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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 142)

ISIS strikes at the heart of Japan…by hacking F-League futsal club’s webpage

On the morning of Sunday, 8 March terror struck the Japanese futsal world as a banner appeared of Tokyo-based futsal club Fuchu Athletic FC for approximately three hours. Apparently bearing the flag of radical Islamic group ISIS it read: “Hacked by Islamic State (ISIS) We Are Everywhere :)”

More interesting than their suspicious use of a smiley (possibly “winky” as well) emoticon, was the surprising knowledge the organization seemingly had regarding Japanese five-on-five indoor soccer. Their attack came just as the top futsal teams in Japan were gearing up for the Puma Cup finals.

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McDonald’s Japan to release “complaint app” to help restore faith in the company

The once mighty fast food chain McDonald’s has fallen on hard times in Japan lately, suffering a heavy blow when it become entangled in an expired meat scandal about a year ago.

Although other establishments were also implicated in the problem, the public in Japan seems to be holding an especially big grudge against the golden arches. On 9 March, the company announced that Japanese sales were down 28.7 percent from the same month in the previous year.

In response, McDonald’s Japan is looking to improve its customer service and restore public faith in the company. How? By releasing a new app for smartphones that will allow customers to lodge complaints with more convenience and speed than ever before!

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Toyama man awarded US$160,000 after being imprisoned for three years on false rape charges

Imagine you’re relaxing at home one day when there’s a sudden knock at the door. Before you know it you’re sitting in a police interrogation room with people trying to get a confession out of you for a crime you know nothing about. Soon after, you are sentenced to prison for three years for a crime you never committed, only to be released and regarded by society as a convicted sex offender for the rest of your days.

That nightmare scenario played out for Hiroshi Yanagihara, a man who, well after serving his full prison sentence, was found innocent of all charges. Following that, an understandably upset Yanagihara went after the people who initially arrested and convicted him, demanding compensation and criminal charges.

As a result, on 9 March Toyama District Court awarded Hiroshi Yanagihara 19.7 million yen (US$161,000) – apparently the value of five years of his life.

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Yamagata blood donor out for blood, headbutts Red Cross staff after “waiting forever” in line

They say there is no greater joy than to give to those in need, especially when it’s the gift of life through a simple blood donation. It’s also been said that there’s a certain satisfaction to be had when smashing your forehead into the face of a rival. If these two maxims are true then one man in Yamagata Prefecture must have been over the moon recently.

Temperatures rose and blood began to boil as violence broke out at a bloodmobile on March 5 after a would-be donor assaulted one of the blood drive’s staff. The 52-year-old unemployed suspect Hisashi Sudo allegedly grabbed the also 52-year-old Japan Red Cross worker by his collar and head butted him in the face.

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Kiss-signed Japanese calligraphy works on sale, get the paperwork for a second mortgage ready

As you may have noticed, KISS have recently made their way back to Japan and it’s always a treat when they do. This year we’ve already seen them make a well-received cross-genre music video with Momoiro Clover Z and release a line of skin smoothing facepacks with the Japanese cosmetic brand Isshin.

If those weren’t surprising enough, now KISS has collaborated with shodo calligrapher Ryugen Sobukawa for a limited collection of KISS-themed works each autographed by a member of the band.

Oh, and they cost a small fortune…

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Visiting Osaka’s Umeda Sky Building, one of the “Top 20 Buildings in the world”

Built in 1994 and standing just a few hundred meters from Osaka Station, the Umeda Sky Building drew large crowds when it first opened, thanks to its unique design of two high-rise buildings connected at the top by the Floating Garden Observatory.

Once pulling in around a million visitors each year, in the days since attendance had dropped to about half that as the building’s novelty wore off and people became used to its towering presence. Having lived nearby for around a decade myself, I have to admit that I’d never been to see it. It looked nice and all but there didn’t seem to be much of a draw.

But it appears I was wrong. In 2014, attendance to the Umeda Sky Building has shot back up to about 975,000, and there are hopes that it will hit the million once mark again this year. Interested to see what this new fervor is all about, I hopped on a train to have a look around this possibly under-appreciated landmark.

