Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 143)

Cute 13yo Thai-German talent speaks five languages and sings with the best of them

Master Blaster
Feb 19, 2014
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Meet Jannine Parawie Weigel. Like any 13-year-old girl, she enjoys lemonade, pizza, the color pink, and Hunger Games (the movie not, you know, actual hunger games). She also speaks five languages, plans to get a bachelor’s degree by the time she’s 16 and was already signed to GMM Grammy, Thailand’s largest media company.

And if you don’t feel like you’re underachieving enough yet, she also has the face and voice of an angel, and by all accounts seems like a genuinely well-mannered young woman. Now before you pick up that revolver, enjoy the song-stylings of this up-and-coming Thai-German wunderkind.

Shibuya’s Hachiko statue gets a snow family for a short time

Master Blaster
Feb 18, 2014

The tragic yet sweet story of faithful dog Hachiko is infamous in Japan and many parts of the world. One dog’s unflinching love and dedication inspired a statue to be erected in his honor outside Shibuya Station where the real Hachiko once stood.

With a second helping of snow dumped over Tokyo in the late hours of Fundoshi Day, someone took it upon themselves to offer Hachiko with a companion.

Master Blaster
Feb 18, 2014

It’s a Monday and you might find yourself struggling to get back into work mode from the weekend. Sitting in your workspace you feel the urge to stretch your mouth into a satisfying yawn.

If you happen to be a tall thin man in young adulthood, STOP! That innocent little stretch might turn into something much more painful and kind of gross. Such and incident happened to a 26-year-old Chinese man last month.

Master Blaster
Feb 17, 2014

On 14 February at Toba Aquarium, the giant isopod that captured the imaginations of a nation was found dead in its tank by keepers and media. This brings to an end the record-setting hunger strike No.1 had been waging since 2009.

Master Blaster
Feb 15, 2014

There has been a lot of news over the record snowfalls in many parts of Japan. However, from people all along the Northwestern coast and in Hokkaido a collective “What about us?” could be heard.

As a reminder, one Hokkaido resident tweeted out this photo of their local Lawson. We’re sure of that because the sign is the only visible part on the store. It looks as if it worked too as the photo is currently doing the rounds on the internet and getting retweeted over 16,000 times.

Happy Fundoshi Day! May your whities be tightie in all the right places!

Master Blaster
Feb 15, 2014

On this day last year, we announced that 14 February was from then to be known as Fundoshi Day. With that grand statement made we waited a whole year for all you readers to go out and by some fundoshi, old-fashioned loincloths to help us again put the “fun” in Fundoshi Day (fun-do-shi = 2-10-4 in Japanese) this year.

And let me guess, you aren’t wearing your fundoshi, are you? Sigh… Alright, we’re patient people, so let us explain again why the fundoshi is the superior choice in underwear.

This Valentine’s Day make the planets align with a set of celestial chocolates

Master Blaster
Feb 14, 2014

If there’s one thing guys like more than chocolate, its gimmicks! If you happen to be doing some last minute shopping for Valentine’s Day your favorite beau probably wouldn’t sneeze at a standard box of chocolate, but if possible why not think a little outside the box? Better yet, why not think outside of the solar system: Planet Chocolates?

Japanese woman celebrates 100th birthday, boggles netizens’ minds with unusual name

Master Blaster
Feb 13, 2014

Turning 100 years old is indeed a great achievement. Not only can we appreciate and look up to those who seem to follow the correct path to a ripe old age, but it’s always a shining example of how far we have come as a people to extend our lives so much over the years.

And so, it’s with great honor and reverence that we here at RocketNews24 would like to wish a happy belated birthday to Ms… erm… Mxy…zptlk Sugahara!

Apparently we weren’t alone in not being able to read this woman’s name. Netizens came out in droves shrugging their shoulders and figuring a cockroach got into the printing press. A chosen few however, scolded their peers for not being cultured enough to decipher it.

Japanese amateur wrestling champion finds fame online for his taste in nerdy hobbies

Master Blaster
Feb 12, 2014

The man pictured above is Tomoyuki Oka basking in the glow of winning the All-Japan Sambo Championships. Having excelled in the Russian grappling sport, he exhibits all the features of supreme manliness: a square hair-lined jaw, steely and dominant glare, burly muscles that dwarf his first place trophy (the Putin Cup), and a half-hearted effort at those “V” fingers that Japanese people usually pose with in pictures.

But wait a minute… What’s that under his sambovka?

Man in India viewed as a god for his really long butt hair

Master Blaster
Feb 11, 2014

They say America is the land of opportunity, but India seems well on its way to taking that crown. Where else can a man acquire a group of followers for having a 37cm (14.5 inch) tail of hair growing just above his butt crack?

Master Blaster
Feb 11, 2014

As any student of Japanese will tell you, its use of Chinese characters known as kanji can be a nightmare at times. And although they can be really useful at deducing the meaning of complex words, they give little in the way of clues as to how one should pronounce them.

