funny

Russian President Putin’s whiteboard doodle defies explanation

We’re often treated to videos of Russia’s President Vladimir Putin doing something ultra-macho, be it piloting jets and submarines, shooting large animals with tranquilizer darts, or fighting forest fires.

However, the leader of the largest country in the world also has a sensitive side. He just doesn’t let it show very often. When you give him the opportunity, though, just watch as he marvels you with his talent.

For example, while attending a demonstration for an interactive projection whiteboard, inspiration struck President Putin and he knew exactly how to visually express what was on his mind.

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Could this be the one thing you never want to find in your parents’ possession?

There are a number of things you would never want to find hidden in amongst your parents belongings, but this one might just take the top spot.

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Earlier this month, the Katamachi branch of the Chinese food restaurant Gyoza no Osho (King of Gyoza) in Kanazawa City, Japan, shut down after a group of men decided to drop in on the royal dumpling restaurant dressed in nothing but their birthday suits.

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That’s a nice mouse you have there. Be a shame for something to…happen to it…

The best and worst part about having siblings is the practical jokes. Or, to put it another way, the best thing about having siblings is getting revenge! Judging from the blurred picture above, can you guess what sort of fun an older brother had at his younger sibling’s expense?

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Osaka city worker busted for playing obscene amounts of solitaire on the clock

The Secretary General of the Osaka Board of Elections saw his annual pay docked two full months after it was discovered he’d spent 281 hours playing solitaire on the clock over a yearlong period ending in July.

What’s most amazing is that he got away with it all year until – and this is not a joke – a whistleblower finally had to come forward and turn the guy in. That kind of information leak certainly isn’t on the same level as the Bradley Mannings of the world, but it must have taken some guts for the guy to speak out about his boss’s solitaire addiction.

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Hot new item for habitual nose pickers

The feeling of wanting to pick one’s nose is something that every boy and girl can relate to. Unfortunately, society frowns upon people who blatantly go on a booger hunt. In Japan, even blowing your nose in public can be considered bad manners! We’re not sure how sniffling up your snot for hours is better than dispelling it all in one go, but that’s beside the point.

Bandai has a brand new product to ease that natural urge. When your nose has an itch that you’re just twitching to pick, here’s a prosthetic nose that you can pick even in public!

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Emo kitty haz a sad, needs your hugs

Life, as they say, is not fair. Sometimes it rains on your birthday. Sometimes your boss yells at your for jamming the printer when you haven’t used it in weeks. Sometimes your boyfriend/girlfriend decides your clothes would look better strewn across the front lawn. And, sometimes, you just have a sad face.

We’re not sure which of these problems is afflicting this poor emo kitty from Japan, but he clearly needs a hug.

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Need eye drops? There’s an unnecessarily complicated machine for that!

So let’s say you spend all day staring at a screen–computer screen, TV screen, smartphone screen, Death Star targeting screen. It doesn’t really matter what screen, since they all emit a lot of blue light–which can be hard on your eyes. So, you want to protect your vision, but what do you do? You should get some eye drops!

Unfortunately, as you probably know, getting the eye drops from the bottle into your eyeballs is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. Almost as difficult as getting Comiket attendees to bathe. But have no fear! Omocoro, the Photoshop wizards, are here to save the day with a Pythagorean device!

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Lexus car ceremony is eerily reminiscent of a…funeral??

This must be a summer for fake funerals. In July, Hatsune Miku found herself interred in Nico Nico Douga videos following a politician’s speculative remarks. And now a Lexus car is at the center of a new round of Internet amusement after some commenters noted that the company’s “car delivery ceremony” is oddly similar to a funeral.

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Road sign encourages safe driving while bringing laughter to the Internet masses

While governmental agencies aren’t exactly known for their sense of humor, accidental or otherwise, we occasionally get a nice surprise, like the road sign above. It reads, simply enough, “Feeling sleepy while driving / When will you take a break? / How about now!”

“Hunh? What’s so funny about that,” you ask.

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Hey, Starbucks laptop guy, whatcha doin’ over there?

Starbucks and virtually every other coffee shop worthy of faux hipster attention (the real hipsters having moved on to places that use siphons and play accordion music) have become synonymous with scenes of people using laptop computers in recent years, with rows of patrons sipping from paper cups while idly clicking, scrolling, pinching to zoom and staring lazily at their screens. Some even make temporary offices out of their few square feet of space, paying their rent in cups of joe and watched by hawk-eyed staff whose warm smiles drop a millimetre for every second a small cafe latte is nursed just that little bit too long.

For the rest of us, though, these table-hogging laptop luggers are a source of genuine intrigue. “What on earth could they be doing?” we wonder to ourselves, irked that they’ve taken all the good seats. “Are they actually working over there or are they just scrolling through photos on Facebook and tapping LOL into comment boxes?”