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Mr. Sato visits the Retro Space Saka Hall, full of syringes, Mediocrity, and bittersweet memories

While visiting the city of Sapporo, our adventurous reporter Mr. Sato stumbled upon this bizarre looking complex called the Retro Space Saka Hall. The whole place looked incredibly sketchy, but that was right up his alley.

Little did he know, however, that this dingy-looking industrial complex nestled in snow would almost move him to tears.

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How to take a photo looking like someone important, it’s all in the “mokkore”

In these days of social networks many of us have come up on the problem of which profile picture to use. Scrolling through all the photos you’ve reluctantly let people take of you, it’s hard to find one that relates your true inner beauty. It would be nice if we all had one of those mid-interview shots where people look really interesting.

Sadly though, chances are you haven’t been professionally interviewed and so don’t have one. Don’t worry though, because our crack team of photogenic writers and editors has found a way to easily simulate a photograph that can make anyone look like a truly interesting person. All you need is the magic word: Mokkore! Let’s try.

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Tekken 7 intro movie released

Ohhh I can feel it. It’s that time again: time to piss experienced players of the Tekken franchise off by mashing buttons wildly and winning! This will be the seventh time I have done it, and I’ve become exceedingly efficient at it.

That’s right Tekken 7 is about to hit game centers across Japan and to get people into the fighting spirit Bandai Namco Games has uploaded the game’s opening movie to YouTube. Let’s watch!

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Our writers trade kamehamehas at Dragon Ball event in Tokyo, Sato goes Super Saiyan!

Previously on RocketNewsZ, tensions flared between our reporters Yuichiro Wasai and Mr. Sato after Wasai used Mr. Sato’s mankini and returned it without washing. The two were just beginning to levitate off the ground and fight when the chief editor told them to take it outside so as not to damage the office’s complete collection of sushi cat figurines.

Knowing who pays the bills around here, both complied and went down to Shibuya Parco in Tokyo where an event was being held inviting fighters such as these two to compete by hurling kamehameha energy blasts at each other. Will these two settle their differences before it’s too late? We’ll soon find out after they manage to flag down a cab.

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Like Japan’s plum blossoms, pickled plum and cheese tortilla chips are tragically fleeting

Japanese cuisine is often known for its subtle tastes which some might criticize as being downright “bland.” But there are some exceptions, one of which is umeboshi. This is a dried and pickled ume fruit which is a cross between a plum and an apricot. Umeboshi are very popular in Japan and have a sour and salty taste that will slap you in the face harder than a scorned lover.

By now you’re probably be thinking, “That vinegary plum sounds great! But what it really needs is some cheese mixed in.” Well, you’re in luck! Frito Lay Japan is way ahead of you and just released Ume & Cheese flavored tortilla chips. We sat down with a bag to see how this combination plays out in chip form.

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Kirin to release line of 1% drinks, we’re not entirely sure why either

After conducting a survey of people’s drinking habits, beverage-maker Kirin discovered that Japanese people in their 20s just weren’t drinking as much as their elders. While for many this would be an optimistic sign that the younger generation is becoming a group of sober and hardworking members of society, for those in the alcohol business it’s a sucker punch to the bottom line.

So, in an effort to keep younger drinkers off the wagon, Kirin is meeting them 99 percent of the way by offering a line of drinks aptly named “Butterfly” which contain only one percent of alcohol by volume.

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Around Japan in 47 rice balls: Mr. Sato buys each prefecture’s musubi all from one Tokyo shop

Although Japan lacks ethnic diversity, it seems to more than make up for it in diversity of cuisine. Although the overarching recipes of Japanese foods can be found everywhere, you’d be surprised and how diverse the differences can be from region to region. Having your New Year’s soup in Okayama Prefecture may be quite different from Akita Prefecture’s offering. Even purchasing oden from a chain like 7-Eleven will produce different results if it’s from Osaka or Tokyo.

This is also true of another of Japan’s standard foods: rice balls also known as onigiri or musubi. To taste all the unique variations Japan has to offer, one must be a seasoned traveler, or they could just go to Momochi, a shop which offers a taste of all 47 prefectures straight from the counter. Our own Mr. Sato, eager to taste of these deliciously distinct snacks, visited Momochi to sample one of each.

