Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 131)

Nagano man questioned by police for broadcasting himself drowning a cat in the river

On 29 June, Nagano police were inundated with demands for an investigation after live footage broadcast over Japan’s Niconico Video showed a caged cat being left to drown in a river.

Warning: some readers may find the content of this report upsetting.

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A star is born: Twitter users have a field day with Assemblyman Nonomura’s teary defense

We generally paint politicians as a strange mix of arrogance and charm that seems to allow them to navigate through a variety of scandals. Through double talk and an almost sociopathic ability to ignore facts, an elected official caught red-handed lying or worse can somehow convince the public that maybe we’re the ones who made a mistake.

And then there’s Ryutaro Nonomura who seems to have turned the politician’s playbook on its head with his move of crying and shouting non-sequiturs in the face of accusations regarding use of public money. It seems to be working though as Twitter users are far less concerned about misappropriation than they are about how to best turn him into a lolcat.

The following is a selection of tweets featuring the people’s take on the assemblyman that became an internet sensation through photo altering, music, and latte art.

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Tokyo woman arrested for streak of poo-throwing incidents over neighbor’s “noisy” car door

On 1 July, Tokyo Metropolitan Police announced the arrest of 53-year-old Yuri Hamajima on suspicion of disturbing the peace. If proven guilty this will come as a relief to Ms. Hamajima’s neighbors who woke up every morning for six months wondering if a pile of human excrement was waiting outside their home.

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We ask Arashi fans why the boy band is so popular… because we couldn’t figure it out ourselves

Arashi is a common Japanese word meaning “storm” but utter it to any Japanese person and images of the top male idol unit in the country will likely cross their minds before those of cloudy skies and overflowing gutters. Not a day goes by without Arashi appearing on some television show, and every album they release is pretty much guaranteed to hit number one.

However, the thing is… we don’t understand why they are so successful. Not to take anything away from Arashi as performers – they’re good looking chaps who have a sound easier to digest than a cup of warm yogurt. We just don’t get why they stand above all of the other boy bands on the scene in Japan who seem to be and do exactly the same thing. So, we sent our reporter P.K. Sunjun to interview Arashi fans and get to the bottom of the group’s appeal.

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Rare and empty pack of smokes now selling on Yahoo! Japan Auction for $300,000

Ever since 2005, the Japanese government has mandated that at least 30 percent of a tobacco product’s warning label contain a written warning about the hazards of smoking. Even prior to that in 1990, there was a mandatory warning written along the side of packs which read, “Warning: too much smoking is a risk to your health.”

In fact we have to go way back to before 1972 until we can find Japanese cigarettes without a warning label. One such pack is currently under the virtual hammer of Yahoo! Japan Auction with bids starting at 30,000,000 yen (US$296,000). Appropriately, the name of this brand of cigarettes is Hope.

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Prepare to feel old: survey says over half of 20-somethings “don’t know Gundam”

It’s amazing how memory fades over time. Trying to recollect my favorite childhood programs is often a foggy mess. For example, I remember one cartoon where the good guys drove robot cars with arms and the bad guys were these weird plant cars. For the life of me I can’t remember the name of that show in spite of the deep-rooted hatred of trees and vegetables it instilled in me.

Shows like that were great but as they say, the true classics are the ones that stand the test of time. Surely Gundam, arguably the most famous giant robot anime, is among that class, right? Magazine R25 suggests it might not be. Despite Mobile Suit Gundam’s long legacy of series, R25 claims that 51 percent of Japanese men in their twenties who were surveyed said they “do not know Gundam.” Read More

Japanese Twitter users square off in Adios Guy Photoshop Championship

With the Japanese national team’s hopes of winning the World Cup championship dashed far too early this year. Japan’s soccer fans were left with mere scraps of enjoyment they once had in the tournament. Luckily though, every World Cup has its ancillary breakout star.

Last time, we saw the mystical talents of Paul the Octopus, and now the world finds itself staring in wonder at the phenomenon Japan has dubbed Adios Ojisan (Adios Guy). For those not familiar, Adios Ojisan was a guy in the audience of the Chile/Spain match (among others) holding up an iPad which read “Adios Spana.”

And so, with Team Japan out of the running, let us enjoy some highlights from the Adios Spana Photoshop Championship currently being held on Twitter!

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Craving cheese but on a diet? Try our “advanced tofu pickles!” 【Recipe】

Summer has a way of creeping up on us before we can shed those extra pounds in this, the season of skimpier clothing. As such many people take up diets including our own reporter, Hotaru. At one point during her weight management, Hotaru had decided to go to a vegan restaurant thinking it wouldn’t be as high in calories as other establishments.

However, when her curry arrived she noticed that there were little bits of what looked like cheese on top. They tasted kind of like cheese too. Confused by this non-vegan and diet-bending food, Hotaru asked the staff what it was. “Tofu pickles” they replied.

Hotaru also learned from them how to make this delectable topping and found it was actually incredibly easy. So easy, in fact, that she also developed her own “advanced tofu pickles” recipe. We’d now like to share these recipes with you so that you many enjoy some tofu pickles in your own home.

