Bringing you yesterday's news from Japan and Asia, today.
Mr. Sato (Page 35)
Over the years, Thailand has gone by many names. Until 1939 it was Siam, and the country’s friendly citizens have earned it the nickname “The Land of Smiles.”
For a few days each year though, Thailand is also “The Land of the City-Wide Splash Fights.” Read More
Mr. Sato, you are quite literally the man! As our most trusted source of all things bizarre in Japan, you never disappoint. From the time you went in for a trim at a pet salon (on all fours mind you) to the time you tried to train your eyelids, the laughs (almost always at your expense) kept coming.
The following is a list of five reasons why we love our crazy reporter, Mr. Sato. We’re sure you won’t be disappointed.
Having already spent the vast majority of RocketNews24‘s budget on trips to Turkey and Portugal or stuffing our faces with vats of curry, we felt it was time to cut back on the spending a little. We know that our star reporter Mr. Sato loves to look good and is constantly changing his hairstyle to keep up with trends, though, so we were concerned that tightening the purse strings would crush his spirit entirely. It was quite the conundrum.
Then it struck us: what if it were possible to take our style-conscious investigator somewhere a little cheaper to get him tidied up every so often? What if one of Tokyo’s own dog grooming salons would consent to giving him a quick shampoo and trim? One slightly confused but ultimately successful phone call later we had Mr. Sato on a leash and were heading out the door.
Super-sized menus have been steadily on the rise in Japan, and one place in Akihabara, Tokyo has upped the ante further. On top of their original 1kg dish, Mammoth Curry has released a 2kg monstrosity of chicken, rice and sauce.
Fresh from the beauty salon, RocketNews 24 Curry Eating Classic runner-up Mr. Sato looks for redemption and has some advice for other 2 kilo curry challengers.
Readers may recall Kanagawa based brewery Sankt Gallen from their Valentine’s Day Chocolate Beer and Chocolate Glass promotion. Well, they were back to ring in April Fools’ Day with a coffee stout made using ingredients plucked fresh from an elephant’s anus.
The beer was only available in Japan and sold out in minutes. Luckily, we were able to get our hands on some and try it out. Actually, Mr. Sato tried it out. We just watched with a bucket.
Here’s his full report.
Although David Bowie is known around the world, he has a special group of fans in Japan as noted by last month’s David Bowie Café to celebrate his newest album in 10 years, The Next Day.
Among these fans is our very own Mr. Sato. The lovable reporter has always looked up to David Bowie, and one day recently slammed his fist down on the table as hard as he could proclaiming; “That does it! I’ve waited too long and am going to make myself look like Ziggy Stardust once and for all!” He then ran out the office to find a beauty salon.
No one in the editorial department actually noticed him though. Someone thought they had heard a small dog barking in the distance around the same time.
That’s right, kids, we’ve hit the big leagues. And it’s all thanks to you. Sure, we began in a tiny one-room office in Shinjuku, bickering with each other about elbow space, missing pencils and who had been using the communal coffee without putting a five yen coin in the jar beside it, but thanks to our wonderful readers and the attention of the Internet masses in general, we’re now a fully fledged news beast stationed in a swanky high-rise where we rub shoulders with some of Japan’s greatest innovators and creative geniuses.
To mark the occasion, we’ve just put the finishing touches to our new commercial, featuring none other than reporter extraordinaire Mr. Sato, and a tremendously catchy jingle. The full video — plus a special bonus version — after the jump!
Not too long ago, Mr. Sato was thumbing through a magazine when he came across an ad for something. On the page he could see a man sitting in a bath tub filled with cash. “Boy, he sure looks happy” Mr. Sato thought as he put down the magazine.
That image lingered in the back of his mind until the announcement of Loto 7’s biggest jackpot ever, 800 million yen (US$8.5M). Then it dawned on him. He could win the grand prize and realize his new dream of bathing in money.
“Winning the jackpot once should be no problem,” he thought to himself “but it’d be a little harder to win twice if I need that much to fill a tub.”
He had to be sure that 800 million yen was enough before he’d be foolish enough to play the lottery.
We’ve never been ones to shy away from fast food challenges, and today is no exception. Today may well be Friday to the rest of you, but for the RocketNews24 team, and especially our champion eating machine Mr. Sato, today was and will forever remain the day that we took on the challenge of the 100 slice onion tower.
From the people who brought you the 1,000 cheese slice whopper and the 1,050 rasher bacon burger, we proudly present: The Onion Tower Challenge.
Usually when people think of curry, the first country that springs to mind is India. But even in the land of sushi, ramen and okonomiyaki, curry and rice (or “kare raisu” as it is known here) often tops people’s lists of food favourites.
On Feb. 25, Japanese curry chain Go! Go! Curry launched its annual speed eating championship, which challenges famished food fans to consume two servings of their regular house curry and rice as quickly as possible. Unlike many eating contests where participants must simply force down as much food as possible, Go! Go! Curry’s challenge focuses entirely on how quickly diners can shovel food into their respective shout holes.
Always ready for a challenge, RocketNews24‘s eternally hungry reporter Mr. Sato grabbed his younger coworker Tashiro-kun and marched over to the branch of Go! Go! Curry nearest to Shinjuku station’s east exit to take part. Suffice to say, Tashiro-kun learned a lot during their visit. They say that every apprentice eventually becomes the master, but it’s clear that this young Jedi still has a long way to go.
The full video of the pair’s frantic face stuffing after the jump.