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Japanese wasp-filled crackers: Their sting is far worse than a bite

Although the above picture might look like something out of a nightmare, these crackers are very real and on sale in Nagano Prefecture, Japan.

It’s a senbei, which is a Japanese style of rice cracker, that in this instance, has had a bunch of wasps added to it for flavor or…health or something. We don’t know why exactly but we recently had the pleasure of sitting down with a bag of wasp crackers, only to find that they actually weren’t nearly as horrifying as you might expect.

They were only partially horrifying.

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After the tears have dried, where is shamed politician Ryutaro Nonomura now?

You may not remember the name Ryutaro Nonomura but you’ll almost definitely recall the press conference he gave last July, which was later dubbed the “crying conference” here in Japan. The incident, which saw the then provincial politician weeping, cupping his ear cartoonishly, and wailing like a man possessed as he attempted to explain what he’d done with a significant amount of government funds turned him into a pop-culture icon, porn parody and all, and ensured that he would go down as one of the most famous figures of 2014, for all the wrong reasons.

So now about half a year later, what has become of the disgraced assemblyman?

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ChocolaTexture offers nine flavors of chocolate… without changing the flavor at all

When it comes to food, I’ve always placed a higher emphasis on texture rather than the actual taste of it. While I love peanut butter or finely chopped almonds, for example, the nuts themselves in their natural form usually make me gag.

So it was with great excitement that I learned about ChocolaTexture, which is a range of nine chocolates all using the exact same recipe but crafted in different shapes and textures. As a result each chocolate is said to have a distinct “taste” despite being made from the exact same ingredients.

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We try beer with whipped cream on top…because we’re fancy

It’s been said that younger generations of drinkers in Japan just aren’t that into beer anymore. With them opting instead for cheaper and sweeter cocktails, good old ale (or ale-flavored stuff) is gradually being pushed aside.

However, our intrepid reporter Meg has found a way to reinvent beer to younger folks appealing to their sweet-tooths. It comes from South Korea where it’s called “Saengkeulim Maegju” or “Cream Beer” and is basically beer with some whipped cream on top. It’s so easy you can make it at home…so we did!

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Cost Performance Specialist Sato shows us how to get high fashion at low, low prices

Like much of the world, Japan is home to dozens of fashion brands like Uniqlo, GAP, and H&M, which offer high-quality clothes at low prices. It has come to the point that some refer to Uniqlo items as the “nation’s uniform” because of their ubiquity.

With all these big-name retailers saturating the market with their similar brands, how is a true individual supposed to express themselves? Of course there are one-of-a-kind boutiques, but those are way out of the average guy’s price range.

This is where our resident money expert Mr. Sato comes in. He’s known as “Cost Performer Sato,” or as he prefers “Cospa Sato,” because it’s a far more efficient name. He’s here to teach us about a secret shop which can be found in any one of your neighbourhoods and offers unique fashions at highly affordable prices, and look fabulous while doing so.

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Struggling with Japanese? Let Tako lend you a hand…or five

Yes, I know octopi have eight tentacles not six, but Tako of Takos Japanese has five. It’s the same cartoon logic that makes the Simpson family all have eight fingers. And yes, I know the name should probably read “Tako’s Japanese.” Really though, let’s not get bogged down in talk of appendages and apostrophes right now.

Today we’re here to look at a new Japanese study app released by Spain-based Giant Soul Interactive. A lot of Japanese study apps found online are either fun but limited in content or deep but boring and stodgy. Learn Japanese with Tako (recently changed from “Takos Japanese”) aims to strike a happy balance of a fun way to learn the language that’s also rich in content. Let’s find out if they succeed.

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Recently a Japanese TV program highlighted an interesting bit of historical trivia: The most common type of revenge killing in the Edo period was between gay lovers. It’s a statistic that shocked many viewers in modern Japan, but there is ample evidence to support that a whole lot of gay sex was going on in the country from between 1400 and 1900.

It was at first a playful fancy of the ruling classes but then grew into a cold yet efficiently run military system of battlefield man-pleasuring. However, as we can see from the previously mentioned little factoid, once guys start letting emotions get involved, the whole thing starts to fall apart.

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