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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 191)

Meet Family Mart’s Newest Employee, Hatsune Miku

A while back we reported on Hatsune Miku’s hijacking of four Family Mart convenience stores.  This time, however, Family Mart has turned the tables by hijacking Hatsune Miku herself and hiring her as a store clerk.

The news comes during a display at Wonder Festival (Wonfes) Summer 2012 by figurine makers Good Smile Company.  In the display figures of Miku sporting a Family Mart Uniform (with a few cute alterations) could be seen.  These will be part of an upcoming promotional event between the popular Vocaloid and convenience store chain.

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Students cheating on tests is as natural and inevitable as the sunrise, and with the aid of technology like smartphones there are even more ingenious ways to get around failing.  It’s a global problem with no solution in sight.

However, it looks like one innovative teacher has found a simple, cheap, and seemingly foolproof way to curtail their students from cheating.  This is based on a photo that is making the rounds via Twitter recently.

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We Test Drive the World’s First Augmented Reality Car Navigation System “Cyber-Navi,” It’s as Good as We Hoped

In May 2012, Pioneer announced the newest model of Carrozzeria Cyber-Navi.  This breakthrough device, which is set to hit stores soon, has been getting a lot of buzz for moving car navigation from the dashboard to about 3 meters in front of your car.

I (Mr. Sato) was able to get an sneak peak test drive in a car equipped with a Cyber-Navi, and it was a surprisingly comfortable ride with clear visibility.

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Land Yourself an Educated Partner with “The Smell of a Freshly Printed Book”

A new perfume has been created inspired by this quote of Karl Lagerfeld, a heavy hitter in the fashion world working with the likes of Chanel and Fendi among others.

“The smell of a freshly printed book is the best smell in the world.”

Well, hmmm, I never really thought about it before, but I can distinctly recall the smell of a fresh book after reading his words – so he could be onto something.  But does it really make you smell like a book?  And would people actually go for it?

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Snow Cone Inspired Pasta May Deliver Us From the Heat, The Best Part Comes After You Finish!

This summer isn’t even half way through, but everyone in Japan can firmly agree that it sucks – hard.  For the past two weeks the temperature has hovered around 35℃ in many parts of the country with a hardly a cloud to weaken the scorching sun.

Walking around in the streets, heat exhaustion has me pining for winter like it was a long lost lover whom I’m willing to forgive for cheating on me with 10 dudes as long as she comes back for one precious moment to ease my soul.

Just then some news hit me like a bucket of cold water.  There is a restaurant in Ginza called Fresh Pasta Monster that is serving “Shaved Ice Fresh Pasta” for a limited time Now that’s something to make me forget about that tramp, winter.

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Newly Developed Projector Lets You Make 3D Animations That Can Interact With Real Objects

A couple months ago when Tupac “appeared” at the Coachella Festival, they incorrectly called it a “hologram” when in fact it was a style of 3D projection—the same that is used when Hatsune Miku makes live appearances.  Now you can make your favorite murdered rapper or vocaloid come to life with similar 3D projections using your tablet computer and “Hakoani!”

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The Apex of Eraser Technology Has Been Met with “Resare Premium Type Plastic Eraser”

I’m a man of fine taste and refinement.  I write only the highest quality documents on the highest quality paper with the highest quality pencils.  However, when I make only the highest quality mistakes I demand that only the highest quality eraser be used to correct them.  That is why on 10 August, I will be going to the highest quality stationary store to buy the Resare Premium Type Plastic Eraser – the eraser to end all erasers.

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Olympics-Schmolympics, Who Makes the Better McDonald’s Burger; France or Japan?

Fresh off the most recent stint of Big America burgers released in McDonald’s restaurants across Japan like the Texas Burger, Idaho Burger, and Broadway Burger, the taste of the month now has turned its eye toward France.

This time though McDonald’s Japan has completely copied one of French McDonald’s sandwiches, the Le Grand.  To see if it lives up to the original I tried one in France and Japan for a tête-à-tête taste test.

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“Lina Blue Cooled Ramen” is More Than Just a Slick Name, It Might Add Years to Your Life While Keeping You Cool This Summer

On 18 July, a ramen shop in Nipponbashi, Tokyo called Bee Hive Genki no Moto had introduced a novel chilled ramen that’s equally cooling to the eyes, ears, and stomach – perhaps even the life.

