funny

What to Do If Suddenly Stuck with 100,000 Toy Blocks: A Management Guide

Being in management is difficult. Sometimes you have to make lightning-quick decisions that you later regret. However, the most valuable members of an organization are the ones that take a risk, fail, and then make success from that very same failure.

The pioneering entrepreneurs at Omocoro are just such business men and would like to share their techniques with you on how to make gold out of 100,000 errantly purchased toy blocks in the following handy guide.

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Mr. Sato Schools Fellow Reporter at “Go! Go! Curry” Speed Eating Contest

Usually when people think of curry, the first country that springs to mind is India. But even in the land of sushi, ramen and okonomiyaki, curry and rice (or kare raisu” as it is known here) often tops people’s lists of food favourites.

On Feb. 25, Japanese curry chain Go! Go! Curry launched its annual speed eating championship, which challenges famished food fans to consume two servings of their regular house curry and rice as quickly as possible. Unlike many eating contests where participants must simply force down as much food as possible, Go! Go! Curry’s challenge focuses entirely on how quickly diners can shovel food into their respective shout holes.

Always ready for a challenge, RocketNews24‘s eternally hungry reporter Mr. Sato grabbed his younger coworker Tashiro-kun and marched over to the branch of Go! Go! Curry nearest to Shinjuku station’s east exit to take part. Suffice to say, Tashiro-kun learned a lot during their visit. They say that every apprentice eventually becomes the master, but it’s clear that this young Jedi still has a long way to go.

The full video of the pair’s frantic face stuffing after the jump.

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Pocket Money for Leo: Django Unchained Star finds Extra Work Pimping Whiskey in Japan

Commercials: a lot of celebrities in the west won’t touch them with a borrowed pole. After working hard to build up their portfolio and making themselves a household name, for many professional actors the mere thought of putting their face on an advertisement is completely abhorrent.

In Japan, however, it’s a very different story. TV celebrities, singers and sports stars are a common feature on commercials, whether they be on television, magazines or even hanging over our heads as we take the train to work each morning. Watches, skin cream, beer, anti-hair loss, cars, language courses; you name it, someone famous is smiling and pretending they love it in exchange for a few extra yen.

This time it’s the turn of hollywood heart-throb Leonardo DiCaprio to take the cash and smile for the camera. Because, as we all know, DiCaprio never shuts up about how much he loves Jim Beam whiskey usually…

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Chinese Bootleg DVDs Improve on Originals in Every Way

Did you know that Star Wars: Episode I was distributed by Mac and had Arnold Schwarzenegger reprising his role as Dutch from Predator?

Of course not because it’s not true, but how great would it be if it had been. This and the other images below of bootleg DVDs from China have been circulating the web for some time now. However, among all the laughter, people are overlooking the valuable lessons Hollywood studios could stand to learn from them.

Without exception, all of these comically mislabeled and wantonly Photoshopped covers improved on their originals.

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Warmhearted DJ Spins for Kindergarten, Kids Go Mental 【Video】

Proving once again that Gloria Estefan was right and that the rhythm is gonna get you, Japanese DJ Kazuhiro Abo’s fantastic video shows a 10-minute session he did during visit to a kindergarten as part of a workshop appropriately titled “Kids and Music”. Although it takes the little ones a while to get moving at first, once they’re all up on their feet they’re bouncing and spinning around as only kids can do.

The full cute, chaotic video after the jump.

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Japan’s Lonely “Chocolate Refugees” Ask for a Sweet Donation

Valentine’s Day. It may well be little more than an excuse for chocolate manufacturers to line their pockets, but its popularity in Japan seemingly knows no bounds. For those men in relationships, the day is usually one filled with gifts of fondue toilets and creepy girlfriend-shaped chocolates, but for the singletons out there it’s just another day to feel unappreciated.

But not these young men! Rather than spend February 14 without a little somethin’ sweet, they donned sunglasses and face masks and descended on Tokyo’s Machida station asking for chocolate donations from passers-by. And, would you believe it, they were actually kind of a hit with the ladies.

