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The Yomiuri Giants, one of two professional teams playing in Tokyo, are without question Japanese baseball’s version of the New York Yankees. With huge coffers from which to pay the kind of salaries to attract and retain the talent to be competitive year after year, the Giants are loved at home, admired in markets that don’t have a team of their own, and reviled in those that do.

However, the Giants most recent season ended in bitter disappointment with a game seven loss in the championship Japan series. Adding insult to injury was the fact that the defeat came at the hands of the Rakuten Golden Eagles, an upstart expansion team formed in 2005 that until recently was the league’s doormat.

Clearly, a shakeup is necessary to get the Giants back on the path to glory. Something extreme, like banning chewing gum during games.

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When you think about it, there really aren’t that many situations in which it’s OK to smash food into someone else’s face. I racked my brain, and could only come up with the following two:

1. You’re a pie-throwing extra in a Three Stooges movie.

2. You and your spouse share the same slapstick sense of humor, and want to smush a slice of wedding cake into each other’s’ faces at your reception.

You know what doesn’t make the list? Scalding someone’s mug with piping-hot tofu, especially if you’re a high-ranking police officer.

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We try french fries and chocolate sauce at Lotteria Japan

We all know that there are few combinations that are better than dipping your french fries in a vanilla shake. The hot, salty fries mixed with cold, sweet ice cream…it’s a match made in cheeseburger paradise. But fries and chocolate? Japanese fast food chain, Lotteria, is betting you’ll make the jump from shakes to chocolate syrup with their new menu item. We knew we had to send Mr. Sato out to give this crazy combo a try.

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Suicide cakes – Sweets to die for

Among the many kinds of tasty sweets indigenous to Japan, you’ll find the monaka. Monaka consist of two wafers, traditionally sandwiched around a dollop of the sweet red bean paste called anko.

Different confectioners put their own unique spin on monaka, such as infusing it with citrus or mixing ice cream in the filling. But while we’ve eaten plenty of variations on the tasty treat, our intrepid reporter Mr. Sato recently brought back one we’d never heard of before: suicide monaka.

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Seamen in Hokkaido shocked to discover bright lavender crab

On 18 January, a shipment of crabs from Russia arrived at a port in Japan, some of which were bought up by wholesaler Marusan Mikami Shoten. After opening up their haul of red king crabs (an expensive favorite of Japanese seafood lovers) workers were surprised to see one of the large arthropods was shaded a rich lavender color all over.

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Awesome Japanese expressway rest stop lets you travel back in time, dine like a samurai

Growing up in Southern California, I was no stranger to long road trips, whether up the coast to visit relatives, or out to Las Vegas to visit the craps tables. Along the way I’d pass many freeway rest areas, with amenities whose quality ranged from “a good place to use the bathroom as long as you cover your nose” to “a good place to use the bathroom, as long as you have a friend with you to make sure you don’t get shanked by a hobo.”

So imagine my surprise when I moved to Japan to find that its highway rest stops (called “parking areas” by Japanese motorists) are spotless. Plus, they’re often great spots to munch on regional specialties or pick up local souvenirs. And if you happen to visit one particular parking area, you can even go back in time.

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Japanese culture is filled with gift giving, and no gift is more common than the omiyage. Usually translated as “souvenir,” omiyage is a bit broader in usage, encompassing all sorts of travel gift situations. Taking a trip somewhere? Make sure to bring back omiyage for your coworkers. Have friends coming from overseas? You might want to give them some omiyage to remember their trip by. And of course, if those same friends offer to show you around their country, it’s only polite to bring them an omiyage as a show of thanks, if you take them up on their offer.

But what kind of Japanese omiyage from Japan is most likely to be a hit with foreigners? Japanese Internet users offered the following suggestions.

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We give Mr. Sato a Gyro Bowl: Can it withstand even his creepiest undulations?

It’s a little known yet unsurprising fact that Mr. Sato loves a nice bowl of potato chips. However, much to the chagrin of his colleagues, he loves them so much that he begins to flail his limbs around wildly when he gets some.

After brushing the crumbs off the keyboards and shopping around online, the rest of the RocketNews24 staff found Gyro Bowl. For only 2,480 yen (US$24) this German-engineered bowl boasts a full 360° of spill prevention. All that combined with Mr. Sato’s inherent love of orange spinny stuff made this purchase a no-brainer. When the bowl arrived it was time to fire up the cameras and see how Gyro Bowl held up to Mr. Sato’s chip dance of joy.

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Ignore the name, Kitchen Dive’s bento are cheap and delicious!

There are only three reasons one could possibly fathom going to any establishment that’s known in American English as a “dive”: Cheap beer, cheap beer, and greasy burgers.

Now apparently you can add a fourth reason: Cheap, delicious bento lunch boxes, thanks to whispered-about bento  shop, Kitchen Dive. With just a handful of locations around Tokyo, we’d never actually seen one in the flesh before and almost thought they were some apocryphal legend; some cruel prank older, wiser salarymen were playing on the newbies, maybe (“Oh yeah, there’s a shop selling 200 yen bento. Right around the corner. Caaaan’t miss it.”).

Finally, we spotted an honest-to-goodness, 24-hour Kitchen Dive in the unassuming Kameido area of Tokyo and the 100 yen coins in our pockets practically flew out of their own accord.

