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Mr. Sato takes a sperm test, passes with flying colors

Master Blaster
Dec 7, 2014
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Our ace reporter Mr. Sato is currently into his 40s and during a conversation with one of his peers the other day he learnt that men of that age run a certain risk of diminished sperm. For instance, the man he was talking to recently got tested only to find that his sperm count was dropping to what he called the “requiem” stage.

This prompted Mr. Sato to actually think about what was going on down there, so he decided to get checked himself to make sure he wasn’t in his reproductive autumn as well. Luckily, it was learned that not only is Mr. Sato healthy but there’s a party in his pants…and yes, we’re all invited!

Dog seems to appear from plank of wood in either coolest pet trick or silliest astral projection

Casey Baseel
Dec 7, 2014

I can’t help but laugh every time I hear a story about people finding an image of Jesus in some household setting. It’s not so much their spiritual fervor that gives me a chuckle, though, but the incongruent nature of the logic being shown. On one hand, he’s powerful enough to send messages to true believers from across the boundaries of our mortal realm, but on the other, he chooses to make his appearance in a piece of singed toast or an oil stain on someone’s driveway?

Call me cynical, but I’m not convinced the son of God rolls that way. That kid of haphazard choice of manifestation setting seems more like the work of a lower being, like maybe a dog who’s still getting the hang of how to project himself through the astral plane.

Speaking of which…

Police crack down on bar, adult establishment touts during year-end

Japan Today
Dec 7, 2014

Police in Tokyo have stepped up patrols in popular nightlife areas such as Shibuya, Shinjuku and Roppongi in an effort to reduce the presence of touts who stand outside shops or on corners and attempt to lure customers to their establishments with promises of cute waitresses, cheap drinks and other attractions.

Yamato undies remind you where you put your junk

Anime News Network
Dec 7, 2014

The Yamato Crew store is selling a specially designed pair of men’s boxer shorts. The one-size-fits-all underwear takes design cues from actual anime artwork.

Cute dog turns traditional fish pond into personal swimming pool【Photos】

Jessica
Dec 6, 2014

If you’ve ever been to Thailand, you know that it can get really hot. It’s enough to make anyone look longingly at the nearest fountain, pond or puddle. Well, add a fur coat to that equation and I get why this Thai dog decided he wasn’t going to let a few guppies get in the way of a quick, cooling dip!

You might never eat seafood again after you watch this horrifying lobster molting on land

Mike
Dec 6, 2014

When we posted a video of an enormous, pulsating, terrifying spider crab slowly escaping the confines of its old shell and setting off in search of new digs and (probably) human souls, we thought that was about the most horrifying the process of molting could really get.

Then we saw this video of a spiny lobster molting on land. We will never be the same.

Skinny Japanese man isn’t skinny enough, makes greatest face at realization!【Photos】

KK Miller
Dec 6, 2014

Japanese people have a stereotype for being incredibly tiny. Grown men and women can shop in the “junior” section, which is a handy way to save a bit of money, especially when buying some brand name items. But just because you “can” doesn’t mean you “should“. One Japanese “baller” finds out the hard way that some children-only items should really only be used by children. Unless you are looking for a new and permanent metal chastity belt.

Craving cheese? Try Burger King Japan’s hamburger cheese fondue!

Kay
Dec 6, 2014

In Japan, the New Years is traditionally a time for eating osechi cuisine, and while tastes and lifestyles may be changing, come New Years Day, many people will be eating at least some of these special new year foods. And once all the new years festivities have passed, it’s quite understandable if some of the Japanese public ends up yearning for something a bit more oily and rich. Well, Burger King Japan has just announced a new series of menus that just may fit the bill in such a situation. It’s Burger King Japan’s new “cheese fondue” menu, featuring items that allow you to create fondues out of … you guessed it, hamburgers!

Strange English signs in China and Japan really hate vegetables, sometimes threaten to kill you

Casey Baseel
Dec 6, 2014

We’ve talked before about some of the reasons why bizarre English signage pops up in Asia. One of the most common causes is a fundamental difference in the way sentences are structured between English and other languages. Automated translations programs, which aren’t nearly as well sorted out as many monolingual users believe, are also among the usual suspects.

That said, looking at a flawed translation is sort of like performing an autopsy, in that sometimes there’s a limit in what it can tell you. Just like the medical examiner might say, “Well, all the baby spiders hatching inside the subject’s eyeball definitely killed him, but I’ve got no idea how the eggs got in there,” there are times like these when we look at some garbled English, and, just like we can’t stifle our chuckles, we can’t imagine why the translation went flying off the rails, or if it was even on them to begin with.

Just in time for 2015! Hoverboard becomes reality, proves Back to the Future was legit

Evie Nyan
Dec 6, 2014

Remember that scene in the classic 80’s movie Back to the Future Part II, where Marty McFly escapes a group of bullies using a floating skateboard known as a hoverboard? If you do, you probably spent your childhood longing for one of those bad boys and wondering when technology would catch up to the 2015 depicted in the film. Well, it looks like we’ve managed to make it a reality, and just before the cut-off date, too! Join us after the jump for video evidence!

Pepsi reboots Japan’s Peach Boy with 3 action and monster-filled ads that’re 8 kinds of badass

Casey Baseel
Dec 6, 2014

The story of Momotaro is one of Japan’s oldest folktales, but a lot of its elements seem a little silly. For starters, the hero’s name translates as “Peach Boy.” His companions are a monkey, a dog, and a pheasant, who he wins over by giving them some sweet dumplings in exchange for their help against the story’s villains, who all have outie bellybuttons.

