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Japanese netizens rewrite fairy tales in modern corporate situations so real they make us weep

In this modern age and day, most of us spend our days running the rat race and getting worn down by work and school, which is probably why some of us fantasize about the happy endings of fairy tales to get away from real life for a while. But then reality slaps us in the face and reminds us that the birds and mice aren’t going to help you with your chores even if you can sing like Celine Dion, Prince Charming is not coming to whisk you away from your office desk, and your bills aren’t going to vanish even if you fall into a deep, deep sleep.

If the heroes and heroines in fairy tales existed in modern-day and had to work like the rest of us, would their stories still be filled with all that magical glitz and romance? Perhaps not. Japanese Twitter users have been re-interpreting some fairy tales from a corporate perspective, which was supposed to be a creative and entertaining activity, but the new tales were so close to home they couldn’t even laugh over them.

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Series of steamy shojo manga illustrations takes on the sizzling topic of IT security

It’s one of the all-time classic scene setups of Japanese girls’ comics. Our heroine finds herself in a secluded hallway of her school, alone with a handsome but mysterious male classmate. He turns to her and dramatically pounds the wall behind her, executing a perfect kabe-don before leaning in close to tell her a secret.

So what’s the dramatic line going to be this time? “I love you?” “We actually met years ago and were childhood friends before you lost your memories?” “Don’t hug me, or I’ll transform into a dog?”

How about, “Don’t you know how important protecting your smartphone password is?”

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Kung-fu rugby invades Hong Kong Sevens 2015

I have fond memories of going to the old Harlem Globetrotter games to watch all the sports-themed hijinks and hilarity of Curly, Twiggy, and the rest of the gang. Even though my father would later lose all of my college savings on ill-advised Baltimore Rocket bets, those games still hold a warm place in my heart.

And so, it’s great to see that this tradition of comedic sports entertainment lives on in 2015 as this brief video showing some highlights from a kung-fu rugby game during the Hong Kong Sevens tournament at the end of March.

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Website lets you eat ramen with handsome actor – Great for fans, sort of awkward if you’re not

Pretty much ever since it was invented, men have been the target market for instant ramen. That’s slowly starting to change, though, as companies are finding out that plenty of women, too, are interested in a hot, tasty meal that only takes three minutes to prepare.

Those three minutes, though, can seem awfully long when you’re sitting by yourself with nothing to do while you wait for your noodles to cook. So, Nissin, to celebrate the start of its new line of healthier, more cosmopolitan instant ramen aimed at women, has set up a special website where a handsome Japanese actor will keep you company while you cook and eat your instant ramen.

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Six ways to spot someone who just moved to Tokyo

Spring is the start of both the school year and the business years in Japan. That means that right about now thousands of newcomers are pouring into Tokyo, as they move to the capital to start college or their professional careers.

But the hustle and bustle of Tokyo is on a scale unlike any other town in the nation. Even people who’ve grown up in Japan sometimes stick out like a sore thumb when they first move to the capital, as illustrated in this six-point guide to spotting someone who just moved to Tokyo.

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Never lose focus on April Fools’ Day, you never know who will surprise you next

There’s nothing like kicking back in a theater and watching the latest movie release. With so many new flicks coming out every month, it’s hard to choose the best ones. That’s why the humble movie poster is really handy. Every once in a while a poster will jump out at you and catch your attention. Maybe it features a sexy image, or it shows a cool movie star, either way, the movie it is advertising wins a small spot in your memory.

In the case of this movie, the studios are having a little bit of fun at your expense, however. Behold, Will Smith’s new movie, Focus, starring NOT Will Smith! Who could possibly pull off the swagger of the former Fresh Prince of Bel Air?

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KanColle? More like ManColle as real Japanese men parody anime opening 【Video】

If the Internet isn’t about showing off your own original skills and talent, then it’s for parodying what’s already well-known and liked. The constant stream of anime and games from Japan is a gold mine of parodies just waiting to be made.

The Kusarine Project has had an active YouTube channel since 2009 where they’ve taken some of the world’s favorite anime and video game openings and turned them into live-action works of “art”. Their 17th and newest cover tackles the KanColle opening, with their signature masked men taking on the role of the anthropomorphized battleships turned school girls. Were you expecting anything else?