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Our reporter tries “Häagen-Dazs Ice Cream Hot Pot” in China

Häagen-Dazs is one of the most luxurious ice creams you can find in a grocery store freezer. It doesn’t matter if you eat it as is or pile on a bunch of toppings, the dessert is always delicious. But did you know that in China, you can actually order Häagen-Dazs hot pot? How can you have cold, meltable ice cream and hot soup? We just had to send one of our reporters to check it out.

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In Japan, capybaras not only bathe in hot springs, they swim in your soup

We’re sure most of you have already seen photos of the little capybaras bathing in their own private onsen hot spring at the Izu Shaboten Park in Shizuoka, Japan. Now with a little creative food play, you can put your very own capybara in hot water…and eat them too. But what are they made out of?

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Just when you thought fried panda cakes couldn’t get any cuter: Strawberry milk fried panda cakes

What could be cuter than a fluffy, rolly-polly panda? A panda full of gooey strawberry-milk flavored cream of course. That’s just what Ginza Cozy Corner is cooking up at their L’Ueno shop this month.

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We play Russian roulette with new spicy “Tyrant Habanero” snacks

Russian roulette is the ultimate in high-stakes games of chance. A revolver with five empty chambers and one loaded, there is no more intense or insane way to spend a Saturday night. However, since none of our minds were warped from being a POW in the Vietnam War we haven’t had the pleasure of partaking in such a game.

But now, we might enjoy the culinary version with Tohato’s Russian Tyrant Habanero snack cups. The premise is that one out of every six corn chips in the cup is seasoned with enough habanero spice to take your face off. In the interests of science and comedy, we wrangled our weakest-tongued reporter to try some out and see if it truly is the rush its makers describe.

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We try mail order chanko stew from a swanky restaurant

Chanko stew is a very heavy dish that most people associate with sumo wrestlers. The high protein and high caloric content of these pots are perfect for putting on the bulk or just to warm your bones on a cold winter’s day. Chanko is also known to be rather pricey due to the bounty of ingredients used. That’s why most people would probably steer clear of Chankoya Suzukichan and its reputation as “a restaurant frequented by celebrities” for fear of breaking the bank.

But now, thanks to (oddly enough) the convenience store Family Mart’s online shopping site, we could get a taste of the high-life delivered straight to our door. So we did.

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We get ready for romance by eating Krispy Kreme’s limited edition Valentine’s Day donuts

With less than a month to go until Valentine’s Day, Japan has got sweets on the brain. Japanese tradition dictates that, on the special day, women give gifts to men, including at least one form of chocolate.

But while common opinion holds that homemade chocolate is best, not everyone has the culinary skills or free time to whip up a batch. So for those of you looking for the next best thing, we bring you our taste test of Krispy Kreme Japan’s three limited edition Valentine’s Day flavors.

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Moby Drink: Iceland creates a beer made with endangered whale bones, can’t sell it

Japan gets a lot of press for its continued whaling operations, but it’s not the only country that still hunts whales. Iceland also fishes a couple hundred whales a year and is one of the last remaining commercial markets for whale meat.

In fact, during the upcoming winter festival of Þorrablót, the traditional nosh is pickled whale fat along with such delicacies as burned sheep heads and pickled sheep testicles. Now what’s a real Viking to wash all that down with? Why, whale beer of course!

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We eat tasty, steaming Korean poo cakes

It’s been a little more than a year since we reported on ttongsul, or Korean feces wine. And while many of our readers enjoyed sampling the beverage vicariously through the five victims brave young ladies we recruited for the taste test, others took us to task for not having our regular staff knock back a glass of dookie-liqueur.

In an attempt at penance, we traveled to Korea to snack on poo-shaped cakes.

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Something for soy milk skeptics: cola and pear flavors

Living in Japan has done a lot to broaden my palate. For example, over the last 10 years my take on tofu has gone from “jello’s boring cousin” to “actually pretty good, especially with a little bit of sesame or spicy sauce.”

That said, I’m still not sold on soy milk. While the idea of popping open a soybean pod and finding delicious morsels of beef sounds like some sort of wonderful dreamland, the potential magic of bovine/bean cross-over doesn’t do much for me in reverse, and in general I’ll happily pass on drinkable soy.

Hoping to change my mind are two upcoming additions to soy giant Kikkoman’s line of flavored soy beverages: pear and cola.

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KFC has its own potato chips in Japan, and we’ve got them in our bellies

For all of the attention Japan gets for its culinary contributions such as sushi and tempura, precious little credit is given to the way the country is always willing to push the envelope of salty snacks. Walk into any convenience store in the country, and you’ll find shelf after shelf stuffed with rice crackers, assorted nuts, and most of all, potato chips.

Recently, snack maker Calbee unleashed its newest flavor: KFC Colonel’s Crispy Potato Chips, and despite having never been to Kentucky, I knew it was my solemn duty to eat them.

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Instant boyfriend and girlfriend curry pouches now on sale, shopkeepers “worried”

Strolling up and down the aisles of any supermarket in Japan, you are bound to come across several items in sealed vinyl retort pouches. Retort pasta sauce, retort rice porridge, and retort cat food can all be found freshly sealed and ready for quick heating if needed.

Now, all the hassle of landing a boyfriend or girlfriend has been removed, thanks to Retort Boyfriend (Retoruto Kareshi) and Retort Girlfriend (Retoruto Kanojo). Sounds great, but the new product has caused some, like the manager of the Village Vanguard shop pictured above, to become “worried about the future of Japan.”

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