Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 147)

Pop idols’ management demands 8 million yen in damages after two members caught dating fans

It’s a long-standing rule in the pop idol industry in Japan: performers should never become involved in romantic relationships. Doing so would, apparently, tarnish the reputations carefully designed to make these entertainers appear “accessible,” reducing them to the status of “regular people.” And that’s no life for an idol.

We’ve seen this rule lead to instances of head-shaving and weird YouTubers before in Japan. However, one idol management company is taking this rule to a new level and demanding compensation for damages as a result of performers fraternizing with fans–to the order of US$75,000.

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Video showing convenience store workers being forced to kowtow to thugs leads to one arrest

In Japan, particularly online, you may come across the term DQN (dokyun). It’s a label reserved for those at the lowest order of intelligence and social graces and those who rank in the highest percentile for violence and general douchebag behavior.

Catching one of these creatures in their natural habitat of the streets is a rare but obnoxious treat. That’s why it’s awfully nice of them to record their own anti-social behavior so that we may study their ways in the comfort of our own home, and so the authorities can arrest and prosecute them all the more easily.

Take alleged DQN Tsuyoshi Nakamura for example, who along with some associates stands accused of harassing, threatening, and extorting from the entire staff of a FamilyMart convenience store in Ibaraki, Osaka. Nakamura is also under suspicion of forcing them to get on their knees and bow in apology, with the entire scene being uploaded to YouTube for all to see.

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Construction warning sign only gets stranger the more you stare at it

The signboard above was posted on Twitter recently and piqued the interest of thousands with its unusual presentations. Japan has a history of construction warning signs that might seem odd in other countries, with roly-poly penguins notifying us of gas line maintenance or a cuddly panda stopping us from falling into an open manhole.

This one, however, has even Japanese people scratching their heads. At first glance the sign appears to have a frisky looking construction worker telling you about his project with a saucy wink. However, the more one looks at this image, the deeper the rabbit hole goes.

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New toy from Takara Tomy transforms eggs into custard pudding in just a few cranks of a handle

Although Japan’s purin (crème caramel/flan) differs somewhat from other countries’, everyone has those days where you just want to down a cup or two of the stuff due to some inexplicable craving. Other times you’re sitting there with a regular old cup of instant ramen and want to liven things up with that great custard taste mixed in.

The problem is that purin usually isn’t always at hand, so these cravings require a trip to the corner store or supermarket. But what if you could make your own custard pudding with minimal effort and using only a single egg? And what if you didn’t even have to break that egg to make it?

This dream may become a reality if an upcoming toy from Japan’s Takara Tomy Arts does what its amazing ad claims.

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Man gets rude awakening as 40kg lump of iron blasts through wall, lands just feet from his pillow

One of the great things about living in this modern society, apart from all the creature comforts like smartphones and underpants for said smartphone, is that we no longer have to live in fear of being struck down by cannonballs hurtling through the air around us.

At least for the most part we don’t. But every once in a blue moon someone might just find a 40kg (88lbs) lump of iron blasting through the wall of their home and landing right next to where they are sleeping. This time that unlucky person was one Keiya Yamamoto of Kawasaki City.

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My Melody dental clinic opens in Saitama: Sanrio faces its greatest licensing challenge yet

Sanrio and its vast array of cute characters such as Hello Kitty and My Melody have been seen on nearly every product imaginable – from contact lenses to passenger aircraft, they have made things just that much cuter. Hello Kitty was even able to explain forms of South African torture in her adorable dictionary.

But Sanrio may have bitten off more than they can chew with the Hearts Dental Clinic in Soka City, Saitama Prefecture. Is the sweetly disarming image of the hooded bunny My Melody enough to calm the considerable fears of children visiting the dentist?

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McDonald’s Japan is bringing Mushroom Risotto Balls this autumn and people couldn’t be angrier

If we’ve learnt one thing from the vast number of articles on this site, Japanese fast food chains like McDonald’s come up with some really good ideas to keep people coming to their restaurants. Regardless of whether they turn out delicious or disgusting, inventions such as the luxury burger line-up, avocado burger, and tofu nuggets are hard to ignore.

It’s gotten to the point that people in Japan may have grown too accustomed to the nice things served at fast food outlets. For example, McDonald’s recently announced their new autumn special – Mushroom Risotto Balls – and online reaction could largely be described as righteous indignation with comments like “only an idiot would eat that!”

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“Are… they OK?” Japan National Soccer Team practice video goes viral for their crappy performance

With Japan’s early defeat in the last FIFA World Cup finals, fans were eagerly awaiting a rebuilt and re-energized team under the guidance of new coach Javier Aguirre. This new national team is set to kick off for the first time on 5 September against Uruguay followed by a match against Venezuela on 9 September.

However, much of the excitement and anticipation held by fans of Aguirre Japan was quickly doused by a wet blanket in the form of a YouTube video posted on 2 September. In it we see what appears to be a practice session that looks…unencouraging to say the least.

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Elementary school drop-out may change the humble screw forever

NejiLaw  is a burgeoning company of about 10 people set up in Tokyo which is offering what the media is calling “the first revolution in the screw in 2,000 years!” At the helm of this company is President Michiwaki, and although his new type of screw is interesting, people can’t help but be more fascinated by the man himself. Michiwaki is an elementary school drop-out who felt that the education system had nothing to offer and so left to pursue a life of self-education and inventing.

