomping hammer-throwing turtles, ultra-violent military shooters whose protagonists bound across battlefields shouldering rocket launchers while hurling grenades and taking bullet after bullet to the chest, and of course the hordes of zombie titles that, like their lumbering stars, simply won’t die. For those accustomed to the rules of these digital worlds, though, this all makes perfect sense.

There are occasionally, however, a few titles that even the gaming elite would recoil from wearing an expression somewhere between “ermahgerd” and “turd sandwich”, and YouTube-based ZoominGames believes they’ve identified the cream of said crop. So let’s take a look at the channel’s “Top 5 Weird Games” one by one and see if they’re really they freaky affairs they’re made out to be. Oh, and did we mention that all five happen to have been made in Japan…?

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“Customers also bought…”: Product searches for rope on Amazon JP yield creepy results

A friend of mine once shared an image with me of the product recommendations section from Amazon.com, which showed a copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 paired with a bulk pack of adult daipers. Apart from shut-ins who would rather soil themselves than leave their military-based shooter and go to the bathroom, it’s hard to imagine why Amazon’s super computers would suggest that the two products were a perfect match.

An equally odd product pairing appearing on Amazon JP caught the attention of Japanese netizens earlier today, but rather than giving them a good chuckle it has quite freaked them out.

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The importance of the hand luggage inspection area at airports simply cannot be underestimated. Sure, they’re time consuming and can be an irritating experience for frequent fliers, but without them it would be impossible to ensure the safety of passengers on board aircraft. However, despite procedures becoming ever more stringent in recent years, it hasn’t stopped some passengers looking for ways to slip prohibited items past security. At one Chinese airport, for example, one man recently tried a quite bizarre tactic to smuggle his pet turtle onto the plane: pretending it was a hamburger.

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Minor earthquake brings laughter, bikini girl to Japan

At 12:30 p.m. on Sunday, August 4, Northeastern Japan started to shake. On the Japanese shindo scale, the quake measured between 3 and 4 (overhead lights sway and objects rattle, but some people who are on the move may not notice it) in most areas, a ‘low-5’ at its strongest. Thankfully, there are thought to have been no casualties as the tremor was relatively short-lived, and with the quake of March 2011 and weeks of resulting aftershocks having been far stronger, the people of Tohoku are now fairly hardened when it comes to smaller rumbles.

Curiously though, no sooner had the earthquake passed than a few jokesters began sharing the above image from the Japan Meteorological Agency, along with messages of “LOL” and ‘Why do I suddenly feel like I want to go to Northeastern Japan?”

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