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With just one week left to vote for the most evil employer of 2012, we’d like to shed some light on an overlooked “black corporation” – city governments.  Sure, government workers often get a bad rap as being slow and overpaid with ridiculous job security.  But in the words of Bob Dylan “the times they are a-changing.”

In Osaka, government workers will be forbidden to have any tattoos and a drinking ban is in talks for all the city workers of Fukuoka.  But to really see the slippery slope that these labor reforms can lead to, we should turn our attention to the People’s Republic of China.

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Man Creates Waste Basket That Targets Flying Garbage and Catches It by Itself

Have you ever seen a sci-fi movie about the future where robot garbage cans move by themselves to pick up our waywardly thrown garbage? You’d think humanity has reached the level of technology to make that happen, but no.

Evidently the people lazy enough to want an autonomously moving waste basket are also too lazy to create one.  That is until a mysterious mad scientist by the name of FRP created his own and recorded a video outlining the entire process.

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At “Robot Restaurant” You Can Accentuate Your Meal with Girls in Bikinis Riding a Neon Tank and Gigantic Fembots, We Investigate

A new restaurant modestly named “Robot Restaurant” has opened in Shinjuku on 18 July but already has generated a lot of buzz on the internet.  Its quick surge in popularity may have to do with the rumored post-apocalyptic giant robot show that goes on while you eat and is said to cost 10 billion yen (US$127M) to create.  We had to go and see if this is for real.

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Blistering 160km/h (99mph) Fastball Pitched by High School Student

The baseball world in Japan has been shaken to its core by a pitch so fast it stands among the fastest in the world – and it was done during a high school game.

The pitch, thrown during a televised semifinal match between Ichinoseki Gakuin and Hanamaki Higashi, has focused all the attention of professional baseball onto young Shohei Otani, the pitcher for Hanamaki Higashi High School.

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Child’s Birthday Coming Up? Why Not Get Them a Life-Sized Brachiosaurus?

It seems you can buy just about anything on the internet these days, and here’s another bit of proof to put on the pile.  What’s the one thing you could add to your home and garden that would make you stand out among your neighbors?

You got it; an 18 meter (59’) tall, 3 ton (2205 lbs) Brachiosaurus statue.

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Future and Past Collide as Long-Awaited “Evangelion and Japanese Sword Exhibit” Opens

You may have read our previous report about how Japan’s top sword makers had been called upon to bring your favorite weapons from the hit anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion off the screen and into reality.

Well, the day has finally arrived as the Bizen Japanese Sword Museum has at long last opened their “Evangelion & Japanese Sword Exhibit” utilizing traditional sword making techniques to create swords of the future Evangelion universe.

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Apoopalypse Now! We Use Twitter and Japanese Linguistics to Track the Toilet Habits of Japan

It seems the days of keeping novels or magazines on a stand by the toilet are slipping away from us as more and more people are taking their smartphones into the loo to pass the time.  On top of this, social media has paved the way for everyone to update the world on all their daily minutiae.

And what could be minuter than broadcasting our bowel evacuations to the world.  On an individual basis such information might be meaningless to others but when analyzed en masse we can learn something about the pooping habits of a nation.

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See Tokyo on the Cheap, See It in Lego and More

Who doesn’t love Lego?  It’s a toy that has certainly stood the test of time and transcended all boundaries of gender, class and geography with its simple yet endless possibilities.

And who doesn’t love Tokyo? It’s a city that has certainly stood the test of time and grown into quite the cultural mecca of food, science, and art.  However, it’s a big city that requires time to explore fully.  So why not head down to Decks in Odaiba, Tokyo Beach to see the best of it in everyone’s favorite medium – Lego! But that’s not all Legoland Tokyo has to offer.

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It seems that some of life’s simplest yet most widespread problems never have solutions.  Millions of men worldwide have to watch their hair fade away with no reliable cure.  Or how about that man or woman who somehow manages to sit next you on the subway or bus making your eyes water with their biological curse of body odor, better known by bacteriologists by its scientific name: “pit stank.”

Pit stank doesn’t discriminate.  The victims are our fathers, sisters, children, and spouses. However, thanks to the pioneering efforts of a legal rep for an NPO in Sendai working with Tohoku University’s New Industry Creation Center the world is one step closer to a cure for this socially scorned affliction.

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A recent first round qualifying game for the high school league national championship between rivals Nichidai Fujisawa (Japan University’s High School) and Buso ended in controversy after a botched infield fly ball was mishandled causing a Nichidai runner to steal home and earn a walk-off victory for their team.

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