Goofy as these details may sound, though, the core of the tale is absolutely epic. A young hero who harnesses the power of wild beasts, then sails into the heart of demon territory to rumble with them on their island fortress? In a world where every literary and comic character is a candidate to become a darkly stylish action hero (heck, even Batman’s gritty reboot is getting its own gritty reboot), why hasn’t someone revamped Peach Boy into something closer to Peach Man?

Actually, someone already has, but you won’t find the new Momotaro in theatres, and while you might catch him flipping through the channels on TV, you can’t find his adventures scheduled in the program guide. That’s because this amazingly awesome version of Momortaro is actually a series of commercials from Pepsi.

Self-taught Singaporean artist creates unbelievably realistic art on plywood

Jessica
Dec 6, 2014

Look at the two Starbucks cups above. Can you tell which one is real and which one is a creation of colored pencils, pastels and ink? If not for a tiny bit hanging off the edge of the wood, we’d have been hard-pressed to choose.

This is the incredibly realistic work of Singaporean artist Ivan Hoo.

Curry and melon bread! Together…at last? Anyway, Yamazaki’s new curry melon bread is here

Casey Baseel
Dec 5, 2014

We’ve talked before about melon bread, one of Japan’s most tempting baked goods that doesn’t really taste anything like the fruit it takes half its name from. But as delicious as the sugar-dusted outer layer is, the inside isn’t anything more than plain old bread, which is why some bakeries add fillings like custard or even ice cream.

One bakery, though, has decided to spice things up literally by filling its melon bread with curry.

Japanese convenience store’s registers play Final Fantasy victory theme for special items 【Video】

Casey Baseel
Dec 5, 2014

Although video game developer Square Enix had dabbled in a few direct follow-ups here and there, whenever the counter for its Final Fantasy role-playing franchise rolls over to a new numbered sequel, the company completely ditches the old cast of heroes and villains, and even the previous game’s world.

But even if the narrative is starting from scratch each time, that doesn’t mean the games aren’t connected. For example, every Final Fantasy has scenes where the player rides on airships or horse-sized flightless birds called chocobos. The cursor is always a white glove with a pointing index finger, and major victories in battle are marked by the sounds of the series’ instantly recognizable “Victory Fanfare.”

Gamers have already heard the short but sweet melody played by the NES, Super NES, and PlayStations 1 through 3, and this month, they can look forward to hearing it someplace new: at the register of Lawson convenience stores when they purchase special items.

Flash mob at Manila airport brings holiday cheer to surprised passengers

Hayashi 'Fang' Hougi
Dec 5, 2014

It’s December. It’s that time of the year again. Shop windows are decorated with Christmas trees and signs inviting you to spend more money; Candy canes and Santa Clauses and reindeer seem to be popping up everywhere you go. At the airport in Manila, Philippines, the sultry weather doesn’t seem to have the same holiday magic other wintry places do. However, a flash mob brought the Christmas spirit back to surprised passengers at the terminal and warmed our hearts, too.

Japanese town axes milk from school lunches, debate likely to wage until cows come home

Casey Baseel
Dec 5, 2014

I’ve lost count of the number of Japanese people I’ve met who were disappointed to find out I don’t have what they consider quintessential American eating habits. The last time I had a steak was a year ago. I’m perfectly happy eating rice, and I love fish, since, you know, I grew up in California, which is a coastal state (same ocean as Japan has, too).

But there’s one stereotype I do conform with, and that’s how much I love milk, despite being a full-grown adult. Many Japanese people, on the other hand, associate the drink with their childhood, since it’s been served in elementary schools for decades.

One city in Niigata Prefecture, though, has decided it has no more tolerance for drinkable lactose, and starting this month, is removing milk from its school lunches.

Policewoman’s posterior produces poetic justice as she arrests man she says groped her on train

Casey Baseel
Dec 5, 2014

Police in Hyogo Prefecture are reporting the arrest of a man suspected of being a chikan, Japan’s embarrassing subclass of perverts that grope unsuspecting women on crowded trains. The suspect’s capture wasn’t the result of a sophisticated sting or surveillance operation, though. As a matter of fact, the arresting officer didn’t even have to chase the man down, as the police claim he was caught red, and butt, handed when he grabbed the behind of a fellow passenger who’s also a policewoman.

Artist whittles perfect animal replicas out of wood, makes own pets suspicious

Evie Nyan
Dec 5, 2014

Making replicas of your pets using a variety of mediums including their own fur seems to be a fad that’s captured the hearts of some of the more natty crafters out there. Now, we’d like to introduce you to woodworking artist and sculptor Mio Hashimoto, whose carvings are almost perfect replicas of various animals including her own pet kitty and doggy (although we think they’re starting to become a tad suspicious…)

Group of cats in China gathers for séance, summoning, or maybe just some sinister cake 【Video】

Casey Baseel
Dec 5, 2014

Some people say cats possess strong spiritual powers, but I’m not so sure. Yeah, they’ve been popular familiars for literary witches since as far back as anyone can remember, but I’m not really convinced that they can sense spirits where the rest of us can’t just because they have a tendency to be startled by, and throw jabs at, empty patches of air. Really, that’s only about as profound a connection to the supernatural plane as I have after half a bottle of bourbon.

But maybe cats do have access to dark magical powers. It would certainly explain the eerie calm they display in this video showing a group of them huddled around a table as part of what looks like a cultish ritual.

Congratulations Nippon! Japan takes on the title of “Top Country Brand”

Audrey Akcasu
Dec 5, 2014

Every year a brand consultant agency called FutureBrand comes out with a report of the Country Brand Index (CBI). The “country brand” (think “Made in Japan”), is measured similarly to consumer or corporate brands (Nike, Toshiba, etc).

The index is a measure of the global perception of each country’s “brand,” not just for the quality and popularity of their export products and big name businesses, but also taking into account social aspects of the country. Having spent the last few years cozily in the top ten, Japan took the number one position in the 2014-2015 CBI report.