Japan’s My Navi News too was keen to know exactly what the folks who camp out at Starbucks are actually doing while the rest of us are engaging in conversations or staring awkwardly at the floor after making eye-contact one too many times with the cute barista, and put together a survey to find out. Let’s take a look at their findings.

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Stop the presses! Scoundrels enter Pokemon tournament with illegal monsters!

In what is undeniable proof that humanity is doomed, Nintendo recently announced that up to 1,500 people, some of them adults competing against children, entered the 2013 Global Showdown Pokemon tournament using illegally acquired Pokemon.

Apparently not content to wander the virtual landscape beating harmless critters into submission then trapping them in tiny, sphere-shaped cells, these deviants used a third-party program to magic high level Pokemon into their inventory without all the legwork and random luck usually required.

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China gives big boost to Pacific Rim in box office, amuses many with weird subtitles such as “Pegasus Meteor Fist”

While the Guillermo del Toro ode to tokusatsu (Godzilla, Ultraman, etc.) films had a reasonable opening in its home country, the box office take was rather low to cover its $190 million dollar budget. However, thanks to an astounding foreign release Pacific Rim can be considered a big success – the highest grossing foreign film of the year so far to be exact.

A large part of that success can be attributed to the might of the massive Chinese film going population. As of 18 August, the Chinese revenue was reported to be 618 million yuan (US$100M) surpassing even what Pacific Rim pulled in its home country. But there’s another reason why people are paying attention to the film’s Chinese release.

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Bubble Soccer is part soccer, part sumo, mostly Looney Tunes

Sports are getting way too serious these days. There are juicing scandals, fan fistfights and bench-clearing team-on-team brawls in just about every sport. It’s all just getting a little too heady, don’t you think?

Well, these Italians sure did. So, they took matters into their own hands, and created the hilarious new sport of Bubble Soccer, which finally combines the body contact of sumo wrestling, with the majesty of soccer and the zany antics of old Warner Bros cartoons, much to the amusement of Japan’s netizens.

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“That’s one large cafe latte to go. Would you like a boyfriend with that?” A Japanese coffee shop’s dating recipe

In Western countries, they say that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Oddly enough, Japan uses the similar phrase: “Otoko gokoro wo tsukamu ni wa ibukuro kara,” or “you can snatch a man’s heart if you start with his stomach.” A local Twitter user managed to find a store in the Okubo area of Tokyo that might have taken this phrase a step too far, however.

Included on the store’s outside sign board, where normally you’d find today’s specials, was the coffee shop’s secret recipe for catching a man:

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Public restroom inspires creative thinking, results questionable

No one likes using public toilets, do they?

With the smell, the uncomfortable and unfamiliar surroundings, and the fear of butt-cooties latching onto our heinies, it’s only out of desperation that most people will drop their pants and park their naked butts onto a public toilet seat. So when one of the more fastidious members of society is faced with a dire situation, what do they do?

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Easy lunch – Man cooks a batch of eggs on his car dashboard in the summer heat

The traditional onsen tamago, not widely consumed outside of Japan, follows a simple recipe of blasting an egg in its shell with hot steam or letting it slow-cook in hot water. It’s basically a poached egg that’s shelled after the poaching.

Seeing as perfectly poaching an egg the traditional western way is a messy and surprisingly complicated affair, it makes a lot of sense to just leave the eggs in their shells and stick them in some hot water for a while, or better yet, just leave them in a hot car, forget about them entirely, and go play some XBox. Next time you go on a beer run, you’ll find delicious onsen tamago waiting for you on your dashboard, like this Japanese Twitter user.

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Thai commercial shows us the goods, leaves us laughing

From stuffing to pushup bras, women the world over have numerous techniques for increasing their bust. So, regardless of how you might feel about contemporary beauty standards, it’s impossible to deny the massive demand that “size-increasing” bras have. And you can bet that every undergarment-producing company in the world wants to be the one with the, uh, biggest reputation.

In an attempt to prove just how much their bras can boost your bust, the Thai branch of Wacoal released a risqué commercial that’s earned them quite a bit of international attention. And once you see it, you’ll understand why!

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Show solidarity with fellow runny egg lovers with “over easy” smartphone case

How one prefers their fried eggs cooked is about as divisive an issue as whether Batman or Wolverine would win in a fight. Many a surprise anniversary breakfast in bed has no doubt ended in bitter tears due to fried eggs being prepared in the incorrect way.

But you can avoid this unnecessary situation and show solidarity with fellow runny egg lovers with this new “egg in a basket” iPhone 5 case. Just snap your iPhone inside and share the other half with your runny egg soul mate; then, by clicking the two halves together as a secret greeting, you can baffle and enrage all those cretinous fully cooked yolk lovers at the diner.

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