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The greatest “no parking” sign ever made

To many environmentalists, a city where most people get around by public transportation and bicycles may seem like a dream, but it’s also not without its share of daily nuisances.

The person who originally tweeted the above photo had said, “The area around this building is very tight due to illegally parked bikes… After I open shop I put out this sign and bikes don’t park here any more.” Over 15,000 Twitter users have agreed and called this the greatest “no parking” sign ever made.

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Be careful how you talk about “spaghetti” in Japanese — you may sound unhip

Although Italian in origin, the words pasta and spaghetti are now everyday words in English. Thanks to the foods’ proliferation around the world these words can also be found in Japanese, pronounced pasuta and supagettī respectively.

But in recent years, it seems as if the word “spaghetti” has been falling out of favor in Japan, being replaced by the word “pasta.” Although in English the distinction between “spaghetti” and “pasta” is pretty clear (pasta being the foodstuff, spaghetti one of its many varieties), it seems there is a whole other world of nuances when the words cross over into Japanese.

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Forget snack packs, South Korean school girls sporting full-on snack backpacks

Do you often find your purse, backpack, attaché case is crammed with sugary snacks to help you through your day? If so you may want to follow these girls’ example and have your snacks become the bag.

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We try Taiwan’s newest taste sensation: Pudding Ramen!

Taiwanese websites have been swirling with a new food fad that has taken the nation by storm. We’re not sure exactly where it started, but it probably had something to do with two people shouting, “Hey! You got your pudding in my ramen!” and “Hey! You got your ramen in my pudding!” And thus pudding ramen was born.

As the news hit the shores of Japan, we felt this was a combination that needed to be tested. It turns out that pudding ramen is not only tasty, it’s really cheap and easy too. Well played, Taiwan!

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Himeji City preparing to crack down on nuisance “walking biker gangs” (Yes, you read that right)

It’s June again, and that means it’s time for Himeji City in Hyogo Prefecture to hold its annual Himeji Yukata Festival! The three-day event incorporates around 800 businesses and draws in around 200,000 attendees, many of whom are dressed in traditional Japanese summer wear yukata.

It’s a festive time for the whole family, but the Himeji Yukata Festival also has a dark side that city officials and police are looking to stop once and for all. This problem comes in the form of biker gangs known in Japan as bōsōzoku. But these are not just any biker gangs; they’re biker gangs… without bikes.

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Cute d’état! Thousands of ducks take to the streets in Thailand

There’s a lot going on in Thailand at the moment, and you can be sure that those in the tourism industry watching visitor numbers plummet now that the country has fallen under military control are none too pleased, so it’s not surprising to hear of stories of anger and frustration. What we didn’t expect to see, though, were ducks taking to the street en masse as if in protest.

Check out this video of thousands of ducks waddling along together in an adorable yet really eerie demonstration of nature.

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Fundoshi Panties bring back traditional Japanese underwear style, promise a good night’s sleep

RocketNews24 has long stood behind the traditional Japanese loincloth known as a fundoshi. Every year when Fundoshi Day (14 February) rolls around we’re always sure to endorse fundoshi for all of their physical and spiritual benefits.

And now we have reason #165 on why fundoshi are awesome. They can help to prevent sleeping problems for women. At least, that’s the claim made by the makers of Fundoshi Panties now on sale in a mook by Makino Shuppan.

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Millennia of martial arts wisdom distilled in one video: 100 Ways to Attack the Groin

YouTube has really established itself as an invaluable resource for the information age. Through a simple search you can learn how to play the solos from Freebird, tie a windsor knot, get infinite 1-ups in Super Mario, and so much more.

Of course there are plenty of clips that teach us how to fight as well. But even with the convenience of streaming videos, learning a martial art takes patience and training. Actually it did until now. A new video by Ameri-Do-Te Master Ken has consolidated everything you need to know to win a fight in one video: 100 Ways to Attack the Groin.

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First new Japanese Apple Store opened in eight years, Apple fans celebrate best way they know how

On 13 June, the Omotesando Apple Store opened in Tokyo. It was a rare occasion, being the first of its kind to open in Japan since the Sapporo Apple store in 2006. Although no new product was released, an estimated 1,000 Apple fans came out to show their support in true Apple fashion by making a huge line.

We sent our local Apple line-up correspondent Mr. Sato to report from the frontline.

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Brass section rejoice! Your ideal smartphone accessory has arrived

This classy metallic smartphone accessory is currently in development by RepeCan a maker of custom instrument parts. For saxophone or brass instrument players that little thing should be instantly recognizable, and for many more it should conjure up an odorous memory or two of middle school music class.

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Samurai Vader: a historical take on a favorite from a galaxy far, far away

Ever since it hit the scene back in the ’70s, Star Wars was an early pioneer of movie merchandising. Decades later the gravy train of action figures, posters, lunch boxes, notebooks continues. Underoos, Shrinky Dinks, Jell-o molds, clothes hangers, chess sets, virtual keyboards, book ends, and um… I forgot where I was going with this.

For those of you who think it’s all been done before, we present to you something new from Bandai. Behold: Samurai Taisho Darth Vader.

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