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Shokkiri: The obscure art of sumo comedy

Sumo is often thought of as a frighteningly strict sport in which every aspect of a wrestler’s life, from the clothing they wear in public to etiquette in the ring, must adhere to a traditional set of rules. In other words, it seems like the least fun sport to be a part of in the world.

That’s why you might be surprised to learn that there’s a sumo comedy routine out there in Japan that’s been going on for over a century. It’s known as shokkiri and is essentially a sumo match where anything goes, sort of like a Harlem Globetrotters game. And despite being based on such uniquely Japanese traditions its humor is pretty universal and sure to crack smiles anywhere in the world.

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Ehime Prefecture’s new women’s prison decorated powder pink “to relieve feelings of oppression”

In Japan, there are currently 3,440 female inmates confined to seven correctional facilities which all together are built to hold 3,342 women. These statistics come from a spokesperson for the newly opened Saijo branch of Matsuyama Prison, which was built to address this overcrowding problem.

The new prison reportedly offers various facilities and services to cater to women’s needs, but most striking by far are the doors, barred windows and furniture all over the penitentiary, which appear to have been painted a soft pink color, as if to remind the inmates that they’re ladies first and convicted criminals second.

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“No ball games” & “No practicing comedy routines”: City Parks in Japan let you do less and less

If you’re like me and enjoy riding a bike while smoking a cigar, kicking a soccer ball around, with a group of friends and your dog while also shooting off a bottle rocket or two when going to the park, you’ll be hard pressed to find one that will accept you.

But you don’t even have to be nearly as obnoxious as I am to be denied entry into some of the thousands of municipal parks across Japan. In recent years, the number of bans on a vast range of activities ordinarily done it parks from riding bikes to walking dogs have been getting banned at an alarming rate.

At least, they would be, but alarms are also probably banned in many parks.

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High School Nanshiki Baseball championship sets record for longest game: 50 innings and four days

Nanshiki baseball is a variation of the sport unique to Japan where the game is played with a rubber ball rather than the typical hardball or softball. Although it’s not nearly as popular as the other sports, the competition can be fierce especially among the younger players. One example of this can be found in the 59th National High School Nanshiki Baseball Championships semifinals wherein one game turned into a 50-inning and four-day long test of endurance. And as if that wasn’t enough, the winner of that game had to proceed to the final round only a few hours after finishing.

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Pay Japan’s apology agencies to say “I’m sorry” when it’s just too hard to do it yourself

It’s a problem we all have to deal with at various points in our lives. We like to think we’re perfect and have it all figured out, but in reality no one is above making mistakes in their personal or professional lives. But it’s in these mistakes that through the humiliation of making amends to those we wronged we grow a little and become a better person as a result.

However, now thanks to a new line of business in Japan you don’t have to! Why go through all that painful guilt and general ickiness of facing up to the fact you’ve wronged someone when you can just pay someone else to do it for you? This way you can get back to the important things in life, like your golf swing or finally finishing that watercolor you were working on.

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Visiting the South Pole and 14 other lesser known crimes in Japan

Every country or district has their share of obscure crimes tucked deep in dusty long-forgotten law books. Archaic prohibitions on tying your horse to a dog or refusing to salute your teachers can be found everywhere. The following 15 laws however, are not outdated and many of us have probably done them at some point in our lives without realizing that in some cases it could land us in a Japanese prison.

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Cinemas in China let audience post comments onto the screen during the movies

With home entertainments systems always evolving, there seems to be less incentive to head on out to the local movie theatre for a $10 cola and four-year-old running up and down the aisle during an R-rated movie. This means it’s up to the cinemas to raise the stakes and provide new and intriguing movie-going experiences.

Some theaters in cities such as Beijing, Shanghai, and Hangzhou think they have found such an experience by allowing those in the audience to post their comments onto the screen for all to see while the movie plays. So now when I take my mother-in-law she can ask everyone “Why did Bruce Willis just shoot that guy?” instead of just me.

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China’s People’s Liberation Army recruitment video promises aerial dog fights, lots of dancing

Making a recruitment ad for military service is probably one of the hardest sells around. It’s easy to make someone want to buy a cookie. In fact, I want to buy a cookie just after typing that sentence, but motivating someone to put their life on the line takes a whole lot of finesse.

And finesse is what this new recruitment video for the Chinese communist party’s People’s Liberation Army (PLA) has in spades. Clearly intended for a younger audience, some of the hipper aspects of military service such as flying helicopters backwards, firing missiles and ensemble dancing are highlighted in this high-adrenaline three-minute promo video.

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Life doesn’t have a reset button, and neither does a PlayStation 3 controller come to think of it

This fire safety poster was tweeted recently and scored a whopping 21,000 retweets in only a couple of days. It’s an impressive feat for a public service announcement by the Nakagyo Ward Fire Department, but why?

The caption reads: “In life and fire, the reset button doesn’t work.” Okay, class, who can tell me why the reset button doesn’t work? Don’t all answer at once now… No, not because the cable’s on fire. This controller clearly has wireless capability. Oh, I see the person who tweeted this image has their hand up.

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Chinese chef dies after being bitten by the severed head of a cobra he was cooking

Snakes are a delicacy in many parts of the world and among them the Indochinese spitting cobra is held in high regard for both is scarcity and the alleged health benefits it holds to those who consume it.

For the people who prepare the cobras for consumption, however, it can be a completely different story. One chef in China’s Guangdong Province recently lost his life while dressing an Indochinese spitting cobra to serve to customers in a soup. Authorities are ruling this incident to be a freak accident. “Freak” is the operative word here, as the snake that bit the chef had reportedly had its head cut off several minutes earlier.

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