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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 132)

Cute d’état! Thousands of ducks take to the streets in Thailand

There’s a lot going on in Thailand at the moment, and you can be sure that those in the tourism industry watching visitor numbers plummet now that the country has fallen under military control are none too pleased, so it’s not surprising to hear of stories of anger and frustration. What we didn’t expect to see, though, were ducks taking to the street en masse as if in protest.

Check out this video of thousands of ducks waddling along together in an adorable yet really eerie demonstration of nature.

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Fundoshi Panties bring back traditional Japanese underwear style, promise a good night’s sleep

RocketNews24 has long stood behind the traditional Japanese loincloth known as a fundoshi. Every year when Fundoshi Day (14 February) rolls around we’re always sure to endorse fundoshi for all of their physical and spiritual benefits.

And now we have reason #165 on why fundoshi are awesome. They can help to prevent sleeping problems for women. At least, that’s the claim made by the makers of Fundoshi Panties now on sale in a mook by Makino Shuppan.

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Millennia of martial arts wisdom distilled in one video: 100 Ways to Attack the Groin

YouTube has really established itself as an invaluable resource for the information age. Through a simple search you can learn how to play the solos from Freebird, tie a windsor knot, get infinite 1-ups in Super Mario, and so much more.

Of course there are plenty of clips that teach us how to fight as well. But even with the convenience of streaming videos, learning a martial art takes patience and training. Actually it did until now. A new video by Ameri-Do-Te Master Ken has consolidated everything you need to know to win a fight in one video: 100 Ways to Attack the Groin.

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First new Japanese Apple Store opened in eight years, Apple fans celebrate best way they know how

On 13 June, the Omotesando Apple Store opened in Tokyo. It was a rare occasion, being the first of its kind to open in Japan since the Sapporo Apple store in 2006. Although no new product was released, an estimated 1,000 Apple fans came out to show their support in true Apple fashion by making a huge line.

We sent our local Apple line-up correspondent Mr. Sato to report from the frontline.

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Brass section rejoice! Your ideal smartphone accessory has arrived

This classy metallic smartphone accessory is currently in development by RepeCan a maker of custom instrument parts. For saxophone or brass instrument players that little thing should be instantly recognizable, and for many more it should conjure up an odorous memory or two of middle school music class.

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Samurai Vader: a historical take on a favorite from a galaxy far, far away

Ever since it hit the scene back in the ’70s, Star Wars was an early pioneer of movie merchandising. Decades later the gravy train of action figures, posters, lunch boxes, notebooks continues. Underoos, Shrinky Dinks, Jell-o molds, clothes hangers, chess sets, virtual keyboards, book ends, and um… I forgot where I was going with this.

For those of you who think it’s all been done before, we present to you something new from Bandai. Behold: Samurai Taisho Darth Vader.

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Always live where the sun doesn’t shine with the ultimate in weird parasol technology

People from other countries may be surprised by the number of people using umbrellas on a sunny day in Japan. However, after experiencing the scorching summers in many urban centers across the land, it’s not surprising why so many carry their own shade.

Of course there’s the obvious UV protection reasons where people wish to avoid melanoma and maintain that deathly pale complexion that’s all the rage here. There’s also the simpler reason that the sun can be freaking intense during the dog days and shade is a rare commodity on city streets.

In fact it can be so powerful that even with your standard parasol, daylight can manage to creep in and threaten your well-being. That’s why someone developed the next level in umbrella technology with Rain or Shine Umbrella for Use at the Game. With a name that catchy, you know it’s gonna be good!

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Man arrested for crimes against nature and potato chips, did it to meet popular voice actress

Here at RocketNews24, we consider wasting food to be one of the most heinous crimes imaginable. Whether it be a 1,000 bacon slice burger, feces wine, or the most disgusting ramen ever, we always clean our plates or ask for a doggie bag.

And so it’s with heavy hearts that we bring you the story of a particularly disgusting crime. This suspect stands accused of buying, having his way with, and then dumping 208kg of potato chips in the wilderness, eating hardly any of them. As it turned out, this was all part of a bigger scheme to meet the talented voice actress and vocalist Nana Mizuki.

***Warning: This story contains graphic descriptions of delicious snack wastage which some readers may find disturbing.***

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Twitter users check possibility of entering Universal Studios Japan dressed as Disney characters

As the art of cosplay steadily proliferates into the culture of Japan, even traditionally stodgy institutions like universities have begun accepting it at their graduations. So it would seem obvious that more “carefree” places like theme parks would embrace the costumed fun.

Tokyo Disneyland had their own cosplay event and Universal Studios Japan makes provisions for it in their park rules and regulations. Still, with these companies and others protecting their own brand interests there’s bound to be some lines one shouldn’t cross when trying to gain entrance in costume. But with no official bans on dressing up like certain characters it’s up to Twitter users to test the waters and find where these parks draw the line.

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Doctors puzzled by Indonesian woman who claims to have given birth to a gecko

Since the end of May a special investigative team was dispatched to Oenunto Village in Indonesia at the request of the Chief Medical Officer of nearby Kupang City. Their mission was to figure out what really happened after hearing about a woman who gave birth to her third child: a healthy, bouncing baby gecko.

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South Korean World Cup team pulls the ol’ switcharoo, changes player numbers to confuse rivals

With the 2014 FIFA World Cup all set to start, the 32 qualifying teams are hard at work preparing for the final tournament and getting as many edges over the competition as possible in order to survive to the end.