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Why one Man Refuses to Sit: Standing up to Pee “A Matter of Honor”

No matter how much you love someone, once you start living with them minor irritations are bound to come to the surface. The object of your affections – that perfect specimen of a human being whose every movement used to be cute, sexy or endearing in some way – suddenly becomes just another person with flaws of their own. Perhaps they slurp their coffee too loudly. Maybe they have a habit of leaving hair in the plug-hole or not changing the toilet roll when the old one is finished. These minor issues are the kind of thing that we only come to notice after the initial “honeymoon” dating period when we were always dressed to impress and only have to keep our bad habits in check for the duration of a single evening at a time.

In a recent story about marital relations, Japanese website News Post Seven heard from both relationships experts and a number of married women who were distinctly irked by their husbands’ bad habits. While issues such as of a general lack of help with the housework or cooking frequently cropped up as the cause of arguments and unhappiness, one of the most common complaints made was of husbands making as mess while peeing. Told to take a seat while draining his spuds, however, one Japanese man was seemingly morally offended by the mere suggestion, stating that to pee standing up is “a matter of honour”.

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Lazy Slobs Rejoice: Upside-down “Desk” To Use While You Snooze

Now all you need is an intravenous drip, catheter and bed pan…

On 7 February, a new day of sloth dawned with the issue of Thanko’s new upside-down laptop desk, aptly named Aomuke Gorone Desk (“Napping Face Up Desk”) for 7,980 yen (US$86).

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Public Ritual Sex in Japan: Bizarre Fertility Festival “Onda Matsuri”

One of Japan’s most ancient fertility festivals, Onda Matsuri (“Rice Field Festival”), which features public ritual sex, was held on February 3 at Asuka-ni-imasu Shrine in western Japan.

Around 1,400 years ago, Asuka was Japan’s political, cultural and spiritual heartland. The chief priest of this Shinto shrine is the 87th priest in an unbroken line of priests always named Asuka- a tradition that has stretched down the ages for 87 generations, perhaps thanks to the legendary fertility conferred by the rite, which is said to bring luck in matchmaking, marriage and easy childbirth. Easy childbirth? That sounds a tad oxymoronic. if you ask me. But at any rate, it sounds better than having my deity “greatly multiply my pain in childbirth” for my sins, naming no names…

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You’re Not Really Japanese Until You Have a Set of Sliding Door Power Outlet Covers

Yes, you can use chopsticks, and yes, you pronounce the words karate and karaoke “correctly” in the middle of your otherwise English sentence, but you’re not a hardcore Japanophile until you’ve kitted your home’s power outlets out with these hugely unnecessary but utterly brilliant shoji sliding paper door covers.

Made by hobbyist and blogger Tori Sugimura, these little wooden boxes feature delicate sliding doors and real washi paper panels as well as traditional Japanese design features like flowers and wading cranes.

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The Power of Perspective: This Clever Photography May Leave Property Hunters Disappointed

Whether it’s luxury hotel rooms or a seemingly ordinary computer mouse, it’s important to present whatever you’re selling online as attractively as possible. Advertisements must be concise and informative, and of course the product presented in as aesthetically pleasing a manner as possible. In the 21st century where digital air brushing is the norm and we have learned to filter the information we receive through an Internet-ready sieve of cynicism, advertisers have their work cut out for them, and without big budgets to transform ordinary snaps into tantalizing vistas, hoteliers and real estate agents must find other ways to make their resorts and accommodation look good.

The above image was spotted on a Korean real estate website by a Japanese Internet user. Advertised as a “stately residence complete with outdoor pool”, the fantastic wooden-framed structure and spacious pool look quite nice, don’t they? While it’s hardly Olympic size, we could certainly imagine ourselves doing a few lengths in that pool each morning before heading out to take care of business or ensure that our dozens of employees were working sufficiently hard.

There is, however, a little more to this image than meets the eye. Click the link to see the same pool photographed from a shall we say “less flattering” angle.

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Japan Sets Guinness Record for Synchronized Mascot Dancing 【Video】

It’s not surprising that in Japan, the land of cute and cuddly, pretty much everything has a fuzzy mascot. Even prefectural and city governments are getting in on the merchandising mania with adorable (or terrifying, depending on your point of view) characters called yuru-kyara meant to promote tourism and local products.

