funny

Sky cycling: The newest way to relieve constipation

Japan loves amusement parks. And who can blame anyone for that? The rides, the food, the long lines of screaming children. Okay, nothing’s perfect, but amusement parks certainly are a great way to spend the weekend, right? And the best part, of course, is the rides!

But not all rides are created equal. Just look at this photo of the “Sky Cycle” ride at Washuzan Highland, a Brazilian-themed amusement park in Okayama Prefecture. Doesn’t really seem very thrilling, does it? But wait…

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“Study Cube” combines prison cell and latrine… for kids!

Everyone hated studying when they were kids. Hell, everyone hated studying in college. That’s why you sat up on the top floor of the dorm with both a textbook and a beer open and somehow convinced yourself that studying drunk was totally cool as long as you were also drunk while taking the test.

But now a South Korean company has made it possible for kids and college students alike to get some hardcore studying done by creating a study prison that you may also be able to poop in because it totally looks like an old-timey latrine.

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Man in Taiwan arrested for… polishing other people’s cars

Recently in Taiwan, authorities finally apprehended a man who had been terrorizing a Taipei community for an untold stretch of time. This possible terrorist had been brazenly walking from car to a car with a cloth and wiping them down until they sparkled. The fiend!

Thankfully, a brave citizen saw their own car being shined by the man and reported him to the proper authorities. Unfortunately, the people of Taipei only had a brief respite from the horrors he unleashed as police released him shortly afterwards.

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Twisted Japanese: It’s not what you say, but how you say it!

As any Japanese speaker will no doubt tell you, the Japanese language, although tricky to master, is incredibly convenient. Not only can we entirely omit words such as “I” or “you” and simply say things like “taberu?” (“eat?”) or “iku?” (“go?”) and it still be perfectly acceptable, but there are also set phrases for use in a multitude of situations, the like of which simply do not exist in many other languages.

But even something as simple as the phrase yoroshiku onegaishimasu (lit. “Please do good (for me),” and used when asking for something or beginning a meeting, class, or even a work or training session) can be quite a mouthful at first. Thankfully though, a recent post made by a Japanese net user suggests that so long as you mutter something that sounds like the actual phrase, you’ll probably get by just fine.

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Russian President Putin’s whiteboard doodle defies explanation

We’re often treated to videos of Russia’s President Vladimir Putin doing something ultra-macho, be it piloting jets and submarines, shooting large animals with tranquilizer darts, or fighting forest fires.

However, the leader of the largest country in the world also has a sensitive side. He just doesn’t let it show very often. When you give him the opportunity, though, just watch as he marvels you with his talent.

For example, while attending a demonstration for an interactive projection whiteboard, inspiration struck President Putin and he knew exactly how to visually express what was on his mind.

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Could this be the one thing you never want to find in your parents’ possession?

There are a number of things you would never want to find hidden in amongst your parents belongings, but this one might just take the top spot.

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Earlier this month, the Katamachi branch of the Chinese food restaurant Gyoza no Osho (King of Gyoza) in Kanazawa City, Japan, shut down after a group of men decided to drop in on the royal dumpling restaurant dressed in nothing but their birthday suits.

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That’s a nice mouse you have there. Be a shame for something to…happen to it…

The best and worst part about having siblings is the practical jokes. Or, to put it another way, the best thing about having siblings is getting revenge! Judging from the blurred picture above, can you guess what sort of fun an older brother had at his younger sibling’s expense?

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Osaka city worker busted for playing obscene amounts of solitaire on the clock

The Secretary General of the Osaka Board of Elections saw his annual pay docked two full months after it was discovered he’d spent 281 hours playing solitaire on the clock over a yearlong period ending in July.

What’s most amazing is that he got away with it all year until – and this is not a joke – a whistleblower finally had to come forward and turn the guy in. That kind of information leak certainly isn’t on the same level as the Bradley Mannings of the world, but it must have taken some guts for the guy to speak out about his boss’s solitaire addiction.

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Hot new item for habitual nose pickers

The feeling of wanting to pick one’s nose is something that every boy and girl can relate to. Unfortunately, society frowns upon people who blatantly go on a booger hunt. In Japan, even blowing your nose in public can be considered bad manners! We’re not sure how sniffling up your snot for hours is better than dispelling it all in one go, but that’s beside the point.

Bandai has a brand new product to ease that natural urge. When your nose has an itch that you’re just twitching to pick, here’s a prosthetic nose that you can pick even in public!

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Emo kitty haz a sad, needs your hugs

Life, as they say, is not fair. Sometimes it rains on your birthday. Sometimes your boss yells at your for jamming the printer when you haven’t used it in weeks. Sometimes your boyfriend/girlfriend decides your clothes would look better strewn across the front lawn. And, sometimes, you just have a sad face.