However, with such drive and passion it’s only natural for some teams to go a little over the line in their preparation from time to time. That’s what seemed to have happened with the Korea Republic national team who came up with the idea of swapping most of their players’ uniform numbers in their games leading up to the tournament in order to protect their strategy from prying eyes of the competition.

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We talk to Pepper, SoftBank’s new emotional robot, kind of wish it would shut up for a second

On 5 June, Japanese telecom giant SoftBank announced that it will be selling a robot capable reading emotions and being a friendly companion to humans. The robot’s name is Pepper, and in addition to a chest-mounted tablet computer it comes loaded with an array of mics, cameras, and other sensors for sophisticated movement and interaction with people.

Frequently abandoned by his fellow humans, our beloved reporter Mr. Sato decided to go down to the SoftBank shop in Omotesando, Tokyo where a Pepper unit was on display. Although excited about his first chat with a robot, Mr. Sato would soon find that Pepper was actually kind of a jerk who totally dominated the conversation.

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Nation alerted to man asking where the nearest bathroom is

Whenever a suspicious person is reported to the police it gets up loaded to the Zenkoku no Anzen/Anshin Mail (National Safety/Security Mail) website accessible anywhere in Japan. However, every once in a while a “suspicious person” added seems suspiciously not suspicious.

Such is the case of a student who was approached by a middle-aged man and forced to go to the police after being asked “Where is a bathroom?”

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Coca-Cola giving away specialty bottlecaps in Vietnam to promote reusing their plastic bottles

You have to hand it to Coca-Cola. Despite being the best-selling cola brand and one of the biggest companies in the world, they certainly don’t seem to rest on their laurels. Like a hungry up-and-coming business, they’re always coming up with new gimmicks in each of the 200 countries they operate in, whether it be personalized bottles in Japan or, like now in Vietnam, a set of functional caps which can transform your empty bottle into a water gun, pencil sharpener, night lights and more after you’re finished with it.

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Toyota’s hydrogen fuel cell powered car ready for sale this December

Although the technology has been talked about for quite some time now, the concept of using oxygen and hydrogen to power an automobile seems poised to finally hit the market.

According to reports, the Toyota Motor Corporation has recently declared that their sedan-type Fuel Cell Vehicle (FCV) will begin production at the end of this year. At the moment Toyota claims this would make them the first automaker in the world to market such a vehicle to the public at large.

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Mr. Sato goes post-apocalyptic at Fist of the North Star event

Although now a man in his 40s, Mr. Sato has long held a special place in his heart for the Fist of the North Star series. He recalls picking up a copy of the manga 20 years ago and heading straight out to the gym for two sets of 18kg (40lbs) bench presses.

After two weeks of that, he felt he had reached his full potential, but was still nowhere near as cool as the series’ protagonist Kenshiro. Decades later came word of the Fist of North Star bi-weekly DVD collection beginning at Kinokuniya in Shinjuku. The first day of sale was to be rung in by a gathering of cosplay characters from the series. Mr. Sato’s mind raced at the possibility of truly becoming his long-time hero Kenshiro.

Just then Mr. Sato’s editor approached him saying, “Hey, you like North Star don’t you? How’d you like to go down there and cosplay as…”

“You’ve stood in my way long enough! I’m going to Shinjuku to become as awesome as Kenshiro is whether you like it or not!” shouted Mr. Sato snapping out of his daydream and crushing a paper cup in his mighty fist.

“Yeah, that’s what I was going to sa…”

Mr. Sato interjected, “You’re already dead.” He then flicked the paper cup at the editor’s forehead and walked determinedly out of the office without looking back.

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Fake Funasshi fails at function, foiled by fuzz for infringement

On June 1, a gathering was held to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the municipalization of Takasago City, Hyogo Prefecture. Dubbed the Gotoji Expo, it brought out those lovable civic-minded mascots called yuru-kyara.

And for such as auspicious anniversary the town called in a major mascot from each of the 47 prefectures of Japan such as the former Yurukyara Gran Prix winner Kumamon of Kumamoto Prefecture. An invitation was also sent out to Funasshi, the unofficial yet hugely popular mascot of Funabashi, but it had to decline because of scheduling issues.

So you can imagine the organizers’ surprise when the highly animated pear had actually turned up at Gotoji Expo?

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OC Desu: It’s what all the cool kids are typing nowadays

Did you have anything OC Desu (OCです) today?

If your answer is “Wha?” then you’re probably not hip to the new buzzword circling around social media in Japanese recently. Students of the language can probably figure it out by saying it out loud, and the image above gives us a pretty big hint too.
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New traditional rice topping selling well, but at 10,000 yen a pop it doesn’t take much

Toppings and seasonings have an often overlooked power to completely make or break the overall taste of a dish. And yet, many of them can be found at prices under 100 yen (US$1). Why is something so important to your meal’s flavor made and sold so cheaply?

Back in 2013 Kobayashi Shokuin, decided to buck that trend and came out with a luxury furikake (dried condiment) that sells for the premium price of two 30g (1oz) cans for 10,000 yen ($100). Much to their delight, the response has been great and people have been buying up this Kuchi Doke at an increasing rate despite its exorbitant price.

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Just in time for summer, Asahi to begin selling Mitsuya Cider served at a slushy -5℃

Hot on the heels of an announcement that cold and sugary foods are bad for your body, Asahi announced that they are releasing their coldest sugary drink to date. I’m willing to take the risk however, because summer in Japan can suck pretty hard and a sub-zero beverage would definitely hit the spot.

This new drink called “Mitsuya Freezing Cider,” turns to ice the moment you pop the cap. Sounds great but Asahi seems to have surprised netizens a little with their unique distribution plans.

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