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funny (Page 153)

Bubble Soccer is part soccer, part sumo, mostly Looney Tunes

Sports are getting way too serious these days. There are juicing scandals, fan fistfights and bench-clearing team-on-team brawls in just about every sport. It’s all just getting a little too heady, don’t you think?

Well, these Italians sure did. So, they took matters into their own hands, and created the hilarious new sport of Bubble Soccer, which finally combines the body contact of sumo wrestling, with the majesty of soccer and the zany antics of old Warner Bros cartoons, much to the amusement of Japan’s netizens.

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“That’s one large cafe latte to go. Would you like a boyfriend with that?” A Japanese coffee shop’s dating recipe

In Western countries, they say that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Oddly enough, Japan uses the similar phrase: “Otoko gokoro wo tsukamu ni wa ibukuro kara,” or “you can snatch a man’s heart if you start with his stomach.” A local Twitter user managed to find a store in the Okubo area of Tokyo that might have taken this phrase a step too far, however.

Included on the store’s outside sign board, where normally you’d find today’s specials, was the coffee shop’s secret recipe for catching a man:

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Public restroom inspires creative thinking, results questionable

No one likes using public toilets, do they?

With the smell, the uncomfortable and unfamiliar surroundings, and the fear of butt-cooties latching onto our heinies, it’s only out of desperation that most people will drop their pants and park their naked butts onto a public toilet seat. So when one of the more fastidious members of society is faced with a dire situation, what do they do?

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The traditional onsen tamago, not widely consumed outside of Japan, follows a simple recipe of blasting an egg in its shell with hot steam or letting it slow-cook in hot water. It’s basically a poached egg that’s shelled after the poaching.

Seeing as perfectly poaching an egg the traditional western way is a messy and surprisingly complicated affair, it makes a lot of sense to just leave the eggs in their shells and stick them in some hot water for a while, or better yet, just leave them in a hot car, forget about them entirely, and go play some XBox. Next time you go on a beer run, you’ll find delicious onsen tamago waiting for you on your dashboard, like this Japanese Twitter user.

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Show solidarity with fellow runny egg lovers with “over easy” smartphone case

How one prefers their fried eggs cooked is about as divisive an issue as whether Batman or Wolverine would win in a fight. Many a surprise anniversary breakfast in bed has no doubt ended in bitter tears due to fried eggs being prepared in the incorrect way.

But you can avoid this unnecessary situation and show solidarity with fellow runny egg lovers with this new “egg in a basket” iPhone 5 case. Just snap your iPhone inside and share the other half with your runny egg soul mate; then, by clicking the two halves together as a secret greeting, you can baffle and enrage all those cretinous fully cooked yolk lovers at the diner.

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It’s that milestone of life that every young man waits for. When the moment comes he takes a breath, bows his head and asks for something that will change his life for ever.

We’re talking, of course, about getting 10,000 retweets on Twitter. This amazing dream came true for another lucky man in Japan recently. He also happened to get engaged too – which we think is super.

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Live on air, even with the best scripting and a highly skilled team behind you, anything can happen. Minor mishaps during live broadcasts rarely cause too much trouble, and most viewers are generally quite understanding when they do, but there are some combinations–such as, oh, a serious news bulletin and a doodle of a giant schlong– that tend to raise a few eyebrows.

As many of you may have seen, footage appeared online last week showing newscaster Siobhan Riley using a touchscreen to draw on a map of the local area during a live news bulletin, accidentally creating what some people think looks like a giant penis in the process. Unfortunately for Ms. Riley the news even made it out to Japan where netizens positively lapped it up.

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Green men pitching trouser tents and hat-wearing horses: the mascots of Japan

Japan’s mascot obsession is known by those even marginally familiar with the country’s culture. Characters like Hello Kitty and her signature silhouette are recognized in countries across the globe, and thanks to the wonders of the internet we’re able to learn more about other cultures than ever before. But something I find that many people don’t realize about Japan is the sheer breadth of things that get their own mascots. Take, for instance, Japanese prefectures.

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In Japan, there are roughly 450 national highways wandering their way through the country, connecting the various cities and prefectures.

Their sizes and conditions obviously vary widely depending on location and usage, but for the most-part they all share one thing in common: cars can drive on them. But on 338.2 meters (about 425 yards) of National Highway 339 in Aomori Prefecture, not a single car, truck, scooter, or motorcycle is allowed.

