Go Hatori (Page 7)
Our in-house 100 yen store guru snaps up a deal that eliminates the need to keep his belt buckled, and keeps his finances as secure as his pants.
Remember the time we hired a lookalike and reenacted a classic Jackie Chan fight? Of course we do, we still have the video evidence!
So everyone knows you can lock/unlock your iPhone using your thumbprint. Sure, that’s great and all, but what if you want to be even more secure? After all, what’s stopping phone thieves from stealing your fingerprints and snooping through all of your secret selfies?
Have no fear, RocketNews24’s Japanese-language writers have the perfect solution: getting your iPhone to recognize your butthole. A member of the same incredibly mature team that researched how to flavor food with burps now brings you the latest in iPhone security and will show you how to make your own iPhone something that no one could ever, or would ever want to, break into.
It probably goes without saying, but this technique is a little NSFW, so be sure no judging eyes are around before you read on.
For conspiracy theorists, Area 51 is a location of high intrigue. Often called the most secret place on earth (well…the United States, anyway), this government base in Nevada is thought to be used for weapons testing and experimental aircraft – although very little is known about what really goes on there. Some of the more out-there theories include meetings with aliens, development of weather control, and even time travel.
Our Japanese reporter Go Hatori is a seasoned traveller and, when he’s not trolling would-be scammers online for his own amusement, loves nothing more than to take a solo trip somewhere mysterious. So Go headed into the Nevada desert – with a secret mission of his own!