Take the kanji for Japan (日本) for example. Even a first grader can tell you what it means, but ask a group of adults how to pronounce it and you might get a mixture of “Nihon” or “Nippon” and maybe even an occasional “Yamato” if one of those people happens to be a smart-ass.

JR East putting on love-handles for Valentine’s Day

Master Blaster
Feb 10, 2014

Imagine getting on a train after slogging through the slush-filled streets of Tokyo under a grey cloud-filled sky. With the usual packed row of seats, you’re forced to stand while you manipulate your Twitter feed with only one hand.

Then you begin to notice and odd sensation in the hand you’re using to keep your footing as the train jerks and rattles along. The strap you had unwittingly chosen feels a little different to normal. Looking up, you discover that it is in fact in the shape of a heart, and next to it is another heart-shaped hand strap being held into by another. Then your two eyes meet and you’re both struck by what Michael Corleone referred to as a “lightning bolt.”

This is exactly the kind of scene Japan Rail East hoped will play out in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day when they installed a single pair of heart-shaped hand straps on trains running along the Keiyo Line.

Master Blaster
Feb 10, 2014

On 8 February, the skies over Tokyo and much of the Kanto region darkened. Ominous clouds suddenly began to steadily sprinkle the urban center with fluffy flakes of snow. However, in an area not used to such weather conditions, chaos ensued. Residents urged loved ones to stay indoors if possible while others flocked to supermarkets to load up on supplies. Our own Kuzo – who’s no stranger to reporting from dangerous environments such as North Korea and the spa-resort town of Évian-les-Bains, France – took to the streets of Tokyo to see how everyone was coping with the nearly three inches of snow that had strickened them.

All the awesome cuteness of a cat’s paw harnessed in one pastry, on sale now in Osaka

Master Blaster
Feb 10, 2014

From now until 31 March you can get your hands on a Kuro Neko No Te (Black Cat Paw) pastry at a bakery in the Hotel New Hankyu Osaka. This is the second installation of the Neko No Te (Cat Paw) series of delectable pastries that started last year to celebrate the hotel’s 50th anniversary.

New arcade game lets you get face-to-face with AKB48 members… and shoot them in the face

Master Blaster
Feb 9, 2014

Starting this April in arcades everywhere, darlings of the idol scene, AKB48 will be making their debut in an arcade game. Unfortunately for fans they are also zombified and require you to take aim and unload on them with your handgun.

It’s called Sailor Zombie AKB48 Edition, and as the name suggests it features members of the pop squad dressed up in adorable sailor outfits. Also as the name implies, the cuties are reanimated corpses who desire to eat your brains.

KFC Fish back for a second helping, will it stick around this time?

Master Blaster
Feb 8, 2014

Last autumn Japan was treated to a new way to enjoy KFC: Kentucky Fried Fish. At that time our reporter Kuzo was lucky enough to sample a few sticks before the entire nation converged on the fast food chain and devoured the crispy battered fish sticks faster than KFC could supply them.

As a result the KFF campaign came to an abrupt halt in under two weeks time due to lack of ingredients. However, from 6 February, KFC Japan says they have reworked their logistics and are reviving Kentucky Fried Fish! This time we sent in Megu to check it out.

White Cola is back! And it brought penguins for the Sochi Olympics

Master Blaster
Feb 7, 2014

For decades Japan has had fleeting affairs with concoctions known as “White Cola” which is meant to be a twist on the age old formula that brings us the brown colas we all know and love. Now, it’s back again to celebrate the Sochi Olympics. From 4 February you can purchase a bottle of Pokka Sapporo White Cola for 147 yen (US$1.45).

We try Häagen-Dazs Rose and Sakura: It’s like there’s a toilet in my mouth and everyone’s invited

Master Blaster
Feb 7, 2014

On 3 February, Häagen-Dazs Japan released two new flavors to celebrate their 30th anniversary: Rose and Sakura (cherry blossom). Although they were unusual flavors in the realm of ice cream, in the more than capable hands of Häagen-Dazs they’re sure to be great… right?

Master Blaster
Feb 6, 2014

As we learned a few days ago, 3 February is the traditional holiday of Setsubun in Japan. Although its customs vary from region to region, most people who celebrate the occasion enjoy the practice of throwing beans to expel evil from their homes. The Shibamata Taishakuten temple in Katsuhika, Tokyo must have had some industrial strength evil in their area this year because they brought in OCP’s future of oni-fighting, Robocop, to toss some beans.

Students go nearly a year without textbooks after teacher forgets to hand them out

Master Blaster
Feb 5, 2014

It would seem a small case of absentmindedness has been breaking out in educational institutes around Japan recently. One such case in Japan’s Kumamoto Prefecture saw a handful of students go nearly an entire year without ever receiving some of their “required reading material.”

However, in this and another similar case, it’s hard to say who’s at fault, the teachers who failed to give the proper references out, or the students who neglected to say anything about it.