Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 144)

Zuuushiiihokkiii is coming! And his copyrights are as loose as his retinae

Master Blaster
Jan 23, 2014
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Last November, residents of Hokuto City in Hokkaido elected Zuuushiiihokkiii, the somewhat malformed anthropomorphic piece of surf clam sushi. His limited motor skills and cries of “Hokihokihokihokiii!” seemed to have plucked a particular heart-string among the locals.

Even beyond the northern city, this ball of rice and clam is shaping up to be Japan’s breakout yurukyara (regional mascot) of 2014. While development on the official Zuuushiiihokkiii costume is still underway, some exciting news has emerged from the new mascot’s PR team.

Master Blaster
Jan 23, 2014

On 18 January, a shipment of crabs from Russia arrived at a port in Japan, some of which were bought up by wholesaler Marusan Mikami Shoten. After opening up their haul of red king crabs (an expensive favorite of Japanese seafood lovers) workers were surprised to see one of the large arthropods was shaded a rich lavender color all over.

Master Blaster
Jan 23, 2014

Perusing Japanese Twitter feeds, you’re likely to come across the word “nau” at the end of a sentence. This word has the same meaning as the phonetically similar “now” in English. It’s used to simply state what the tweeter is doing at that given moment. Examples include “Unko Nau” (pooping now) or “Jishin Jiko Nau” (physical injury now).

Even Nippon Professional Baseball star Masahiro Tanaka, fresh off his perfect season got in on the action and tweeted out what he was doing nau. However, when you’re a pro-pitcher rumored to be imminently signed to a Major League Baseball team, an innocent little tweet can create unusually big ripples.

How tired of allergies are you? Thanko hopes enough to wear this giant USB-powered mask

Master Blaster
Jan 22, 2014

We’ve covered many products developed by Thanko – that company always seems to have clever ideas and is never afraid to flirt with madness – in the past. Their upside-down desk, and upside-down cushion both look very tempting, whereas their more ambitious products such as camera glasses and the Fanbrella seem inherently flawed with poor battery performance.

Whether Thanko’s newest release, the USB Pollen Blocker crosses the crazy train tracks remains to be seen.

Master Blaster
Jan 22, 2014

It’s a little known yet unsurprising fact that Mr. Sato loves a nice bowl of potato chips. However, much to the chagrin of his colleagues, he loves them so much that he begins to flail his limbs around wildly when he gets some.

After brushing the crumbs off the keyboards and shopping around online, the rest of the RocketNews24 staff found Gyro Bowl. For only 2,480 yen (US$24) this German-engineered bowl boasts a full 360° of spill prevention. All that combined with Mr. Sato’s inherent love of orange spinny stuff made this purchase a no-brainer. When the bowl arrived it was time to fire up the cameras and see how Gyro Bowl held up to Mr. Sato’s chip dance of joy.

Master Blaster
Jan 22, 2014

Japan has fared pretty well in the realm of professional sports these days with more and more Nippon Professional Baseball players popping up in the Major League and the recent rise in men’s and women’s soccer.

Even on the streets young Japanese people are pushing their bodies to the limit and creating awe inspiring athletic dance routines and working their way onto the world stage. The following are four such people, Taisuke Nonaka (B-boying), Yohei Uchino (flatland BMX), Kotaru Tokuda (freestyle football), and ZiNEZ (freestyle basketball).

Japanese university seating plan meme submitted to web for approval

Master Blaster
Jan 21, 2014

The internet is a vast ocean of small infographics, flow charts, and images with the aim to succinctly present the truths of life to the masses. However, not every clever doodle is worth being held in our hard drives to be pulled out during a relevant discussion later on. These images sink into the deep abyss of the internet ocean, only to be found when James Cameron finally gets a good enough sub.

Let’s watch as one humble netizen submits their typical Japanese university seating arrangement to others. Will the chart hit home with other students, or will it fall flat? First let’s look at an English translation of it.

Master Blaster
Jan 21, 2014

Although, Japan is still something of a smoker’s paradise compared to other developed countries, there are signs that times are a’changing with an increase in prices and no-smoking areas sprouting up across the land.

Anti-smoking groups often use dramatic stories and images to try and frighten or disgust people out of smoking tobacco. However, one simple poster hanging in a smoking section in Shinjo City, Yamagata Prefecture sends a chilling message of love to all their nicotine addicts.

Master Blaster
Jan 19, 2014

What could be cuter than a fluffy, rolly-polly panda? A panda full of gooey strawberry-milk flavored cream of course. That’s just what Ginza Cozy Corner is cooking up at their L’Ueno shop this month.

We play Russian roulette with new spicy “Tyrant Habanero” snacks

Master Blaster
Jan 18, 2014

Russian roulette is the ultimate in high-stakes games of chance. A revolver with five empty chambers and one loaded, there is no more intense or insane way to spend a Saturday night. However, since none of our minds were warped from being a POW in the Vietnam War we haven’t had the pleasure of partaking in such a game.

But now, we might enjoy the culinary version with Tohato’s Russian Tyrant Habanero snack cups. The premise is that one out of every six corn chips in the cup is seasoned with enough habanero spice to take your face off. In the interests of science and comedy, we wrangled our weakest-tongued reporter to try some out and see if it truly is the rush its makers describe.

Master Blaster
Jan 17, 2014

Hayao Miyazaki has created some of anime’s more memorable characters, winning legions of fans all around the world. As such you would imagine that along with the thousands of pieces of fan art, an aspiring sculptor somewhere would pick up the gauntlet and recreate some of them in three dimensions.

