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Constipated cats, sticky blue poop and more: Japan’s 9 weirdest vending machine toys

Gachagacha or gachapon are vending machines that spit out little toys or other small items in a plastic egg. For a few bucks, you get not only a new anime figure or phone strap but also the thrill of submitting to the luck of the gachapon. Where I come from, you might find a similar machine dispensing stickers or candy in the front of a big box store, but there wasn’t much choice and the appeal wears off sometime before junior high. Here in Japan though, gachapon have an endless and ever-changing variety of contents, along with enthusiastic collectors of all ages. Entire stores exist simply to house hundreds of gachapon, and with all that variety, there’s sure to be some serious weirdness in there. This is Japan, after all.

We’ve scoured the Net to find nine of the most bizarre for your viewing pleasure.

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【Monday Kickstart】Hamsters just wanna have fun

We posted a silly video of baby ducks on our site last Monday, hoping to cheer up any of our readers who were going through a tough first day back at work. Two days later, we received the following comment on the video (thank you J.R.!): “No matter how bad your day was, remember that this video is waiting for you….”

This got us thinking…why not try to cure our readers’ Monday blues every Monday!? So may we humbly present to you the first video in our weekly series, “Monday Kickstart.” You won’t find explanations about Japanese culture or deep, enlightening thoughts, just something to make you smile as you begin your long haul into the week.

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How a foreigner’s Halloween prank in Japan started a debate about the imperial system

As we’ve seen, Japanese people are enamoured with the idea of Halloween. From limited edition sweets to pumpkin-orange accessories, the holiday in Japan is centred around all things cute, and very occasionally creepy. So what do you do if you’re a foreigner in Japan who wants to give the locals a taste of the prankster spirit that usually lurks around the corner on a traditional Halloween night?

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Soba shop window showcases fake noodles, real cat

Cats are always looking for a warm place to nap and they really don’t give a crap if it’s inconvenient for you or anyone else. That’s one of the things that’s awesome about them. A Twitter user recently captured one of these felines napping bold as brass in a shop window, giving not a thought to how much fur was getting in your lunch.

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Twitter user weighs growing kitten over a series of weeks, documents with insanely cute photos

At the risk of becoming an online shrine to all things feline following our reporting of everything from cat sushi, Attack on Titan: cat edition and multiple posts about Japan’s own feline star, Maru, when we discovered this series of 12 photos showing the growth of a kitten as it goes from barely being able to see over the edge of the scales to struggling to fit in, we couldn’t help but share.

Strap yourselves in for some serious cute, boys and girls.

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Cat table manners: Make a mess and get punched in the face 【Video】

Around our house, making a mess at the table might have gotten you a harsh word at most. This feline Miss Manners is a bit stricter about table manners, though. Her dining companion drops a bit of food and is promptly punched in the face!

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Japanese mushroom commercial with erotic overtones nears 3 million hits on YouTube

In Japan, Hokto is to mushrooms what Chiquita is to bananas: a household name that people know but aren’t overly excited by – until now!

The mushroom growers have been releasing an increasingly sexy line of commercials that seem to get pulled from the airwaves soon after debuting. The latest one, titled “Splendid Mushroom Kinkatsu,” depicts a love affair between actors Jun Kaname in the role of the spirit of mushrooms and Sawa Suzuki as the middle-aged woman he continuously haunts and seductively whispers about mushrooms to. As far as mushrooms go, this is pretty hot.

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Prestigious Japanese university to hold “National Pokémon Summit”

Ah, Japan. Just when I thought you couldn’t be any sillier, you throw me a gem like this. Apparently, Meiji University, a very well-known and well-respected educational institution is Japan, has announced that it will host a National Pokémon Summit next month.

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“Good luck with the exam!” US comic depicting Japanese WWII pilot met with chuckles in Japan

Although they are sometimes considered to be the pastime of kids and teenagers, modern comics and graphic novels often deal with some incredibly heavy and moving content. Craig Thompson’s Blankets, for example, is a spellbinding journey that will melt any adult’s heart, and despite using mice as protagonists, Art Spiegelman’s retelling of his Holocaust survivor father’s experiences in Maus was so moving that it was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1992.

The following American comic deals with equally heavy content: the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941. The comic lost a little credibility amongst Japanese readers earlier today, however, when one netizen noticed that it shows one of the pilots preparing for the attack by donning what appears to be a headband much more likely to be worn by school kids studying for a big exam than someone going on a mission from which they may not return.

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Spider-Man takes classes at the University of Tokyo

Spider-Man can apparently do whatever a spider can and that includes attending a class at the prestigious University of Tokyo. As he quietly sits in the front row of a regional geography lecture, we can’t help but wonder why his Spidey sense brought him to a boring lecture hall when he could have been swinging from the skyscrapers of Tokyo or turning into a dumpling.

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Japan is, by almost any criteria, an extremely safe country. You can wander most back alleys of Tokyo in the dead of night without any sense of danger, and calmly carry huge amounts of cash secure in the knowledge that you’re about as likely to come across a mugger in downtown as a man riding a horse.