Why? Because it’s actually a staircase!

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US$125,000 power suit lets you battle Kaiju, snack without getting Cheeto fingers

Meet the Powere Jacket MK3, an elaborate power suit clearly inspired by anime and hitting the market just in time to ride the wave of excitement over Guillermo Del Toro’s Kaiju Vs. Robots monster movie, Pacific Rim.

Though the power suit is far less impressive than the towering robots of the film, according to the below video, it lets you achieve all kinds of superhuman feats, including running at faster speeds, lifting heavy objects, and eating Cheetos without getting orange powder all over your fingers.

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McDonald’s Japan last weekend introduced the first in its limited-time lineup of luxury quarter pounders with the 1,000 yen (US$10) “Black Diamond,” which features truffle shavings and thick-cut bacon.

Some McDonald’s locations, apparently unconvinced their usual clientele would spring for the exorbitantly-priced burger, decided to go above and beyond by offering a special seat for anyone who ordered the menu item.

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Hands-free burger holder frees hands to put even more food in your mouth

A few days ago, we designed and field tested a shoulder-mounted, hands-free burger holding device that allowed our gluttonous Mr. Sato to eat one of his beloved burgers without missing a Tweet. Then he wondered if his free hands might allow him to indulge his other passion… Get your mind out of the gutter! We mean noodles!

Read on for the results of our experiment and instructions on how to try it yourself.

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Japanese Titanic: a tale of garbled, hilarious, English

As anyone who has ever taught or studied a second language will tell you, online translation software simply don’t work. Sure, you can throw in short phrases or key words and it’ll help you out from time to time, and languages that are grammatically similar escape more-or-less unscathed, but the rest of the time the sentences these programs spit out is absolute garbage.

With a keen eye for humour, online hub and original content creators Smosh put together the following hilarious video, ‘Japanese Titanic‘. The script is made up entirely of lines generated by an online translator after turning the original English into Japanese and back again, making this easily one of the funniest videos we’ve seen in weeks.

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With the move to flash drives and cloud storage, CD trays may become a thing of the past, but don’t write yours off as a waste of space just yet. One Japanese Twitter user has found an excellent new use for his.

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My, Kitty, haven’t you grown!? Japan’s favourite feline gets a risqué remake

Oh, Kitty-chan, you look… different! Sent to us by Madrid-based reader April, these photos of a cheeky t-shirt riff on everyone’s favourite Japanese cat are sure to raise a few eyebrows both at home and abroad.

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Oh, dear heavens! What’s this?

Is Tokyo having freak, concentrated snowfall in the middle of summer? Have Mr. Freeze and Iceman been duking it out in Ginza? Is it a cotton candy terrorist attack??

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Nintendo Direct broadcast focuses on Pikmin 3, includes a moment of minor awkwardness

Yesterday at 8 p.m. Japan Standard Time, Kyoto-based video game giant Nintendo broadcast a brand new episode of its unique Nintendo Direct online presentation series, which the company uses to showcase new games and bring fans news on upcoming releases. Last night’s broadcast was somewhat unusual, however, in that popular Japanese comedian Hitoshi Matsumoto joined industry legend and creator of Super Mario, Shigeru Miyamoto, to play a little of the highly anticipated upcoming Wii U title Pikmin 3. Today, as well as with discussion of the beautiful new Pikmin outing, online bulletin boards are abuzz after the conversation between the two men both raised eyebrows and got a surprising amount of laughs from viewers at home.

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KFC Japan president Maseo “Charlie” Watanabe surprised and angered the front page of the Internet itself, Reddit, yesterday when he won Colonel Sanders’ iconic white suit at auction for US$21,510 and promptly tried it on for all to see.

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So two cool cats walk into a bar… 【Video】

Chubby cats? Check. Photographer cats? Check. Cat nuts? Sure, if you’re into that kind of thing. But cool cats propping themselves up on a makeshift bar? Okay, I think that’s a first even for us!

Recently posted to YouTube by Japanese user Chikatama, the following video sees white Scottish Fold Tama and his ginger pal Fufu hanging out on a typical weekday evening, too cool to start a conversation but for some reason never wanting to go home. Suffice it to say it cheered us right up!

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