Our Mr. Sato has struggled with hairstyles in the past, and his troubles are compounded further by his jet-setting international lifestyle. A hairstyle that’s cool in one country can be totally dorky in another. The mullet’s continued success in Japan is testament to that.
So, when visiting Turkey recently, our reporter went to a barber and asked for “a popular hairstyle in Turkey.” Could this be the start of a sexier Mr. Sato?
From 18 January 2013, Japanese sweet specialist Cozy Corner released a dessert that will leave anyone with even a slightly sweet tooth wiping the drool from their lips and exclaiming, “I’m witnessing a dessert revolution!” Just what type of dessert could we be talking about? None other than a gigantic 65-piece strawberry parfait weighing in at, wait for it, a shocking 2,000 kilocalories! Shortly after hearing this announcement, our reporter Mr. Sato carried himself off to the establishment in question to see what all the fuss was about.
Slappy Cakes is a popular pancake restaurant in Portland Oregon that lets customers create their own custom pancakes at their tables. It’s a fun time for those who want a completely new pancake experience. However, its popularity has resulted in some long wait times.
Luckily, Slappy Cakes’ success has allowed it to expand, but rather than add another location in Portland they decided to set up shop in completely uncharted DIY pancake house territory: Shinjuku, Tokyo. We sent Mr. Sato to a pre-opening demonstration for a report.
Those of you who abhor the very idea of eating food that’s been anywhere near a creepy-crawly may wish to look away now.
Here at RocketNews24 we like to pride ourselves on our willingness to take up unusual food challenges. If we’re not baking Big Mac bread or gorging on bacon, we’re fighting our way through a kilo of curry and rice for your enjoyment. So as soon as word reached Rocket Towers that a nearby restaurant was serving up genuine insect cuisine, our reporter Mr Sato immediately sprang into action and boarded a train to Takadanobaba.
Who’d have thought that deep-fried imomushi (hairless caterpillars or hornworms) could be so delicious that they could bring smiles to our reporter’s face?
![[3D Photo Studio] Mr. Sato’s Very Own Lifelike 3-D model has Arrived!](https://soranews24.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2012/12/mini-sato.jpg?w=580 "[3D Photo Studio] Mr. Sato’s Very Own Lifelike 3-D model has Arrived!")
Now that was fast!
It was just 10 days ago that we were detailing our adventurous reporter’s trip to the newly opened Omote 3D Shashin Kan photography studio to be scanned and turned into an ultra-detailed model, and we were told that it’d be a month before the finished product arrived. But would you believe it’s already here! In our sweaty little hands!
And the result is spectacular.
Mr. Sato, you are the man! Not only were you able to obtain a Wii U before the rest of us even had a chance to hold one, but you had the audacity to show up to the release of the Wii U with a Wii U! And to top it all off, you were decked out in your signature look, “Blue Slime.”
Respect where respect is due!
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It came as an enormous shock to the entire team to hear that the legend that is Mr. Sato rarely visited Starbucks coffee houses.
Surrounded by the well-dressed, coffee sipping elite and with fancy lingo like “tall” and “grande” being thrown around, our reporter felt completely out of his depth at Starbucks and rarely dared to set foot inside even to grab a quick take-out coffee.
But after playing a lot of Black Ops 2 on the new office Wii U, a brilliant idea came to us…
Why should girls be the only ones allowed to stay toasty warm in winter?
Fed up with getting the chills and knowing that winter was only just beginning, RocketNews24‘s resident adventurer and male model Mr. Sato was feeling rather down in the dumps this week. But when news arrived that nearby Ikebukuro Tobu department store had begun selling a new range of stockings and ultra-warm underwear just for men, his face lit up with the warmth of a thousand suns and he was out the door in mere seconds.
Barely an hour later, he arrived back at RocketNews Towers ready to try his latest purchases on for us.
As you can see from the photo above, it was quite the show.
Would you believe us if we told you the image above is not a bowl full of blue paint, but actually a batch of curry prepared fresh at the second floor cafe of the Niconico Headquarters building in Shinjuku, Tokyo?
Known as the “Unappetizing Blue Curry”, this 700 yen (US $8.70) dish is true to its name in that it doesn’t make your mouth water, but your stomach churn with nausea!
But wait, that’s not that’s on the menu! There’s also a horrible liquid concoction roughly translated as “Intense Disgusting Juice: Extreme”, which costs a shocking 3000 yen, or about US$37.oo.
Why would they have such items on the menu? This is the question that piqued the curiosity of our own brave correspondent, Mr. Sato, who, no stranger to blue himself, was kind enough to sacrifice his stomach and give us a taste report. See what he has to say below.
With weather having turned cold, our intrepid Hyper Cool Biz Gentlemen Mr. Sato and Mr. Tashiro can finally put away their mankinis and start to pig out again. It’s good timing seeing as Pizza Hut and Evangelion are joining promotional forces to give Eva fans a chance to win never before seen merchandise.
From now to 16 December, if you buy Pizza Hut’s new “Hut Onebox” pizza combo with chicken nuggets and fries you get a chance to win Evangelion goodies such as a cushion shaped like an entry plug.
※“Entry plug cushion” might sound disgusting to non-fans. An entry plug is the capsule that people control the giant Eva cyborgs in.
Follow our gentlemen as they excitedly order their pizzas like two kids in a… pizza and Evangelion shop. What will they win?
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[Deleted] Article written for April Fool’s Day 2018
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