One sculptor answered that call, and set out to make the ultimate Ghibli character from clay: Mr. Miyazaki himself… We hear his friends say he’s “a real character.”

Master Blaster
Jan 17, 2014

Chanko stew is a very heavy dish that most people associate with sumo wrestlers. The high protein and high caloric content of these pots are perfect for putting on the bulk or just to warm your bones on a cold winter’s day. Chanko is also known to be rather pricey due to the bounty of ingredients used. That’s why most people would probably steer clear of Chankoya Suzukichan and its reputation as “a restaurant frequented by celebrities” for fear of breaking the bank.

But now, thanks to (oddly enough) the convenience store Family Mart’s online shopping site, we could get a taste of the high-life delivered straight to our door. So we did.

Connect to sushi-poo Wi-Fi using smartphone or tablet devices

Master Blaster
Jan 17, 2014

Looking for a way to give those in your immediate area looking for Wi-Fi a delicious treat? No? Well, me neither. But I do enjoy some pointless yet fun tricks to do with devices like Apple’s iPhone or iPad. Take, for example, this incredibly easy way to make your device show up on others as pieces of sushi and poo – or more!

Man arrested for fraud in potentially the stupidest way possible

Master Blaster
Jan 16, 2014

For years now, Japan has been beset by cases of ore ore sagi (“hey-it’s-me” scam). This is where the scammer contacts a (usually elderly) person claiming to be or know their child or relative. They then explain that they need money for an emergency and provide an account for the victim to transfer their money to, which sadly they often do.

These perpetrators can be difficult to catch, but sometimes a person’s force of habit can help make the police’s job that much easier. Take the case of one suspect named Akio Kanazawa, for example.

This week in convenience store bento: Our top 5 new releases

Master Blaster
Jan 15, 2014

Tuesday is known as New Bento Day at major convenience stores across Japan. As we’ve highlighted before, convenience stores in the country put a lot of effort into their ready-to-eat creations. What’s more is they cycle through new flavors on a weekly basis. This can be a double-edged sword as your favorite dish can disappear tragically fast, but you can also count on something equally good coming along as well.

As regular consumers of convenience store bento, the editorial department of RocketNews24 Japan has come together and ranked the top 5 new additions to 7-Eleven, Lawson, and Family Mart for the week of 14 January, 2014. Please refer to it for your own convenient dining pleasure.

Master Blaster
Jan 15, 2014

We here at RocketNews24 occasionally get hit with accusations of having an anti-China or anti-Korea slant. And while we don’t think a story about a young Chinese man getting a seatless bicycle wedged in his butt is inherently anti-Chinese, we can see how it might be interpreted that way. We can also see how we get labeled as anti-other-Asian-countries since we largely get our information from Japanese sources, and it would be naive to say there aren’t anti-Chinese and anti-Korean forces at play within the Japanese media. You couldn’t hope for a better example than the following story that was said to have been posted by a Chinese person on a message board. The anecdote has a lot to say about how Chinese children are raised to view Japan. However, the reaction to the story itself is more revealing about what it’s like on the other side.

Love hotels offer free post-coital kimono dressing service for guests on Coming of Age Day

Master Blaster
Jan 14, 2014

As we saw earlier today, some girls in Japan celebrate turning the big two-oh with some rather elaborate outfits. However, most young women on Coming-of-Age Day in Japan opt for a more traditional-looking kimono.

Another aspect of Coming-of-Age Day is the ceremony held in each region of the land. In each of them, large numbers of young men and women gather to celebrate, during which time it’s only natural for at least some of them to hook up, which is perhaps why the love hotel industry sees an annual spike on this particular holiday.

If you put these two things together, though, you have a big problem.

Master Blaster
Jan 14, 2014

As mentioned many times before on this site, the modern Japanese language uses a set of characters to represent foreign words called katakana. Such characters are used for foreign place names such a Beverly Hills (ビバリーヒルズ) or people like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (マフムード・アフマディーネジャード).

However, this feature of Japanese has been criticized by some for allowing the purity of the language to be polluted by foreign influences. It can also cause confusion by creating English words that have different meanings than the original.

That being said, for foreigners visiting Japan with a limited knowledge of the language this list may prove invaluable. Excluding the obvious classics like “OK” (オケ) and “McDonald’s” (マクドナルド) here are some relatively newer loan words ranked by understandability in Japanese.

Young woman celebrates adulthood with dizzying Hello Kitty/My Melody nails

Master Blaster
Jan 14, 2014

This 13 January marked yet another Coming-of-Age Day in Japan. Every year on the second Monday of January, young adults who have turned 20 in the previous year congregate in city halls and community centers across the land.

These ceremonies honor the passage into adulthood and for such a once in a lifetime event, it’s not uncommon to see young women dress to the nines with an elegant kimono and elaborate hairstyle. Nails are an important feature too, but one young woman decided to accompany the event with some once-in-a-lifetime nails. In fact the image above is only about 45% of them.

Get ready to see the full picture, but beware! It’s kind of like staring into an Escher painting.

Give your loved ones stag beetle larvae and more this Valentine’s

Master Blaster
Jan 12, 2014

On 10 January, confectionery dealer Komatsuya in Akita Prefecture is taking reservations for their annual Valentine’s Stag Beetle Larva Chocolates. As a perennially popular gift of the season for their highly detailed resemblance to actual immature insects, you can bet they’re going to sell fast. But fear not! There’s a whole line-up of insect related good to let that special someone know how you really feel.