Japanese people share 11 amusing tales relating to pregnancy and childbirth

Ah, childbirth. That lovely moment when the child you’ve been waiting to meet for months finally comes into the world and brings with it all the joys that come with parenthood. If you’re a woman, that moment also equates to the feeling of your body being ripped into bits as you forcefully expel a new human being from your body. (Sorry if you’re drinking your morning tea as you read this!)

Like the rest of the female population around the world, Japanese women are no strangers to the pains of birthing a child. Below, we have gathered eleven of amusing anecdotes that have been shared over social media relating to their pregnancies, the hysterical states they were in during childbirth, and the time after their child’s birth. And don’t miss the one story at the end that will positively melt your heart.

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Funky food-themed swaddling cloths let you wrap your baby up like sushi, egg rolls, or tortillas

It always seems a little strange when someone looks at a really cute baby and squeals, “He’s so cute I could just eat him up!” I agree, most babies are pretty adorable, and if you said, “He’s so cute I could take on the social responsibility of providing food, clothing, and shelter for him,” or maybe “He’s so cute I could put up with his moody teen years,” I’d probably be right with you.

But eating him? Why would your mind go there? Unless, of course, the baby is wrapped in a sushi roll-style swaddling cloth.

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Totally metal newborn shows off hardcore cuteness for approving musician dad

From looking at his Twitter profile, you might conclude that Hazuki, singer for the Osaka-based Grollschwert, is a pretty metal dude. He describes the unit as a “melodic deathrash metal band,” and his own vocal style as guttural, growling, and screeching.

Still, even the most dedicated musicians can’t be hardcore all the time, and the vocalist has recently been sharing pictures of his adorable newborn baby daughter with his Twitter followers. It looks like metal is in the family genes, though, as the baby has already executed a perfect double devil horn salute.

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Crazy Japanese “doctor” thinks babies live in clouds, choose their mothers from the heavens

When a 4-year-old tells you his favorite hobby is riding dinosaurs with laser guns on their backs, you’d probably tend to laugh it off as the whimsical musings of a person whose brain hasn’t fully developed yet. But apparently one Japanese researcher thought taking the nonsensical ramblings of very young children seriously was an important research project lending insight into the pre-conception brains of recently born people.

“Doctor” Akira Ikegawa – who is crazy and is possibly also hoping to defraud at least a few people – says his research in prenatal care has revealed that babies sit up in clouds looking down on the world picking and choosing which mother they prefer to be born to before spiriting themselves into those mothers’ wombs to be carried to term.

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“Mom’s 1st Birthday” – Try to get through this video without tearing up【Video】

This short video from Pampers Japan takes a moment to celebrate not just baby’s, but mother’s first birthday. It sounds a little bit cheesy, and yes, it was ultimately made by a multinational company promoting their brand of nappies (or diapers in non-British parlance), but it is nevertheless insanely moving, and we challenge you not to cry, or at least tear up, while watching it.

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Hamster babies steal our hearts, leave us begging for more

Everyone loves hamsters. From the Internet masses cooing over their adorable keisters to snakes who refuse to eat them, there’s something about their furry round bodies that reduces us to piles of squealing glee. They’re just so cuuuuuuuute!

And what’s the only thing cuter than a hamster? Well, if you said “Baby hamsters,” then you are clearly psychic! We’d tell you to get out of our heads, but we’re too busy “awww”ing over these photos.

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Infant cosplay: It’s-a me, Mario-bambino! 【Photos】

For any parent that’s ever thought, “My child is super cute, but I wish he looked a bit more like an Italian-American plumber,” do we have news for you.

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Japan’s top 20 flowery names for baby girls: love, hearts, and dreams

In many English-speaking countries, it’s common to name children after a parent or relative. My dad, oldest brother, and nephew all share the same first name, for example, which provides a link through the generations, plus makes it easy for my mom to simultaneously call them for dinner.

This isn’t really done in Japan, though, and not being tethered to the past means that baby name trends can gather or lose momentum quickly. Recently, Japan is seeing more and more kirakira names. Kirakira literally means “sparkly,” and usually either the combination of kanji characters used to write the name, or the pronunciation itself, is flowery and unique.

But as a list of the top 20 for girls shows, kirakira names aren’t always just flashy, sometimes they’re downright sweet.

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Time to start potty training! Chinese speculators buying up diapers in Japan

Despite policies designed to keep the birth rate in check, China remains the most populous nation on the planet. That many people means a lot of new babies every year, and the digestive tracts of babies in China have as busy a schedule as infants anywhere.

What we’re trying to say is that China has to deal with mountains of baby poop every day. And since some Chinese parents have a penchant for keeping their kids dry with Japanese diapers, consumers in Japan have been reporting shortages of Japanese brand Merries, as Chinese speculators in Japan buy up the local stock.

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Cute attack: China’s 14 new panda cubs lined up in size order 【Video】

When it comes to cuteness contests, even a single panda cub is tough to beat, so you can probably imagine how we squealed like schoolgirls when we stumbled upon this footage of fourteen of them lined up in rows in a crib.

We don’t care how cute your videos of your pet are – unless it’s a duckling wearing a sling or a kitten sneezing feathers while wearing a Pikachu onesie, nothing is going to beat this!

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Japanese mother compares child-rearing techniques in the US and Japan, finds mixed results

Raising children is always difficult, regardless of the country you live in. Whether it’s changing diapers or dealing with the “terrible twos,” it can sometimes seem like children exist solely to make their parents’ lives difficult.

But certain cultural and social factors can have a big impact on the whole process, as one Japanese mother explains after moving back to her home country after many years in the US.

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Japanese Babies Daydream Too! Creative Infant Art a la Mila’s Daydreams Sweeps Japan

Being a new mom is tough (this is just speculation; I haven’t birthed one my own yet). Taking care of a baby is a full-time job, and after an intensive session of feeding, burping, changing, wiping and playing, those few hours of peace that children reward their mothers with during naptime are truly precious—so why not have a little fun with them?

Adele Enersen, a former ad copywriter and full-time mother who lives in Finland, thought to do just that when she created Mila’s Daydreams, a photo blog where she shares the whimsical dreams of her daughter, Mila, as she naps peacefully on canvases of colorful fabrics and household objects.

The blog went viral back in 2010, and in January 2011, Enerson compiled some of the best photos from the blog into her first book, When My Baby Dreams. Now, thanks in part to a similar book published by a Japanese mother, the daydreaming baby photo craze has hit Japan.

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