While this bubble of safety is definitely a plus when you’re inside it, the flipside is that Japanese travelers, unaccustomed to street crime, violent or otherwise, tend to be extremely risk averse when going abroad. Driving this point home is the East Africa edition of a popular series of Japanese guidebooks, which is filled with warnings of danger that seem more like something out of a pulp action novel than a travel reference.

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This Chinese tongue twister will melt your brain

Everyone loves a good tongue twister, especially when getting to grips with a new language. I’ve had fun being challenged by Japanese coworkers at drinking parties to get my mouth around phrases like basu gasu bakuhatsu (“the bus gas explodes”) five times in a row, or aka-makigami ao-makigami ki-makigami (“red paper roll, blue paper roll, yellow paper roll”) on many occasions, but this Chinese tongue twister blows them all out of the water.

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Need a pick-me-up? Check out this magnificent and adorable dog butt!

Dogs are often referred to as “man’s best friend,” and it’s no wonder! Dog-owners spend so much time tethered to their pups: walking, eating, and sometimes sleeping together. It’s so calming to stare into those big, soulful eyes, filled to the brim with undying affection and emotional character.

But did you know that admiring the magnificence of their tail-ends can also leave one feeling refreshed? One of Japan’s Twitter users at least thinks her pup’s posterior has a lot to offer the world and recently decided to share…

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Is Umaibo housing the architecture of the future?

Everyday it seems that one company or another is producing a new type of building material that will revolutionize our lives and our homes. But it looks like they can all stop now. The ultimate in structural integrity and edible wall paneling has been discovered!

Not many would have thought to do this, but it takes a rare mind to spark a revolution of this magnitude. If you’re looking for the newest hot real estate tip, look no further–all you need to do is invest in the almighty umaibo!

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Bring your child’s imagination to life: 3-D printed figures of children’s drawings are awesome!

3-D printing is bringing us a whole new world of possibilities, from fetus replicas to Link’s adventuring weapons, and while the technology is still in development, it often seems like there’s nothing a MakerBot can’t make out of thin air.

But here’s something you probably had no idea a 3-D printer could do: Bring children’s imaginations to life.

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Awkward Jimmy Kimmel segment suggests some kids start being racist jerks at around age six

Without getting into our personal opinions of ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel (ahem, Conan is better, ahem), he’s had a string of pretty successful viral videos featuring kids and their crazy antics.

So, sensing more comedy gold, Jimmy dressed a bunch of kids up like politicians and asked them their thoughts about US current events, hoping for some adorable responses. After some initial cuteness, Jimmy asked how the kids thought America should take care of its debt to China, which is where the fun stopped for most of us, because one kid blurted out a disturbing proposal for solving the problem: kill everyone in China.

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Tiny intruder mobilizes entire cat army

I have cats. I also live next to a big park, so we do get some “wildlife” that wonders into the house now and then. I can attest to the fact that pretty much any creepy crawly that crosses our threshold ends up as a snack to one or the other of my furry friends. Usually, it’s a swift and brutal affair, but every now and then, a bug finds a place they can’t reach and drives them batty with its inaccessibility, causing them to yowl and tear around the house breaking furniture.

If that’s the chaos that can happen with just two cats, image what Twitter user @mugitoro1215 had to deal with when his seven cats all went after the same spider…

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The future of smoking: USB-powered Jii Lighter is here! (And it’s kind of insane)

If you’ve been hanging around the Internet as long as we have, there’s a good chance you’ve seen it all–or almost all. From sleepy cats to pandagators, it sometimes seems that there’s not much left to surprise us, and then a Japanese commercial comes along and proves us wrong!

Jii Lighters aren’t particularly revolutionary in design–they’re just electric lighters that can be charged via USB–but when it comes to marketing, we think they may be light years ahead of the competition.

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Japanese clothing brand earth music&ecology release new photo app, Mr. Sato has fun with it!

Though the brand hasn’t gained much popularity outside of Japan yet, earth music&ecology has propelled itself into the mainstream Japanese fashion world, thanks in large part to their ad campaigns featuring actress Aoi Miyazaki. With a focus on being “colorful and useful,” the brand seems mostly targeted at young women who aren’t looking for anything too extravagant.

Recently, the company rolled out a new smartphone app that allows users to add marketing text over their own photos, giving their patrons a chance to stand in Ms. Miyazaki’s place. A rather clever bit of marketing, we thought…until Mr. Sato decided to try it out!

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Symmetry is creepy! 26 photos of animals “evolving” with the help of mirror images

Thankfully the following images, which popped up on Japanese textboard site 2Channel earlier this week, were all produced using image sites such as PicHacks in order to create a symmetrical image from an existing photo, and are not of real-world creatures genetically engineered by nefarious scientists. Some of them will, however, most definitely be coming after you in your dreams tonight.

So come with us now as we step into the world of creepy evolutions and nightmarish creatures. And they said facial symmetry is a mark of beauty…

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