We’re not sure which of these problems is afflicting this poor emo kitty from Japan, but he clearly needs a hug.

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Need eye drops? There’s an unnecessarily complicated machine for that!

So let’s say you spend all day staring at a screen–computer screen, TV screen, smartphone screen, Death Star targeting screen. It doesn’t really matter what screen, since they all emit a lot of blue light–which can be hard on your eyes. So, you want to protect your vision, but what do you do? You should get some eye drops!

Unfortunately, as you probably know, getting the eye drops from the bottle into your eyeballs is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. Almost as difficult as getting Comiket attendees to bathe. But have no fear! Omocoro, the Photoshop wizards, are here to save the day with a Pythagorean device!

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Lexus car ceremony is eerily reminiscent of a…funeral??

This must be a summer for fake funerals. In July, Hatsune Miku found herself interred in Nico Nico Douga videos following a politician’s speculative remarks. And now a Lexus car is at the center of a new round of Internet amusement after some commenters noted that the company’s “car delivery ceremony” is oddly similar to a funeral.

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Road sign encourages safe driving while bringing laughter to the Internet masses

While governmental agencies aren’t exactly known for their sense of humor, accidental or otherwise, we occasionally get a nice surprise, like the road sign above. It reads, simply enough, “Feeling sleepy while driving / When will you take a break? / How about now!”

“Hunh? What’s so funny about that,” you ask.

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Hey, Starbucks laptop guy, whatcha doin’ over there?

Starbucks and virtually every other coffee shop worthy of faux hipster attention (the real hipsters having moved on to places that use siphons and play accordion music) have become synonymous with scenes of people using laptop computers in recent years, with rows of patrons sipping from paper cups while idly clicking, scrolling, pinching to zoom and staring lazily at their screens. Some even make temporary offices out of their few square feet of space, paying their rent in cups of joe and watched by hawk-eyed staff whose warm smiles drop a millimetre for every second a small cafe latte is nursed just that little bit too long.

For the rest of us, though, these table-hogging laptop luggers are a source of genuine intrigue. “What on earth could they be doing?” we wonder to ourselves, irked that they’ve taken all the good seats. “Are they actually working over there or are they just scrolling through photos on Facebook and tapping LOL into comment boxes?”

Japan’s My Navi News too was keen to know exactly what the folks who camp out at Starbucks are actually doing while the rest of us are engaging in conversations or staring awkwardly at the floor after making eye-contact one too many times with the cute barista, and put together a survey to find out. Let’s take a look at their findings.

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Stop the presses! Scoundrels enter Pokemon tournament with illegal monsters!

In what is undeniable proof that humanity is doomed, Nintendo recently announced that up to 1,500 people, some of them adults competing against children, entered the 2013 Global Showdown Pokemon tournament using illegally acquired Pokemon.

Apparently not content to wander the virtual landscape beating harmless critters into submission then trapping them in tiny, sphere-shaped cells, these deviants used a third-party program to magic high level Pokemon into their inventory without all the legwork and random luck usually required.

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China gives big boost to Pacific Rim in box office, amuses many with weird subtitles such as “Pegasus Meteor Fist”

While the Guillermo del Toro ode to tokusatsu (Godzilla, Ultraman, etc.) films had a reasonable opening in its home country, the box office take was rather low to cover its $190 million dollar budget. However, thanks to an astounding foreign release Pacific Rim can be considered a big success – the highest grossing foreign film of the year so far to be exact.

A large part of that success can be attributed to the might of the massive Chinese film going population. As of 18 August, the Chinese revenue was reported to be 618 million yuan (US$100M) surpassing even what Pacific Rim pulled in its home country. But there’s another reason why people are paying attention to the film’s Chinese release.

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Bubble Soccer is part soccer, part sumo, mostly Looney Tunes

Sports are getting way too serious these days. There are juicing scandals, fan fistfights and bench-clearing team-on-team brawls in just about every sport. It’s all just getting a little too heady, don’t you think?

Well, these Italians sure did. So, they took matters into their own hands, and created the hilarious new sport of Bubble Soccer, which finally combines the body contact of sumo wrestling, with the majesty of soccer and the zany antics of old Warner Bros cartoons, much to the amusement of Japan’s netizens.

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“That’s one large cafe latte to go. Would you like a boyfriend with that?” A Japanese coffee shop’s dating recipe

In Western countries, they say that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Oddly enough, Japan uses the similar phrase: “Otoko gokoro wo tsukamu ni wa ibukuro kara,” or “you can snatch a man’s heart if you start with his stomach.” A local Twitter user managed to find a store in the Okubo area of Tokyo that might have taken this phrase a step too far, however.

Included on the store’s outside sign board, where normally you’d find today’s specials, was the coffee shop’s secret recipe for catching a man:

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