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Haters gonna hate: Japanese RN24 writer claims Mr. Sato is trash, but we’re not buying it

While the advent of social media and the 24-hour news cycle has certainly made us more connected and increased our awareness of…stuff, it also seems to have resulted in a bit of an epidemic of shade-throwing. Whether it’s celebrities putting each other on blast or random Twitter eggs flaming each other, it can often feel like the Internet has drunk deep from the well of haterade.

For the most part, we here at RocketNews24 have stayed out of the fray, but it looks like all that’s about to change. While you may think that our ace reporter Mr. Sato is the coolest, sexist guy in the world, Nakano, another writer for the Japanese side, is going public with why our hero is a total jerk. But the real question is: Should we believe Nakano or is he just jealous? Read on and decide for yourself!

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It’s probably safe to say Yukihito Nakanishi’s life hasn’t turned out exactly ike the 37-year-old Kyoto native planned. A baseball player in his student days, he was selected by the Nippon Ham Fighters with the overall seventh pick in the 1996 draft, but struggled to raise his game to the level required to be a star, or even a regular, in the Nippon Professional Baseball league.

Nakanishi was cut in 2000, having never pitched in an official game. Still, he’s managed to transition to life as a non-professional athlete, finding a job and moving back to Kyoto. He even seems to have found a new hobby, fishing, which ordinarily would be great, except that the police are claiming that instead of going after bass or trout, Nakanishi recently cast his line in hopes of hooking the lingerie his neighbor had hung out to dry.

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Suntory encourages responsible drinking with bizarre guide to declining party invitations

There are two types of people that, no matter how much they love the culture, are ultimately going to have a bad time in Japan: Vegetarians, and teetotalers.

Basically every meal in Japan has some type of meat in it, and the more strict you are with your vegetarian/vegen diet, the more difficult it’s going to be to find something to eat. Even supposedly vegetarian options sometimes contain pork or chicken broth or other sneaky animal product additions. And when it comes to those who choose not to drink, or can’t because of medical conditions, it’s almost as hard to get by, if not harder.

Thankfully, Suntory is here to help. Sort of.

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Late last month, we got indisputable visual evidence (which is by no means to be confused with humorous photoshopped evidence) of something we’ve been suspecting for the last several years: U.S. President Barack Obama is a huge fan of cute girl anime.

Politics being what they are, the vice president tends to follow the president’s lead on major issues such as foreign affairs, economic policy, and what gets watched on the federal property DVD players after all those press conferences are over. So it’s only natural that images, every bit as convincing as those of President Obama, have now surfaced showing Vice President Joe Biden to be passionately infatuated with the teenaged idols of anime Love Live!

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How to double the value of your $10 car: Spend 30 minutes adding racing stripes!

Some of you may remember the fateful day last spring when our Japanese-language reporter Go bought what was probably the cheapest car in Japan by acquiring his current ride for just 980 yen (US $8.30). Nine months later, not only is his 1997 Mitsubishi Minica still firing on all three cylinders under its hood, but it recently passed its mandatory biennial safety inspection, called shaken in Japanese.

In celebration, Go treated the Minica to a wash for the first time since he drove it back to Tokyo from Nagoya. With a fresh coat of wax, it was looking better than ever, but Go still wasn’t 100-percent satisfied with the car’s appearance. See, Go believes the Mini is just an overall cooler car than the Minica, so he set out to transform the latter into the former using the finest vinyl sheets and magic markers he could find.

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Chinese comedians pitch brilliant boyfriend-rental service to fend off nagging parents 【Video】

The Lunar New Year is China’s biggest holiday and the time when most of the country travels back home in impressive numbers, prays for luck and of course spends some quality time with family who remind their adult children why they’re failing at life. And the Spring Festival, as it’s commonly called, can be an exceptionally annoying time for single 20- and 30-somethings whose more traditional parents gripe constantly about the lack of a significant other and the every-decreasing hope of a grandchild. A Chinese comedy group put out a video recently that offers single woman a solution to this headache—a company that rents out boyfriends to impress your parents and get them off your case until the next New Year holiday.

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So breasts seem to be popular these days. As a matter of fact, walk into any Japanese bookshop or convenience store and you’ll find magazine racks full of photo collections of gurabia, the country’s term for sexy but not-quite-naked models. Almost always busty, the sight of gurabia posing suggestively, often while relaxing in a pool or frolicking in the surf of an island paradise, has helped generations of men in Japan through a lonely winter’s night.