This week, 141 yuru-kyara from 25 prefectures across the country gathered in Sasebo, Nagasaki Prefecture, to make their mark on history by becoming the largest group of mascots ever to do the same dance together. Jaw-droppingly awesome video after the break. Read More

Desperate to Pee? Let Someone Else Shoulder the Burden with this Genius Invention: the Pee Baton!

Gadget-laden robot cat from the future Doraemon is something a national treasure here in Japan. Since the appearance of the original manga of the same name back in 1969, the subsequent TV series has been watched by multiple generations and is still on the air today. As well as remaining popular with adults and kids alike, the Japanese Foreign Ministry once declared the mechanical time-traveller the country’s official “animé ambassador”, meaning that the earless mechanical cat is sure to be around for a long time to come yet.

Perhaps the thing that people love most about Doraemon, though, is his seemingly bottomless pocket, from which the character produces all manner of gadgets and inventions in order to assist his human pal Nobita. Although the “dokodemo doa” (lit. “anywhere door”) is often given as the answer to the age-old conundrum “Which of Doraemon’s gadgets would you most like to have?”, it doesn’t stop people imagining what else could buried deep down in there.

In that vein, Yahoo! Japan recently announced the winner of its 2012-2013 Adults Only Doraemon Contest, in which contestants were asked to come up with an invention that they’d like to pull out of Doraemon’s pocket and use in real life, with the top prize being awarded to 50-year-old Rieko Honjou for her “Pee Baton”.

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The Life and Times of a Japanese Radish

The daikon is root vegetable widely used in Japanese cuisine. In the frigid winters it’s especially loved served in a steaming bowl of oden.

But most people don’t know how the humble daikon makes its way from the field to the dinner table.  So the folks at Ume Mama Root Vegetable Farms have photo-documented the entire life of a typical daikon and presented it via Twitter.

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Startling Nature Footage Reveals Penguins Are Kind of Jerks

Penguins, otherwise known as the tuxedo wearing clown princes of the Antarctic, have amused us for centuries.  Their cute little waddles and fluffy babies can warm even the coldest of hearts.

However, new footage taken by researchers has shed light on a previously unknown facet of penguin life – they’re kind of dicks.

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Santa Likes it Hot at a Shopping Center in China

This year seems to have seen a spike in older cross-dressing males, in Japan at least. According to some, the trend has steadily been on the rise in urban centers like Tokyo. Even in China, a grandfather set the modeling world on fire with the way he shows off his daughter’s merchandise.

As the year comes to a close one more elderly man has openly joined the ranks of bearded dress wearers: Santa Claus!

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Japanese Men Share Their Worst Christmas Experiences Ever: Pikachu, Platoon and Painkillers

So this is Christmas. The time where we all sip eggnog by the open fire enjoying the gentle blanket of wet snow covering a meadow as a deer scampers by, right?

Of course not, it’s raining here now and my glasses are broken. Still, I’d consider this an average holiday season for myself. For many out there, Santa has little more than a big bag of suck to stuff in your stocking.

Don’t sweat it though. Every year can’t be a winner. For those having a blue Christmas, the website MyNavi has compiled a list of Japanese men’s worst Chirstmas experiences.

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Japanese Yahoo! Answers User Asks “Why isn’t Santa Coming?”, Elf Responds with Sad News

With just seven days to go, children the world over are without a doubt already finding it hard to sleep at night. Will Santa (or Father Christmas as I grew up calling him) arrive? Have I been good enough this year? Does he know about the things I did with Jane Steepleton in her tree house during the summer?

Let’s hope that we’ve all been good boys and girls and that the big man in red will pay us all a visit, unlike one unfortunate individual who found himself giftless on Christmas day one year and took to Japan’s Chiebukuro Yahoo! Answers forums to ask the nation simply: “Where is Santa!?”

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Amazon JP Sets New Standard in Surreal Packaging, Startled Customer Tweets Photo

We’re sure that you’ve all by now had the experience of ordering a single item online only for it to arrive on your doorstep up in an enormous, oversized box or buried beneath a ludicrous amount of polystyrene. I have personally received boxes as large as a shoebox for a single videogame and spent the best part of five minutes trying to detach a single shrink-wrapped paperback book from a giant slab of cardboard that it was adhered to by Amazon’s over-zealous packing robots.

On Wednesday this week, however, a Japanese Twitter user may just have received the greatest example of surreal Amazon packaging yet.

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