But while the men who run their eyes (or whatever other body parts) over their photos are obviously enjoying an escapist fantasy, one gurabia recently revealed some things fans might rather not have known about the industry. Her claim about the prevalence of surgically enhanced breasts gels with many people’s preexisting assumptions, but what’s shocking is what she claims is the true reason for some of those sweetly seductive smiles.

In case it wasn’t clear, we’ll be talking about/showing pictures of gurabia up ahead, so unless you’re employed as a swimwear designer, this probably isn’t safe for work.

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US kids react to breakfasts from other countries, and it’s equal parts cute and hilarious 【Video】

One of the best parts of traveling to other countries are all the new and exciting (and sometimes even gag-inducing) food experiences that come with it. While some may turn up their nose at something like fermented cabbage, fish eggs, or animal innards – something which is strange and exotic to one culture but a completely normal food to another – these likes and dislikes really have little to do with personal tastes, and everything to do with upbringing.

I believe that it is very important for kids to be introduced to many different cultures from a young age, to help give them a better understanding of and respect for the world around them, and what better way to do that than by introducing foods from other countries? That is what the people over at YouTube channel Cut Video did, when they created their video “American Kids Try Breakfasts From Around the World”.

As we all know, kids can tend to be picky eaters, so introducing them to unknown foods is sure to bring a few sour faces, as you can see in the video after the jump!

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In the mood for love and pizza? Domino’s will deliver your pie with romantic kabe-don wall pound

Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year, which makes it a perfect opportunity for an elegant dinner out with your special someone. Of course, if you’re single, you may want to bypass a meal in a restaurant surrounded by couples making kissy faces at each other and just call Domino’s for a pizza instead.

But even if you’re not headed out, Domino’s understands that maybe you’re in the mood for both pizza and love. That’s why this Valentine’s Day the popular pizza providers are offering a deal that includes a cute heart-shaped pizza, and, if you’d like, a romantic kabe-don wall pound as part of the delivery service.

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Before we even get into this, there’s something I have to say in the interest of full disclosure: I’m a bit of a gym rat and I have more than a little bit of a bone to pick with Japanese gym etiquette, so apologies if I sound a little harsh or gripe-y, and/or you feel the strong wind of me chucking dumbbells in frustration throughout this article.

Having experienced the joy and wonder of numerous American gyms – often 24 hours, never too crowded, always sprawling and well-equipped, cheap and usually never exceeding more than two elderly men gleefully prancing naked through the locker room at any one time – you can imagine the soul crushing disappointment I felt upon coming to Japan and realizing that even the best gyms routinely exceed US$150 a month to use, rarely stock all the equipment you’ll need, and are generally populated exclusively by old dudes who spend 10 minutes chatting up their buddies while sitting on the only bench in the place, and the rest of their “workout” enthusiastically blow-drying their testicles in the locker room.

The only small consolation I have is that, apparently, one of the gym-frequenting writers at Japanese sister site is similarly miffed by the myriad annoyances of Japanese gyms… and he’s even been kind enough to sit down and badly sketch out all the craziest folks who’re likely to ruin your workout:

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New batch of socks with collars adds sailor suit style for your feet, plus lace and button-downs

A few months ago, we took a look at a collection of truly unique socks that took their styling cues from shirts by providing cute and quirky collars for your ankles. The offbeat idea seems to have found a market, as manufacturer Erimaki Sox is back again with three new designs that add extra femininity, button-down class, and even some sailor suit-style playfulness.

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‘Rassun Gorerai: English version’ is even more oddball than the original 【Video】

Humour can be so dependent on the language and culture of its country of origin, that it easily gets lost in translation. But what happens when you try to translate nonsense? That’s what Satoshi Castro has tried to do with his English version of comedy duo 8.6sec Bazooka’s ‘Rassun Gorerai’, the hit chanting-dance routine that’s racked up 9 million views on YouTube so far.

If you’re scratching your head trying to figure out what that title rassun gorerai means, you’re in luck – it doesn’t mean anything! So how will this catchy Japanese comedy song work in English? Join us after the jump to find out!

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World’s largest internet hub in Aomori?

Twitter user @rairacp_62 spotted this building in Aomori and something about it seemed very familiar…

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